Ch 6 – The path of no return, from which no man shall ever recover. Woe to thee who takes it, for not even the gods may save you.

The seconds ticked by, and our contesting stare continued. Each of us evaluating the other.

As minor as it seemed, it was important that I not be the first to look away. I couldn’t afford to imply any level of inferiority, though I couldn’t be sure if Lilis would see it as such. Showing submission even on a subconscious level could alter the dynamic of our relationship going forward. I had to establish my dominance, or at the least, convey confidence in my own strength and power, or the girl would walk all over me. I would even settle for a stalemate of sorts. Though if worse came to worst, there were other means of establishing respect from the girl.

Thus I stared at the admittedly beautiful woman in front of me: the prim, green-eyed Thorn Princess, the rose who would poison any prospective suitor, and my new roommate, as peculiar a thought as that was. Lilis Espir.

Her eyes searched my own for several long seconds, though I wasn’t certain for what. Then the girl’s nose scrunched up, as though smelling something foul, and her face jerked to the side in a sudden jolt.

“You smell like rotten fruit,” Lilis complained. She opened her mouth as though to gag, before looking at me with a scowl.

I ruffled from the insult, and my tail flickered behind me in agitation.

With the little pride I had left, I tilted my chin up in defiance. “It’s this stupid cape,” I complained, in what was most certainly not a whine. “It’s Kheln’s.” Several murmured curses followed after his name, as I grumbled at the teachers for not giving me any clothing. The humiliation was intentional, I was certain.

My hands clenched around the accursed fabric, undecided over whether to toss it aside in disgust or pull it further around my body. In what was probably the more questionable decision, I did the latter, not having the confidence to just cast the thing aside and stand there proudly in the nude.

Lilis turned back to eye me, her mouth shifting further into a frown. She sighed, and waved a hand toward the open bathroom. “Go shower. We can discuss what to do with,” she paused and chewed on the thought with pursed lips, “whatever this ‘roommate’ situation is afterward.”

I glared at her. The woman was brazen to try and tell me what to do.

A shower seemed simultaneously like a fantastic and terrible idea. Though I couldn’t deny that my body itched for one. Any excuse to get out of Kheln’s cape and feel clean again. I was going to burn it when I got the chance. Just to spite the man, if nothing else. Depressed alcoholic or not, how difficult was it to wash the damned thing?

“Fine,” I muttered tersely, wanting to be out of the cape.

I spun on the spot and tilted my head up with as much pride as I could gather. As I strode to her bathroom, I finally took a proper look at the strange room I was now expected to stay in.

Plants made up a large portion of it, filling the space to such an extent that they threatened to fully take it over. Many were smaller in nature, in small pots atop the tables, desks, and nightstands. At a glance, I recognized a few herbs, but most were distinctly unfamiliar. Others weren’t so inclined to staying within the bounds of their pots— climbing up trellises and even the girl’s bed posts. One extensive vine even made its way along part of the ceiling before drooping down to a window.

The room itself was oddly shaped, rather like a boxy ‘U’ with an entrance on the lower left. It was decently sized, much like my previous room or perhaps bigger. Yet between all the furniture and potted plants, the space felt distinctly cramped. At each upper end of the ‘U’ shape were four large windows, the morning sun shining brightly through. And within the inner walls was the bathing room. Even before entering, I could tell it was much larger than any bath room had any right to be. Though it was no surprise that the girl’s dorm would hold such extravagant rooms, and the Espir family was well respected.

Thankfully, despite how cramped the area felt, it was also tidy—not a book, pot, or bit of clothing out of place along the sleek wooden floors. Had Lilis ensnared some lesser girl into being her servant? The answer would tell me a lot about her. And what my next steps should be. It wouldn’t involve any domestic duties, that was for certain.

As I reached the doorway, my confident stride faltered, and my lungs released a heavy breath of air. Through it was a point of no return.

Postponing the inevitable, I turned back toward her. The girl sat off the side of her bed, in the middle of putting on boots. She paused with a curious glance my way.

“I, umm, I don’t have any changes of clothes.”

