Chapter 44: Smacktalk

---D-Day+210, Siesic(Youyue) 21st, Thursday(Wuri) Afternoon---

---Beyulongong, Lower Ward---

“This Ding will thrash you until you call me father!”

Jesus Christ, how the hell can they even think that that is smacktalk?

A huge training hall in the lower district. Looks like an oversized dojo or kwoon. One a couple football fields long and across. Mostly built of a rich golden wood. With grey stone and red brick used for the base of walls and columns. Swept roof. Wide double-eaves. Blue banners hang from the beams.

“Peasant! You have eyes but cannot see Mount Tai!”

The ceiling beams are three stories up. Over forty feet. Supported by thick widely spaced pillars. Providing room for the more acrobatic techniques. Can feel the numerous formations and arrays written into the structure with qi. Strengthening it. Very needed with all the martial arts techniques used here.

Light streams through windows in the walls and tiered roof. Lanterns and lamps complete the effect. Filling the giant space with a soft white-yellow glow. Smells of wood, oil and sweat. Cool damp air.

The crowd isn't quiet either.

“Half string on Disciple Ding!” “Are you mad?!” “A string on Core Disciple Han!” “Like crushing dry weeds and smashing rotten wood for Senior Brother Han!” “Overturn Heaven and Earth, Brother Ding!”

Guanqian are strings of one thousand copper coins used across Luyan. Every tongqian, copper money, is minted with a hole in the middle so it can be easily strung together. This is done because most prefer to trade silver and gold in ingots, taels, instead of coins. So large numbers of copper coins are used for many purchases.

The fact that no one is wagering spirit stones. Not even gold or silver. Means no one is taking this duel seriously. [Super Senses] shows me Inner Disciple Ding Dong is still in Qi Gathering, 2nd Realm. Though it feels like he is on the edge of breaking through to Foundation Establishment.

While Core Disciple Han Jing is in Core Formation, 4th Realm. And while it is not impossible to beat someone a rank or two higher than you? Han looks like he’s in his forties. Very fit with a long black fu manchu mustache and bound ponytail. Which, cultivation wise, could mean he’s well over a hundred years old.

That’s a hell of a lot more experience than the teenaged wall of muscle has. Maybe, his bronze spear artifact can make up the difference. Maybe not. Me? Couldn’t care less. I’m here to kill “young” master Han. Since he’s one of the assholes responsible for Big Ji’s disgrace and exile.

This training hall is one of several in the sect and has around two thousand members in it right now. Creating a sea of blue fabric. Most have the green accents and sashes of outer disciples. A few the red cummerbunds and trim of inner disciples. While only a couple use the yellow of core disciples. Including me and Tiang Ji.

There are even a handful of elders sitting in the short stands that line the outer wall. Identifiable by their stronger auras, black hems and girdles.

And although the colors are uniform. The fashion is anything but. All wear daoist robes but the tailoring varies dramatically. From wuxia amish to xianxia strippers. Old and young. Guys and gals. Huh. Never realized this sect has a chippendales.

Ew… Really gonna need to bleach my eyeballs after this.

Modified to bare an arm or two. Expose a leg or two. A tail. Chest. From short as a skirt length to dragging on the ground. Some wear the robes so tightly it looks like spandex. Others have them very loose and baggy. There are headbands, scarves, hats, belts, wraps and jewelry of every sort.

Bouts between high ranking or well known cultivators tend to attract a crowd. Especially grudge matches like this one.

Besides the elders. On the bleachers are also entourages and local residents. Many dressed in every color but blue. The young master retinues are easily picked out due to having fewer servants or guards. And more fancily dressed ladies. Some include female disciples.

Though mine with over fifty wives, servants and guards, all women, is easily the biggest here. Not only because my harem is stupidly large for someone my age. But also due to husbands typically bringing just their “favorites” along. Leaving the rest back in their siheyuan.

I should start doing that more often.

So you have the elders, locals and entourages in the peanut gallery. While most disciples stand on the floor. Crowding the raised platform in the center of this bigass room.

Looks kind of like a boxing ring.

Enterprising vendors roam about. Hawking fried pastries, bean cakes, seeds and nuts.

