90.6 Shino’s Movie Marathon 1: Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow, Part 4 (Sakura)
We have a meeting with the film crew and Princess Koyuki to discuss our plans. It seems Dotou wants the princess’s crystal necklace to unlock the Land of Snow’s ‘treasure,’ whatever that is. Everything rightfully belongs to Koyuki, but Uncle Dotou had her father assassinated in a coup when she was a child. Kakashi is the Hidden Leaf ninja who helped her escape at that time…
Her manager begs Koyuki to retake her proper place as leader of the country after we depose Dotou, but she starts talking about how she doesn’t give a crap anymore. “Ever since that day, my tears have dried up,” the Princess says with a wan expression.
The man literally begs her with a dogeza bow. “Kazahana-sama, you must return to the Land of Snow and overthrow your uncle Dotou! I’ll protect you with my life, so please, fight with us!”
“Don’t confuse fiction and reality. This isn’t a movie, there are no happy endings.”
Sheesh, who shat on her onigiri? Getting orphaned at a young age isn’t an excuse to be an asshole; just look at Naruko. But, as Kakashi points out, it’s not like Dotou will let us go at this point, so it’s not like there’s any choice to be made here.
We split up to do our final preparations for the coming battles.
A few hours later, I hear Sasuke screaming in the bathroom. Concerned, Kakashi, Naruto, Naruko, and I approach and knock on the door.
“Sasuke-kun, are you alright in there, dattebayo?” Naruto asks with palpable concern.
“Blood! There’s blood everywhere! How can there be so much blood!?! And why does it hurt like I just got sucker-punched in the gut?”
I get a sinking feeling. “Sasuke-kun, did you take that pill Shino-chan gave Naruto-kun?”
“Y-yes,” Sasuke says, sounding rattled. “A few weeks ago, why?”
“I think… you’re having your first… period.”
““…””
“It seems you have this well in hand,” Kakashi announces as he Body Flickers away in a puff of smoke. “Bye~”
Naruto looks stricken at the mention of the forbidden word, but Naruko looks down at her tummy as if betrayed.
“Guys, come on, it’s not that big a deal.” I insist. “You can borrow my pads if you want,” I even offer, but Sasuke is having none of it.
“FUUUUUUCK!!!”