Chapter 32: Fireside Chat

"I... I am Chi- I mean, Hitomi Chigusa.  The Shadow."

Wow.  Didn't expect to get her real name.  Guess she's committed.

Its after dinner and I have gathered the principals of our community.  Need to decide how we are going to handle this fiasco and, hero.  Me?  I'm in the clear.  I'm a fucking necromancer defending my turf.  Undead showing up?  Are to be expected.

Yes the mortality impaired can be scary to john q public.  Disgusting and revolting even.  But when the local lord is a corpse raiser?  A reanimator?  Of course you are going to get some unliving making the rounds.

House Chastel though?  Well, they're just fucked.  Out of those four hundred applicants?  At least half are nobles.  Their families are here too.  A crapload of lords, barons, viscounts, and counts.

That's not counting the ones related to marquises and dukes.

Daddy duke sent in a hundred stormtroopers to kill an aquecian hero, and me, and drag his daughter away.  Endangering all those kids lives.  A few did get hurt.  Caught in the melee.  In the AOE of spells.  Or hit by arrows or bolts.  None of them died though.

So, yeah, the Chastels are in kinda deep shit.

Now its a big House of course.  Have their own duchy.  So the chances of war?  Slim to none.  Sanctions, fines, and even assassinations?  Pretty much guaranteed.  The new duke will have quite the mess on his hands.

Of course game day couldn't continue so the rest of the schedule was postponed.  Even tonight's ball has been canceled.  Those left to qualify will squeeze into the morning of seventh-day and the scores will be posted before dinner.

Oh, yeah, the church is in trouble too.  About half the dukes hundred commandos?  Were templars.  A mix of knights and priests.  Only got a couple dozen keepables but...

Waste not, want not.

Got over four dozen raisable bodies though.  Experiments even look promising for my first death mage.  Yeah, I'm sort of turning the second basement of the keep into my...  Workshop?

But this is normal.  Right?  Lots of guys have a man cave.  Mine just has a lot of...  Bodies.  Hey, some guys collect shot glasses.

Okay.  Back to someone else being uncomfortable.  Namely, thief hero.

"Let's do introductions, shall we?  Ladies?"

"Edelys Barton." "Ushinua Barton" "Alote..."

Am a bit shocked to realize that there's only three women in this room I have not slept with.  Jenette's sister, mother, and the Lord Mayor's wife.  What, the, fuck.

Uh oh.  Its the Lady Mayor's turn.

"Welcome Hero of Aquecia.  I am Lady Marina Lawham.  Wife of this sack of shit, Lord Mayor Saulkolm Lawham."

"Dear..."

"Shut it!  If I hadn't let you go to that ball alone because I had to settle our daughter's marital problem?  We wouldn't be in this disaster!"

Marital problem?  Interesting way of saying your daughter can't keep her knees together but, potayto, potahto.  And yeah.  Lady Mayor is a genuine ball buster.  Poor guy.

"Lady Marina.  He did what he thought was best and I didn't see this coming either.  None of us did."

"Lord Barton!  I will have you-"  There she goes.  The Lady Mayor's tirades are legendary.  But I don't have the time to spare.

"You may yell at him, but you don't get to yell at me."

There we go.  "I...  I apologize."  Would rather not kill another woman today, but the night is still young.

Lamer saruman, new old seneschal, ex-patchy, mister nigs, and constable, introduce themselves.  Frosty and another female dean already did their hello's.

*exhale*

This cigar's taste isn't exactly like home, but its close enough.

"Alright.  Let's get this meeting started.  Lady Chigusa.  Any idea who sold you out to Duke Chastel?"

The hero in disguise shakes her head.  Looks very uncomfortable.  Huh.  From femme fatale to babe in the woods?  Kid's going to give herself whiplash.

Constable steps in.  "We cannot leave her at that store now.  She will need to move to someplace with better security."

"We've got plenty of room.  Even a room on the fifth floor should work."  Ex-patchy comments.

New old seneschal shakes his head.  "The Princess and Viscountess are staying in the guest quarters.  We can't have a known foreign agent so close to them."

"The Stormgarde Dorms then?"  Mister Nigs turn.

