Volume 5 Introduction: Sects
My fingers feel the roughness of the guitar strings.
♪ D, Em, G, D, Em, G ♪
The hum of mana flowing through them.
♫ “He was born in the summer of his twenty-seventh year. Coming home to a place he’d never been before. He left yesterday behind him, you could say he was born again. You might say he found the key to every door.”1Rocky Mountain High - John Denver♫
*chop* *saw*
A brisk breeze accompanies the sounds of John Denver and carpentry. We’re next to a campfire on the flanks of a mountain. Scattered pine trees surround us as dozens of blue robed Waiwei Dizi2Outer Disciples continue repairs on the outpost below. A fantasy xianxia looking structure like all the other buildings I’ve seen in this country. Basically, medieval china on steroids.
A small valley stretches out below us. Ending in a vibrantly blue lake. Whites of the snow capped peaks. Grays of the rocky slopes and cliffs. Greens of the forest, shrubs and grasses. Browns of dirt and mud. Some trees have already changed to red, orange, or yellow as we get deeper into fall. Sun high without a cloud in the sky. Pine scents hang in the crisp air as the crew shaves and cuts fresh wood.
It's… fucking beautiful.
A couple of Neimen Dizi3Inner Disciples also in blue robes, are guiding the herd. Visually, you can tell the difference by their bling. What's been added to the outfit. Sashes, embroidering, dyeing, printing, that sort of thing. For the outer guys not much is added and it's in greens. For the inner guys there's more but using reds. Since I’m a Hexin Dizi4Core Disciple I have the most bedazzling. In yellow colors.
I’ve been in this world for eight months and still not used to the absence of mass production. The rule of plastic. Oh, there are sweatshops. But its tiny scale compared to the global monopolies of Earth.
Because of this, no two disciples here are dressed exactly the same. Which comes down to their wealth. An outer disciple from a rich clan will be clearly dressed better than one from a poor clan. Finer material, tighter weaves, stitching, better dyes, etc, etc…
The poorest wear flax. Linen. The richest, silk. Most, though, have cotton clothing.
However, even the richest outer disciple's robes will not have more decoration than the poorest inner disciple’s. It's considered disrespectful and can actually get them killed. Or at least severely beaten. Yes, a young master outer disciple may look ten times better. But his clothing will never have more bling than an orphaned inner disciple.
Just another unwritten rule in “face” and status obsessed Luyan.
“What are you doing?!” A blue red is screaming at a blue green. “Was your father a dog? This grandfather will show you the right way! Again!”
Gotta admit. Never thought a xianxia sect would remind me of army basic training. An inner disciple is berating an outer disciple who screwed something up. Only a few in this crew actually have experience with woodworking. So they are showing the rest what to do.
*crash*
It’s not going too well.
*crack*
Again.
[Shadowsight] reveals two outer disciples hiding in the treeline. [Super Senses] eavesdrops on them.
“Hey.”
“Yeah?”
“You ever wonder why we’re here?”
“It’s one of life’s great mysteries isn’t it. Why are we here? Are we the product of some-” Ugh, slackers slacking. Some things are truly universal.
*point*
A slight tug with my qi gets an inner disciple’s attention and aims him their way. Whoa now, don’t blame me. This is my expedition and the sooner it gets done? The sooner I can get back to my cave palace. Where a very pregnant Red and mostly pregnant Lula are waiting.
Knight-wife’s only got five or six weeks left before she pops. While Mocha Momma still has around fifteen weeks, I think. On sabbatical, in Granya, Frosty should have another thirteen or fourteen weeks to go. And the Tourin eight, who got knocked up when I roofied myself by curing Blue’s leprosy. Should start popping in six or seven weeks.
Still waiting on “healers” from the all-girl Lanxuejiao5Blue Snow Cult, promised by Qiao Zhi, to arrive. She’s sure they can restore Frankie’s fertility. My own research in the Beyulongong6North Jade Dragon Palace has come up with some possibilities. But no actual techniques or medicines yet.
My undead and golems are protecting the harem back at the sect. But their freedom is more limited here compared to back across the ocean. Especially for the living shadows. Defensive formations are much more common in Yangxu than in Tourin. So sending them out to scout and scour the countryside like nazgul? More trouble than it's worth.
