24. Coercive Agreement

"Pfft, Ahahaha!"

She couldn't stop herself from laughing in my face as I stammered out those words. It was so hilarious to her, in fact, that she almost fell over from it.

"My god the timing, Hahahahaha!"

Her tone, previously almost dead sounding turned livelier than ever before. All I could hear was pure amusement, it was pleasing to hear how genuinely happy she sounded.

Even if it's at my expense.

"My god, ahhh..."

She straightened her face again after she calmed down from the sudden shock, and turned to face me properly, staring deep into my eyes with her clouded gaze. As she tried to speak she had to hold back a few laughs first, it was a strange sight to behold. As we stood there, she seemed to get lost into thought, before a flash of something like anger could be seen for a split second.

"You had me distracted for a second there. You want to date me now? You reeeally want to?"

It seems my stammering wasn't the least bit convincing. Ushiro was playing around again, this time however, she puts her own life at stake. I can't just ignore that, but the things I tried to convey felt oddly desperate.

It's like my brain wishes to tell me something, but I just barely can't assemble the details together. I barely got time to think.

"..."

I think I fucked up, I should say yes, or at least something positive. I should, but I can't. Could I really profess my love to her? Could I even get anywhere near those kind of emotions?

"See? When it comes down to it, I still have nobody. But that's not your problem, Takumi, it never was. We both knew that from the very beginning, and we should keep it at that. We can finish this off on a peaceful note."

She was pretending like... I'm not sure. Is she saying I'm weird? Is she saying we're being stupid? I have no clue.

"J-just stay here, f-for now."

She gave a blank look, before walking to a cut down tree, and sitting.

"And now? What's your grand plan?"

She waited patiently for my response.

"I... I have some p-places I can show you."

"How fun. Too bad I don't have the time, I don't want my face to be smashed in again."

"I-I can protect you from him, y-you-"

"I don't trust you." She bluntly told me, leaving me little room to argue.

I don't think I'm lying to her, until I realize just the scale of what I promised. What if my parents or Chiori disagreed? It's certainly possible, they have no idea who she is after all.

So I let the gears turn in my head, took a deep breath, and thought slowly about what I wanted to do. I have the background story, I have a clear idea of the situation and I can somewhat foresee the consequences of whatever action I'll take, all that's needed is for me to focus.

Yamatsu seemed to become more impatient, but I gestured for her to keep sitting. The knife was still in my hand, hanging loosely. The thing that was supposed to kill her was gripped in my hands. Such a cheap, old knife as well, you can see that the blade overtime has become somewhat dull. Yet still it's the epicenter of the chaos around us.

There is one question I didn't want to ask before, but which the answer of seems clear to me. Why isn't the father the target of her knife? Because Yamatsu is scared, this I already knew before, but it clicked just now. If living is having to deal with consequences to your actions, death would the the final one, there are no more consequences you can bear after that. Still, she is much misguided in thinking that she wants that, or that it's somehow necessary.

I approached her with renewed motivation.

"... Got any plans, or are you just waiting for me to change my mind?"

She looked at me with a curious expression. I looked at her back calmly now, the turmoil in my head finally wittled down.

"I'm just waiting for your little facade to drop, after that I'm going to find a solution with you, that's the plan."

"So you don't have any plan at all? You're just pretending not to hear me?"

"You're saying it's not my problem, and then wait for me to help anyway. You're saying there are problems with my solution, but immediately jump to suicide, even when you have other options. You might not trust me, but you can wait it out, see if I keep my promise. If you absolutely don't want to go back there, then don't. But don't ever just fling around something like suicide as a threat so lightly."

"What else am I supposed to do!? Well, if you want to make your life that much more worse, go for it. I don't have a knife anymore, and my hand hurts, so try and help me as much as you like, you idiot. If one day you had enough of me, do me a pleasure and slit open my throat quickly when I'm asleep."

With a defeated sigh, she got up and clicked her tounge at me in annoyance, her eyes still defiant, like she trying to warm me. It's now up to me to decide what's going to happen to her, making me feel uneasy still about what's going to happen.

"We're also going on that date sometime soon, no matter what your 'girlfriend' thinks of it, or what you think of it."

That last part unnerved me a little more as well, but at least some progress has been made.