Chapter 132. Chiara’s Past

“Oh…” I said, slowly nodding along, forcing myself to see the goodness in their decision. “That’s… Good. That’- That’s good.” I repeated, not sure if I was trying to convince myself of that very fact. ‘This is for the best. I already knew nothing could come from it. I already made up my mind to be with Pansy, despite the gray area with Luna.’ Just recalling the confusing state between Luna Pansy and I sent waves of inevitable fear I had earlier stamped down through procrastination.

Using the same method, I pushed the morality of my actions and the repercussions of them away to focus on Chiara. “I’m glad for you; for you both.” I politely smiled with a nod, saving face at my own disgusting instincts wishing for more.

***

Chiara could tell Lucas’ slight apprehension in his smile. Giving her hope of Lucas’ feelings towards Hermione and herself. She knew from Hermione that Pansy would never share Lucas. If she accepted him and they officially started to date, he might be gone forever. She would never even have a piece of him. However, despite that, watching Lucas in such a sorry state, Chiara could only point him towards his best interests. “Thank you…” She responded to him, holding her tongue from saying things that would confuse him more.

‘It’s killing him to hold such secrets from Pansy… He must really-’ Chiara held back the last word in her mind, already finding it difficult to give any hint towards her own desires with Lucas’ presence so near to her, she couldn’t risk any tip of the scales. “You need to tell Pansy, to keep yourself calm.” She forced out, staring deeply into Lucas’ furrowed blue eyes. “It’s not that simple…” He muttered, his fist tightening with angst, leaving Chiara to infer the meaning behind his words.

***

“I’m sure she’ll accept you Lucas.” Chiara tried to comfort me with sweet words, but they only made me sick with fear. “But that’s the problem!” I shouted, shaking my head. “I can be confident. I can be ‘sure’. But I can’t know until I take that step!” I yelled my insecurities, before sighing the stress away just from the sight of Chiara’s saddened expression. “You don’t understand, okay? With Lun- Even if she forgives me for other things... After she rejects me, it will never be the same… What we have will be gone forever.”

Taking a deep breath, I was about to walk away, willing to deal with my own debaucherous thoughts with the help of Luna to keep things static, but Chiara’s usual shaking voice stabilized into a forlorn tone of ease. “I do understand, Lucas.” I blinked with confusion at her sudden change in attitude, until I noticed Chiara’s silver eyes glistened with a few tears that slowly streamed down her cheeks. A small saddened smile corralling the liquid down the center of her chin.

Chiara sniffled, and wiped her eyes, no more tears falling after she regained her composure. I could only stare in confusion as Chiara swallowed the lump in her throat. “I know what your fears are, Lucas. It’s the very same reason why I haven’t told Harry, Ron, or even Ginny about my condition.” I was suddenly reminded of Luna’s offhanded comment in the chamber when I first fell for her embrace. I was so filled with lust and excitement with her mere presence that it slipped over my mind for more carnal emotions. A question that I should have wondered weeks ago, only now taking form. “Why?”

I knew Potter at least was very close to Professor Lupin, even after he was exposed. The others didn’t seem too fearful or disgusted as many of the other students I remembered in the Slytherin common house. Shaking away Draco’s statements of the danger Lupin posed to us all, Chiara licked her dry lips, her response finally composed in her mind. “Because…” She paused, her gaze avoiding mine, conflicting with herself whether or not to say what she had prepared. One last look at my eyes, and she squeezed tighter on my sleeve with determination. “I lost a friend that way…”

Chiara’s eyes darkened while her gaze wandered far into the distant past. “It was a little over a year since I… changed. My mom and dad always warned me to hide and keep my condition a secret, but I couldn’t lie to my best friend… Jess.” Chiara forced out the name she had been holding deep inside her heart, scoffing a bit with a sardonic smile, as if mocking her past self. “And she accepted me. I told her to keep it a secret, and she did. For that year she didn’t even tell my mom or dad that she knew… but finally, they managed to get me some wolfsbane potion.” The last words she spoke brought her back into depression. I could almost see the past with her description.

***

“I’ve never been awake during the ‘time’. I wonder what it’s like!” Chiara eagerly whispered to her closest friend while they both sat in Chiara’s room. “Does that mean we can play together longer?” Jess asked with equal excitement, her eyes brightening while dropping her toy on the floor. Chiara hummed, wondering if it was a good idea. “I don’t know… Mom and dad always said it was dangerous to be seen…” She hedged with thought, slowly placing her own toy onto the floor of her room.

Jess whined with a pout. “But I wanna see!! My parents won’t get a doggy, and we’re neighbors, so we can just play in your backyard! You're the last house on the street next to the open park.” Jess quickly made argument after argument in order to compel her best friend. Just seeing the sparkling gaze in Jess' eyes Chiara meagerly nodded her head, still a little unsure, but willing to do what her friend wanted. “Okay…”

That night, Chiara was locked in the basement like always. The full moon’s gaze called to her, and her beast was quick to answer. The pain of her body growing twice in size hurt more now that she was vividly awake during the process, but with the pain, came a new sense of strength she had never felt before.