As I watch the pre-duel bragging. Which can last longer than the spar itself. Recall my conversation with Little Li a while back. Since Ji was always too embarrassed to speak about it. She felt the need to reveal the sordid details herself.

…

“Xingan, please understand how intimidating Jiji once was.” We’re laying in bed together, aftercare cuddling, post-coitus sage mode. It's late. Dark. And just about everyone else is passed the fuck out.

From fucking.

“Intimidating?” Her super humble and usually quiet big sister Ji, intimidating?

China girl nods. “Yes, while some of the greatest cultivators have been women.” Squirms. “Most are encouraged to not excel too much.” A sigh. “Especially more than the man who will be their husband.”

Yep, good old sexism and misogyny. Helping take the human out of humanity since Adam and Eve.

“Bet the shaoye1young masters were not happy.”

Nods into my chest again. A finger traces abs. “None at her level could best her. And most feared to challenge Jiji. Unwilling to risk face for losing to a young girl.”

“So they fought dirty instead.” Ah yes. A tale as old as time. True as it can be.

Can’t beat em? Backstab em.

Even sweaty and sticky. I can feel the fresh tears on my pecs.

“Resources stolen. Servants bribed.” Frustration. “Honorless duels forced.” Hey, um, that fingernail is starting to draw blood babe. “Spreading lewd rumors.” Nope, let's keep those angry hands up here. My balls are not stress balls. “Then, after months of harassment, a final betrayal.”

Bet I know where this is going. “Let me guess, best friend?”

Chinese princess stares up at me, shocked. “How did you know?”

“Lucky guess.” It's always the one you least expect.

Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal.

Little Li rests her head back down. “Her dearest friend slipped a powerful aphrodisiac into sister’s tea.” Sniff. More tears. “Then delivered Jiji to a young masters club dinner.” A sob. “Where… she joined the dancers… as entertainment.”

Great, now I’ve got snot on my nipples.

“Gangbang?” The hentai practically writes itself.

Another stunned look. “Oh, no, Xingan. If they touched her? Defiled her? Would have been executed.” More tears and mucus as her head drops again. “But there were, um, toys. That big sister used… enthusiastically. And very loudly. Where she could be seen by everyone attending. Including several guest elders.”

“Ouch.”

Another nod. “The humiliation was complete. That lewd performance left her with no face. In the sect or at court.” Scratch.

Ow. “What happened to the BFF?”

Click of the tongue. “Tch. She and the young master of a weak clan who gave her the drug were questioned thoroughly.” Teeth grind. “Neither survived the interrogation.”

“And the others?”

Growling. “There were too many strong clans involved to punish them.” Uh. Fingernails drawing blood again babe. “So Jiji was sent to a school in a distant land, Stormgarde. After attending, she would return and marry Prince Zheping.” A snicker. “In that those young masters at least failed. Frogs lusting after swan flesh. Sister and the prince had known and loved each other for many years. Originally meeting at court.”

“So the real exile began after she got NTR’d there, right?”

“N.T.R? Oh, yes, Yuehan.” Sad then angry. “But her fall began in the Beyulongong. From the schemes of the cowardly silkpants2derogatory slang for young master.” Grumbling. “And those who chose to abandon her.” Determined. “Insults they will all pay for.”

…

So, yeah, Li’s got a hit list. And while Fu Manchu over there ain’t at the top? He’s in the top ten.

Huh?

Why doesn’t Ji off them herself? She can’t. It's some honor status thing. Apparently, since the emperor forgave Ji’s “crime.” Then the crimes that led to it are also forgiven. Sort of? I think? Some of the explanations didn’t make a whole lot of sense.

The justice system in wuxia world is weird.

But, honestly, I don’t mind being her avenger. Big Ji’s been good to me. Always willing to help me understand the latest xianxia nonsense. And a very giving lover.

Plus murdering assholes to death is pretty cathartic.

“You are but a frog in a well, Disciple Ding!”

Oh. My. God! This is taking longer than a narcoleptics championship halftime show.

A juvenile girl’s voice jars me awake as I’m about to nod off.

“Junfei Badun, I would speak with you.”

Eh?

Suddenly there is a young girl standing in the row in front of me. Locking eyes with mine. In fact, Ding Dong’s entire harem is now standing at the bottom of the stands. Glaring up at me.

