Chapter 1: The Doctor Is In

---D-Day+233, Reruic(Xuyue) 13th, Thursday(Qiri) Afternoon---

---Beyulongong---

“Taiyiii!”

We got a screamer!

Yes, I’m back in my cave palace. The top third of this sect’s complex is so far up the mountain that it's basically vertical. So, from the outside, the upper ward’s buildings look like the chinese “Hanging Temple.” Dozens are dotted across the east flank of Mount Yuxue’s1Jade Snow peak.

*fwop* *fwap* *fwop*

Most of the shag pad I was given for joining as a core disciple is actually behind the precariously perched colorfully painted wood beams, stone columns, and clay tiles. Carved out of the mountain itself over thousands of years.

*pant* “Harder!”

Some of the cliff pagodas are even covered in green ice and snow year round. Since they are above the snowline. Fortunately my place isn’t that high up. Below the often cloud shrouded peak but above the treeline.

Yeah, the view is fucking outstanding.

“I… I’m!”

The stairs, paths, and bridges connecting them together are partially chiseled into the rock face and do not include handrails. Even without a fear of heights your sphincter will pucker enough to turn coal into diamonds. Thank god the mountain itself is also riddled with tunnels.

“Aiyee!”

*sploosh*

There she blows!

Of course I’m fucking. I am an imperially licensed doctor. Which I’ve learned is actually a thing. That I am. So this doctor? Is in. … Yeah, that sounded cooler in my head.

*spurt* *shlurp*

Vitamin D? Injected. … Yeah, that sounded cooler in my head too.

Anyways, the Emperor of Yangxu is almost ready to ascend. No shit, become an honest to god “immortal.” So he wants to keep my [Recovery Magic] close by in case something goes wrong. But I’m still hunting for the Allfather. Who supposedly can keep my son from getting isekaied.

I think.

Well, I don't know. Some of the leads seem pretty shady. Or too, you know, convenient. But I’ve got to do something. Keep moving forward. So, here I am. Starring in Dr Dude: Medicine Dick.

““[Aid of Ourai]””

Oda and Sim each whisper, in stereo, one of my spells into the ears of the loud, sweaty, shuddering, blissed out cultivatorette beneath me. Their arcane words give her spirit an extra boost. Aiming, along with my super charged semen, to push her over the, hehe, hump in her cultivation.

Damn, Odaline and Simone. Months ago the two were teachers at Stormgarde Academy. And had been turned into sex slaves by a fellow teacher using a [Charm Magic] artifact. Oda was even engaged to marry the bastard. Me exposing the douchebag not only shattered the spell. But also socially destroyed them plus deep-sixed their careers.

Sim’s husband divorced her and left town. Taking their kids with him.

Both ladies were heartbroken. Lost. Latching onto me like a lifeline. Their shared trauma also created a strange bond though. Like sharing the same brain. Causing them to often speak in stereo. Plus forging an odd connection to me.

Yeah, I can channel my spells through them. Linking the three of us together and enhancing my [Recovery Magic]. This effect became even stronger after they merged with Margo and Ferra. Living shadows I raised from two of Metia’s oracles after the church ambushed me in a dungeon.

When they change into “half-deads?” They look like freaking angels. Feathery wings and everything. Well, honestly, more like the corpses of angels but angels nonetheless.

“Taiyi?” *squeeze* “More?”

Awe, isn’t that sweet. The long haired middle aged looking yanese lady wants another dose. Wrapping her legs around my waist and proving she kegels. A lot.

*muah* *chu*

A deep kiss with a strong thrust is all the proof daoist-ess needs to know that she’s not ready for another round. So, poutingly, inner disciple whatsername releases my dick and hips.

Whatsername?

Oh, yeah, have no fucking clue what her name is. I now see a couple patients a day a few days a week. Sometimes guys. Sometimes gals. No, I don’t fuck the guys you sickos. In fact, don’t fuck most the women either. Lurch's alchemy lessons and the sect library have been very helpful. So don't need to sex them up anymore.

