Chapter 39

"You don't have a dream, Erlig." she wanted to stroke my cheek, but I pushed back her hand.

"What do you mean by that?" I stood up and went towards the small table to pour myself a glass of wine.

"Don't you understand? You are doomed to have a hollow life without a dream. Dreams for humans are like water to a fish." as I was pouring the wine, I heard how she walked towards me. "You take a fish out of the water, and it will flap for some time, but in the end," she started stroking my back, and I felt goosebumps rising. "It will suffocate. Humans live on dreams, in hopes of catching this dream."

I downed a full glass of wine in one big gulp and winced from the sourness. "Who said it?" I turned to look at Mara.

"It was me." her hands were still up in the air from stroking my back, and she quickly found an occupation for them as she took my hands into hers.

"So you are saying that we should go after our dreams. And what would happen if the said dream is achieved?" I was looking at her face intently.

"Then you should dream of something bigger, isn't it easy to understand?"

"Dream big, huh? So you should inflame your greed and ego?" I took my hands away from hers and started rubbing my nose bridge.

"You think everyone should suppress their own greed as you do?" She chuckled.

"Hey, I don't think like this."

"Erlig." I looked at her, and she suddenly pushed me. I fell down into the chair she used previously. "How many people are suppressing their greed? Of course, we all try to control our desires, but how many of them are like you? Can't you see that they are a minority?"

As I looked at her with my eyebrows furrowed, she suddenly sat sideways on the same chair, clasped my face, and forced me to look into her eyes.

"Listen, not every minority is acceptable. Sometimes if it's a minor aberration, it should be fixed and corrected, you understand?"

I blinked once.

"And the people like you are exactly the type of minority we should fix. Do you seriously think you can suppress your feelings for all eternity? What would happen to your mental health if you are always hiding in your shell?"

She looked worried as she said this, but the meaning behind her words was slowly slipping away as I gazed at her face.

"Dreams are your reason to live."

"What do you mean?" I tried to move away, but she held me in place tightly.

"You can live as much on the fear of death. In the end, it would run out. What would happen next? Either you would make a big mistake or die young." She finally let my cheeks go and stood up. "You should think about this."

I tried to process everything she said to me and couldn't find a single flaw in what she said. The only thing that bothered me was a mistake.

With the way I was brought up, I was much more competent in controlling my emotions. At least I felt like that.

"I want to ask you one thing, what do you mean by mistake?" As I looked up at her, she was already standing near the guardrail, looking down.

"I've heard two stories about people that were terrifyingly similar to you. The first guy decided to meet his ends earlier than most. The second." she turned around to look at me and flashed me a smile. "The second one raped a woman and was sentenced to ten years in jail."

"Cough-cough!!!"

"What's the matter?"

"No-nothing." I waved my hand towards Mara and cupped my face so she wouldn't see me.

Raped a woman? Sentenced?

Was Mara joking with me? Did she know that I… That Violetta and I…

She knows a lot about me, and her parents are filthy rich. She even has this gang of bodyguards, so she can probably do whatever she wants. It won't be impossible for her to look into this matter.

I couldn't understand what was going on. I've always had this scenario in my head. I could end up in jail. But the real fear was always somewhere in the back of my mind.

Was it really my problem all along? That I didn't have a dream? Would I be more stoic if I had a dream? But I was stoic enough already, or I wasn't?

"Don't you think you should do at least this much?"

"Huh?"

Mara sighed. "Find yourself a dream."

Dream?

I groaned, "It's easy to say, find yourself a dream."

"Don't you like reading? Why not aim to be an author?"

"I don't like reading this much." This was probably an amusing answer. "I've thought about this. I guess I just waste my time by reading."

"Hoooh." she leaned on the guardrail and folded her arms.

"I don't know what I want or like. I don't know what I should do. I just want to live my life the way I used to."

"But…"

"Yeah-yeah, I can't do it. Not anymore. So why can't I just make 'standing up to Reid' my goal?"

"No, you can't. This is a necessity. You are forced to do this, and this won't solve the problems of your pent-up feelings. What will happen after you make it true? You will once again stop. Don't you know this yourself?"

I heard her steps as she went behind the chair I was sitting in.

"Yes... I know it."

"Then why not aim at something bigger? Like overthrowing him? Making him pay for what he did to you?" her face suddenly appeared from the backside of the chair.

"This… won't do, I can't do this." Though the thought was enticing, it wasn't something achievable.

"Then how about making the most beautiful woman yours?"

Her face popped out from the opposite direction of the chair's backside.

"Making a beautiful woman mine?" Somehow as these words trailed off, I thought of a certain woman that smelled like a flower.

In the end, I shook my head.