Of course they still make great watchdogs and bodyguards. My living shadows being able to hide in other’s shadows has come in handy before. But like with medicine. The yanese7fantasy medieval chinese are simply more advanced than the tourinese8fantasy medieval french when it comes to the undead. So are better prepared to defend against them.
Of course I can also feel the wives and concubines through the Blacksky Coil Rings9Volume 1 chapter 26b we wear. Not really telepathy. More like an empathic link.
Wow.
Am I, uh, getting too paranoid? Isn’t this nuts? Maybe I sh- “Master?” A humble request from the left. “May I share your burden?”
Sigh, guess she noticed the troubled expression. My attentive godbeast cult leader priest-wife gazes at me with purple eyes full of worship and praise. Her long white hair complimenting dark grey skin half-tourinese and half-dark-elf looks. Five feet of hourglass body with G-cup breasts squeezed into a purple silk hanfu.
Sometimes I’m amazed that girl can even walk.
“Ha!” A not so humble reply from the right. “There is nothing to share, sister Ushinua.” Waves dismissively. “Jon-kun is just tired of this foolish mission.”
Hitomi’s amber eyes are much more mischievous. Her half-japanese half-dark-elf looks, with short black hair, are every bit as sexy as Frankie’s. Though her slim five feet two inches and D-cups are wrapped in black silk instead of purple. Ninja-wife is also dressed more like a, well, ninja. Wearing trousers instead of the long skirt.
And she’s not wrong. I am tired of this. Bored. The viking attack happened a week ago. And I’ve spent the last four days traveling from outpost to outpost in the mountains behind the sect. Leading a wagon train of supplies over ancient carved out roads. Restocking and repairing these little forts for winter.
Each is basically just a fortified courtyard house, siheyuan. Normally manned by a couple outer disciples and a few “civilian” guards and servants. Placed in or near a village. This one’s neighbors are further down the slope. A couple dozen huts of goat herders and hunters protected by a stockade.
Once the snows start they can be cut off from the outside world for months. So, yeah, making sure they are in tip top shape before winter? Kind of important.
But why do I have to do it?
Because I was “voluntold” too. Sects have a lot less freedom than those xianxia stories say. Especially for the poor greens. Bossed around by inner disciples, core disciples, outer elders, and inner elders. Hell, even other outer disciples with more seniority will order them around.
The North Jade Dragon Palace is basically a town in itself with thousands of disciples and thousands of non-cultivator employees. And that’s not counting the “sect town,” Jade Snow City, beneath it. Which has almost a hundred thousand more “regular” folks. Many of whom support the sect in one way or another. While the rest support them.
Keeping a sect functioning is a hell of a lot of work. And if a cultivator isn’t doing it themselves? He, or she, is in charge of it getting done. So, yeah, there's no mission board here with flyers, posters, and such for merit points like you read in the webnovels. The elders each have their own responsibilities. Who tell their disciples to take care of it. And if that told disciple has enough seniority? That disciple then tells other disciples to do it.
Commissions do come in from outside the sect. But those are discussed then assigned to disciples by the relevant elders.
In this case, the pre-winter checkups are an important annual event. So the elders involved, there is overlap, met and decided which inner disciples to send. Those inner disciples then find some cannon fod-, I mean capable subordinates, to take along.
Doesn't matter what world you're in. Shit rolls downhill.
Then why am I here?
Core disciples are usually exempt from this basic shit. We are direct disciples, apprentices, assistants, whatever, of Lao10Elders. So kind of outside the normal elder-disciple chain of command. That counts doubly so for those with special statuses like me. Being a Taiyi11imperial physician, thanks to my [Recovery Magic], and part of Yangxu's imperial court.
However, monty python’s singing northmen assassins, hairier knights of the round table with less dancing and more stabbing, did a surprising amount of damage. Killing dozens of disciples and injuring hundreds more. Including several elders.
Interrogating the few captured, revealed the king of Lustonia was behind it. And that an even bigger attack is coming. Sparking quite the outrage and an immediate search for a scapegoat.
