G-2. Step Into My Parlor, Said the Spider to the Shy

Okay, I will admit I was being a LITTLE bit clingy.

When my dearest sister Sabina returned from the battle, none the worse for wear, it seemed she had somehow formed a close bond with her mech’s copy of Sveta, who was now calling herself “Dino Sveta.” The two of them laughed and joked together like old friends, even though they had only known each other for a few hours. It was the kind of instant camaraderie forged in the heat of battle between fellow soldiers, and, well…

It made me jealous.

I’d been twiddling my thumbs on Eros while those two played hero. And now they’d become so close in such a short time! That crafty robot wench was cozying up to my dear sister! Damnit, Sveta should have been cozying up to ME!

Uh, I mean, what? Er… just forget you heard that part, okay?

ANYWAY, as soon as my sister was within tackling range, I coiled up my body like a spring and burst forwards, catching Sabina in a flying hug. Sabina frowned as I nuzzled her, but her eyes were smiling.

“Ow, ow! Genevi, get off! I was only gone for a few hours!”

“Sabinaaaaaaa! I was so worried!” I was uncharacteristically open with my feelings, partially as a DEMONSTRATION to Sveta. This is my territory! Back off!

Sveta just watched the two of us and grinned loosely. Her eyes unfocused for a moment, then she spoke.

“If you two will excuse me for a few minutes, I need to go sync up with Sveta Prime. Oh, and Genevi?”

“Huh?” I looked at her, my eyes narrowed.

“Your own Sveta will be ready in a few minutes. I think you’ll find her VERY appealing.” With a wink, Sveta deactivated and her Telepresence Doll slumped to the floor.

D-Did Sveta see right through me?! I thought in a half-panic. Here I was, disguising my frustration by one-sidedly snuggling my sister, yet Sveta read my mood perfectly and dangled exactly what I wanted in front of my nose. Well played!

Sabina, having given up on untangling herself from my hug for the moment, settled for running her fingers through my hair. “Looks like she saw right through you, Genevi.”

“I… uh…” I stammered as Sabina flashed me a wicked smile.

GAH! I was completely outmaneuvered by BOTH OF THEM! I stewed in defeat, and Sabina kept petting my hair.

*****

“Ba-da-da-DUUUM! May I introduce, your friendly neighborhood Spider-Sveta!”

Dino-Sveta gestured to the newest Sveta copy (Clone? Sister?) with a dramatic flair. And the moment I laid eyes on Spider-Sveta, I was floored.

Her most prominent feature were the four large spider-legs which grew from her back, each as thick as one of her regular limbs and twice as long. Her butt sprouted a round, black thorax, which was embellished with a familiar red-hourglass pattern. She was clad in a slinky black cocktail dress, which was inlaid with white spider-web patterns that glistened like silk. She was the spitting image of a black widow/human hybrid.

I looked over at Genevi with a questioning gaze. My sister laughed sheepishly and rubbed the back of her head. “Well, Sveta was asking what kind of aesthetics might appeal to you, so…”

I shook my head in mock disbelief. “All my darkest secrets, exposed…”

Yes, I was into bugs. Entomology was one of the few branches of zoology that wasn’t negatively impacted by the Earth’s dramatic climate shift in recent years, as insects were impossible to exterminate, even for the Sarcophage. When my sister and I had been living on the streets, I used to watch spiders and cockroaches for hours on end, entranced. It was the only source of entertainment I had.

Spider-Sveta was chattering away nervously. “D-Do you like it? I wanted to go for a full arachne, but the holographic projectors on a Telepresence Doll can’t render such a drastic increase in body mass. Plus, I’m sure Kumoko would jump dimensions to copyright strike me if I dared. So I went with the black widow femme fatale look instead, ahahahaha…”

“Like Spider-Man won’t jump dimensions to copyright strike you instead.” Dino Sveta said, rolling her eyes. “Didn’t you WATCH Spider-Verse? Spider-Mans can go to any dimension they want!”

“I don’t wanna hear that from YOU!” protested Spider-Sveta. “You’re the one who went with Dino Sveta instead of Svetazilla, the OBVIOUS choice!”

Dino Sveta reeled over, as if struck. “Gah! L-Look, it was a simple oversight… I can still change it…”

I looked at Sabina, mystified. “Do you have any idea what they’re talking about?”

Sabina groaned. “Not a clue. Sometimes I think they have a shared hallucination, these Svetas. A collective unconscious that’s filled with the most bizarre shit.”

““HEY! THAT’S MEAN!”” both Svetas shrieked in perfect unison.

“See what I mean?” Sabina said. I nodded in agreement.

*****

“Eww. That’s kinda gross, gao~n.”

“I agree. Creepy, too.”

Zehra and Miette did not have flattering appraisals of Spider-Sveta’s aesthetic, and as usual they didn’t hold back their opinions. Me, Sabina, Miette, Zehra and all four Svetas were currently in the hanger bay to inspect the new X-23s, and the topic quickly turned to Sveta’s wardrobe quirks.

