[Vol. 4 pt. 29]
Before I could move on to fuck the futa I still needed to fuck, I needed water.
Hydration was important, after all. Even though it was impossible to feel thirsty while fully immersed in virtual reality, unless playing one of those survival games that actually had hunger and thirst mechanics, our real bodies still needed water. Most headsets came with a built-in system that automatically reminded people at set intervals to get food, water, and to go to the bathroom.
My water reminder went off, so I temporarily parted ways with everybody to go and get some water.
But the simple act of getting water was never truly as simple as it sounded in my household.
“Hey, brat.” I could already tell that something was wrong just from the way that my mom called out to me. She had a… tone of sorts whenever something was wrong. Or rather, it wasn’t like anything was seriously wrong so much as she was just… confused.
I wasn’t going to be just getting some water. “What’s up?”
“What’s… a ‘nugget?’”
It was a good thing I didn’t have any water yet. I probably would have spit it out if I did. “Uh… context?”
“One of my friends gave this guy my picture and number. Told her not to, but she did. So, we’ve been texting. He actually turned out to be pretty nice… and he doesn’t look half bad, either. Has nothing on your dad, but I’ll never get laid again for the rest of my life if I expect anybody to be even a quarter as good as he was. Anyways, started joking around about my legs. You know. Make some jokes about it to bring it up in a non-totally-awkward way rather than just spring it on him out of nowhere. Then… he called me a nugget.”
Yeah. I absolutely would have spilled out my water if I was drinking any. “You… tell me what you think it might mean first.”
“Well, it probably has something to do with chicken, right? Like a chicken nugget? So, is he calling me a cock? But that doesn’t really make any sense. If it has to do with popping my legs off… then…” My mom froze, looked me straight in the eyes, and looked like she had a lightbulb appear over her head. “He wants to use my legs for penetration?!”
I couldn’t resist laughing when I heard that. “Please—please don’t tell me you’re serious.”
“Well, I mean, nuggets. Chicken nuggets. Chicken. Cock. Anything can be used as a dildo if you’re brave enough. Therefore, he wants to use my legs for some kind of kinky toy play. Right? What else would it be? He probably wants to try shoving one of my legs up his ass.”
“I can’t tell if you’re being purposely extreme or if you’re just dumb.”
“That’s what makes it fun, right?”
I had to give her that. “Do you really want to know?”
“Obviously. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know.”
“You might think you’re a pervert, but you’re pretty vanilla in the end. Anyways, a nugget is a person who doesn’t have arms or legs. So they just have a torso and head. They look… kind of like a chicken nugget. I think that’s what people had in mind when they came up with it, anyways? Honestly, I can’t imagine why else somebody would be called a nugget. But it has to do with not having limbs.”
“Huh. Well… I was kind of close at least. It still has to do with chicken nuggets. I wasn’t completely off.”
“I’ll spare your ego and let you think that you were close by assuming that ‘nugget’ has anything to do with fucking a man in the ass using detachable legs. Also, how old is this guy you’re talking to?”
“Don’t… don’t ask me that.”
“Mom. How old is he?”
My mom looked away and scratched the side of her head. “I—I told you not to ask me that.”
“Mom.”
“Twenty. At least his age doesn’t start with a one.”
I couldn’t help but to cringe as soon as I heard that. “Would you please stop considering hooking up with guys who are younger than me?”
“He-hey, don’t judge me. I thought you’re supposed to be accepting inclusive and not care about what anybody does as long as it’s consensual?”
“I am, but you’re also my mom, and I’m always going to have some personal bias when it comes to you. It’s weird when you hook up with guys who are even younger than me.”
“But guys my age are so boring! And I’m helping guys fulfill their fantasies of hooking up with a cougar! I’m doing a public service here! I’m an asset to the community!”
“You’re a cradle robber.”
My mom sighed and threw her phone away from her. “Fine. Don’t let your mom have any fun. Just let her shrivel up until she’s an old, wrinkly woman who nobody wants to fuck anymore instead of letting me have fun while I’m in my peak cougar years. What’s the point of being a MILF if the F never happens?”
“Not like you’d actually go through with it anyways.”
She flopped onto her back on the couch and sighed. “I know, but at least let me be reminded of how hot I am by a bunch of younger guys without making me feel like a creep over it.”
It wasn’t that I wanted to shame my mom or anything like that, but… they were guys even younger than me. Sure, she never actually followed through on her teasing to do anything with them, and basically just blueballed them… but it still just felt weird. I probably wouldn’t care if she wasn’t my mom. It would still be a bit weird to me, since there’s always something a bit weird about age gaps like that where one partner is twice as old as the other, but I wouldn’t complain as long as everybody involved was eighteen years or older and consenting. Well, and so long as whoever was older didn’t meet the person while they were underage. Then grooming became a concern.
But still. She was my mom. It was selfish of me, but I just didn’t want to think of her being with anybody younger than me who might meet me in an online game and go, “Yeah well I fucked your mom.”
“I’m going back to my room now,” I said after getting a glass of water. “Have fun robbing cradles.”
Before I could go back, though, she leaned up and asked me, “Hey, what… if I actually start dating again?”
“Then you’d start dating again.”
“I mean… would you be alright with it?”
“Of course I would. You’re a grown woman, aren’t you? You can do whatever you want.”
“Yeah but…”
“Dad would want you to, too. Do you really think he was selfish enough to want you to go the rest of your life without putting the F into MILF?”
Mom smiled and chuckled a little. “You’re right. But still… maybe that’s why I like younger guys. I know nothing will happen with them. But with any guys my age… something might actually happen, and I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”
“Well, just take your time with it. There’s no need to rush into anything. Take things at your own pace and make sure you’re comfortable.”