Scapegoat?
Well, duh, the folks responsible for keeping what happened from happening? Certainly don’t want to actually be held responsible for it. So “Scape Trek III: The Search for Goat” was on! Lurch, that squeaky voice elf grandmaster alchemist elder who declared I was his apprentice. Decided it would be best if I got out of town for a while.
And my ladies agreed. Helping him talk me into it. So at the last minute I was put in charge of this back mountain outpost expedition. Dozens of outer disciples. Dozens of guards, scouts, servants, porters, guides, and wagon drivers. A couple of inner disciples. And a handful of haremites. On a National Lampoon's Vacation level road trip.
It's a miracle we've been able to do four outposts in as many days. And this is our last one. We'll spend the night here and head back tomorrow.
*crash*
Sigh. If these morons don't destroy the entire fucking mountain first!
“Junior brother Chao?” Inner Disciple Bu runs over to the latest disaster. “What in the eternal void are you doing?!”
After days of bingeing “Gomer Pyle - USMC,” the cultivator edition. My inner peace is about peaced out. Fortunately I’ve got my ladies to keep me distracted. Been joining the mile-high club multiple times a day. Got enough frequent fucker miles to fly to bangkok, first class.
This has also let me review, again, this sect stuff.
“So, the kingd-, I mean empire, has three departments and six ministries. But the sects only have eight halls?” Yes, I’ve probably been told this before but forgot. Hey, it's a lot to remember and I don’t actually care. But I’m bored and the yanese really don’t like PDA’s12Public Displays of Affection. So it's this or fondle Frankie under her robe again.
Yeah, the fondling is more fun but her moaning distracts the disciples. Causing them to screw up even more! Thank god cultivating makes them tougher. Or lots of these guys would be missing limbs. So, it's Sect 101 again!
“Yes, xingan.” Little Li likes to call me that. It means heart and liver in yanese. Livers are considered a vital organ in fantasy china for some reason. Meaning it's a nickname given to lovers.
Princess Tiang Li Zexi, remember last name first for yanese, is one of the Yangxu’s emperor’s daughters and only 5’3”. Her dark brown eyes and very long black hair is pinned up into buns. Fair skin, yanese looks, and C-cup breasts are cute as hell in a blue yellow outfit sitting across from me around our campfire.
Her sister from another mother, Big Ji, that we rescued from under Stormgarde, patiently chimes in. “Dashi,” great master in yanese, “the eight halls are the Hall of Books, of Fighting, of Righteousness, of Treasury, of Crafts, of Alchemy, of Formations, and of Beasts.”
Yeah, she’s probably told me this before. And will probably be telling me again. But the smile on her face isn’t a mocking one. Wait, is she treating me like I’m her sugar daddy? Needing help remembering what pills to take? What offspring to write out of the will?
Hmm… She might need another paddling. With my weiner.
“But who does the paperwork in the sect like those, uh, whatchamacallits?”
“Eunuchs, xingan?” My little china girl is fluent in gibberish to yanase.
“Yeah, the dickless.” Don’t think I’ve asked this before because just thinking about all your junk getting chopped off grosses me out. “The emperor has a whole department of them, right?” Look at me, remembering shit and stuff.
Tiang Ji Ping, sitting next to her sister Li, clarifies. “Huanguan serve in many departments and ministries, dashi. Sects also have secretariats.” Her amber eyes twinkle. “But they are much smaller and considered offices under the Sect Leader. Not separate departments.”
We are sitting around a campfire a little up slope from the outpost. Looking down on the crew unloading wagons, chopping down trees, carving them up and replacing broken or worn out parts of the little fort. Even with the oopsies they are making good time. Should be done in a couple more hours. What they lack in skill they make up for in muscle and endurance.
Like with the previous stops, a couple daoists and a few regular joes are replacing the guys who have been here for a year. They don’t look happy about it, who would be, but that’s sect life for yah. ‘Phenomenal cosmic powers! Itty bitty living space.’ Or in this case. ‘I gotta do what now?’