The excuse sounded flimsy, despite being perfectly valid. After all, I did need something to wear. I was not putting the cape back on.

“Yes, I gathered as much,” she replied. My eyes narrowed as I tried to work out whether there was a hint of sarcastic condescension in her tone. “You can use a spare uniform of mine for the moment, I suppose,” she continued offhandedly and looked back down.

Lilis finished tying her boots, and I gave her an expectant look. Well? Did she expect me to get it myself? As the green-eyed woman stood, she raised a brow toward me, until finally, a realization hit her.

Her eyes rolled. “I can place something on the counter while you’re showering, if you are too uncomfortable to come out in the nude. Just keep the door unlocked.”

I huffed and turned back to the bathroom.

Under her breath, I overheard the woman mutter, “Who’s ever heard of a succubus with modesty?”

Storming in, I gave the door a hard shove. It slammed shut, the thump echoing loudly throughout the bathroom and beyond. As I turned to glare at the room, it hit me exactly where I now stood. My eyes caught the mirror just a few feet away, reflecting the other side of the bathroom.

It was time for me to face myself—to face the grim and demonic depths of what the Under bestowed upon me, in a much more literal sense than I would ever prefer.

Looking through the mirror, I chewed on my lip as the bright glint of brass and silver reflected from the window across from me. Peeking out from parted shower curtains, a shower head hung above the smooth, marbled base to drain water. Just across from it was the massive brass tub inset in the floor and taking up a large portion of the room. It was large enough to comfortably hold four or five people, I was sure—almost more of a small pool than a proper tub. A similar faucet jutted out from the wall just above it. I could almost make out the carefully engraved runes that spiraled along the intricate piping. Were I to move a bit closer, I was sure I’d be able to identify them. My feet stayed stuck to the floor.

To my left was a bin, lingering oh-so-casually in wait of things to be dropped inside. I took a deep breath, and slowly reached up a hand toward my neck. With shaky fingers, I gently pulled at the cape’s strings. They loosened, and I caught the fabric as it began to slide down my shoulder. My eyes squeezed closed as I ripped the accursed cape off of me, tossing it in the general direction of the laundry bin.

A light breeze ran across my naked skin. I groaned and then slapped my face with both hands. This was ridiculous. I was being overdramatic! So what if I had a new—temporary—body? I’d faced far worse than something so minor. The tail coming from around my backside twisted and curled.

Gritting my teeth and gathering my meager amounts of courage together, I stepped forward in front of the mirror and opened my eyes. Battling against my great reluctance, I turned my head to meet the blood-red gaze of the succubus in the mirror. She stared back, her eyes slowly widening. Just below, I could see the small curves of naked red skin. My jaw clenched, and my face jolted to the side as my cheeks set aflame.

I knew that she was ‘me’—at least in a sense. But a small and terrified part of my mind screamed that it was some other cute demon girl standing bare to the world just a few feet in front of me. And demon or not, the instinct to turn my gaze was difficult to ignore. Somehow, my internal insistence that this body wasn’t truly mine only made things worse.

My gaze flickered to and from the mirror several times, as though thoroughly uncertain of where to look. Finally, I groaned, rubbing my face; rubbing those adorable crimson cheeks.

This—this was ridiculous! I was being ridiculous. Come on Gellin, just—just get it together. My teeth ground together in frustration. I could do this, I assured myself. I had to do this.

I stepped a bit closer, avoiding looking downward. The face first. The face was easy.

Deep, fiery eyes met my own. Or rather, I stared into glowing red pupils that were my own. For now. Just barely shoulder-length and black hair framed her face, the same style as I’d had before, but now a dark black instead of the blonde I was used to. I eyed it grumpily. I had liked my dirty blonde hair.

My reflection’s eyebrows creased and her lips shifted into a cute pout. Gah! That was not at all the annoyed look it was supposed to be! I glared harder at the reflection, and her annoyed yet pouty stare somehow only got cuter. The succubus’s cheeks began to redden.

It was truly mortifying. I was going to have to work on the angry glare, it seemed.

