Chapter 33: Making the Deal
"Alright Nigs. This is as private as it gets. Speak."
The Q&A about today is done. Frosty, Milti, Juri, Luvine, and others, gone to help Hitomi move. Everyone else? Gone. So the thieves guild rep and I are, 'alone.'
Well, if you count three wives, three concubines, two mistresses, one butler, one boss maid, one earth elemental, and a dozen plus undead, as alone? Its downright intimate. Sent the maids to take a break in their quarters on the sixth floor.
Sigh.
I was a big believer in 'me' time back home. Needed to 'decompress' from time to time. Don't really get that here. Well, its kind of impossible with hundreds of other brains, in my brain.
And any time my body has room? There's some girl wanting to crawl on top of it. Finally understand what Fabio must go thru. That poor bastard.
Red lights a new cigar for me, without needing a match, and Frankie refills my glass of whiskey. Oda-Mar and Sim-Fer have merged. Stepping forward to hold Sanctity and Tormentor for me. While Red and Frankie take the opened seats at my side.
The fireplace is still going strong. The smell of cigars, whiskey, and burning wood? Heaven.
Nigs chuckles a bit to himself before speaking.
"The guild has been watching Stormgarde's progress with [Recovery Magic] and it is not, fast enough." Why is he looking nervous? "I have been told to offer you... help."
The adventurers guild thinks it can do better than some of the finest spell slinging minds on the continent? Something smells fishy.
Frankie can tell something is up too and says.
"What form would this 'help' take? Guild representative."
"Volunteers, Lady Ushinua" Nigs mentions almost like its in passing.
Red's in on it now too, chiming in.
"Mister Nigs. What would these 'volunteers' be doing?"
"All sorts of things Lady Edelys. Helping with experiments. Helping with security. Being valuable sources of field experience with healing magic. Getting healed. Providing additional spell support. All sorts of things."
Mister jolly fat man, is starting to sweat.
"No." Lili delivering the rejection! No dunk for you Nigs. Boom!
What. I'm supposed to be sympathetic? Are you kidding me? The guy just admitted the global organization he works for is looking for a way to kill me. Its even a top priority for them. Now they want me to be their on call doctor?
I don't think so.
"Please Lady Liliana. I know your husband's experiences with the guild have not been the... best bu-"
"Not the best?!" Red's pissed. "You sold my husband out to the church! Got six of his women killed! As well as dozens of my friends and subordinates! Then okayed a Gold rank ambushing my lord. In his own castle!"
Some of those guys had been her friends since before the demon invasion.
"Anything we've gotten from you? We've paid a fair price for. Now you want him to be your personal healer?! For volunte-?!"
Interrupt Red by taking hold of her hand. Wow. I can actually feel the heat coming off her. Those are some memories we really didn't need to dredge up. Didn't know her friends well. But I knew mine. Inside and out.
Seylia, Chyal, Dara, Olete, Ushal, Vira, even Avi. Seven women who deserved a second chance. Who could have had one. If the guild had just sent a warning. Just sent a couple of runners. Instead of letting us blindly walk into the church's trap.
I'm standing now. The taller than me Red is crying on my shoulder while I'm holding her. Bet the pregnancy hormones aren't helping. Frankie is still seated and looking at Nigs. Yeah, he was expecting this.
"Guild representative. You must have known how we might react. Why bring this up now?"
Nigs sighs. "Because we are running out of time. Everything is escalating. Aquecian Heroes showing up in Stormgarde. Reports of the succession struggle in Kriotux ending. Approaching civil war between Houses Airnett and Baramont. Inquisition wanting to launch a full scale purge of the spreading Beast Cult. Even the first reports of town, not just village, uprisings?"
The thief stops himself and takes a deep breath.
"We've been trying to make up for our mistakes. Have dozens of agents across this county now. Yet still missed Duke Chastel's moves. Trying to put our best foot forward. But still have idiots like Demolisher who think a shield to the face is the best way to say hello. Even have our best searching for clues to who sent these visions of your son. And still found nothing."
