[Vol. 1 pt. 17]

“Lizamoo? That – that name is adorable, mon maître,” Lily said as no less than twenty low-level monsters surrounded me in a desperate attempt to kill me. They got pretty close to it, too. Of the tens of thousands of health points that I had… the monsters made me lose almost one thousand! Truly, such fearsome monsters.

Unfortunately for the monsters, Lily’s heals were enough to top my health off.

“You two would get along, I think,” I said before activating the famous spin-to-win skill of paladins. Spinning my body to slash with my sword and to bash with my shield, I killed the entire group of monsters in four and a half rotations of my body. “Get the quest drop yet?”

Lily shook her head.

“I remember how much of a pain this quest was. I must have farmed these monsters for hours by myself since I didn’t deal enough damage on my own to kill them quickly. Now I get to kill them all with a single skill. Going back to low-level zones to be overpowered has always been one of the most cathartic parts of MMOs.”

Our primary interest in the game might have been in the lewd parts of it, but there was more to do than just have sex all day every day. Besides, I already gangbanged her again using the goblins when she logged in earlier. Since I didn’t feel like doing anything too serious, I figured that I would help her out with some questing so that she could advance in the game.

Part of me also felt guilty since her progress came to a complete halt when she met me.

As for the quest I was helping her with, the quest giver was a widow who lost her husband to monsters and could not find her son. She was afraid that the monsters outside of their village might have gotten to her son, too, so the quest required players to go and hunt the monsters to find if her worries had any legitimacy to them. Unfortunately…

I killed another large group of pulled monsters.

“Got it! O-oh,” Lily said, realizing what the mysterious quest item was that she was looking for.

Mica’s Right Hand.

Before finding the quest item, the quest’s objective was simply listed as “Hunt nearby monsters for 0/1 ???” It was only after finding the hand that those question marks revealed what the required item was.

Fortunately, the quest chain ends up with finding out that the boy is alive. Injured and with one less hand, but alive.

At least the hand wasn’t actually a visible object or anything. All it looked like was a small, full sack with a bit of blood on it.

“M-mon maître! Is – is he alright?” Lily asked, looking up at me with wide eyes full of concern for the fictional boy. Something I learned about her by helping her quest was that she was actually pretty caring toward the game’s NPCs.

I could have told her that he was alright… or I could be evil and tease her about it.

Seeing as how I was a dungeon master, and dungeon masters were generally stereotyped as being evil, the choice was clear.

“Who knows? If he is alright, he could probably use a hand,” I said.

Lily’s eyes watered even more… before realizing what I said and pouting at me. “Spoil me!”

“Didn’t I spoil you enough earlier? How many times did you cum?”

“I – I don’t mean that kind of spoil!” she whined with reddened cheeks.

“Alright, alright. Do you want spoilers for the quest?”

She nodded.

“Alright. The spoiler is that the kid – oh, look, I just got notified that the pizza I ordered is almost at my place.”

“Mon maître!”

“Sorry. I got distracted. Anyways, what you find out is that the boy – I wonder when the next sexual event will be.”

“Mon! Maître!”

“It’s alright. The boy might not be alright, but it’s alright – whatever it is.”

Standing in front of me, Lily gently smacked closed fists against my chest while staring up at me. She looked absolutely precious. Seeing her like that made me tempted to take her back to the dungeon so that I could have some more fun with her. The cuter that she behaved, the more irresistible she was.

“Do you really want the spoiler?” I asked.

She nodded faster than I’d ever seen somebody nod before.

“The kid is fine. You find him during the last quest in the chain and then you escort him back to his mom, and she gives you this really good pie as a reward,” I explained.

Lily breathed out a sigh of relief. “Good, but the poor boy… h-he still lost a hand.”

“He gets a replacement in the quest after it.”

“H-how many quests are in the chain?”

“A ton depending on if you count the final chain, but you have to do all the quests in the village. There are ten or so standalone quests and four chains available now. Completing all of them unlocks the village’s final quest chain where the monsters band together and want to raid the village.”

“Wha-what happens?”

“Now that would be spoilers that I’m not giving you. It’s actually pretty cool.”

“Can – can you tell me the reward at least? Please?”

