Chapter 382: Diary of a Not-So-Wimpy Kid: NSFW

[Wednesday]

Of the Addams family?

Nope. It's actually September 10, 1986 for those that are wondering.

And no... this isn't the usual Calvin and Hobbes part.

Those are still going on, of course. But I already had a stockpile of those in the ready.

If anything, the comic strip of the day should have long been in print. Through growing affiliated publications, it should be circulated worldwide.

Just like any other day.

For this Wednesday though, it was just another day in the 6th grade.

And yeah... it's just in line to work on Greg's Wednesday entry.

Surprise, surprise. It's actually just the 2nd entry of the whole first diary.

In a surprising turn of events, I decided to take it slow, with enough reason.

The first one is the fact that publishing Greg's diary isn't going to be easy as one-two-three and A-B-C.

Despite the notebook-y aesthetic of the whole series, my schooling notebook scribbling just wouldn't be enough for it.

Considerations for the illustrations and book paging and sizing had to be done.

Then the blaring issue of time. Middle school antics of the 2000s just aren't the same as the 80s.

Obviously, I wasn't going to be haphazard with his plundering this time around.

For an integral leap into books, slow and steady is the way to go.

I wasn't that much in a hurry.

Anyways... the Mythical Cheese, the absurd Cheese Touch... and the poor kid that had to be sacrificed to put an end to it...

Not much to be changed from there. Some jokes just have that universality and timelessness...

I was already an adult when I read it but it was still quite laughable? Laugh-worthy? A chuckle or two?

Given who I am, just thoughtful musing actually.

With that said, that's Greg's Wednesday entry done for the day of Wednesday.

My own Wednesday was far from over though.

At some point during the day, the DynaTAC in my locker rang.

Usually, it's just the usual business stuff... but it was actually my grandfather at that time around.

[Alex...]

"It's me."

[What's this ache I feel about you fooling around with girls?]

"Ache?" And feel?

[Sigh... That Old Pierce went on a rampage. Apparently, telling me about it just isn't enough...]

And my grandfather just divulged his grievance from there.

It involved stuntmen fees, a scuffle, and a Yautja mask protecting some sort of elderly handsomeness.

Welp... I guess...

[Anyways, as your mellow and supporting grandfather, settle the matter about the girls with your other grandfather next time around, okay?]

"Yeah... yeah... I'll get a handle on that."

And getting a handle on it was what I will do.

------

[Thursday]

This was when Rodrick debuted with the stupendous slept-throughout-the-whole-summer prank.

It was quite the reaching trick but it worked and the guy somewhat got away with it.

It made some sense for this guy to become a fan favorite in the books and movies.

Going by analysis, despite how he's portrayed, Rodrick just seems grounded and more relatable than the rest of the psychotic Heffley family.

Anyways, it's what I would say is a simple diary entry of the day.

This Thursday of mine is far from simple though.

I promised to get a handle on things yesterday and get a handle on it was what I did.

Old Man Pierce's fierceness and Mr. Driver's deductable snitching were for later. Much, much later.

I just had to ring up my trusty DynaTAC once again...

And sure enough... the call went through.

[Hello?]

"Hello, Miss Galina?"

[Alex... how have you been? And uh... why did you call? Did something happen to Milla at school?!]

"Well... it's not really pertaining to school..." Man, this is hard but it's got to be done. "Uhm... I don't know if you know this... but something really did kind of happen..."

[Oh, is this about the kiss? Milla already told me about this a couple of days ago.]

Well, isn't that a relief for me? Kind of.

My intentions and clarifications for this call were far from over, after all.

"And... uhm... I've actually got something more to add to that..."

So, I talked to Miss Galina about quite some stuff...

The this, the that, the hows, the whys, and the what not...

By the end of it... the matter was more or less settled on her part.

As for Milla's side of things... the settlement was actually obviously much smoother.

I've known the two for more than two years now, making the mother-daughter duo quite special... so it was just talking it out and having understanding on all sides.

Although the entire process what far from simple... it was just good that I pulled through with it.

Thinking back on it, the whole thing was quite tiring.

Fortunately, my bed was quite soothing...

I found it quite hard to sleep though.

Since I really can't help but still ruminate about it.

Especially with Milla...

Snoozing and snuggled by the side...

Smiling and at peace after all that excitement...

So... Thursday... it sure was something for the both of us...

For events of this night and day marks the time when she became my girlfriend.

How could I not ruminate about that?

Of course, it's not like there's much of a difference from before...

From jogging together, going to school together, and just generally hanging around each other.

With Miss Galina's permission, the live-in-the-same-house together was the only one that got a bit of an upgrade though.

We now happen to sleep together in the same room.

With bits of innocent hugging, cuddling, kissing, and snogging... and that's that.

It's called not trying to overstep some lines even though a lot of lines have already been overstepped.

With all the technicalities of this re-life, admittedly, it's weird. Very, very weird.

However, I just shrugged.

It's not like the FBI will come knocking the door down. Mr. FBMIB is also from the FBI, so...

Also, isn't this kind of a full-circle callback to the time that I joked about sleeping with women to ease stress?

I guess Milla's absurd request came true and it really did help with gaining back calm.

------

[Friday]

On this day, Greg was pandering about reading groups. Genius or Easy. Einstein as a Child or Bink Says Boo.

And that was about it.

On writing Greg's entry, it still was slow and steady.

With regards to settling and handling the matters about the girls, it sure was quick.

Unlike the wimpy Greg, I was not-so-wimpy about some things.

Of course, that's just one girl settled since there's still actually another that got more and more unsettled.

While Milla was quite happy and bubbly and got quite a bit haughty... especially with how she bragged to a certain plastic sister of hers.

Drew, on the other hand, was not happy at all. How could she be?

It's all blatantly displayed right in front of her and the feeling of jealousy is quite palpable.

Well, I did try to initiate a call with her mother to discuss some stuff like he did with Miss Galina.

Unfortunately, Mother Jaid is far from reachable and it really gets one wondering how Drew gets by with a mother like her.

Anyways, out of the goodness of my heart... out of the goodness of her backside...

I just chose to bypass Mother Jaid entirely.

During the night as Milla was deep in her sleep, I sneakily left the room...

With my experience, I'm quite good at it...

As for where I headed... obviously... to the guest room where the patiently bitter Drew was sleeping over for the weekends.

Since the door was open...

I headed in to close it myself and with Drew's assent... I locked it.

It's to keep people from knowing the details that were going to go down on in this room.

After all, the things that were going to happen this Friday night... with this little girl... were clearly NSFW.

It's simply... Not Safe For Wimps.