Frosty scoffs.  "An Aquecian Josei Hiro among a couple hundred stuck up nobles daughters?  A disaster waiting to happen."

"Then where else can a young in trouble lady be placed?"  Lamer saruman is looking at me.  Frankie just squeezed my shoulder too.

Fine.

"Delta Tau Chi."

Well, animal house was made for black sheep.

Thief hero has a confused look on her face and a tilt to her head.  Milti-Juri slides up next to her and says.

"Our lord made it for some students going thru, troubles.  He call's it a Frat House."

"A fraternity?"  Hitomi replies.

"Well its almost all girls but I couldn't remember what the female version of a frat was called."

"Sorority."  Thief hero answers me.

"Oh yeah..."

"But th-there are co ed fraternities too...  S-so its still okay."  Hostile, spunky, flirty, and now bashful?  Geesh.  Ninja girl, at least settle on which dere you're going to be.

"Thank you Hitomi.  So is that okay?  Milti and Blue are both members of DTC.  While Oda and Simi are the fraternity's advisors."  The named wave.  "You'll have privacy when you want it and company when you don't."

Poor girl would clearly rather not be here.  Surrounded by strangers.  Think I'll assign Milti-Juri to her.  Milti is moving into animal house while school is in session anyway.  Shinobi girl finally manages an.

"O-okay."

Sigh.

"Frazur.  You can get off her lap now."

~You toy with the unliving the way you want too?  I toy with the living the way I want too.~

Ugh.

"Mister Nigs.  What light can you shed on today?"

The jolly fat man takes a puff on his cigar and a sip of his brandy.

"Thank you, Lord Barton.  The item used on the young lady today was Sun Powder.  A popular tool of the inquisition when fighting dark school users."  Yeah, the holy ninjas used it.  "Depending on the variety it can even be used as an explosive."

Continues.  "The thieves guild did hear that Duke Chastel was planning something but had no details.  He must have been using church resources to avoid the channels we monitor."

"There were some two thousand witnesses to the 'Black Lion' controlling a frightening number of undead, being skewered by a massive sword, healing a dying lady, ripping the soul out of a duke, and then killing that soul."

Well I needed to be sure so I tried to grab his memories of this.  Got a lot of them I think.  Yeah he got bird messages but the attack plan?  That was handed to him by some heavily and obviously disguised woman.  So someone was observing.  Probably still is.

Nigs keeps going.  "Not to mention that huge spell which made everyone, well, feel better about themselves and their circumstances."

I look up at Frankie standing to my left.

"Sorry."

There's that damn sparkle in her eyes again.

"Master.  It would be foolish to expect a god, to never act like a god."

And will probably help her cult spread.  So what the hell did I say sorry for?  Turn to Red standing on my right.

"Jon.  You are my husband and my lord.  Where you lead I will follow."

The support I feel from my wives thru our connection.  Yeah, thank you, I can do this.

Mister Nigs waits a few moments before continuing.

"There are three prevailing opinions right now, my lord.  One, you are a god.  Two, you are the reincarnation of Saint Sanriel.  Three, you are a sorcerer king who has reawakened or reincarnated."

"Hey, progress, no one is calling me a lich king this time."  Thumbs up.

"Dearest.  Don't give people the thumb.  Its rude."  Oops, forgot, and Lili for the save!

"Well..."  Don't harsh my cloud Nigs.  "Number three also includes the variant opinion that you are a Lich King.  Who has been building his undead army to bring an apocalypse of strife, famine, plague, and death.  Ending all life on this world."

"That's... detailed."

"It is from the more artistic members of the audience."  Oh god.  Nigs, don't tell me they are going to make a-  "There are already plans to adapt the event for the stage."

God dammit.

I?  Facepalm.  Others, including my wives you traitors, giggle.  Even you thief hero?  The artistes?  Tend to take a lot, a lot a lot, of 'liberties' with their source material.  Just watch.  In the play I'll end up NTR'ing the demon king's succubus wife too.

"Okay...  What about their magic weapons?  The enchantment was strange.  While it was stuck in me I felt traces of [Divine Magic] and [Curse Magic].  So it wa-  Eh?"