Still not sympathetic but might admit they've had it rough.
"Right now, a carriage is on its way here. Running non-stop. Day and night. Changing horses at every town. Its occupant is a Mithral rank badly injured and cursed at the bottom of Grim Caverns. Saved an entire raid when it got ambushed. And paid the price. Healers are alternating non-stop to keep her alive but they can't stop the curse. Can't replace the limbs."
Mister Nigs is shaking a bit as he stands up and then kneels before me. Tears?
"And... S-she's my sister." Looking up at me. "Help me Viscount Jon Barton. You're my only hope."
...
I look down at the not so jolly now thief.
"How long?"
He immediately replies.
"Two days at most."
"And the others?"
Nigs' business face is coming back.
"Some are in Raelera. Some are further. Waiting for a chance to beg you, or force you."
"The price?"
The thieves guild rep snorts.
"Anything. They'll pay anything. Many will do anything. They've long exhausted every other option. You are their only hope."
"Red?"
Her tears are starting to dry but there is still anger and grief in that lovely face.
"Make them pay, Jon. And pay dearly. I do not forgive them."
"Frankie?"
Cool as ice and staring hard at Nigs.
"I do not forgive them either, master. But to have the elite of the guild owe you? If they honor that debt? Their help could be priceless."
"Nigs?"
He's knows this is it.
"Y-yes?"
"Tell the guild they better bring a lot of gold. And in the future?"
His big smile is back.
"Yes!"
"Anything I want? I get."
And the smile is now a frown.
"Yes, my lord."
---D-Day+60, Glenic 31st---
"But... But... I tried really hard."
I did. I really really did.
"Dearest, its okay." "No one can be good at everything master." "It is okay, Jon." "Darling is good in other ways." ""Sensei? Is special.""
Its room 152. Because of yesterday's attack? Canceled my sessions today too. Right now? Sitting on a stool, staring out a window, being comforted by my harem, because I'm totally depressed.
There is a small chalkboard in my hands and on it is a number.
343
Out of almost four hundred applicants? Ranked three hundred and forty-third. The only exam I didn't suck on? Instruments? Totally cheated on thanks to a magic guitar.
Even Frosty is here. Patting my knee.
"At least onii-chan wasn't, last?"
Okay. Maybe 'comforting' isn't the right word.
But, I'm smart. Or at least smarter. Smarterer? This is medieval land. A bunch of primitive screwheads compared to my finest education someone else's money can provide? No competition. Right?
That's it. I must be too smart. Too smart for these back assward tests to accurately capture my brilliance. Clearly.
Of course there are researchers in the room working on this or that. Its busy all day. Whether I'm here or not. And all are pointedly ignoring their now revealed to be a big dummy, boss.
The door flies open and in comes the dynamic duo, Princess Isabeau and Viscountess Ymanie. Can feel their positive bouncy energy filling the room. I hate it.
"Lady Alote! Lord Jon! Did you see our scores?" Don't say them.
"Forty-fifth!" Ouch.
"Thirty-eighth!" Oomph. Double damage.
Blue hurries over to the two, shushing them, while several researchers give the pair dirty looks. She's whispering in their ears.
Refusing to look but I can hear the sudden intake of breath. The gasps. Yeah, 'comforting' is definitely not the right word to use.
"That is nonsense!" Her heinie-ness Isabeau is apparently doubting her ladyship. "Let me see that."
Feel her walk up beside me and look over my arm.
"Oh."
You're a princess, right? You should know the magic words to heal a man's wounded pride. Right a teetering ship of state, the SS Ego, so it doesn't capsize. Show me or ladylike charm your highness.
"Well. You still have a magic penis, right?"
Mayday! Mayday! Critical hit! Abandon ship! Abandon ship!
Guess fat, drunk, and stupid, really is no way to go thru life.