11. The Price of Failure

“If you fight, you’ll die.” That’s the last thing I say to Haku when they leave after our tryst. I didn’t explain my prescience, but it wouldn’t have mattered.

They just smile and turn away.

I’m starting to worry about ‘the butterfly effect.’ Not the movie. Yes, I’ve affected Tenten, Kiba, and Hinata to some extent. Do I think Kiba losing his virginity will result in him defeating Naruto in the Chunin preliminary matches?

Not a chance, no.

But hypothetically… if Naruto didn’t get to fight Neji because of that, would Sasuke cease to consider Naruto his rival? Would Sasuke, not being driven by inadequacy, refuse Orochimaru’s offer and thus break the ‘story?’

That’s not a likely course of events, but my interfering with Haku is more concerning. I shouldn’t underestimate Haku’s impact on Naruto! While I’ve trusted events to stay on track so far, I might be missing something. I decide I need to see this with my own eyes.

It’s the climactic battle of the arc where the Demon of the Hidden Mists tries to kill the bridge builder for the second time. Naruto is late, as expected, Sakura stands back protecting the bridge builder Tazuna, Kakashi fights the mercenary swordsman Zabuza, and Sasuke fights Haku the Ice and needle user. Nothing unforeseen. Everything is proceeding toward the inevitable conclusion of Haku and Zabuza’s deaths.

Sasuke throws a great fireball at one of the ice mirrors surrounding him. To his surprise and disappointment, the flames fail to melt the frozen water. Yep, that’s Ice Release for you. Haku proceeds to stick him full of needles like a pincushion.

Should I have changed more? The question irks me.

What if I saved Haku? Kakashi would kill Zabuza. Then what? Would Haku ever emotionally recover? I’d seen enough time-travel movies to know all my efforts would be undone if Haku decided to commit s**cide and follow Zabuza to the afterlife. I can’t replace Zabuza in Haku’s heart because they aren’t attracted to women.

Could I save Haku and Zabuza? Then Zabuza would kill Kakashi, and the story would be fucked. Protect everyone? I’d thought Haku was an +S-rank seduction, but keeping everyone safe in this scenario is easily an SSS-rank mission!

Naruto bursts onto the scene and enters Haku’s ice mirror field.

I’m not strong enough to change the plot, let alone make a difference in this fight! My Dweller from Haku’s bloodline isn’t even close to ready. Maybe if I’d taken out that smuggler Gato… but me alone versus all those thugs? And Gato would’ve sent Zabuza after me if I’d tried it…

Sasuke faints from taking too many of Haku’s needles and Naruto uses the Nine-Tails chakra.

I’m running out of time and I’m both weeks late and months early to interfere in a Jonin battle, let alone subdue Haku with my insects—the cold-blooded invertebrates vulnerable to freezing temperatures.

After breaking Haku’s ice mirrors and mask, Naruto confronts them verbally but is unable to resolve things peacefully. That’s right, this is the first time Naruto’s talk-no-jutsu fails! For all I know, it’s this failure that fuels his passion in the future and allows his strongest technique (yes, it’s talk-no-jutsu) to succeed so often.

Do I have the right to take away Haku’s choice? To deny Naruto’s motivation?

Kakashi uses the lightning jutsu, Chidori, and goes in for the kill on Zabuza. Haku sacrifices themselves to protect Zabuza and is stabbed through the chest.

I’m too late.

“Shino-chan, what are you doing here?” Kakashi asks as I approach.

I take Haku from Kakashi, allowing the Jonin to defend himself from Zabuza. I staunch the blood from the massive torso wound as best I can and give them mouth-to-mouth. Haku regains consciousness for a few precious last seconds.

“Haku-chan, I’m carrying your child.” (True in a sense.) Kakashi and Zabuza’s eyes bulge. “What do you want them named?”

They cough blood. “I don’t care what they’re named as long as they’re loved.”

I should’ve known.

Haku dies in my arms, and I start to cry.

The great sex we had, the cute trap I could’ve added to my harem, the amazing orgies there could’ve been, all those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. I swear on my last breath! I’ll never let this happen again. No matter the cost, I will protect all the cute Ninjas in the Naruto universe!

Regretfully, I leave Haku’s body behind. They still have a role to play in that shithead Gato’s death and my mission isn’t over.

Get it together, Shino. You can’t let this opportunity slip!

I find Sakura crying over Sasuke’s limp form.

“Shino-chan?”

Snapping out of my funk, I clear my mind (there’ll be time for mourning later), get into character, and say, “Out of the way, I have medical training and healing herbs!” I shove Sakura aside and inspect Sasuke’s wounds. I’m just in the nick of time.

I stealthily karate-chop Sasuke’s neck as he awakens from Haku’s death-faking acupuncture technique, causing him to faint again.

I pretend to check his pulse, then turn to Sakura before she opens her mouth, “He’s alive! I’ll get him away from the battlefield for treatment while you finish the mission! Protect Tazuna. Tell Naruto and Kakashi that Sasuke is fine. We’ll regroup afterward.”

Unbelievably, Sakura follows directions. She’s too mentally rattled to notice my covert movements or stop to question why I’m here. At least this part is going according to plan.

While I escape, Zabuza turns on Gato in his grief and rage at Haku’s death, slaughtering the smuggler’s minions and the shipping magnate before succumbing to hundreds of wounds. Kakashi and Naruto are too busy watching the tragedy to see what I’m up to.

I’ve previously called Sasuke an A-rank seduction. That’s because of his personality and Sharingan. The chances of him noticing my Pheromones and becoming hostile are higher than the average target. However, there are two times early in the Anime when Sasuke is too weak to use Sharingan (Bringing him down from A-rank to -B-rank).

After being bitten by Orochimaru, and now.