I'm now Doctor Cultivation, patent pending. [Recovery Magic] and [Mana Manipulation] letting me rival the best daoist medicine quacks.

So I only need dual-cultivation for the ladies with severe xiandao2immortal way roadblocks. Using my yang to blast through. Which wouldn't do guys any good even if I was light in the loafers. It's the yang and yin thing which makes dual-cultivating work. So yin on yin or yang on yang doesn’t work anywhere near as well.

This inner disciple chick got stuck. Really stuck. Fortunately she’s from a rich clan with enough connections and favors to get an appointment with me. A tidy little pile of lingshi3spirit stones later. Plus a final, “is she hot?” check. And them boots get knocking.

Yes, I know that sounds horrible. But I ain't taking another one for the team. I'm stuck in medieval land looking for a god that might control whether my youngest gets dragged to this shithole too, or not. I've made enough fucking sacrifices already, thank you very much.

Besides, mana, called qi over here, has an “enhancing” effect. Means the ladies tend to get better looking the more they cultivate. But there have definitely been some, ew, exceptions.

I pull out, roll off the bed, and tell her. “Take two and don't call me in the morning.” Sim and Oda each hand her a pill, ones I made, while waiting maids rush in. Stripping off my now soaked robes and guiding me out of the hot humid traditional chinese looking bedroom that now reeks of sex.

All of the rooms in my four courtyard cave palace are warm and muggy. Heated by the same geothermal vents that create the hot springs and waterfalls sprinkled across Jade Snow’s rocky slopes. And lit by sunbeams shooting down through its cracked peak. Sending natural light deep into the mountain through the clever use of technology like deck prisms.

Naturally you flash freeze every time you step out of the damp caves. We're miles up. But cultivation makes you a lot more resilient to things like temperature changes. So no worries about getting the flu.

Still feels freaking cold though.

“Great Lady, please let this humble one-” Other maids blathering praise help whatsername get up, clean up, and dress up. While my two assistants guide her in cultivating correctly. Would be a waste to let all that qi filled seed just drain away. Miss Guest will stay in the room for another hour. Before reuniting with her waiting posse outside and heading back down the mountain.

She's just a neimen dizi. So doesn’t have the rank to get a house in this neighborhood no matter how rich her family is. Instead she'll have a place in the middle ward of the sect complex. Back below the treeline. Don't feel bad though. Whatsername has a nice courtyard home all to herself.

Well, except for any servants who live there plus her most favored cronies. Most outer disciples share quarters in the lower ward. Each only getting a small room to themselves. So there's lots of competition to become an inner or core disciple’s favorite.

It's considered inappropriate for disciples to live with elders. Yes, even the ones the old perverts and pervettes are fucking.

“Xianjun4Immortal Lord,” one of the maids is bowing down and sucking up as she leads me to a bathroom, “your bath is drawn and medicinal herbs added.” She actually rambles a lot more than that. Without actually saying anything. Mostly just empty praise. Which I’ve learned to autotune out.

She opens the next door to reveal a smaller room with a big teak tub in the middle. A menthol smell reminding me of vicks vaporub fills the steamy air. Caused by the various herbs that’ve been stirred into the hot mineral water. Several maids wait behind the tub with brushes, soaps, and cloth.

They’ll make sure to clean every nook and cranny.

*wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*

*splish*

“Ah~~ that hits the spot.”

Within a minute I've been disrobed and slip into the hot water. Sitting on a bench in the tub. The servants give me a few minutes to just soak. Before they gently and slowly start wiping and scrubbing, well, everything.

A couple get naked and climb into the tub with me. Soon going under. Yeah, they are cleaning everything.

Oh, yeah, baby. It is indeed good to be the king.