“So are there a lot of eunuch kung fu guys too, like Lurch?” Yeah, that’s not a respectful name to call the guy calling me his “heir.” But that’s what he kind of looks like. Lurch from the Addams Family. If you made him part elf. Skinnier too. Hey, gimme a break. I’m bad with names.
“Please, xingan.” Little Li actually looks around to see if anyone else is nearby before continuing in a whisper. “Grandmaster Alchemist Qinxin Methil Alre Heiris,” last name still first, “is an exception. Most huanguan have great difficulty cultivating because their yang is damaged.”
Well, that’s one way to put it. Got their yang, hehe, yanked off is another. Now I’m interested though. “So what makes Lur-,” Li pouts, “fine, Elder Qinxin so special?” Yes, I rolled my eyes while saying that.
Big Ji also looks around before whispering conspiratorially. “Because Grandmaster Qinxin practices the Kuihua Baodian.”
“The hee haw what?” Yeah, I speak yanese passably. But it's a very wordy language. So get lost when the conversation gets too far into the weeds.
Now I don't know what they said. But Hitomi clearly did. Covering her mouth and turning a little green as she exclaims, “Chikusho, that’s real?!” Only to get shushed by the princess sisters as a couple of disciples look our way curiously.
Me, still clueless, mutters back. “What’s real?”
Little Li scowls at the eavesdroppers. Who quickly move further away. “Xingan, it's the Sunflower Manual.” See’s I’m still lost. “The Kuihua Baodian is a powerful ancient cultivation art. More complete versions include their own martial and movement techniques as well.”
Well that actually sounds kind of badass. “So…” Maybe guys can just tuck it under or something? ‘It rubs the lotion on its skin.’
Ew.
Little china girl clearly doesn’t want to spill the beans, so her older sister finally does. “Dashi, the first step in the Sunflower Manual requires practitioners to,” looks around again, “castrate themselves.” Notices how big my eyes are getting. Slowly nods to intercept my incoming ‘seriously?’ and ‘themselves?!’
…
…
What. The. Fuck?
Well, yeah, I get it. Eunuch hopefuls get their tenders torn off. Like a circumcision, ‘Whoops! I cut off the rest of your dick, and balls, too. My bad.’ Which strongly implies you are too young to know what's happening. And that a professional is doing the slicing and dicing. But to have to do it yourself?
That’s just fucking evil.
“Xingan, there is more.” Oh, can’t wait to hear it. Yes I’m being sarcastic! “There is a vast market for xian gongfa13immortal arts. So there are many, um, fakes. Forgeries. To be found.”
Holy shit.
Well, screw lab accidents. Axing off your privates. Then finding out that cultivation art you bought doesn’t actually cultivate? That’s, like, instant supervillain.
“So does Lurch use, uh, the real one?”
The snap crackle pop of the fire is the only sound. Well, besides the sawing and cursing further down the hill. Finally, Ji speaks.
“It is considered rude, and dangerous, to ask, dashi.” I imagine it is. “Many arts, or at least parts of them, were lost during the War of Two Princes. Now, a thousand years later, many sect Shuting14Hall of Books have arts that are incomplete or include parts that are Weizao15forgeries.” Lets out a long sigh. “Admitting you have spent years on a technique or exercise that will never work? May cause a great loss of face.”
Now wait a minute. “But it's been a millenia. Shouldn’t the fakes have all been found out by now?”
Little Li looks a little embarrassed. “Forgeries are regularly discovered and removed by elders, xingan. However, every empire and sect is always searching for lost arts, techniques, exercises, recipes, spells, artifacts and other remnants of Luyan’s golden age.” Growls. “While scoundrels constantly try to rob those seekers of their taels and crystals.”
The conversation dies off as we all somberly enjoy our tea. Well, they enjoy their tea. Not a fan of warm dirt water myself but, you know, when in rome…
Maybe the too tall dickless elf has a good version of that sunflower thing. But if he had the superman cheat codes. Why bother with alchemy?
Hmm…
Jesus, kind of feel sorry for Lurch now. Discovering tofu screws, bolts and nuts was bad enough. Failing out of the blue because they were, well, shit. But to throw away your own screw and nuts. Then find out your kung fu is tofu too?
…
Fuck.
That.