Are they secretly ninja hookers? Shinobi prostitutes?

Smoke bomb!

Everyone else is ignoring us. Being entertained, somehow, by the two still posturing idiots on stage.

The kid is called “Sister” by Dong. Our faceoff back in Chenghai showed she is “not simple,” as the webnovels say. In fact, I was surprised by how strong Ding Mei’s aura suddenly became. Though it again looks normal now. Must have one hell of a masking technique.

At the bottom is a tattooed now collared catkin, two vikings, two yanese outer disciples, one dogkin outer disciple, and a very uncomfortable looking Su Xiao. They're all letting the young girl take the lead for whatever reason.

“Go, I say, go away girlie. You bother me.” Dismissively wave her off. “Can’t ya see I’m trying to watch the game? Game that is.”

Foghorn Leghorn, parenting guru.

I ignore the gasps from her companions as the skinny chick speaks with authority well beyond her years.

“Elder Qiao Zhi,” does the cupped fist bow thing to Snowbunny behind me, “it is good to see you are well.” Glares at me again. “Despite the company you are keeping.” Did she just insult me? “Junfei Badun, I would bargain with you.”

“Not interested.” I go back to watching Cultivation’s Funniest Home Videos. Or at least try too. “You know, I say, you know you make a better door than a window.”

Quietly asks. “Not even for the location of the Allfather?”

Now she’s worth listening to. “Excuse you?”

“Save Ding Dong and I will reveal the location of the Allfather.” Ding Mei repeats.

“Save? What do I need to save him for?” Seriously. “Doesn't he have plot armor?”

“There have been… changes that obscure the heavens.” Uncomfortable. “Brother's destiny is no longer as clear as it once was.”

Is she talking about that system thing Frazur ate?

"But you know where the divine molester is?" Well that’s what he is.

Fidgets. "...Approximately…"

Set squinting to maximum power! "Approximately?" Well done, lads. That’ll show ‘em.

“Stop this duel,” she’s not enjoying my stare, “and I will tell you where the Allfather was.”

Was? Does that mean the patron god of pedophiles isn't locked up somewhere?

“Well,” nah, “thanks for the offer but it seems a little late to stop things now.”

"Please forgive the interruption, Dashi." Tiang Ji joins the conversation.

Look over my shoulder and smile at the amber-eyed hottie. "Yes, Ji’er?"

She blushes cutely and gets shy, whispering back. "There is a way to halt this duel with no loss of face."

"Oh? Do tell."

…

Moron mountain bellows. "I shall deliver justice to you like I did to your villainous brother!"

“If you break your own legs and kowtow to this shaoye three times.” Not quite so young master states. “I shall leave your corpse intact.”

“Hold!” Put some mana in it so everybody hears. “I proclaim that this duel cannot continue!”

"And your reason, Grand Disciple Badun?" Inquires an elder in the peanut gallery.

Grand disciple? Wtf?

"Yes, elder," do the cupped hand thing, "my claim predates Brother Han's dispute with Junior Brother Ding." Hehe, junior.

"And what dispute is that?" Another old guy asks.

"Why the humiliation of my concubine, Tiang Ji Ping, elder."

…

You could hear a fucking pin drop.

Mental gymnastics routine, go!

Since Ji is of an equal or higher status than Han Jing. Him allowing the public humiliation of Tiang Ji to continue without making significant efforts to stop it. Can be considered a serious insult.

And while the crime of drugging and putting the lust crazed Ji on display has been forgiven. The humiliation, loss of face, caused by it is not something the emperor can, technically, undue.

Still with me?

So, despite Ji not being able to seek justice herself for the humiliation either. Still kind of confused on that one. Something to do with her social status? Her husband, if she is a wife/concubine, or her children, can.

If of equal or higher status than the offender.

One super short ceremony later. Witnessed by an elder, Qiao Zhi. With a ring forged, by my fingers and mana, from a couple mithral coins Lili had in her purse. And Tiang Ji Ping is my fourth concubine.

Welcomed with lots of tearful hugs by the rest of my harem. And Ding's too which seemed… odd to me. Though Ji’s sister Li is a bit pouty over it. Since daddy told her no on getting hitched to me.