*clack*

“Husband!” A very pregnant Red waddles through the opening door. “He's kicking!” The head of my harem is dressed up in her xianxia best. Thin red and white silk robes show lots of skin. Including a big baby belly

Edelys Barton. A knight who, by tourinese law, is my “first” wife. Originally assigned to be a bodyguard and minder by Marquis Lianlaf. She quickly fell in love with me and really wanted a baby. So I knocked her up.

Yeah, that was pretty stupid of me but she really wanted a mini-me and I like being a dad. No, I'm not the best at it. “If you can dodge a wrench? You can dodge a ball.” But I try. And honestly don't know if I'll ever get home again. So, why not let them make me happy?

Not being the best with names, I’ve made up some that are easier for me to remember. Like Edy, Edel, Knight-wife, or Red, because of her hair color.

Pregger’s is being escorted. “Darling, be careful.” And my earth wife called me a worry wart. “Don’t get a splinter.” Helicopter girlfriending. “You should lie down. Rest.”

Misses nagging nancy is Alote Barton. Once Alote Chastel, a duke’s daughter, she had the misfortune to be born “manaless.” Meaning she couldn’t use magic, like, at all. Though thanks to being a noble, she still dominated the social scene at Stormgarde back when she attended.

Tragically, after graduation, she contracted leprosy. Causing her simp to try to capture me in a scheme to force me to cure her. While it failed, I ended up curing her anyway. In the process it also cured her manaless condition too. Letting her become a powerful mage.

This new lease on life gave Blue the courage to finally confess her love to Edelys. While happily becoming my sex toy too. And as long as a relationship is happy and healthy? I have no issue with it. So Alote Chastel soon became Alote Barton. Wife number three. Also known as Aly, Mage-wife, or Blue, because of her eye color.

“Edelys, listen to your sister-wife.” Mage-wife has help protecting Knight-wife from, well, everything. “Please slow down. Your water might break.”

The mother hen is being helped by her own mother hen, Melicente Chastel. The former duchess of Trosseria, a duchy in Tourin. Her husband tried to take Blue from me after discovering his daughter was no longer manaless. Which soon made his wife a widow.

Unlike her 22 year old daughter and daughter’s girlfriend. Mel’s pushing 50 and is very milf-ilicious. Her curvaceous 5’4” E-cups putting both Red’s fit 6’2” D-cups and Blue’s slim 5’5” B-cups in their place. In fact, the two shorties herding my tall Knight-wife around is always entertaining to watch.

My first wife also being her daughter’s, uh, wife, has made Melicente decide that Red’s baby is her grandbaby. Causing the ex-duchess to split her mother henning between Edelys and Luliene. The 27 year old 5’2” G-cups nubian hottie is her oldest’s widowed slave-wife. Who… I’ve also knocked up.

No, I didn’t kill him. At least I don’t think I did. Hey, I kill a lot of people. After a while it gets hard to keep track. Besides, this is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue about who killed who.

Oh, right, keep in mind that both Mel and Lula are technically mistresses. Not considered wives nor concubines. Which matters in both tourinese and yanese law. No, I don’t get all the legal mumbo jumbo. I just fuck em. A lot.

You know, maybe I should write some programs to help everyone? Print flyers? Transcribe-

“Can you feel him kicking, m-my husband?” Knight-wife is so cute the way she still blushes when saying hubby.

Even after climbing into this hot tub. A major operation requiring several maids' assistance. With all the steam. Flushed skin. Plus the feel of my rod getting her hot and bothered as she stands over me. Somehow, Edel still blushes even more when claiming me out loud.

I lean forward.

*bump* *bump*

“Yeah, I feel it, love.” Yep, grinning like a fool with a palm and ear against Red’s ballooning tummy. While she’s practically glowing. Turn and talk to my bambino. “You be a good boy, you hear? Daddy will be meeting you soon.”

Knight-wife’s breathing turns ragged and panting as she gazes down at me. Her swollen D+cups begin leaking as she whispers lustfully. “My lord, are you thirsty?”

Wow, suds and snacks?

Yummy.