Two red horns parted up from the black bangs along the top of her forehead, the same color as her skin and seamlessly merging into it. I leaned closer into the mirror as I eyed them. They seemed so big, poking up out of my head with a gentle curve—each coming to a dull point several inches up. Yet I knew that compared to most demons I’d seen, they were quite small. What purpose could such delicate things even serve?

My fingers reached up and touched them both, and my eyes widened at the unfamiliar sensation. I could feel them—feel things with them. And they were sensitive. Fingers glided up their length. My body twitched and shivered, almost buckling beneath me. Pleasure lit up in the succubus’s face. Both hands jerked to my sides as I gasped, my tongue threatening to loll from my mouth. My tail swish in agitation behind me, and I watched with widening eyes as the demon’s cheeks darkened once more to a bolder red. She chewed on her lip, one sharp tooth poking out cutely. A slow breath of air fogged the mirror’s center.

Despite how clouded the reflection now was, it was perhaps the most adorable expression I’d ever seen.

I let out a groan and rubbed my face into my hands, once again frustrated with myself. She was not cute. I was not cute, or hot, or adorable, or, or any other similar descriptor.

A huff left my lips. I was stout, and manly, and maybe a bit on the short side, but—

I peeked back up to the mirror, hopeful in my search for a gaze that demanded respect and that stubborn scowl that came so naturally to me. Yet my face instead pleaded with a needy pout, as though begging to be acknowledged for just how adorable they truly were.

“Fuuuuck,” I groaned out, thumping a fist against the counter. This was terrible, a true disaster. Just what was I supposed to do with ‘cute’ instead of steely and intimidating?!

I shook my head and then pinched the bridge of my nose. I’d have to deal with that difficulty later. Turning back to the mirror, I growled at the succubus within. She growled back, her two most prominent fangs on display. Then my stomach gave a growl of its own.

I hadn’t given it much thought, but I was getting rather hungry. That wouldn’t normally be a problem, except…

Just what did succubi eat?

My thoughts briefly wandered—to places where they most assuredly didn’t belong. As my stomach let out another growl, I huffed and turned away from the mirror.

Sure, there were rumors that succubi fed off of, err, ‘sexual intimacy.’ But that was ridiculous, wasn’t it? I looked back at the demon in the mirror, as though she would have an answer. Nervous eyes met me back.

None of the proper texts I’d read mentioned such a thing. And it seemed like the sort of thing one would include for prospective summoners, didn’t it? It was an important detail! I stared at the reflected teeth, opening my mouth as though they’d give me a clue. The overall pointed-nature of many of them, if anything, suggested that I was perhaps more of a meat-eater now.

Or that demons were perhaps really into biting during—

I shook my head, stopping myself from finishing the thought through sheer force of will. Then, staring at the mirror, I made several other ridiculous faces. They did little to distract me.

Would I be able to survive this? What would I do if I did have to do something so debased as being pleasuring others for energy or sucking… sucking…

I shivered.

If it came down to it, I supposed that I would just have to starve myself. There was little chance in all of the Under that I was ever putting another man’s cock between my lips.

I glanced back to the mirror, feeling slightly ashamed at just how red the succubus’s cheeks had gotten. For the moment, I still needed to take that shower, which meant—

My eyes trailed down, pausing briefly below my reflections neck before glancing away to stare at the wall. Truly, this shouldn’t be that hard. I was a man, wasn’t I? Ogling was the sensible thing to do. Were I to imagine myself becoming a girl—something I’d shamefully done on several occasions in the past—then stripping and ogling myself was the first thing I’d think of doing. It was a normal, if embarrassing, fantasy.

So why was this so difficult? This was my body, at least in a sense. It wasn’t as though I was peeping in on some other woman. I was allowed to look. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. Then I looked back at the reflection, and slowly looked down.

Having finally given myself ‘permission’ to look over my—the—body, my gaze became stuck to the reflection like a magnet that slowly rolled down its form. Though for better and worse, I still struggled to see her fully as myself. Her neck was slender—its red, smooth skin flowing softly into narrow shoulders. I could feel the muscles in my arms, their strength feeling no different than it had originally. But in the mirror, her arms looked noticeably less defined than I was used to. I didn’t think I was physically weaker. Perhaps it was merely a case of them being smoothed by fat? Or mayhap demons had a different sort of musculature compared to humans.

