190 — Discord

Mia's POV:

Mia didn't really like hurting her little sister. Just because she was jealous. Just because she was young, didn't mean that she had all the excuses to behave so ruthlessly.

Her mother used to warn them against holding onto grudges; grudges hurt nobody as much as they hurt yourself. Mia couldn't get rid of them, especially the one where it revolved around her love, and the competition for it, the hatred and desire to own it.

She remembered what happened in that cafe. She had been on the edge. One step further and the only times she'd be able to see her dear brother would have been during visiting hours in some psychiatric ward.

Ah, this hysteria and madness that had overtaken her...

No, she couldn't afford to have another breakdown and do something she'd regret.

And she couldn't stand seeing Su Ah cry.

They were siblings, after all, with a deep, underlying bond.

But despite it all, she couldn't bring herself to knock on the door or do anything right at all, even though she ought to.

Mia wasn't brave enough. At least, not ready. What's the use of apologizing when she hadn't calmed down? She might still blow a fuse and do more damage if she was provoked further, no, she definitely would.

Su Ah might've harbored a grudge, and if Mia offered an olive branch, her younger sister might turn up spitefully, slapping her offer and even breaking the branches in the process.

Her emotional reserves were running low already.

But, if she didn't apologize, then things would have gone nowhere.

So, what to do? How to approach her?

As Mia stood frozen outside Su Ah's bedroom door, the sound of another door opening made her stiffen. The bathroom at the end of the hall, across from her and Su Ah's shared rooms, opened.

And Jae-il walked out.

They both stopped at the same time, blinking and staring in surprise and shock. Jae-il had a towel loosely tied around his waist, beads of water gliding down his lean, toned body.

Mia swallowed, her eyes soaking in the sight of her nearly naked younger brother before her. He looked so incredibly good that it sent a shiver through her whole body. She wanted nothing more in that moment than to wrap her arms around him and drag him down into a crushing embrace.

"Noona?" His purple eyes sharpened when they landed on her tear-streaked face in the dim hallway light. He padded toward her silently, still damp from the bath. His hair was dripping water all over the floor, his skin glowing and beautiful and pink from the heat and moisture. His bicep and pec flexed with every graceful, heavy step he took. "Did something happen?"

"Yes, actually. Something did happen." Mia answered, rubbing her cheeks clean as she quickly recalled the brief argument with her little sister and its nasty ending.

She then hung her head and bowed, hoping that she would be forgiven by the only person she wanted to have a clear-headed mind with.

"I'm sorry, Jae-il. Su Ah and I got into an argument while you were showering. I... I know you two had fun on your trip together, and I... I..."

He reached out, his fingers trailing gently beneath the moisture tracks on her cheeks. She held her breath when his fingers slowly and gently brushed across her jaw before coming to cup her chin.

He lifted it carefully until her eyes met his.

"Noona...?"

"It seems..." Mia paused, not daring to look at him. "Su Ah and I had a disagreement while you were in the shower."

His eyes softened but stayed sharp. "Physical?"

She didn't flinch from the direct question. That was Jae-il—always cutting to what mattered. "She looks bruised, I suppose."

A soft exhalation escaped him, so faint she might have imagined it.

"I suppose I do as well."

Something dark and protective uncoiled within her stomach at his expression. Hysteria rose with it—a desire to explain how every feeling twisted inside her whenever he was near, how watching him care about someone else made her want to do terrible things. How jealousy was a corrosive thing inside her.

She squeezed that feeling hard, stuffing it down where it couldn't touch him.

Mia wished Jae-il would never see this obsessive side of hers that no amount of therapy, medication, and therapy again could have him change his perception.

Because, let's just be honest—that would spell the end of their relationship as siblings and lovers, all the way down the drain.

And she didn't want to fuck her situation up more, because she realized how great it felt. This thing she had with Jae-il. Even with Su Ah buzzing around like an annoying fly.

As his big sister, Mia wanted to make sure that her sweet little brother's life wasn't burdensome. Certainly not because of her.

