133 — Adding Fuel to the Flames II

Su Ah's POV:

Su Ah would have taken personal offense, because come on, she didn't exactly seek him out to get berated like this, but for some reason, seeing his irritability... it made her smile a little.

This time, though, she kept it tucked.

"Not in the mood for what?"

He leaned his head against a tree. The leaves swayed gently overhead. He closed his eyes. "For what always happens when you show up like this, out of nowhere."

"And what's that?" Su Ah inquired, tone and face casual.

He opened his eyes to stare at her. "Why did you come? For real, Noona."

She tapped her foot, as if to emphasize her words. "Already told you. Wanted to congratulate you."

"Congratulations..." Jae-il parrotted, mindlessly.

She wrinkled her nose, huffing. "Seriously, Jae-il... what's wrong with it? Can't I even come visit you anymore, is that it?"

Jae-il didn't seem convinced and was most likely searching for any trace of insincerity in her, but it was impossible, because Su Ah had no reasons to lie to him. Well, apart from omitting some other personal, minor things, but nothing he had to know anyway.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" He frowned.

"Like I'm stupid."

He narrowed his eyes.

Su Ah mirrored him, raising an eyebrow. "Tell me. Tell me why you're staring at me like this."

He shook his head. "Because you know better, Noona. That's why."

She was pretty sure he didn't mean what that could've implied, so she asked, a bit irritably. "Know better than what?"

His eyes bored into her. And just when she thought the silence would stretch on forever—

"Would you stop if I kissed you right now? Once and for all. All this stupid shit... if I gave you what you want?"

Ah, crap.

There it was.

Those words shouldn't have a heart thumping wildly like a damn prisoner throwing itself against a locked door in desperation. But that's precisely what it was, that's what she was doing, that's how she reacted.

Pretending wasn't fooling anyone, that was the sad truth of it all.

Still, she didn't like the defeated, tired note in his tone. Like her feelings were a burden for him to carry.

Selfishly, though, she was more than willing to deal with the consequences if that's what her brother offered.

Her brain and heart were totally different entities working at cross purposes.

Su Ah had been thinking and dreaming and fantasizing, the past couple of days, about his lips, and all the parts of her brother she had yet to claim.

She had gone over so many scenarios. What she could do. What her brother might like. What he'd hate. She thought and thought, and somehow couldn't shake herself away from this irresistible craving and thirst. She was, to put it crudely, ready to hit that shit, but apparently Jae-il's other head wasn't cooperating the way she hoped.

Jae-il remained still, his eyes narrow, suspicious, waiting. "Noona?"

"You want to kiss me…?"

She whispered, a breezy, light smile buoyant on her lips.

So ready and willing to accept whatever was offered to her, unconditionally, selfishly...

"I'm willing to compromise one last time if it means you'll stop with... whatever you have planned. That would work better than whatever else it is you do, or try. Noona..." He gave her a serious, stern look—that of a concerned brother. "I know, in your mind, the scenario looks different. But do you have any idea just how damn close I was to… to…" He trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence, or remember it.

"Doing what...?" Su Ah dared him, tone oddly quiet and expression much darker than a mere few moments ago. She took a step closer, arms crossed.

Her cap was lowered, a shadow cast over her delicate face.

Jae-il ran a hand through his hair, roughly. "Fuck. Look." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Can't we be a normal, non-awkward brother and sister who don't think about those kinds of things...?"

"Think about what, Jae-il? We're not doing anything we should be ashamed of. As I said, I just needed better visualization and experience for my story... I'm not here to do anything strange or abnormal. And whatever we have, we're having under normal and proper family circumstances, right?"

"......"

"Right?"

A smile.

He sighed. "Not right..." He shook his head, re-adjusting his bag that was slowly slipping down his shoulder. "Drop the pretense and the excuses, we both know what this is really about..."

A siren, two blocks up, wailed briefly, then stopped. A beat of silence.

He met her gaze, looking expectant for her next words.

Su Ah breathed through her nose.

Jae-il continued, leaning further into the tree. "We're going around in circles. You get off on acting innocent and fucking with my head, and I've been letting you get away with it for far longer than I ever should have. So now, we're here. And you came with that agenda again, no matter what the reason is. Or what the pretense is... I'm not that dense."

"And how do you feel, little bro?" Su Ah lowered her cap further. He couldn't see her eyes now.

"It's messed up, and..." He spoke his next words almost indifferently. "Don't get the wrong idea. I love you, Noona. You are very important to me, and you know that I'll always support and have your back. But I don't think this will end well if we don't stop these sick games."

"......"

Su Ah felt her chest tighten. Her lips pursed.

She took one small step closer.

