Chapter 18

Programming the pseudofamiliar to do what I wanted, while not trivial, wasn't difficult, either. It turned out that each of the things I wanted to do was a fairly common thing for someone to want a pseudofamiliar to do, and gluing the requisite behaviors together just required me to understand basic programming. I didn't even need to ask Akane to help me with it.

"When I told Cass this is the easy part, I wasn't kidding," I said, leaning back with my arms crossed behind my head. "Now I can just kick back, relax, and do hot girl shit."

"I'm a hot girl," Akane pointed out. "Are you going to do me?"

"Just about every bit of exposure to this world's cultural norms informs me that omegas are 'supposed' to be sexually submissive," I said. "Now, I'm not going to endorse those norms, but I am going to note that you are way, way more sexually aggressive than I think is considered normal for an omega."

"Hey, I can be plenty submissive," Akane protested. "You just have to put a collar on me first, is all."

I snorted, and rolled my eyes.

"So, is there a reason you don't treat Veronica this way?" I asked.

"Having an omega fawn over her doesn't make her as happy as it makes you," Akane said. "Like, in case it wasn't clear, I am well aware that you're unwilling to pursue a relationship with me, and I even accept that. Buuuuut, I'm also aware that you like omegas, and especially like the feeling of an omega finding you attractive enough to flirt with."

"So, if you're not allowed to stroke my dick, you'll settle for stroking my ego instead?"

"Basically, yeah. What else are friends for? Aside from stress relief."

"No."

"Hm?"

"You're about to try and convince me that platonic stress-relief blowjobs are a normal thing to do between friends, here, and I'm not falling for it."

"I... wasn't, actually, but now I wish I was, because that sounds like a really fun argument to have. Especially if it works."

"My secret is that I am in fact just as horny and cumbrained as you are, I just exercise self-control."

"Will your self-control permit platonic hugs and cuddles? Or were those not a thing among your people back home?"

"Oh, they were, but..." I trailed off, looking at Akane. Who was, not coincidentally, literally in my bed. "...Look, I get that it's not fair to you to treat your body as inherently sexual. You're not a shapeshifter; you didn't get to choose to have large breasts, nor do you get to stop having them whenever you want. All the same, though, I am well aware that if I allow myself to be physically affectionate with you, I will get a boner due to your general physicality, and that's likely to lead to me acting on some bad ideas."

"I get where you're coming from, and I do agree in the abstract that treating omegas as sex objects because their bodies happened to be shaped like this is bad," Akane said. "However, I would like to note that I, specifically, do want you to treat me as a sex object."

"I think we should talk about weird System stuff instead, so that you stop saying just the most anarchically, uncontrollably horny things ever."

"As my master commands."

"Stop it. Hey, does it ever weird you out that Mystic Artificer is the only crafting class to unlock as slotless just as a default for anyone who levels a spellcasting class to Level 5?"

"Eh," Akane said with a shrug. "All three crafting classes have something weird and unique about them. Blacksmith can just spend magic to effortlessly fabricate anything from raw materials, even stuff that doesn't actually fit under the banner of 'personal equipment.' Or stuff that isn't made of metal. And Alchemist is really two crafting classes in one- external alchemy to turn lead into gold and sand into rubber, and internal alchemy to turn mushrooms into health potions."

"Mmn, fair," I said.

"Anyhow," Akane continued. "Considering how deeply intertwined magic and the System are, I'm honestly not all that surprised that Mystic Artificer, the crafting class that's all about putting magic into things, has that kind of systemic privilege. People can make swords and cloth by hand, without having the Blacksmith class, and people can brew potions without having the Alchemist class, but people can't make magic items without having the Mystic Artificer class, and people can swing swords without having a warrior class, but people can't cast spells without having a spellcaster class." Akane shrugged. "It's one of those things that scholars sometimes talk about as being super weird, and most everyone else kind of ignores them because it's not weird, it's how the world works."

"Kinda like how science enthusiasts back in my reality would sometimes go off about how weird some everyday phenomenon is, and everyone else just sorta politely tolerated them because it kinda wasn't weird, they were just putting a spin on the facts to make them sound weird."

"Yeah, like," Akane began. "It's just... Guys. The System is how people interact with the metaphysical. Spellcasting is entirely metaphysical. Of course you can only cast spells if the System thinks you should be able to. Ugh." She sighed. "And now I'm mad at people who repeat the same old tired cliches and go 'damn, really makes you think' and I just want to throttle them." She extended her arms. "I need you to cuddle the anger out of me, Roxy, it's the only way I'll stay happy and sane and not all rage-y."

"You have pets, don't you?"

"I don't want to cuddle a pet cowgirl, who'll only cuddle for a few minutes before getting bored, or falling asleep, or trying to fuck me. I want to cuddle my friend Roxy, who appreciates the finer things in life and can restrain herself from trying to fuck me."

"That's... I... huh." I blinked a few times. "...Alright, fine, bring it i-" And then all my breath was driven out of me as Akane flung herself into me like a busty missile.

"Can I just say," Akane said, squeezing herself tight against me, "that, as much as alphas without noticeable tits are still plenty attractive, I'm really glad that you grew a nice pair of your own?"

