Time skip

Hello everyone!!

It's been a good while since last time, and now... I'm 5 years old!!

At what point did all of this happen?

I know you must be wondering how we made such a huge time jump all of a sudden, but honestly, my perception of time seems to be a little (severely) broken from having been trapped in that damned void for so long.

Ahem...

Sorry about that, as you can see, I'm still not over the trauma...

Anyway, I'm sure you're wondering what actually changed during this totally unexpected time skip.

VERY WELL!!

We are going to answer your questions one by one, so let's start with the Q&A session!

[QUESTION 1]

"Did you gain any muscle mass like you said you would?"

[ANSWER]

"NO!"

[QUESTION 2]

"Did you get any kind of cheat power or special ability to get ahead?"

[ANSWER]

"NO!"

[QUESTION 3]

"YOU DIDN'T DO A SINGLE THING IN THESE FIVE YEARS, DID YOU?!!!"

[ANSWER]

"IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, I SWEAR!!!"

Yeah...

I am deeply glad you got your answers...

Uhh...

What? This only raises even more questions?

Okay, fine, I'll give you a little more context, alright?

You see... and please, I ask for a bare minimum of respect so don't laugh at what I'm about to say, but...

The cold, hard truth is that...

Do you promise not to make fun of me?

I AM PATHETICALLY WEAK!!!

Are you happy now?? Was that what you wanted to hear?!

I tried! I really tried to train with all my might! But no matter how hard I tried or how much effort I put into it, I could NEVER, EVER do more than two damn push-ups in a row!

Aaaaaahhhhh!!

(WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES WITH THE BROADCAST. PLEASE STAND BY)

Sniff... sniff...

Phew...

I sincerely apologize for that pathetic scene just now...

Well, that got pretty awkward, so let me drastically change the subject. Over these past 5 years, my relationship with (possessed) Mom is going surprisingly well. Even though her vulgar attitude and the way she treats (and neglects) her own body haven't changed at all, we get along great. Or well, at least from my point of view.

Luckily for me, I still haven't hit puberty or experienced any kind of sexual awakening. Believe me, I tried with all my strength to convince her to at least wear a t-shirt around the house, but that only ended up accentuating the involuntary eroticism of her figure even more.

I mean, how on earth can she have such a perfect, sculpted body if all she does all day is gorge on junk food and be a top-tier couch potato?

And to make matters worse, she still retains mind-blowing physical strength without lifting a single finger to train!

What is this? Is she some kind of overpowered cheat protagonist from an isekai?

THAT IS NOT FAIR AT ALL!!!

(ONCE AGAIN WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL PROBLEMS. WE APPRECIATE YOUR PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING)

I'm okay, everything's under control, just breathe... Remember your happy place, Mireya. Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth.

Phew...

Alright, I'm back!

Now then, if my (possessed) mother is the cheat code user of this story with her life hacks, what do I have going for me?

Well, it turns out I actually discovered I had a hidden talent for something, and that is...

HOUSEWORK!!

Yeah, just as you hear it. It turns out that in the athletic department, this body is a complete and absolute disaster, but when it comes to cleaning, cooking, knitting, and doing laundry, I'm a top-level expert!

How does this help me survive in this new world?

I don't have the faintest idea, you tell me!

Oh well, at least thanks to this, life at home is way smoother. (Possessed) Mom stubbornly refuses to hire a maid because, in her own words, "she would lose her sacred freedom to walk around however she damn pleases in her own house," so I respected her wishes and we left it at that.

A lot more things have happened over these years, but honestly, I got super sleepy and it's time for bed. And as the old saying goes: you need to sleep well to grow big and strong!

Because think whatever you want, but I still haven't given up on my dream of building muscle!