"Did you say this to Unnie too?"

The question slipped out before she could stop it.

Jae-il's head snapped back to her. Eyes wide for a second. Then narrow.

Su Ah didn't look away this time.

"Did you tell her to stop?" She asked again. "Did you tell her these are sick games? That it won't end well? That's it's fucked up? Did you look her in the eyes while telling her all these things?"

"......"

Su Ah exhaled, looking up, enough that now Jae-il could see her eyes.

"Answer, little brother."

Jae-il's eyebrows slowly rose, a trace of disbelief evident on his face. "What...?" He looked genuinely stunned, not unlike someone getting gut-punched, which was surprising and all too telling considering how good her brother was at masking his emotions.

Su Ah licked her lips. "You heard me right." She said, voice barely audible.

She took another step closer. And then another. One more and they would be chest-to-chest.

He didn't move away.

"Are you—" He inhaled. Exhaled. "Noona, what are you even saying—do you hear yourself?" He hissed.

A pause.

Panic? Su Ah's nose twitched. Yes, definitely a hint of it.

"Jae-il, you should've seen your expression just now... I hit the nail right on the head, didn't I...?"

His features hardened.

He didn't deny nor admit to the accusation. Not that he was ever going to, but Su Ah's suspicions were already at an all-time high. She had no tangible proof, but there was no need to go all the way and get a confession. After all, she knew, she had known. Mia's outburst the other day was the icing on the cake.

He could only stare at her, mouth tight. "Noona, please don't..."

Su Ah's lip curled, eyes flashing. "Don't what?"

His jaw tensed. "Don't go there."

"Don't go where...?" She murmured, shaking her head. "You know, if it were someone else, this would be a serious accusation. I'm aware. And I have no proof, but I know you... and I know Unnie. I've seen the way you talk, the way you act... and I've heard and seen a lot. Sometimes you two are really stupid, or just out of your minds. Maybe both. It was... the way you both behaved, and your reactions to certain things, a lot of tiny details and signs. I'm not blind."

He closed his eyes. Again. He neither denied nor confirmed.

Su Ah continued, shrugging. "You know... I'm not going to rat you out—if that's the truth. I'd have no reason to do so, but I'm a little pissed because there's clear favoritism at play here." She chuckled. A dry sound that made him wince. "Aren't I your sister too?" She whispered. "You've been treating me like this, when you have a thing with Unnie. That's just... wrong and unfair, wouldn't you agree? It's not fair at all. It's not equal. I'm also your sister. If Unnie needs to get intimate with you to feel better, and if that's what you want... why can't I have that too? Or is it that I'm not as good as Unnie? Or is it that you don't like me as much?"

"Noona." Jae-il said, low. "I have no such thing with Mia Noona. Please, drop it."

"You know what, little brother?" She said instead, taking the last step forward. His back pressed up against the tree, the bag strap slipping from his fingers and onto the ground. Su Ah's chest pressed to his. She was so close her scent was filling his senses. She could feel his breathing, how his ribs expanded and contracted, pushing at her own. It was strangely stimulating. "Let's do something a little more daring..."

"What are you—"

His eyes widened slightly as Su Ah leaned on the tip of her toes and gently placed her lips on his cheek. Whatever he was expecting, such… chasteness was not it.

His breath stilled, he did not push her away, though she felt his hand at the small of her back.

"Tch." She clicked her tongue. "You can touch me a little more roughly, like how Unnie lets you."

He let out a tired sigh, laughing weakly. "You really won't leave me alone, will you?"

She blinked, head tilted. "And why would I? As I said, I've got many scenarios in my mind that I'd like to try and live first-hand."

"You're really doing all this shit just for a story?"

Su Ah looked away, arms crossed. "... no." She said it so low she wondered if he'd even heard it.

"Unbelievable." Jae-il gently pushed her away from his personal space and began walking off, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. "Go back home, Noona. We have a game in two days. We'll talk when I get back."

Su Ah was not discouraged, she continued, like a madwoman on a mission. "That's fine... we can talk all you want. But a comet will soon be passing the earth's orbit." She declared, determined, in a casual fashion. "I'd like to watch it with you. After you win the finals, of course... just me and you. No Unnie or anybody."

The look her little brother threw her way before walking past her...

Well, he definitely wasn't fully disagreeing with the proposition, Su Ah reckoned.

She stood there, watching her brother go.

A part of her felt bad for being this forceful. She was smarter than Mia. More sensible, in a way. But just like that stupid Unnie of hers, she had feelings too, and she could give up on many things, but her brother was not one of those things.

Unfortunately…

For Mia.

And for him, too.

Because she'd go all the way, this time.