"I made a mistake, Jae-il." As such, Mia threw herself into his arms, pressing her chest firmly to his and hiding her face in the hollow of his neck. She shivered slightly at his wet-chilled body. But her arms came up and wrapped themselves around his bare waist, snuggling in like an overly affectionate cat.

He smelled incredible; freshly-washed, sweet and masculine. Mia inhaled deeply, eyes fluttering.

"You should apologize..." Jae-il said softly as his arms came around her.

They swayed a little on the spot.

Mia shook her head against his skin. "I can't..." Her voice was muffled by his chest. "She was already so angry... we'll probably end up fighting again."

"What happened exactly, Noona?"

"She told me... that the two of you... had sex." Mia's words were quiet, a little accusatory, as she tilted her chin to look up at him, eyes narrowed. "And in detail." He felt her fingers curl against his back, clutching harder. "She told me you came inside her... Jae-il!"

"That... that was a lapse of judgement, Noona." He sighed, not exactly ashamed but definitely mortified. And he should be! Mia huffed. "I didn't mean to... Su Ah Noona took a morning after pill earlier, so there should be no risk. I guess I was a little too pent-up from our last time together, and I wasn't thinking at all."

"I'm pissed, Jae-il." Mia whispered, taking a step back to cross her arms and give him a disapproving glare. "We've done it so many times and you've never ever done that with me! Am I that horrible a fuck?!"

"You are an amazing fuck." Jae-il said evenly. "You have been more than once, actually. But what happened was because of the heat of the moment."

"Heat of the moment." Mia echoed, wrinkling her nose. Her arms lowered to her side, and her eyebrows rose in mild skepticism, because, wow, that was the stupidest fucking excuse she'd heard in her life.

She didn't take kindly to excuses either, or to justifications. But she held her tongue. Mia didn't want their night to end on that sour note.

"Yeah, Noona... it happens."

"You took Su Ah's virginity." Mia sniffed. "And it just so happens, the heat of the moment causes you to lose your mind."

Jae-il rolled his eyes, adjusting the towel around his waist. "I took your virginity as well, Noona."

"But you've never come inside—"

"And Su Ah has never taken mine. But you did."

"......"

There was something very special, she thought, about losing your virginity; no matter which side of that coin you were on.

"I shouldn't have done that, Noona." Jae-il added, reaching up to gently caress her cheek.

Mia's eyes focused on him again, her own hand coming up to rest on his. "You shouldn't... but... I forgive you, baby brother. You made a mistake. As long as you make it up to me later."

And she knew very well how he'd make it up to her—he knew it too.

Her finger traced a wet trail from his chest all the way down to the knot of the towel around him.

She was tempted to kiss him, right there, against Su Ah's bedroom door, and keep it up until all the unsexy thoughts vanished from her head and his and they forgot who, and what, and where, and when, they were and fucked until sunrise.

It would've been even better if Su Ah overheard everything too.

But no. They had to be cautious and shit.

Jae-il nudged her back gently. "Promise me you'll try to talk to her tomorrow. Calmly. You hear me?"

"I'll make it up to you, I promise. B&B?" Jae-il shot her one of those boyish grins of his.

"With bubbles?" She couldn't help but smile.

"All the bubbles you want, Noona."

Ah, what a relief, what a blessing.

"Good." Mia said, trying not to swoon.

He always knew just what to say to make her happy. Mia threw herself at him again, hugging his neck and pulling him in. "Thanks, baby brother~"

"You should go to bed. It's late."

"But what about Su Ah?" She asked softly.

"Let me talk to her." Jae-il said, slowly pulling away. "Y'all have been at each other's throats too much lately. It's clear to me you two aren't capable of discussing whatever problems you might be having without getting so heated. I'm hoping we can all sit down and talk about it soon. For now, promise me you'll apologize to her tomorrow."

Mia bit her bottom lip. "I'll try..."

Mia and Su Ah have never assaulted each other like this; well, Mia, at least, had never landed a hit on her before, and didn't know how to handle such an awkward situation.

Still, Jae-il was right...

It wasn't going to be an easy fix.

But no more shouting, punching, or swearing, or attempt murdering. They were going to make an attempt at actual communication.