Failed attempt

"Phew... I finally escaped..."

Stumbling out of the house but completely dressed and tidied up to head to school at Carmilla Academy, I let out a long sigh of relief after surviving the sudden marker attack from the tiny straw dolls, deciding to get back to my daily routine.

"Well, Sara, I'm counting on you for the car ride."

So with that said, returning to our previous topic and completely ignoring the mysterious disappearance of that creepy teacher—whose absence absolutely no one at school seems to care about anyway—...

"Yeah, Sara's on it."

Waiting patiently for me outside the house was Sara.

"..."

She had gone out a bit earlier to start up the repossessed car that originally belonged to my biological father. Yes, that very same car that was sadly claimed and "confiscated" by the man currently occupying my biological mother's body after winning custody in court.

... Now that I think about it... Every time I recall that, I feel more and more sorry for that poor man... He didn't just lose the love of his life, but also his resources, and even a huge chunk of his reputation plummeted drastically due to the awful rumors (possessed) mom took it upon himself to spread.

"Honestly, I'm a bit curious about how he's doing..."

Anyway... Sara is taking the wheel!

So leaving all of that aside, it's time to get back to what truly matters to all of us (and when I say all of us, I mostly mean me). Drumroll, please...

(Rattat-tat-tat!)

And intuiting exactly what I was thinking without me needing to utter a single word, just like last time, a tiny straw doll popped out of my uniform pocket and executed a swift, perfect drumroll using its miniature straw arms.

Have I mentioned how much I'm liking these little ones more and more?

"It's time to select my friendship options!"

That's right. Believe it or not, there are still regular, ordinary people in this world—or at least I'd like to believe so—who meet the minimum criteria to be considered my "normal" friends.

So let's talk about those people who shouldn't have any issue whatsoever becoming my friends without viewing me as a romantic rival or a romantic interest!

You see, my first logical choice was a very select group of girls belonging to different grades, clubs, and electives. They possess overwhelming talent, prestige, striking beauty, and an elegant demeanor among many other things that make them stand out above anyone else walking through the halls of Carmilla Academy.

Thanks to that, people refer to them as the "Princesses"!!

And before you ask if they gave themselves that nickname... The answer is a resounding no!

It turns out that the title of "Princesses" was arbitrarily bestowed upon them by the rest of the student body through popular consensus, born out of admiration and deep affection for the group, even though they don't actually have a real or close relationship with one another.

Which brings us to the big question: do they meet the requirements I established earlier?

So with that said, ladies and gentlemen, let's check!

First: Are they popular enough not to get intimidated by other people's jealousy?

Answer = Yes!

Second: Do they lack any weird or absurd romantic rivalry with me?

Answer = Yes!

Third: Are they relatively "normal" without being the reincarnation of an ancient god or evil masterminds planning world domination?

Answer = Yes again! (Or at least I hope so with all my heart).

... Indeed... They meet absolutely every single criterion!

"They are simply perfect!"

The only real flaw they have is that they are female... And due to that tiny, minuscule... yet extremely crucial detail, I originally couldn't consider them as potential friends.

For what reason?

Well, in the past, I couldn't approach any woman without the constant threat of (possessed) Mom potentially killing me on the spot while screaming something like: "If I can't have you, nobody will!".

"Today is a beautiful day! Isn't it Echidna?"

But as if by magic or a genuine miracle from the heavens... Today he actually gave me permission to make "friends" with girls!

<".....">

Granted, he looked like he was suffering immense physical agony when he said it (he basically threw up blood from suppressed rage), so I'll try to give him some time to calm down before doing something as drastic as friendly interacting with other girls.

With that option postponed for now, we are left with the second most viable alternative: a low-profile classmate who usually sits in the back of the classroom right next to the window.

Want to know who he is?

Well, brace yourselves for the big reveal... His name is Ken!

He has normal looks, normal grades, and a completely normal reputation. Even his haircut is the most generic thing in the universe! He is the textbook definition of an NPC. And before you ask how someone like him meets my requirements... well, it's actually quite simple.

Despite everything I've said about him, the reality is that he excels tremendously when it comes to physical attributes! Even if he doesn't look like much at first glance and despite his common appearance that borders on being completely forgotten by everyone if you don't pay attention—which is precisely why it took me so long to notice him in the first place...

The guy is gifted with insane athletic talent!!

Plus, Echidna didn't sense anything anomalous or suspicious about him!

<"... Interesting... When you get excited, your eyes seem to glint..."> (Murmur)

So, armed with all the confidence and warmth in the world, I walked up to his desk ready to initiate a beautiful friendship...

"Get away from me!!"

... Only to be brutally rejected as he bolted out of his seat and ran away from me as if I were some kind of hideous monster...

"..."

Wait a second... What on earth just happened...?