“Are you sure you’d be alright with it? I… know some kids get jealous when their single parents start dating again. Especially in widow situations.”
“I’m not going to feel like you’re cheating on Dad or anything, and I’m only going to get jealous if anybody else starts calling you momborg.”
“I’ll kick anybody else who tries, alright?”
“Deal.”
“But seriously. I want you to be happy, alright? Don’t worry about me, and don’t worry about Dad, either. Be selfish. Go find some hot, middle-aged guy with a salt-and-pepper beard, and teach him all about what it means to be with a nugget MILF.”
“Wait, I’m already a MILF, so am I a NILF, too? A ‘nugget I’d like to fuck?’ What about a MNILF? ‘Motherly nugget I’d like to fuck?’ I like that. MNILF. I bet nobody else alive is a MNILF.”
“Yeah, yeah. You can be a MNILF.”
“Oh, tell your girlfriends I’m available if I’m going to start dating.”
“I don’t think they’ll be interested. Also, what’d I tell you about going for people your own age?”
My mom kicked her thigh stubs around and whined. “But they’re so cute! I want your girlfriends for myself! Come on, share them with me! Or just give them to me. You can go find some new girlfriends. You can get a girlfriend just by walking around outside for five minutes. It’s harder for an old, fuckable, motherly nugget like myself.”
“If anybody ever questions why I am the way that I am, I’m just going to let them talk to you for five minutes.”
She stuck her tongue out at me before flopping back onto her back. “Thanks, by the way. I’m still going to feel insecure about it, but… it helps knowing you won’t feel bad about it.”
“As long as they’re not younger than me.”
“Yeah, yeah. Go back to hogging your girlfriends all to yourself or something. Geez, I didn’t raise you to be so selfish.”
I was already done with my water before I could even get back to my room. “Don’t worry,” I said while refilling my glass. “I’ll get even more girlfriends to make you even more jealous. I’ll have so many girlfriends that we can take up all the space on the couch, and you’ll just be forced to stand there, watch, and pout.”
“I’ll just drag you off the couch and take your spot in the middle of them all. I’ll surround myself with your girlfriends and show them what it means to be with a real man.”
“But you’re not a man.”
“I can be with my legs, apparently. Remember, anything is a dildo if you’re brave enough.”
“I don’t think any of them are brave enough to try getting fucked by—”
Wait.
No.
That wasn’t true.
Lily… would probably consent to me trying to penetrate her with a prosthetic leg.
“Damian,” my mom said. “It would be Lily, wouldn’t it?”
“I… I’m not saying that,” I replied.
“Trust me, I can tell. She’s totally the type who will try anything else, even if it’s with a prosthetic leg.”
“Please don’t think about fucking Lily with a prosthetic leg, you degenerate nugget.”
“What? You afraid I’ll steal her away with my legs?” She picked her nearest leg up off the floor and waved it around a little. “You can’t compete with this length and girth.”
“Please don’t compare the size of my dick to your prosthetic leg.”
“Then give me your girlfriends.”
“No.”
“Then I guess you’ll just have to deal with me stealing them via the power of prosthetic legs.”
I took one of the ice cubes out from my glass and threw it across the room at her. Honestly, my luck ended up being incredible seeing as how it smacked her right in the face before sliding down into her shirt. She flailed around in a panic after that to try and get it out of her shirt. Seeing as how she wasn’t exactly all that dressed and her top was left mostly unbuttoned, I had to turn away just because I didn’t want to see her accidentally flash me.
That reminded me of when I was a kid and would have friends over sometimes. My mom never covered up as much as she should have, and my friends had every intention of checking her out whenever she was in the same room as us.
I made sure they couldn’t.
Now, I was not somebody who believed in choosing violence when it came to resolving problems.
But I absolutely believed in violence whenever my friends were checking out my mom.
Though, to be fair, it wasn’t like I abused them or anything. All I did was smack them with pillows and then kick their asses extra hard in whatever game we’d be playing at the time.
“Jerk,” my mom said, presumably after getting the ice cube out from her shirt.
So, I turned around again. I needed to face her direction if I wanted to get back to my room anyways.
That was a mistake.
She had unbuttoned her shirt even more and was basically left in only her bra, and I didn’t need to learn about what kind of bras she wore and the fact that they looked too small on her.
Thankfully, she didn’t notice that I saw her. I could tell because I knew she would have been teasing me about it if she did notice me.
She did, however, say, “See, now this would be the perfect time if your girlfriends were over here. I’m already half naked, so I could tease them about getting completely naked. Plus they’re gay, at least enough to like each other, and I have a pretty nice body, so I could totally seduce them like this.”
Seeing as how she had it in her to ramble, it was probably safe to turn around again.
It wasn’t.
I turned around while she was in the middle of adjusting her bra.
And she noticed me that time.
As soon as I turned back around, she said, “Heh. You’re lucky I’m not degenerate enough to tease my own son.”
“I’m ignoring you now,” I replied, walking backwards with one hand against the wall so that I could figure out where I was going.
“Maybe I should text your girlfriends a picture of me like this. I haven’t texted them in a few days anyways.”
I forgot that my mom even had their numbers. She wanted them in case anything happened to me while I was on vacation with them, and apparently she’d been talking with them every now and then ever since then.
I was going to have to find out what sort of things they talked about.
“My girlfriends don’t need to suffer from your sexual harassment,” I said and sighed.
“It’s not sexual harassment if they like it,” she replied.
“You’re like a perverted old man.”
“I know. I’m great.”
Finally, I reached the hallway I needed to go down and could walk without going backwards. Though, just out of habit, I ended up looking over my shoulder at her before leaving… and saw her covered up again as she stuck her tongue out at me.
As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I had full faith in her being able to seduce Lily and Akorya if they weren’t already dating me.