"This won't do." Was this really that important? To spend my time thinking about this.

"Then how about…" she walked to the front of the chair.

"Enough." Before Mara could continue, I interrupted her. "What dream do you have? You are talking about this and that as if you are a certified psychiatrist. What is your dream?"

"Huh?" Her mouth opened up slightly from the surprise, "You want to hear about my dream?"

"Yes, I think it would help me." I leaned forward. As my eyes darted down for a second, I noticed that my foot was uncontrollably tapping for some time.

"That's a good idea." She hid her mouth behind her arms. "Well, listen well."

I nodded once to show that I was listening.

"When I was five, I saw this one movie, it was about dancers, so I have wanted to become a dancer since then. However, after a few lessons, I found out that this was just a passing thing. When I turned seven, I wanted to marry my dad. At eleven years old, I started to feel great about taekwondo, but soon my passion died out. At thirteen, there was this boy in my school. I wanted to go out with him…"

"Wait, wait, I didn't ask for your full biography. I asked about your dream." I rubbed my temples.

"Heh, you think that dream is some kind of magical thing? We get them and discard them. We always have something that we covet. The key words always have."

"I got it already…" The way my foot moved changed. Instead of tapping with my toes, I lifted my foot and started shaking my knee up and down.

"Oh, so you want to know what is a guiding light for this young lady right now?" she leaned even further back and turned her head to look at the ring.

"Yes. Yes, I want to know this."

She finally looked at me, with the corners of her lips lifting up in a smile. "Well, too bad, it's a s-e-c-r-e-t."

"FUCK! You must be kidding me!" I stood up immediately. The table full of food almost fell down because of me. "Stop with these riddles and philosophy talks! Just say it straight, what's so hard about this!?" I felt my blood boiling.

"Hah, what if I say that I just want you to be interested in me?"

"Then, I would say this is a fucking terrible timing."

"Look at you. At least you stopped talking with me like you are a priest."

"Fuck you!"

"Hah, you are amusing," she chuckled, "Though I can't say what my dream is right now, I'm working hard towards achieving it. In fact, this is the thing I would obtain in a matter of a month, two at most." She showed me two slender fingers.

"Well, good for you." I huffed. "When are we going to go home? I'm tired of this talk."

"We can go right away, but I want to show you something before we leave, get closer," She waved her hand.

"Fine!" I swear to god, this is the last time I will follow her around.

"C'mon, don't sulk. This would make you feel great, I promise."

As I walked toward Mara, I started looking over the guardrail. Those fighters that were there, in the beginning, had long ago walked away. A new pair of men were in the ring, with one being knocked out and the other one trying to gather his breath.

"I've already seen this." I couldn't hide the annoyance in my voice.

"Oh, would you look at him? So angry because of the mere joke." Mara wanted to grab my cheek, but I whacked her hand away.

"Don't touch me."

"Hmph," she pouted, "Wait for a few more seconds, and it will start."

After a minute or so, the ring was finally clean, and a rather large guy in black trousers, shirt, and surgical gloves went inside.

"How is the show, ladies and gentlemen!?"

The sound of the host Cristoph once again resounded. Along with his voice, a dull Booo could be heard from the audience.

"I know, the preliminary matches this time don't quite get up there, but fret not, as the main event will start now!"

Maybe it was the fact that the matches were not as great before, but right now, the crowd, which was dying out slowly, started getting rowdy once again.

"And to shake off this sluggish feeling and a bad aftertaste, why not start with something that has the most remarkable taste?"

The sound of the music that was muffled before started playing loudly once again. The sound of an old-school rap permeated the air of this Ballroom.

The people started getting alive, while the air was getting electrified by itself.

"WHY NOT START WITH THE BIG GUNS!? LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WELCOME OUR OLD-TIME STAR, THE ONE WHO IS ADORED BY WOMEN AND HATED BY THEIR HUSBANDS, HE IS ON THE STREAK OF TWO WINS, OUR ONE AND ONLY, 'SMOOTH' TYYYYYLER HAAAASS!!!"

"Hey, I know him!" is what I wanted to say to Mara but got deafened by the sudden increase in the voice of the audience.

While the cage rattled and felt like it would fall apart in any second, there was women's underwear?

I shook my head once and rubbed my eyes. Only to see that there was indeed women's underwear thrown towards the ring. The ring where a man in his early twenties was waving and smiling towards the crowd.

Well-defined jawline haircut that was probably worth more money than my phone and a good-natured expression. He looked handsome which was, probably, the reason why he garnered attention from women. The fact that he stood there with a bare torso with well-defined abs added oil to the fire.

On top of good looks, I knew that he was an owner of a few striving startups, paving his way into upper society from an early age.

