3.84: I’m only human

Anger poured into my veins like molten lava and forced my mind out of the dreamy fog that I had been drifting in. I felt pure unfettered rage course through my system like a wildfire, and slaking my thirst for blood and violence seemed to be the other way to calm the raging inferno within me. My eyes focused on the closest creature to me and I let out a low growl as I saw it was a demon woman with long blonde hair and golden eyes. She looked at me with confusion written on her face for only a fraction of a second before black fire surrounded her body and she threw herself at me. I didn’t even have time to react before I felt my arms being pinned down to the floor and the woman pressing her weight against me. I thrashed in her grasp, but nothing I did seemed to loosen her iron grip on my wrists. I could see her mouth moving as she started speaking to me, but it was hard to hear anything over the sound of my heart thumping in my ears. After lifting her head backwards and then bringing it down onto my face with an explosion of pain, I stared deeply into the eyes of the woman who had struck me.

Anguished fury flooded my system as I realized that I had almost attacked my beloved Gehenna and she had been forced to subdue me. Why would I have done something so stupid?! A growl rumbled in my chest and I did my best to turn away from the concerned eyes of my demon lover, but after releasing one of my wrists she grabbed my face and forced me to look up at her. Panic coursed through me as I felt the urge to lash out at her with violence. What was going on?!

“Allie, look at me. Focus on me, my love. Don’t think about anything else, just focus on me!”

I locked eyes with Gehenna and just let myself fall deep into those blazing pools of gold. I felt my body still and the overwhelming thirst for violence began to ebb away. As my breathing finally calmed, I relaxed beneath my lover’s body. I felt her breasts pushing against my own and a rush of heat raced through me. The only thing separating us was the single layer of tight clothing we were both wearing. I felt a gnawing hunger fill my core and stifled a moan as I realized that the position I was in was incredibly intimate and extremely submissive. I pushed my hips upwards to grind against my blonde lover and lifted my head in an effort to kiss her. Instead of pressing her lips to mine, Gehenna pulled away slightly and sighed loudly. The moan that had been bubbling up out of me shifted to an irritated growl. I gave her a playful grin as I realized she was just playing hard to get, and quickly slid my free hand underneath her shirt. Before my fingertips could seek out the soft, supple flesh of her breast, Gehenna let out an exasperated sigh and pulled my hand free from the confines of her clothing.

“Allie, stop! You need to get yourself under control!”

“But… I don’t know what’s happening to me, Gehenna! I feel angry, and horny, and scared, and hungry, and so many other fucking things all at once! It’s like my brain and body are on fire! What is happening?!”

A wave of terror seized at my heart as I thought about the implications of everything. Did I screw up the thing with Allexus? Did I somehow fuck up my brain? Did I–

“Allie, right now the demonic part of your brain is in control. Your emotions are heightened and volatile, and everything will feel far more intense and uncontrollable. I can help you get that control back, but I need you to focus all of your attention on me and do your best to remain as calm as you can. Can you do that for me, my love?”

I exhaled through my nose loudly in an effort to slow my rapid breathing and stared up at Gehenna. I focused on the features of her beautiful face and then gazed deeply into her eyes. I nodded my head slowly as I forced every part of me to remain as still and calm as possible. Gehenna’s golden irises began to glow brighter as some sort of magic poured out of her and into me, but I never looked away from her for a second. My racing heart slowed to a normal pace, the burning all over my skin faded, and the cacophony of mental noise in my mind quieted. I began to take long, deep breaths and felt completely at peace and utterly calm. I smiled warmly at Gehenna as she released her tight grip on my wrists and shifted so that she was now laying beside me on the floor. I moved my head so that I was facing her, and leaned in close to kiss her. She didn’t pull away this time, and I sighed contentedly as her lips met mine. I savored the sweet passion of my demon wife for a moment before moving away slightly.

“Thank you, Gehenna. That was… that was fucking intense. Is that… is that how you feel all the time?”

She smiled at me and shook her head gently.

“No. Well… not anymore. I definitely did when I first became a demon, but I’ve had many, many years of practice learning to get my emotions under control. But… enough about me. It is obvious some sort of change happened within you, as the connection I have to you with my [Souls of the Damned] has strengthened significantly, but I’m still unsure about what exactly happened.”

My cheeks flushed for a moment as I thought back to the events that took place inside of the dream realm, and I bit my lip as I considered the best way to explain everything. Before I could say anything, however, Gehenna laughed softly and gave me a knowing grin.

“You need not feel embarrassed about anything, my love. Nothing you tell me will ever make me think less of you.”

