Chapter 17

"Internal alchemy is amazing," I said.

"You're... gonna have to explain a little more than that, bud," Cass said.

"The short version is, the Alchemist class is really two classes stapled together," I said. "External alchemy is the thing Alchemists do when they turn lead into gold and sand into rubber. Internal alchemy is the thing Alchemists do when they turn mushrooms and half a spice rack into drinkable potions."

"Ahhh, gotcha," Cass said, nodding. "So, you brewed a potion to make your boobs bigger."

"Because I deserve them," I said.

"Fair enough," Cass said. "I was thinking, what with your plan, and the outfit..."

Indeed, I'd made myself a new outfit, with the help of my knitting machine, some external alchemical synthesis, and Akane doing some of that enchanting work I'd promised to ask her for. The centerpiece of my outfit was a clingy black tank top, low-cut and thin-strapped, with a bottom hem that went low enough that, really, I was wearing a particularly tight mini-dress. Accentuating it was a big, fancy longcoat of blue canvas, open in the front because otherwise people couldn't see my tits or my dick- which, I assure you, my dress was very firmly clinging to and outlining- along with some simple black stockings that left a two inch strip of thigh visible between their hem and the dress', a pair of black boots with straps and buckles and thick high heels, and a dark blue wizard's hat, secured to my hair with a black enamel hatpin.

I had, also, given myself some fat fucking titties. Were they as big as Akane's? No, absolutely not. But I had in fact started at that size, and then used potions to sloooowly shrink back down to a size that was still big, but not too big for me to comfortably live with. Still a lot bigger than an alpha would usually have, so.

(There was, also, the matter of growing a bigger dick, but honestly it didn't give me nearly so much euphoria as having boobs. I'd already had a dick, after all.)

"I mean," I began, "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at all using sex appeal to get my way, but the main thing behind all this is that... well, I want to be sexy, y'know?"

"Well, I'm neither judging nor complaining," Cass said. "No homo, but your tits look amazing."

"...Holy shit, did you actually just say 'no homo?'" I asked, struggling to keep from cracking up with laughter. "Oh my fucking god, Cass, that's- oh my god! Ohhh, I'm about to fucking piss myself, that's-" I stopped, swallowing to clear my throat, and composed myself. "So. Because of where I'm from, my perspective is that everyone on the planet who is attracted to other women is gay. Just... This entire planet and its population? Inherently gay. Some of them gayer than others, but still, gay. So, from that perspective, for you to say 'no homo' is..."

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," Cass grumbled. "Just take the goddamn compliment."

I patted her on the head, and she folded her arms, scowling at the fact that my four-inch heels- plus the inch-thick sole- turned our height difference from one inch to six inches, before accounting for the hat. Funny enough, one of the enchantments Akane had suggested for the hat was one that'd make it automatically shift to fit through doors without having to stoop down or anything like that.

We walked down the small side street together, towards a small, informal market that formed in a little square between the backsides of mismatched buildings every few days. It wasn't one of those markets where everything was bought and sold, in a cool and dark and edgy way, but rather, it was one of those markets where people sold all kinds of random crap, and unless the seller had a bunch of the same thing- implying that they'd made it themselves- there was a good eighty percent chance it had been acquired illegitimately, although mostly those illegitimate means were 'this did, genuinely, fall off the back of a cart' or 'I found it in a storm drain.'

But, well. My coworker, Rachel, had told me about the market by way of complaining that she'd had to buy back her stolen antique cutlery from a vendor, so I figured this was probably a good place to look for stolen property.

"Hey, who the hell do-" someone began as Cass and I entered the square. It really wasn't all that big; only maybe a dozen, a dozen and a half people or so here, split between five vendors and a small gaggle of people milling about, examining things carefully.

"Relax, I'm just here to buy something," I said casually, projecting my voice to be heard over the very small crowd. My voice had always had a pleasing timber to it, but now, with my Presence maxed out, it was like sweet honey, rich and deep with woody notes. "This is a market, after all."

Before coming here, Cass and I had put on masks- of the sort that concealed your identity, rather than protected you from airborn particles. She'd chosen a full-face mask in the style of a bear, and I had gone for an upper face mask styled like a crow, with a hard protrusion in the mask extending over and past my nose to form a beak.

"It is indeed a market," one of the vendors called out. "Distinguished sir, I must say, you do seem as though you're in the market for something nice, and if you are, then I simply must recommend perusing my humble wares first."