I wonder if Mara likes him as well?

As I tried to stealthily look at her, I found out that she scoffed at him?

"You know why he has only two wins?" she suddenly turned around her head and looked at me.

"Huh?"

"It's because two fights ago, I beat him up, hahaha."

She laughed like she made a simple joke, but it wasn't as simple for me. What the hell? As I looked at the guy, he was in top condition, well at least from the looks, he didn't lose much to me in physique, and she beat him up?

Just when I tried to open up my mouth to ask her what she was talking about, I was interrupted by an announcer.

"AND NOOOOOW, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HIS OPPONENT, I KNOW YOU ARE WAITING FOR THIS, SO LET'S FINALLY LET THIS BULL OUT."

The cages rattled, even more, when a guy in his thirties started slowly treading towards the ring. A black tank top and tight-fitting shorts suited his tanned skin. He was shorter but much burlier than his opponent. With his tightly clenched mouth and furrowed brows, he looked like the guy who works as a bouncer.

"LET OUT OUR BRAAAAAAHMAAAAA BUUUUULL!!!"

I needed to wait for a roar of the crowd to subside before asking Mara.

"Hey, isn't that Ezekiel Steiner?"

In the whole Kybrin, no bar franchise was more popular than his 'Drunken Bull'. He also owned several resorts.

"Yeah, it's him?"

"Why... why didn't they say his name?" I was confused. She asked me in return as if it was me who was wrong. As if the way they did things here were the only, right, way to do it.

"His preference." She answered indifferently.

"That's it?"

Mara exhaled, "Look, as I said before, we who gather here all know each other. There is no point in hiding our identity, this is our playground, and we follow the rules we set ourselves."

"And he does not want to be called by his name?"

"Yeah, now look at this." She pointed towards the ring where those two stood. "They will fight in a second. Who do you think is going to win?"

"Win?" I looked at the pair of 'fighters' up and down, and no matter how much I looked, the sturdier guy felt more like a fighter and a winner. "I think Ezekiel will win."

"Oh? You are up for a surprise."

The moment the music reached its peak, two fighters started closing the distance between themselves. However, unlike Tyler, Ezekiel wasn't agile enough when moving, his feet glued to the ground tightly.

Tyler, in turn, used his toes to jump around. Circling around Ezekiel, looking at him.

This lasted for probably two or three seconds before they closed the distance enough to exchange strikes.

While Tyler made a few quick jabs, Ezekiel returned a wide swing, leaving himself completely open. Now that I think about this, their posture wasn't as good as the pros.

"So far, it doesn't really differ much from a pro sport." I voiced my thoughts aloud.

"Watch what will happen next."

They continued to exchange strikes here and there, with Tyler having an upper hand every time. But he was steadily getting cornered. That's when the fight changed.

As Tyler had his back against the corner, he made a swift low kick to stagger his opponent. However, Ezekiel didn't even flinch; instead, he flew right into the arms of Tyler and started swinging his arms crazily.

While most of Ezekiel's punches missed, he managed to connect with the cheek of his opponent once, making Tyler stumble. Steadily moving forward like a bull, Ezekiel tried to finish his opponent.

But the next move turned the table of this fight. Tyler made a straight kick towards the knee of Ezekiel, almost making him fall down face first.

The next move he did was a soccer kick that barely missed as Ezekiel managed to return to his stance. He once again started swinging his fists wildly, but this time Tyler accepted this trade-off.

The blood spilled from the nose of Ezekiel and Tyler's mouth, but both of them started grinning.

"While Ezekiel looks tough, he is but a street fighter, while Tyler is a pro, albeit one who doesn't actually participate in tournaments." as Mara started explaining to me what was going on, the fight changed again.

Ezekiel gradually started winding up, his arms dangling loosely. While the precision of Tyler's strikes decreased noticeably.

"He is loved by the folks around here for his way of doing things, but in the end, he can't win a serious fight."

The fight soon changed into a one-sided beating, but the big guy who wore all black didn't even flinch to stop it. Blood was splattering all over the ring and fighters. Ezekiel looked like he was bathed in his own blood, yet he still tried to return a swing or two.

"It would've been long ago stopped in any kind of promotion, as Ezekiel can't defend himself."

"Yes, why aren't they stopping the fight?" It was frustrating.

"Because it's what he wants." Mara turned around to look at me. "As I said before, we only do this because we want to. No weight class, no division between male or female, and no rules."

As I looked in the ring once again, the fight was over. With a beautifully executed high kick, Tyler made his opponent stumble. He made a leg sweep next, making Ezekiel kiss the canvas. After this, a vicious-looking stomp was performed.

The fight was over.