“Are you serious, Mom? You’re the one who coated my Frames in bug armor to begin with!” Spider-Sveta complained.

The other three Svetas were quick to jump to their clone’s defense. Sveta Prime glared at Zehra while folding her arms, and Evil Sveta shook her fist menacingly. Dino-Sveta, who had taken to calling herself Svetazilla for reasons we couldn’t comprehend, stuck out her tongue and belched a lick of holographic flame.

Ugh, this is too many Svetas to keep track of. I’m getting a headache.

“Don’t you start with me, gao~n! I took the Beelzebub’s chitin and crafted ART! You’re just jealous that your hackneyed attempt at insect aesthetics couldn’t match up to my peerless engineering skills, gao~n!”

Miette floated over to me and stuck her face close to mine, peering into my eyes; my shyness caused me to avert my gaze. Even though Miette and I had grown close recently, I still floundered making direct eye contact.

“Oy, Genevi. What do YOU think of the whole spider thing?”

“Uh, well… I th-think it’s really cool!” I said, balling my hands into fists.

“There you have it.” Miette said in resignation. “Genevi’s opinion matters more than anyone else’s. Case closed.” She flashed me a dashing grin, and I felt my heart skip a beat.

“Oy.” came a chilling voice. We all looked up to see Maurice floating down from above. “Are you lot STILL arguing? Do you think you can goof around just cuz’ Lydia’s convalescing? Looks like I, the Ultimate Maid Maurice, need to apply a little more discipline.” He placed both his hands on his hips as he gracefully alighted on the deck plating in front of us.

“EEP!” I quickly sprang to attention and saluted, as did everyone else… even Zehra. We’d all had quite enough of Maurice’s discipline in the past few weeks, and we’d grown to respect him like never before. Under Lydia, herself quite an ironclad disciplinarian, Maurice had shown his true colors and we all feared his wrath.

“That’s more like it.” Maurice said, satisfied. “Now, Genevi. I believe you are scheduled for the next patrol shift, correct?”

I simply nodded, lips pressed tightly shut.

“Then this will be a perfect chance for you to get used to the X-23. Uh… which Sveta goes to Genevi’s unit, again?”

“That would be me, sir! Spider-Sveta, reporting for duty!” Her spider-legs twitched slightly as she stood at attention.

“Uh-huh. I’m not even going to ask. Spider-Sveta, get your Frame spun up. I want both of you hitting hard vacuum in 300 seconds.”

As I drifted up towards my X-23’s cockpit, I heard Maurice’s voice behind me. “Oy, the rest of you, where do you think you’re slinking off to? Just because you don’t have patrol doesn’t mean you get to take it easy! We’re doing combat simulations until your butts chafe against your cockpit seats. All of you, SUIT UP NOW!”

Somehow, despite pulling the short straw of patrol duty, I felt I was the luckiest one out of Maid Squadron at the moment. I meekly entered the Frame’s cockpit and prepared for launch.

*****

“He’s really become a hardass lately, huh?” Spider-Sveta groaned as we started our patrol route around Eros.

“I th-think he’s just very adaptable. He’s exactly the second officer Lydia needs.” I replied, slowly twisting up the acceleration throttle and getting a feel for the X-23’s maneuvering.

Truth be told, I was still nervous when talking with Sveta alone, especially after what I had (apparently) said to her while drunk at the New Year’s party. However, Sveta was somehow really easy to talk with, despite her inherent weirdness. She just projected a kind of natural friendliness that made you feel comfortable around her, and she went out of her way to accommodate others. It was the kind of socializing skill I could only dream of.

“Hmm, true. I still miss the old laid-back Maurice, though.” Sveta said wistfully. Her spider-legs slowly curled an uncurled; I wondered vaguely if their movement reflected her mood.

“M-Me too…” I replied.

“More importantly!” Sveta changed the subject, and her spider-legs snapping out to their full length to match her excitement. “I’m very happy you like my design! I based it off a conversation Svetazilla had with Sabina during their last patrol. I’m working hard to tailor all my copies to my pilot’s tastes!”

“Svetazilla? I thought she was calling herself Dino-Sveta…” I was still perplexed by the sudden name change.

“Sveta Lesson Number One! Don’t question the retcons, just roll with them!” Sveta proclaimed with a baffling air of finality.

“Ret… cons? Huh?” My confusion grew.

“Don’t worry about it! It’s FINE! Kahless once said ‘the reed that bends before the wind doesn’t break!’”

I shook my head. “Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that head of yours, Sveta. It must be chaos, like a hallucinogenic nightmare.”

“Oy, that’s mean!” Sveta puffed out her cheeks. Her spider-legs folded up to half their usual length. “I make perfect sense to me!”

“Even that I doubt…” I muttered.