“A nice chunk of experience, some food, reputation, and… I think it was a necklace that should last you a few levels. Well, it depends on what you do in the quest. Those are the rewards if you help the villagers, but there’s a choice where you can help the monsters. All the murderhobos choose to help the monsters. Most of the perverts choose to help the monsters, too, because it… well, it leads to certain things happening to the villagers.”

“A-ah… I – I think I will help the village.”

“That’s my girl.” Saying that caused an adorable smile to spread across Lily’s lips. “If monsters want to fuck humans, that’s alright, but it’s got to be consensual!”

“Ri-right!”

“Though, I’ve got to say that it’s not really fair. The players who choose all of the ‘evil’ options unlock the awesome monster races. Going around doing all the final chains for the different villages to build up your reputation among commoners will get you some plain mounts and vanity items, but it’s kind of lame when it comes to unlocking race changes. There’s the one village that lets you turn into a cow girl or guy, but there’s no choice there to get a different result. If you go around destroying villages, stealing the women, and all that – well, you unlock races like orc, goblin, minotaur, troll, and other fun things like those. Why do the monsters have to be evil? Where my good monsters at? At least the manticore race isn’t locked behind evil choices, but it’s a pain to get.”

“How, mon maître?”

“First, you have to unlock the incubus or succubus race. Then I would have to do the quest chain that lets me either turn into a high incubus or a feral incubus depending on what path I choose. I would have to choose feral incubus, and then I would have to unlock a couple of feral monster races, and then I would get another quest chain that allows me to basically combine the different bloods inside of me to become a manticore. It’s a lot of work… but I’d also get a tail with a dick.”

“A – a tail with a dick?”

“Yeah. Manticore monster girls get tail pussies. Manticore monster guys get tail dicks.”

“How?”

“Imagine a tail but with a dick sticking out of the end of it.”

“A-ah. That… does sound nice.”

“Right? Too bad it’s one of the most pain-in-the-ass races to unlock, and it’s not even a part of the meta for how difficult it is. You get two types of venom: one that can paralyze and one that can arouse. The paralysis venom has no effect on anything even slightly strong, and the aphrodisiac poison – well, it’s great for sex but nothing else. You also get a couple of wings that can be used to glide and stronger limbs that boost your strength and dexterity a bit, but neither give enough to make it a viable race for PvE nor PvP. There are other races that are way easier to acquire and that give way more specialized, important bonuses. Manticores are basically only good for sex and nothing else. You won’t even see manticores who aren’t aligned with Lust for that reason.”

“I – I see! So… if I see a manti—… manticore, it means they are like us?”

“If by ‘like us’ you mean ‘they love sex,’ then yes. Nobody purposely goes through that slog of quests unless they want to use the race for sex and nothing else. Oh, you know what race I would rather turn into?”

“What, mon maître?”

“The minobus.”

“Minibus?”

“That is their nickname, but no. The minobus. It’s a hybrid between minotaur and incubus. Basically, you get all the physical appearance of a giant minotaur and all the sexual magic and perks of an incubus, including an even bigger dick.”

“Bu-but don’t minotaurs already have – already have… h-huge di-dicks?”

“Exactly. A minobus has an even bigger dick. Though… both the minotaur and minobus in this game kind of suck since they don’t have the right dicks.”

“What do you mean?”

“They have normal looking dicks. Minotaurs are supposed to have like, giant horse dicks. But, because censorship and laws exist, they only get to have normal dicks. Massive, normal dicks, mind you, but they’re still human dicks. They might be spotted and have bigger heads relative to their size, but… most of the fun of a minotaur is removed.”

Lily sighed. “I hate censorship…”

I placed a hand on her shoulder and nodded. “Same, Lily. Same. Fortunately, there are ways around it.”

“Like what?”

“I gave you enough spoilers already. All you have to know is that when you log off, I’m going to go and do something that should let me have some new fun with you the next time that you’re online.”

“Ehehe… I will look forward to it, mon maître!”

“Good girl.”

I was tempted to tease her about how she demanded spoilers when it came to fictional characters but not sex-related surprises. Did that mean she took the characters more seriously or the sex? I had no idea. All I knew was that our conversation lasted us until we reached the village, and then Lily turned in her quest and immediately began the next one.

She did not want to rest until the boy was reunited with his mother now that she had the spoiler of his safety.

Wanting to spend as much time with Lily as I could, I helped her with the rest of the quests. The next quest in that chain she was on involved hunting even more monsters for another rare drop to turn in.

