58 — More Than One Side to Everything

Su Ah's POV:

She removed her headphones for the first time in nearly three hours and stretched, a tiny crackling sound filling the quiet of her room. The monitor glared at her in the dimmed space. Su Ah glanced at the time at the lower corner.

03:12 AM. Twelve minutes after 3.

It was very, very late, yet Su Ah felt oddly content as her mind went through the last three hours, and a grin slowly tugged on her lips. It wasn't the first time she'd done it, but it was the most rewarding time. Her writing was coming along nicely, and she was very proud of her work. Of course, to get there, to unlock that potential, she had... she had to—

Su Ah stopped thinking and checked the doc, making sure it had been properly saved, before shutting off the monitor.

Her mind was buzzing with thoughts.

What to do now?

Sleeping... that was a good option.

But she was awake enough that it would probably take a while.

Stretching out again and rolling her shoulders to ease some of the stiffness that built up, Su Ah swiveled and got out of her seat. Standing up, she looked around. Uh. She needed to pee.

So she walked to her door and exited the room to the bathroom that was a little ways down the hall. But her feet stopped moving as the TV screen in the living room flashed, barely visible from her vantage point in the hall.

The colorful flashes of light draped over the wall next to her. Su Ah arched an eyebrow as she leaned in to take a peek. A movie was playing—some foreign horror movie, if all the exaggerated amount of blood flying around was anything to go by—but the sound wasn't on, which was odd. Her curiosity got her, and she made her way to the couch.

As Su Ah approached the source, she stopped dead at the bottom of the stairs. The TV's blue light flickered across the living room. The couch had the familiar shapes of her siblings, but there was a detail that wasn't so usual.

Jae-il, sprawled on the couch, utterly asleep, his chest rising and falling in slow, even breaths. And Mia. Her Unnie. She was poised above him. Still. Tense. The kind of tension one would have when reaching for the cookie jar, knowing they'd be proihibited from doing so. Mia shifted, thighs padding gently down against the couch as she settled over her little brother's lap. Her hand rested lightly on his cheek, the other gripping the backrest.

Su Ah watched in frozen silence. The sight was surreal. She didn't even want to know how or why Jae-il was there, knowing his schedule. Clearly, that wasn't important.

The blanket they must have been sharing slipped off of them, pooling up on the floor, forgotten.

Jae-il looked almost peaceful. His eyes were shut. His breathing slow and unbothered. Not a worry in his head. Not a thought for what was happening to him.

Mia tilted her head as she studied Jae-il's face with the same intensity Su Ah herself would have when staring at a blank doc page, willing the words to appear. Her fingers began to slowly stroke Jae-il's cheek. Her head lowered slightly. Then rose, and lowered, and rose again, in tiny, rhythmic motions.

It took Su Ah a moment to understand that Mia was rubbing their noses together. Their lips were so close. All it would take was a gentle nudge, and... and...

Su Ah drew in a shuddering breath.

Mia let her body relax as her eyelids grew heavier and her hands continued to roam Jae-il's face, stroking him, her eyes tracing his features

Su Ah's hands went up and she clasped them tightly over her mouth and nose to muffle a gasp. The scene in front of her felt like a punch to the gut, as Mia pressed herself down upon her little brother's body, straddling him in a wrong way. Not that straddling a sibling could be 'right', but Su Ah liked to believe there might have been circumstances where it could've been more acceptable.

​Nonetheless...

It was disgustingly wrong on so many levels. It made her skin crawl to think of it.

'This…' Su Ah's heart started to pound rapidly in her chest, a heavy, hard thumping as the adrenaline raced through her. Sweat began to break out over her skin despite how cool the night was and how close the AC was in her room, chilling it. Perhaps, the worst of it was not how gross it was, but the bristling jealousy and confusion that it made her feel. She could've swapped Mia with any other girl, and she'd have had a similar response.

Mia's expression was something Su Ah couldn't hope to understand. It wasn't anything like the one her sister showed when they were alone. Her smile, her eyes, everything. Even the way Mia's hand trailed along Jae-il's face was gentle, caring. At points, possessive.

She could see the firmness in which she was holding him in place, despite Jae-il's slumbering state. The slight strain on her knuckles as she applied force.

Su Ah bit her lips as her cheeks started to twitch.

'No... that can't be right... I shouldn't think that... it's not appropriate...'

Su Ah struggled against the desire to think about it. The more she tried to fight against it, the worse the images got. And so she stood there, staring at them, watching. She swallowed, her mouth dry. Her hands clenched into fists. "This isn't right..." Even though she had no right to say that, because what she had asked of her brother wasn't innocent either—but she had never taken advantage of him when he wasn't lucid!

She arbitrarily made noise when walking all the way down. "Unnie?" Su Ah called out and watched with satisfaction as Mia jolted, almost falling off Jae-il. As the oldest sister looked up and spotted her younger sibling staring back, her face twisted in a mixture of horror and guilt.

"S-S-S-Su Ah—" Mia stammered, struggling to disentangle from the couch. She quickly composed herself, picking up the fallen blanket as if it'd give her the right alibi; Su Ah had to give it to her. "I thought you were asleep..." Mia finished with an awkward chuckle, a look of embarrassment mixed with panic written all over her features.

"Are you and Jae-il...?" Su Ah trailed off, leaving her unvoiced accusation to hang in the air between them as they faced each other in silence.