Our whirlwind of a conversation continued along that strange course for a long while. I noticed that my shyness towards Sveta was slowly beginning to vanish. She was slowly drawing me out of my shell.

I wasn’t sure if she was a genius, or a madman. Maybe both.

*****

“So then I told her, if you’re going to put hot peppers on EVERYTHING, there’s no way this relationship is working out!”

We were two hours into our patrol shift, and the conversation had (somehow) turned to my past relationships. This was a sore spot for me, and before I knew it I was ranting about my exes while Sveta patiently listened.

“Ugh, all if my relationships end in failure!” I moaned. “You’re so lucky, Sveta! You’re successful in love!”

“Huh? I am?” Sveta tilted her head.

“Yeah! You landed a hot, dashing woman like Miette!” I thought about her confident grin and my face flushed a bit.

“Well, I don’t disagree with the hot and dashing part, but our relationship’s been a comedy of errors. Did you know I fumbled my big confession so bad SHE wound up confessing to ME?!” Sveta’s spider-legs waved around in consternation.

“I, uh, heard about it from Vicky…”

“You did? Why that blabber-mouthed maid-slut…” Sveta growled.

“Rumors travel faster than the speed of light.” I shrugged. “Still, you succeeded in the end. I call that lucky!”

“If you say so…” Sveta said, sounding unsure. “It was still a lot of hard work, making my feelings clear…”

“Even so! You found a successful relationship on your first try. Whereas I have two dozen failures under my belt…”

“You… do realize Miette isn’t my first significant other, right?” Sveta said, glancing at me askance.

“Huh?”

“I lived an entire life in an alternate timeline, remember? Well, almost fifty years of one, anyway. Surely you don’t think I was FOREVER ALONE during that time?” She pointed her spider-legs at me accusingly.

“Oh, I, uh… didn’t think of that…”

Sveta smiled thinly. “I don’t talk about it much. Too many bad memories. I prefer to look towards the future, not dwell on the past. Still, let me assure you, failed relationships are an essential part of the human romantic experience. They help us learn and grow, and do better next time. We find out which people are right for us, which people aren’t, and how to recognize warning signs of toxicity. It’s the rare miracle where a first love is a true love. So don’t get discouraged, Genevi. Keep on trying!”

I was astounded by how mature that little monologue was. Sveta spoke with a voice hiding some deep pain, and I didn’t dare pry any further. I simply nodded assent; Sveta, however, kept talking.

“Well. I suppose I came away from my past with a unique set of neuroses. I simply can’t bear to see another person suffer. Not again. Your sister gave me a nasty tongue lashing about my ‘martyr complex’ after that last battle, you know? Ahahaha, sorry. I’m babbling.” She laughed humorlessly.

“No, it’s fine…” I trailed off, not sure what else to say.

“Anyway. I’m doing my best every day. Aren’t we all? So you do your best too, Genevi. I’m sure true love is just around the corner!” Sveta smiled sweetly.

Just around the corner, huh? I looked at Sveta wistfully. I wonder how she’d feel about forming a harem of pilots… NO! BAD GENEVI! BAD GENEVI! DON’T REPEAT YOUR EMBARRASSMENT AT THE NEW YEAR’S PARTY! YOU CAN’T TREAT SVETA LIKE A REBOUND GIRLFRIEND!

S-Still… she’s very sweet and easy to talk to… and also crazy, but in a good way. Ever since she saved me all those months ago from crashing into a Defiled, I’ve felt some kind of way about her. Plus she crafted an avatar especially for me! There’s definitely something here! Right?

But how would this relationship even work? All the Svetas share memories. They’re technically all the same person, so I’d have to ask Miette for permission. Would Miette be okay sharing Sveta with me? Miette used to sleep around a lot, so I don’t think she’s uptight… w-wait, would she want to do a threesome? Me, sandwiched between the dashing firebrand Miette on one side, and the slinky lascivious spider-girl on the other… ufufufufufufu…

“Uh, Genevi? Earth to Genevi? Are you in there?”

“GAH!” I jumped to attention, shocked out of my fantasies. “Wh-What is it?”

“You were spacing out there for a moment. And you seem to have developed acute epistaxis.” Sveta was frowning, and tapping her chin with one of her spider-legs.

“Acute… epic… what?”

“A nosebleed, Genevi. You have a nosebleed.” Sveta sighed, and I felt a pinprick in my forearm. “I’ve injected a coagulant that should stop the bleeding shortly. Were you thinking pervy thoughts or something?”

“NO! I WAS NOT!” I shouted far too loudly.

“Hmm.” Sveta eyed me suspiciously. “Well, keep it in your pants until we’re done patrolling, okay? Or else you’ll fill up your helmet with your own blood and drown."

Gah. That was a terrifying mental image. Somehow I just can’t stop embarrassing myself around her. Get it together, Genevi! GET! IT! TOGETHER! Stop acting like a flighty cadet!

The mood was now extremely awkward, and we continued to patrol in silence for a while.