If there was one thing that the game sucked at, it was its quest design. The quests were as generic and copy-paste as they could be save for a few important quests that had a dedicated writer to them. But, the genericity of them made them easier to zone out and grind through. Have to kill fifty monsters for a rare drop? Open up some music or a podcast to listen to in the background. Have to travel from place A to place B to talk to a person who then tells you to go back to place A only to be told to go to place C, then B, then back to A? Time to open up some videos to watch in a virtual window.

Being able to listen to and watch external media while inside of the game was probably one of the best things that the developers did for players. It was almost as if they knew the leveling and questing experience was mediocre at best, so they did what they could to make it as tolerable as possible.

Having somebody else to talk to helped, too, of course. Especially when that somebody was Lily. It helped that she loved simply listening to my talk and ramble about all sorts of things. Whether it was telling her about some funny mistakes I made during recording videos, random things I liked, or bouncing ideas off of her for future videos, she gladly listened to everything that I had to say with a smile too good to exist.

Eventually, we reached the climax of the quest chain. It started off with me clearing a path for Lily into a den of monsters where goblins, orcs, and wolves had gathered. If it wasn’t for me, it was possible that the orcs and goblins could have overpowered her and give her a “bad ending” of her own. But, since I was there and far stronger than the monsters were, the monsters didn’t get to so much as look at her for a single second before I cut them down.

“I feel like a roleplayer. A max level paladin in endgame gear going around helping those weaker than me,” I joked.

“Ehehe, mon maître is my hero!” Lily replied, holding her staff in front of her in her hands.

All she did was cast a healing spell on me from time to time. And, honestly, even those were unnecessary since my natural health regeneration was high enough to max out my health between monsters. I wouldn’t have taken any damage if I used any of my defense skills, but I wanted to let her feel at least a little bit useful. She was happy being carried, but she didn’t want to do nothing the whole time.

Then, just as I killed the rest of the monsters at the end of the den, she saw him – she saw the poor boy who was the target of her quest. Bloodied bandages were wrapped around where his right wrist, and the boy looked dirty, starved, and roughed up. Even if he was a just an NPC, Lily ran up to him and immediately tried to heal him.

Her healing didn’t exactly do much since he was supposed to look like that and had full health.

A couple of moments later and Lily realized that trying to heal him with magic wasn’t going to work, so she turned in her quest which was enough to shower her in golden light. She leveled up for the second time of the day.

But she was too concerned about the boy to pay any mind to her level up.

I could tell when the next quest was accepted since the boy got up onto his feet and started to walk toward the way we came from. It was finally time for every gamer’s favorite type of quest.

An escort quest.

Even in virtual reality, the boy moved at just the right speed to make it difficult to match him. Then there were the monsters respawning inside of the den that made him stop until they were dead. Then there were the scripted “ambushes” of monsters appearing out of nowhere to try and stop him from escaping.

It took minimal effort to kill all of them. Of course, even though I was the one doing all of the work, all of the praise went to Lily. She was the one with the quest, after all. All of the boy’s, “W-wow, you’re really strong!” and other phrases of praise were directed to her even if she wasn’t killing any of the monsters.

I may as well have been invisible to the boy.

Maybe it wouldn’t have been as annoying if Lily wasn’t doting all over him as they walked. She held his hand, patted his head, was quick to help him up whenever he tripped… and I swear that the little punk was purposely mistaking her chest for her eyes.

I felt bad for the kid when I did the quest for the first time. This time, I felt jealous that a little punk was getting all of Lily’s attention.

Only a little jealous, though. Nothing serious. It was more endearing than anything to see how gentle Lily was with him. I just wished that I was in his place instead.

Finally, we returned to the village. The boy’s hand finally left Lily’s so that he could run up to his mother and embrace her. The two NPCs shared many virtual tears that were not as emotional as the first time I saw them, and they weren’t the only ones to cry.

Lily tried her best to keep a straight face as her eyes watered at the sight.

“You’re adorable,” I told her.

She sniffled and said, “I – I can’t help it when children are involved.”

“You’d make a great mom. It makes me want to breed you.”

Lily nodded… and then she realized what I said. “M-mon maître! No-now is – inappropriate!”

“What? Are you saying you don’t want me to breed you?”

She showed me another of her cute pouts before saying, “N-no…”

“You’re too perfect, Lily.”