"You may," I said, reaching up and patting her head. "I'm a fan of them, myself. That's why I developed a potion to grow them."

"Speaking of that potion," Akane said, "what other kinds of transformative potion can you make, and do you think you'd be able to sell them for money?"

"Well..." I hummed carefully. This was something to do with my Incubus class, and thus something I was wholly unwilling to discuss out of largely-baseless paranoia. "...I don't think it'd be practical to sell them, no. They're pretty high-effort and resource-intensive. But if you specifically think you deserve a fatter ass, or maybe even a dick of your own, I'll see what I can do."

"Hrm..." Akane considered that, adjusting her position to most optimally squish her boobs against mine. "...Honestly, I think I would like to try having a dick, if there's a way to get rid of it if I don't like it."

"The potions are temporary," I said. "It's making the effects permanent that's the hard part, so if you just want to try having a dick for an hour, I can totally do that for you."

"Nice," Akane said. "Hey, if I take a potion to grow a dick, would you be willing to compare cock sizes before it wears off? Y'know, just as friends?"

"You would have to convince me I could have my dick out in your presence without you making a concerted effort to get it inside you."

Akane considered this carefully.

"Like, as a baseline," I continued, "you'd have to make a promise to me, out loud."

"I respect you too much to lie to you," Akane said.

"Thank you for your honesty, and also your genuinely flattering enthusiasm," I said. "As much as I bitch and moan, I genuinely am glad to have you in my life."

"I'm glad I have you too," Akane said. "And, Roxy, I would like to say... I think you're harder on yourself than you should be. And I also think that, even if things didn't work out between us as lovers, to the point where I did want to get rid of you... I'd actually have a hard time doing that."

"...Oh?"

"Mom and Dad love you, Roxy," Akane said. "You take an interest in what they do, you try to work with them and help them out with stuff, and always try to give them something they want in exchange for any help you want from them... Also, more specifically, Mom fucking loves that spinning machine you designed for her, now that she's also got a carding machine that'll work for it. And Dad is very aware that you were a major part of making an even better set of Sevenfold Necklaces."

"That reminds me, I kinda want to get some yarn from Haruna so I can use my knitting machine to make more stuff," I said. "I know it's late spring, going into summer, but I was here for a Dornish winter, and I doubt anything I knit would go unused for years at a time."

"See?" Akane said. "You've got this infectious enthusiasm for making stuff, and Mom and Dad are absolutely eating it up. Hell- you wanna hear a secret?"

"Uhh... sure?"

"Dad was planning to seduce you, because she thought that you just didn't like omegas, and that it'd take a beta to snag your interest and keep you in the family," Akane said.

"...What, and your mom was just okay with this?"

"Mhm!" Akane nodded. "Mom's not super jealous or possessive, and since she also wants to keep you around as part of the family..."

"Well, that's... good to know," I said. "I'm guessing you said Usagi was planning that, because she stopped planning it? Did you inform them that I did in fact like omegas, and was simply not sleeping with you for other reasons?"

"I did!" Akane said, nodding. "So now they've backed off on that."

"...Also," I said, a bit self-destructively, "would you hate me if I said I was a bit disappointed, on account I would in fact like to fuck your dad?"

"You're fine," Akane assured me. "Although, I hope it's clear why, I'd really rather you fuck me, instead. And, uh... I'd also rather not be in the same harem as my dad."

"Are harems a regular thing here?" I asked.

"Sorta kinda?" Akane said. "There's kind of an ideal of a powerful alpha having multiple committed lovers in their household, but the most common relationship unit is very much just two people. And, I should prooobably note, while I don't want to be in the same harem as my dad, I do like the idea of being in a harem in general."

"So, what, if I started dating you, you'd want me to get another girlfriend?" I asked.

"Well, yeah," Akane said. "I trust your taste, and I like meeting new people and making friends. I'm just, uh... not great at it. But hey! That's what I have you for."

"I hope I don't need to explain why it is deeply disconcerting that I am apparently the extrovert in our friendship."

"It's not a question of extroversion or introversion. I'm plenty extroverted! I'm just also kind of shy around strangers, and being an exemplar means I tend to intimidate people. Which I kinda don't know how to handle, honestly. It only really started when I had my last growth spurt when I was seventeen, and suddenly I was six feet tall and stacked as hell. You, though, are way better at interacting with people who're intimidated by you, so... Oh, also, you're an Alchemist who makes beer. I know neither of us drink all that much, but that has got to make you pretty popular."

"It might," I admitted. "Speaking of beer, very briefly, I've made a new kind of beer that I'll be sending over to the Rusty Anchor tomorrow." I grinned. "It'll be very interesting to see how it goes over."

Akane nodded wordlessly. The conversation trailed off after that, and we simply cuddled like that for a good hour or so, before Akane finally, reluctantly, got up, claiming she had study arrangements with Veronica.

I might not have gotten much Reified Lust out of that hour, but all the same... There was more to closeness, affection, and intimacy than lust, y'know? That contact, the casual touching, just the simple feeling of her body against mine...

...I couldn't wait to do it again.