The glowing strands of fur covering her body hid dense muscle that yearned to be used. with the sudden change in height, and the overwhelming sense of strength, Chiara felt her body was not her own. It was better. “AWHOoOO!” She howled, not her bestial side taking control, forcing her to only remember the past feelings like a foggy dream, but she herself felt the desire to yell with pride. Panting after emptying her lungs Chiara couldn’t wait to show Jess what she had become. ‘Why would mom and dad say this is a bad thing? I feel great! I feel alive!’ “Sweetie! Can you hear me!? Tap on the door twice if you understand me!” Her mom yelled through the reinforced and barred door, pounding on it to get Chiara’s attention.

With a smile, Chiara tapped on the door with her finger, but noticed her nail was in the way. She carefully inspected her hand to see long sturdy claws that felt sharp to the touch. “Are you going to be okay tonight!?” Her dad asked, reminding Chiara that he stood up every full moon to watch over her, and make sure she was okay. ‘He can sleep while I get to play with Jess! This is perfect, maybe this can be every full moon!’ Chiara eagerly thought, tapping the door twice to prove things were okay.

An hour later, Chiara's pointed ears twitched. She could finally hear her mom drifting off to sleep through the floors. It was finally time to meet Jess outside. The barricaded door would be a difficult challenge for her beast if her beast ever wanted to escape. It was early that Chiara’s parents realized that if they had enough meat in the basement before-hand, Chiara’s beast would be satiated. Chiara’s beast wasn’t as intelligent as herself obviously, and easily forgets things Chiara knew already. Like the bar over the door could be raised through the crack between the door and the frame.

Sticking her lengthened nail through the small slit, Chiara flipped the latch over, letting herself free. Climbing the steps up towards the door to her house, Chiara continued to listen to her parent's gentle breathing, being sure to not wake them despite the overwhelming noise each step underneath her seemed to emit through her enhanced ears. She slowly opened the door, and gasped at the moonlight streaming through the curtains of the windows. The nights she wasn't changed, and got up late for water or the bathroom were always dark and scary, but now the small fragments of light making their way inside were enough for Chiara to see almost like it was mid-day. Making her way through her own house was strange to say the least, everything seemed smaller than how she remembered it. It reminded her of when sometimes her dad would sit her on his shoulders. ‘I bet Jess would love being this high! Dad always gets tired with me on his shoulders, but I won’t with Jess!’ With more excitement, she raced out the backdoor, and saw Jess lying on a blanket in the middle of their backyard, looking at the full moon and the stars.

“Jess!” Chiara barked while unlocking and opening her back door, hurrying to meet her best friend. Jess snapped her head towards Chiara, and to Chiara’s confusion, Jess wasn’t smiling. “Jess, what’s wrong?” Chiara asked, moving out from the shadows and into the moonlight before her friend. “AAAAHHH!!” Jess shrieked, stumbling and fumbling as she ran to her house. Chiara could hear her parents waking up, and the fear of getting into trouble forced her to run into the large public park that sat adjacent to her backyard.

***

A small break in Chiara’s explanation took the image from my mind, leaving only the silver haired girl, hanging her head before me. “My mom and dad found me in the woods the next day… Turns out Jess couldn’t accept me after all… Not that I blame her... Since my dad works in the ministry as an Obliviator, he removed Jess and her family's memories of us… They moved away to America not long after…” With one last long sigh, Chiara finally met my eyes again. Hers were still glistening, clearly still holding back tears.

Before I could think better of it, I wrapped my arms around Chiara, pulling her into a tight hug. “I’m sorry.” I muttered, not knowing what else I could say. I could feel Chiara’s face in the crook of my neck nod, taking sharp breaths to stop her nose from leaking. “But I’ll still talk to Everyone, about what I am.” She mumbled into my chest, giving me pause until I remembered what our conversation was first about. “What? Why?” Still holding her shoulders, I leaned back, only now noticing she had grasped onto the back of my robes as well, both of us holding the other in embrace.

Chiara’s saddened expression morphed into a calming smile that filled me with unease, unable to understand how she could look so peaceful while speaking about revealing the most important secret one could have as a wizard. “Because…” She started, taking a second to gather her words before continuing. “Because, you're scared of telling Pansy what you are. You should tell her, but you shouldn't have to be alone. I’ll also take that step with you.” I could only stare in awe at her. My chest swelling with happiness at the sheer compassion she held in her surprisingly conviction filled eyes, making me wonder if she still had some traces of her beast that filled her with confidence. “You- You ca- After what you went through?” I stuttered, shaking my head at her reckless decision.

Chiara nodded at me, her hope filled smile growing, along with her grip on my robes. “Yes… I’m scared, I think they’ll accept me but-” She halted her words, gulping to keep her composure as she continued. “But if they don’t… I still have Hermione.” Chiara’s words rang in my heart, and I was left reminded that Chiara and Hermione were together. “I still have…” Chiara slowly continued, stopping her last words while looking deep into my eyes, grasping tighter on my robes, subconsciously not wanting me to move away. She slowly stood on her toes, gaining some height while her lips drew ever closer to mine.

My head slowly descended to match her, but Chiara quickly darted her head over my shoulder, tightening our hug for a moment before letting go. Taking off towards the school; Chiara left me alone stupefied in the grove. Luna’s words on our first night together playing in my mind as I watched her embarrassed run. ‘I spoke with Chiara… She has problems being monogamous too…’ A flame of hope kindled within me, before shame overtook it. “Damn…” I swore under my breath, knowing I didn’t even have the right to blame my lust for my wavering; my heart stretching itself between 4 girls.