After telling her about the brief argument and the revelations regarding Allexus's origin, Gehenna was able to coax me into telling her all the horny details of my “self-love” session. As I regaled her with the highlights of the mind-blowing sex with myself, I came to the not-so-shocking realization that I was able to recall the events from both my and Allexus's perspective. This discovery allowed me to search my memories for other things I could suddenly “remember” and I was able to recall with fairly accurate details of all the times Allexus had taken over. There were also quite a few memories that seemed to fade into shadow as I thought about them, and I guessed it was likely the ones with Mellic that most definitely triggered the N-Vision safety features. While it was frustrating to have strange gaps in my memory, I was thankful that I wasn't being subjected to the trauma that would have occurred from my time with my former demon master.

One of the stranger discoveries we made was finding out that I had a new form I could transform into. In addition to being able to take the guise of a Demonspawn, my Avatar of Corruption form, and my “true” form, I now had the ability to turn into my human form. Upon shifting into what was essentially my real body, I discovered that all my abilities, spells, and various demonic traits were completely inaccessible. I was, for lack of a better term, completely human. While I was no stranger to not having demonic superpowers or magic in my real life, it was something entirely unique in the game. For the first time since acquiring my demon body, I truly felt weak. Gehenna excitedly picking me up and moving me around so effortlessly certainly didn't help matters, but it definitely gave me a unique perspective into how others likely perceived me in my true form. After womanhandling me in ways that most definitely made my thoughts drift towards the bedroom, Gehenna reluctantly excused herself to go deal with some problem that had arisen, with the promise of enjoying my human body thoroughly upon her return.

Walking around the castle in my human form was a strange experience. I felt vulnerable whenever someone approached me, and even being around the low-leveled recruits who had recently joined the clan still made me feel pathetic in comparison. Oddly enough, It did allow me to connect with them in a way I likely wouldn't have been able to do in my true form. Since I no longer gave off the waves of power that always seemed to radiate from my true form, the newest members of our clan felt far less intimidated by me and seemed to view me as just another gamer enjoying a badass video game.

After finding me and dragging me back to our shared bedroom, Nialla spent the next couple of hours enjoying the extreme shift in our power dynamic. I could tell she was hesitant at first to take a more dominant role, but after some gentle prodding she quickly got the hang of it. After thoroughly exhausting me far, far too quickly, I figured it was time to change back to my demon form. Doing so, it turns out, ended up being a whole ordeal.

As my body shifted and reformed, my senses were instantly bombarded and quickly overloaded as the enhancements to each of them took effect. I clapped my hands on my ears in an effort to block out the cacophony of noise that was suddenly assaulting me, while doing my best to ignore the rush of tactile sensation I was experiencing from head to toe. I recoiled sharply as Nialla's arms wrapped around me in an effort to help, but forced my overstimulated body to relax as much as I could. After an indeterminate length of time spent in total sensory overload, I felt my mind and body adapting to my altered and enhanced physiology. Thanks to my earlier emotional freakout with Gehenna, I was prepared for the onslaught of heightened emotions and was able to remain mostly calm until I got a handle on everything. As Nialla continued to clutch me in her arms protectively, I explained to her in great detail the events with Allexus, my discoveries of all the changes to my body, and what I had experienced when I shifted out of my human form. After taking a few minutes to reassert my authority over my sexy kitten, it was my turn to hold her tightly in my arms.

“So, kitten. What did you want to talk to me about?”

Nialla remained silent for a moment, before pulling away slightly and turning to face me.

“Is what Allexus said true? About you being upset you can't marry me and looking into ceremonies and such.”

I sighed and pursed my lips slightly before nodding.

“Yes. But, before I elaborate on that… I should make something very clear. I am Allexus. I'm also Allie. What happened in that dream realm sort of… merged both of us. So everything that Allexus did and said, I remember all of it completely as if it was me. I know how badly I hurt you, Noelle. I still feel the overwhelming guilt and remorse for saying what I did. But what I said about marrying you, and finding some sort of ceremony, that was absolutely true. I hate that society still hasn’t evolved enough to better understand how love works and that monogamy isn't the only choice. I'm not going to stand on a soap box and go into the political aspects of it, but I will say that I will be doing everything I can to find a way to make what you, Emily, and I have as official as possible… that is… if that's something you want, of course. As I'm saying this I'm now realizing that I never asked you if that's what you want and now I'm rambling and anytime you wanna jum–”

Nialla giggled before cutting me off with a passionate kiss. After a moment she pulled away, leaving me breathless and hungry for much, much more.

“Both you and Em have to ask me properly when I meet you guys in person. Spoiler alert, the answer is going to be a resounding yes, but you both still need to do it right. And you don't have to tell her… she and I already talked about this while you were banging the shit out of yourself for twelve fucking hours. I know you're a bit self-absorbed, Allexus… but come on now… that's a bit much, even for you.”

The playful smirk on her face and the obvious laughter in her voice caused me to roll my eyes and grin at her antics.

“Alright you… I think I need to remind my kitten about her proper place in my harem.”