Hitomi suddenly looks, unwell.  Really unwell.

"I... I know where the weapons came from."  That resolving herself look again.  "They...  Came from us."

The always jolly Nigs face turns hard and cold.

"The guild heard the Chastels got the weapons from the church.  However, because the enchantment was so... odd.  We suspected the church wasn't making the weapons themselves.  Are you saying?"

Nodding.  Ninja girl looks like she swallowed a bug.  No, lots of bugs.

"The heroes reached an agreement with the Metians to provide anti-demons in exchange for certain, aid."

Ex-patchy is super pissed.  "What aid!"

Whole bunch of bugs.

"I...  Cannot say."

"You better damn sa-!"  I stop Lady Mayor from another tirade by raising a finger.

"We don't have to work our imaginations too hard.  Secret agreements are secret because it would be bad if everyone else knew."  Duh people.  "Mister Nigs.  You should inform the guild that the Metian church is, compromised."

"Already done."  Look at mister smooth.  Passing notes to mini-butler.

Who promptly disappears during the blink of an eye.  Is [Butler Magic] the key to good service and world domination?

"So, ladies and gentlemen, what do we do with a pile of armor and weapons enchanted with [Holy Curse Magic]?"

Mr. Nigs is first.  "Did it hurt?"  Excuse me?

"Excuse me?"

Nigs keeps digging.  "You see?  There are, concerns about... you.  So an... anti-you item is at the top of the guild's 'to do' list."

"Have you no shame?"

"Not even a shred."  Nigs, I thought we were buddies.  You know.  Bros before friend killing holy curse weapons.

"It hurt.  A lot."  I'll just leave out the thought I might die part.

Isn't it a trope commandment that as soon as the enemy starts yapping or monologing during a fight?  They've already lost?  Figured I was in the clear then.  Though it still hurt.  A lot.

"Hmm..."  Mr. Nigs?  Don't look so disappointed.

"You guys really want an anti-me that badly?"

Nigs, nods.  "My lord.  I have been instructed to buy a 'warehouse's worth' as soon as its found."

Red was holding Sanctity with both hands for me.  Now she's moved one hand to the hilt of her own sword.  Whoa, Frankie has moved one hand from holding Tormentor to the handle of her dagger too.  Notice the rest of my harem tensing up.

The thieves guild rep raises his hands up slowly.

"Please, Ladies Barton.  I would not have lived this long if I picked fights with sorcerer kings."

The tension in the room drops, a little.  Giving new old seneschal the chance to speak.

"Viscount, could we not sell the weapons back to the church?"

"That's a good ide-"

"The guild will buy them."  Mr. Nigs?  "We'll even pay a premium.  They at least hurt you and adventurers will pay thru the nose for anti-demon weapons."

*clap*

"Alrighty then.  Looks like we are done.  The guild will buy the enchanted weapons and armor.  The guild will quietly spread the word that the church has a secret agreement with the aquecian heroes.  Lady Chigusa will move to animal house.  Oh, how's her score?"

Lamer saruman announces.  "The young lady's excellent performance places her comfortably within the top one hundred applicants."

Can't you just say, 'she passed.'  Geesh.

"Good, congratulations Hitomi.  I'll assign Luvine as your personal maid since she is already your biggest fan."  Can see, thru shadow, excited maid jumping for joy in the back.  "Anything else?"

"There is one more thing I have been instructed to ask."  Looking for food allergies Mr. Nigs?  Do I need to start checking my dinners for peanuts?  "I would like to speak with privately."  Looks at my wives.  "Or at least as privately as possible."

"Okay.  You stay then.  Everyone else?  Get out.  Oh, and help Lady Chigusa move her stuff."

What does the guild want now?

Chigusa, Hitomi (female, human, japanese)

Habriel, Tharick Kana (male, human, aquecian)

Labrait, Tomas (male, human, tourinese)

Lawham, Marina (female, human, tourinese)

Lawham, Saulkolm (male, human, tourinese)

Mauger, Ortwin (male, human, tourinese)

Monding, Remont (male, human, tourinese)

Nigs (male, human, tourinese)