Secret weapon

"Hello again, everyone!!"

Wow, I seriously slept like an absolute dream!

Anyway, picking up right where we left off last time, I have to tell you something very important: don't go thinking that during these 5 years of time skip I was just wasting my time training to be the perfect househusband... I also took full advantage of that time to learn a whole lot about this world!!

What's that? Didn't I already have prior knowledge of how things worked around here?

Well...

Yes... and no.

You see, my dear and undoubtedly misinformed friend (I think?), over these past five years I came to realize the massive gaps in my memory. Therefore, I learned the hard way that I can't blindly trust everything I think I remember!

I mean, I'm still haunted by the bitter memory of that one time I confused a sweet pastry with devilishly spicy food!

And the look on (possessed) Mom's face at that exact moment... that expression like she was staring at the stupidest creature on the face of the Earth... it genuinely hurt me to the very core of my soul.

I REFUSE TO GO THROUGH SUCH HUMILIATION EVER AGAIN!!!

I mean, just picture the scene: you strut around with absolute confidence, boasting about knowing how to navigate any bad situation in this new world, only to end up with the classic, embarrassing GAME OVER simply due to a lack of basic info... That is something I flat-out refuse to accept!

So, taking advantage of the increased mobility and freedom that came with simply growing up a bit, I decided to wield the most powerful tool available to humanity today.

That's right!!

I am talking about none other than...

THE INTERNET!!!

With this glorious and almighty tool, which absolutely no one can live without nowadays (including myself, of course), I dove deep into researching countless topics and successfully managed to place myself on this world's timeline (well, more or less).

What? You don't think that's important?

Are you an idiot or what?!

That is astronomically important!

By knowing where we stand in time, I can prepare in advance for large-scale disastrous events!

A prime example of this is that I now know terrifying events like "The Halloween Tragedy" or the "Collapse of the Veil" haven't happened yet. We are talking about extremely dangerous situations that, to be completely honest with you, I would have preferred a thousand times over to live through after they were already resolved...

Oh well, I guess that's asking way too much in such a ridiculously unpredictable world where any crazy thing can happen at any moment.

Sigh...

Yeah, this is definitely going to be tough.

Although I know exactly what you're asking yourself right now: why am I not panicking or screaming in utter despair like last time?

Well, the answer to that is ridiculously simple.

Even though I know I'll be facing situations where a single wrong step could mean my tragic demise, I still have an absolutely foolproof secret weapon that I plan to put to the test today.

What is it, you ask?

Excellent question, my dear Watson. Alright, I'll reveal it to you.

Prepare to be utterly blown away.

MY ULTIMATE SECRET WEAPON IS...

PRAYING TO THE HEAVENS WITH ALL MY MIGHT!!!