I took a nervous breath as my eyes roamed onward and watched as my chest expanded, two breasts shifting up and outward as though posing for my observance. My eyes zipped away. Another breath filled my lungs as I brought a hand to my face. Cool fingers rubbed into my fiery cheeks, brushing up to my forehead, and then back down.

Part of me was embarrassed about being embarrassed in the first place. It made sense; I’d rarely ever seen breasts at all and certainly not this close or in this context. I’d never even dated before—something I would never admit to anyone, even my father. Perhaps had I been with another girl, I could have brushed the fear and shyness off. There were appearances to keep. Yet here, by myself, it felt insurmountable.

I looked back at the two red orbs, or were they more like a tear-drop in shape? A hand shifted up to grope beneath one. How did they compare to regular, non-demonic women?

I bit my lip. What a silly thought. Why should it matter how they compared?

The mirror didn’t go low enough to easily reveal anything below the belly, which meant either climbing up on the sink, my legs spread—an idea I hastily dismissed—or viewing what I could through plain sight and…touch.

I stared at the wide-eyed succubus in the mirror gawking back at me. Her lips parted to release a steamy puff of air as though she were on the verge of panting. Soft cheeks stood out, a  bold-crimson furnace against the milder red of her skin. As I gulped, she did so as well.

Then a low purr rolled through my mind. ‘I must say, you are rather delectable.’

My feet slid along the floor, arms flailing as I scampered away from the mirror as though the reflected succubus within had lashed out at me.

‘I’d be hot and bothered too if I woke up to see that in the mirror,’ she teased.

I spluttered, unable to put together any coherent words.

‘Vyxa got your tongue?’

Temptress! Demon! Get—get out of my head! Even my thoughts were a struggle to organize, not at all helped by my face’s slow shift into a hot, steaming sauna.

She snorted. ‘Were it only that simple, I would. Though that is something we’re going to need to discuss.’

As if I had any plans to discuss anything with a demon invading my mind.

A gentle knock rapped against the door, and I let out a small ‘eep!’ in surprise.

Lilis returned a loud sigh. “As much as I hate to ask this, do you… need any help?” I could hear the near-tangible plea in her voice to say no.

“What? Why would I possibly need any help?” I growled back, scowling.

“You’ve been in there not showering for nearly twenty minutes. And if you’re making some sort of mess on the floor pleasuring yourself in front of the mirror, or whatever it is you’re doing, I’m—”

“I—I am NOT,” I stuttered out, “d-doing that.”

Vaguely, I could hear her suspicious snort through the wooden door.

“I’m sure,” she said with as much sarcasm one could put into a sentence.

‘There’s nothing wrong with having—’

Shut. Up. I growled, both in thought and reality.

They were toying with me, both of them. If I hadn’t known better, I’d assume the two were colluding with each other.

‘We aren’t.’

The demon would of course say whatever she felt would make me the most suspicious. I ignored her internal protests and glared at the bathroom door.

Through gritted teeth, I grumbled, “I don’t need help, and I’m not doing anything of the such to the floor.”

“Well, I’ve other things to do besides waiting on you to shower. I’ll be back in a moment. Your clothes are in front of the door. Don’t disturb anything while I’m gone. I should note that some of the plants are quite toxic, in particular—for humans and demons, I’d expect.”

“I’m not some gremlin running around and destroying things,” I grumbled.

“Good. Then we shouldn’t have any problems.” Then further from the door, I heard her shout out, “I won’t be gone long!”

I sighed, and looked to the shower. My hands clenched into tight fists. With a generous amount of indignation still rolling within my gut, I marched intently toward the curtain, throwing it open. This was no time for useless idling. I shoved my embarrassment and other such useless feelings down into a deep pit, sealing them away and allowing forth the anger and annoyance I was far more familiar with.

All I needed to do was suffer through a short shower, and then I could get on with finding a way out of this absurd situation.