Him not saying no about Ji too? I'm gonna call that a loophole.

The masses part before me like the sea before Moses as I approach the platform. Dong's sister follows close behind. A little qi enhanced jump easily clears the edge and I land a few feet from halfwit hero.

Who is scowling at me like I just stole his favorite christmas treat. Feel Sanctity and Tormentor react to that bronze spear again. Damn they really hate each other. Should figure out why someday.

"You…" But before manchild can shove his foot any further into his own mouth.

"Brother." Mei hisses. "Get down here."

Moron mountain flinches from the venom in her glare and whines back. "But sister…"

A stomp that’s heavier than it should be and an even glarier glare. "Brother." Another hiss. "Now." And points at the floor next to herself.

Unsettled by the unusually hostile aura the tween girl is suddenly giving off. Disciples around her warily shuffle back a couple steps. If cultivation has taught these students anything. It's that you never judge a book by its cover.

Village idiot's shoulders sag and he sadly hops down from the ring. Then quietly follows her back to the stands.

After a chuckle I turn my attention to the soon to be ex-living person on the platform with me. Who is acting all serious now. His earlier bravado has vanished.

"So today is the day my journey ends." A mature voice. Core Disciple Han Jing seems resigned to his fate.

"Yep."

"Is there any way to prevent this?" Fu Manchu is looking for an out.

"Nope."

He looks at the stands where my harem sits.

"Will you apologize to the princess, for me?" A sigh. "I loved her, once, long ago."

"Nah."

"Hehe." Laughs forlornly. "You terrify them, did you know that?"

"Don't care."

"No," shakes his head, "you would not." Hands on his hips. "Then there is no need for secrets now." Another sigh. "Princess Li's mother was part of the plot against Princess Ji. She wanted Tiang Li to marry Prince Zheping. Tiang Ji, after taming, would be auctioned off among the young masters."

Han looks at me like he's expecting a reaction or something. "So?"

"S-so?" My lack thereof catches him off guard. "Do you not care?"

Shrug. "Li's mom has already dug her own grave." Slowly draw Sanctity into a two-hand hanging-left guard. "I just haven't decided to put her in it yet."

Unsheathes his own saber. "They will all turn on you someday." Two hands the hilt. Raises it into a high guard. "The immortal way is too narrow to walk with others."

Chuckle. "There can be only one, huh?"

Guess I better watch out for a Christopher Lambert cameo.

*thump* *woosh*

[Star Slash]

Jing stomps as he triggers a third realm technique with impressive speed. Sweeping his curved steel downward in a blur to bisect me as he flashes forward.

*ving*

My holy sword thrusts forward. Deflecting the saber to the left as his left hand slides down the handle. Pulling a hidden knife out of the pommel and stabs at me.

*ting*

Tormentor springs out of its scabbard. Catch it with my left hand just in time to block the dagger and push it to the right. Leaving Han overextended, and wide open, but me with scissored arms.

*skrak* *foozh* *crash* *slulch*

Mana surges into the infernal longsword and divine rapier. Instantly covering the former in flames and the latter with lightning. Sanctity slices across his neck and Tormentor slashes below his abdomen as I uncross my arms. Shattering a barrier of qi that pops into existence on the way.

Probably some sort of life-saving talisman. Pity, for Han Jing, that it wasn't strong enough.

*spoosh*

Blood and gore fountain as his head flies one way. His legs the other. And the torso flips a couple times before splatting on the mat in front of me.

The odor of burning scorched flesh overwhelms the stage and flows into the audience. As the front of my blue and yellow uniform darkens from the spray.

*flik*

Pull qi out of the superswords, dousing them, and give each a quick flick to get the worst of the chunks off. Damn, will need to clean and oil them again. Pan across the crowd and raise my blades wide.

“Are you not entertained?!”

Some look upset by my brutality. Others sickened. But most look pleased. A few even appear ecstatic. Not sure who starts it but a chant spreads.

“““Shenshou3Godbeast, shenshou, shenshou, shenshou!”””

The silkpants, however, have sour expressions.

Give them a smirk as I cross blades in front of my chest.

That’s right, bitches.

Daddy’s home.