It was Mia's turn to shake her head. "No! Of course not, what are you saying?" She let out an awkward, high pitched laugh.

Su Ah didn't say anything else. What else could she say?

It was not like Mia did the unspeakable like her, but it was still... well, abnormal. That sensual pose. That look in her eyes. She didn't even know if Mia had blinked.

"It's late." Her sister said. She seemed tired. Almost resigned.

"It is indeed." Su Ah nodded, then tilted her head in confusion. "I didn't know he was back..."

"He came earlier and said he couldn't stay much."

"...Yeah?" Su Ah paused. "...Okay. He should go then... it's pretty late..." Her eyes moved up to Mia, whose expression was a bit strange.

It seemed... guilty?

"He's sleeping."

"Oh. Well, he'll wake up eventually, won't he?" Su Ah questioned, then continued. "In that case, why don't you go to sleep, Unnie? I'll stay with him. I'll wake him up when the time comes." She offered, gesturing for her sister to leave. "You should head to bed. Don't let us keep you. You're probably really tired anyway."

Mia stared blankly at her for a while. A conflicted expression crossed her features. Su Ah could see the battle of wills between desire and logic raging inside Mia. She coughed. "Su Ah, as the oldest sister, I should take care of our brother. Besides, I'm not sleepy at all. How about you go back to sleep and I'll be in charge of his wake-up call. I'll give him a kick and he'll be gone soon enough. Sounds good?"

"That's okay." Su Ah insisted. "You've been watching over him for long, Unnie. Besides... I'm the youngest. Let me take this one burden away from you, you deserve to be the first one to go to sleep, for once."

Mia frowned. "Now, now. That's just nonsense. We're family and family always watches over family." She said, matter of factly. "I'm perfectly okay watching over Jae-il a bit longer. In fact, I was watching a horror movie with him—"

"On mute?" Su Ah said, gesturing to the volume button being at zero.

"......"

Su Ah crossed her arms, waiting for an answer, then smiled. "So. It's fine if I do it instead."

Her sister didn't seem amused by her retort. Instead, she seemed rather upset at the way she'd been called out. So she stared at Su Ah, arms crossed, a curtain of hair obscuring one eye. Su Ah didn't back down as she sat there, one leg crossed, as were her arms. A spark seemed to ignite where their eyes locked. "Well, I'm not moving. This horror movie on mute looks incredibly entertaining. Don't you think so?"

"......"

Mia wasn't amused in the slightest. If anything, her eyes narrowed in a way that made Su Ah momentarily freeze. Yet another 'not normal' expression on her Unnie's face.

Unexpectedly, though, she huffed, laughing softly. "Alright, fair enough. Just wake him up, then. Make sure to kick him extra hard for me. He's going overseas and we won't get another chance like this. Maybe not for the next few weeks or so."

Then, her older sister's face grew somber. She was staring at the rise and fall of his chest.

A soft smile graced Mia's lips.

"...I'll." Su Ah swallowed, watching the way she was looking at Jae-il. "I'll wake him up in a couple of hours. Don't worry."

Finally, with a defeated nod, Mia left. But it wasn't until a full minute later—until her footsteps faded entirely up the stairs to the bedrooms, and all the lights in the hallway turned off—that Su-Ah breathed a sigh of relief and looked down at Jae-Il.

The image was striking. It was as though his entire body had melted into the cushions and pillows of the couch. He was still, like he had fallen into a deep coma, but Su Ah could hear his slow, even breaths in the otherwise silent living room. The only movement came from the rise and fall of his broad chest and his parted lips.

She was alone with him.

He didn't show any signs of awakening.

"......"

The memory of earlier resurfaced. Mia and Jae-il. Sitting so close to each other. Closer than normal...

Su Ah bit her lips and took her place on the other side of him, trying her best to put her mind at ease. "You..." Su Ah paused and inhaled. Then exhaled. She shook her head. And tried again. "What have you done to her...?" Of course, he wasn't listening, but her voice still sounded strange in her own ears. A low whisper.

No answer came.

A sigh. A shifting.

A shift in her own mind, a sudden decision that should've been thought and reflected over and debated, yet came easily to her, without any real hesitation. Su Ah reached out with trembling hands.

She caressed her brother's face, slowly dragging her hand down until she was cradling his chin.

Her eyes bore into Jae-il's face with an intensity that would normally make anyone squirm. Even unconscious, he seemed so cool and collected, which made her question even further how someone could seem so calm, so at peace even when they had such power. As far as she knew, Jae-il had seemed like he had all the answers. Nothing could faze him. And so she wondered, if Jae-il had seen this, how he'd have reacted. She imagined that he wouldn't react at all. Perhaps not outwardly, anyway.

Because he wasn't someone to have an outward reaction unless necessary.

But perhaps there was more than one side to everything...

Just like her.

After all, Mia's intentions could've very well been borne from innocence, and it was merely her who was projecting her thoughts upon that sight. Su Ah closed her eyes. She was surprised to feel a strange sensation creeping through her veins. Her body felt tingly as a new kind of excitement filled her.

Slowly, carefully, Su Ah reached down and brushed a stray lock of hair from his forehead, marveling at the softness.

She tilted her head as she looked down at Jae-Il's face, her eyes tracing every line of his features. Her fingers slowly dragged across his jawline, making a brief stop over his chin, right under his bottom lip, before finally, hesitatingly, pulling away.

With a sigh, she wrenched her gaze away. More importantly... "What have you done to me?"