A quick accounting of the vendors and their goods informed me that... yeah, she was right. The other four were just selling random working-class second-hand shit, and while I did feel a truly unaccountable urge to buy that one beat-up guitar, I reminded myself that I didn't even know how to play the guitar, and refocused on this fifth vendor who was selling suspiciously nice items at suspiciously low prices.

This one, right here, was my fence.

"I suppose I have the time to humor you," I said with a shrug, stepping forward and weaving through the crowd to approach the vendor.

She had the bearing of a canny merchant, but the appearance of a weatherbeaten vagrant; her ill-fitting clothes were stained, wrinkled, and torn in places, yet under that outfit was someone who had a lot of experience in using body language to mislead and manipulate people.

"So, friend," I said quietly, stepping up to the table. "I'd like to cut you in on a little business deal, here; I think you'd find it quite interesting."

"Oh, really, now?" the vendor asked.

"You see, I've heard the city guard is planning a new... initiative," I lied. "I'm sure you've heard about the recent uptick in muggings around these parts- terrible business, you know. Well, you see, the guard knows about that too, and is planning to start putting a bounty on stolen property, so that they can return it to its rightful owner. Now, obviously, I would never dare to insinuate that you deal in stolen goods, but alas, the city guard is not nearly so perceptive as I am." I leaned forward, propping an elbow on the table and giving her a good look down my dress. "So, here's my deal for you: I want to buy all of the merchandise you have on display here. From there, I'm going to trick the city guard into believing it's someone's stolen property I managed to recover, and collect the bounty- the guard is largely made up of ex-delvers, after all, and we all know delvers don't know what things are really worth. And you, my friend, benefit from this because you no longer have to sit here all day, trying to sell your... refurbished scratch-and-dent trade goods."

"...I think I like the cut of your jib, good sir," the vendor said quietly, a grin spreading across her face. "Each of these beauties, sold individually, would add up to nearly eight gold pieces, but if you'd be taking all of them off my hands at once, I'm quite willing to part with them all for only five gold pieces."

"Now, now," I chided gently, smiling a little. "Just because the guards don't know what things are worth doesn't mean I don't know what things are worth. I work at the docks too, you know? What you have here couldn't have cost you more than two gold altogether, and you can easily get this quantity or more over the course of a month, so three gold is what I'm willing to pay for this lot."

"Mmmn, you're a quick one," the vendor said, rubbing her chin.

"But," I said, before she could continue.

"...But?"

"But, I would be willing to pay the full five gold amount... if you sweetened the pot by introducing me to your... suppliers," I said. "I don't see you as a middleman to cut out, let me assure you- our business models are very different, after all, with you being more concerned with selling goods to people who actually want them, and myself being more interested in selling those same goods to people who don't actually care one way or the other."

"Hrm..." The vendor rubbed her chin, humming quietly. "...Well, as a matter of fact, I do most of my business with them through correspondence; we're all busy people who don't strictly need to see each other's faces to do business, after all. But... as it so happens, I can cut you in on those correspondences, and show you to the... shall we say, delivery location."

"Do you two cryptic fucks mind?!" someone shouted from behind us. "I'm trying to buy a new shirt for my kid, here! Go have your weird-ass gangster talk somewhere else!"

"We were just leaving!" the vendor called, before sweeping everything on the table into their inventory, followed by the table itself- it folded up surprisingly compactly. "Follow me, friends."

"Well, that was productive," I said to Cass as we walked off.

"Was it actually, or are you just making yourself feel better?" Cass asked.

"The fence buys stolen goods via a dead drop," I explained. "And they buy in bulk. So this is actually an organized bandit gang, and not just a bunch of random, unconnected muggers in the same area."

"Alright, that's something," Cass said. "Is that really worth five gold pieces, though?"

"Well, no, but we didn't just get that," I said. "We also got the location of the dead drop, and that is the big deal. The fence leaves a bag of coins to pay for the goods, and then the gang takes that back and leaves goods in its place."

"Okay, that's something," Cass began.

"So, it is very likely that I can use an inconspicuous pseudofamiliar, like a crow, to sit around here, watch for the gangsters, and then follow them back to their hideout," I said. "A pseudofamiliar that I already have, in fact!"

"...Okay, yeah, I'm beginning to understand how productive that was," Cass admitted. "But, well... then what?"

"In fights like these, finding your enemy is the hard part," I said. "Beating them is just a victory lap. Trust me, I've got a plan."