Ch 41 – Beware all those who enter here, for it’s umm, dangerous. Or you know, something along those lines…

To say that I was frustrated at being left to wait in the middle of the hall would be an understatement. The fact that being alone made me nervous only made it worse. Part of me wanted to chase after Lilis to the lavatory, despite my body not having such needs. A bigger part of me refused to accept that I was so weak that I couldn’t do something as simple as standing out in the hall alone in the middle of the day and while classes were going.

It just further served to show just how far I’d fallen and how reliant I’d been on my magic and protective charms.

The longer I stood waiting, the stupider I felt. Was I truly not able to defend myself? Sure, I didn’t have magic or a physical weapon in my possession, but you didn’t truly need those to break an arm. My encounter with Melkar made it quite clear that one’s biggest tool was their wits. After all, even the most dangerous of weapons are useless if the opponent is never able to use them.

I couldn’t help but think of what my father would be thinking of me right now, and knew that he wouldn’t see the pathetic existence that I’d become as his son. Not because my body had changed, but from how I cowered before the challenges facing me. Could I really afford to just stand here, waiting for Lilis to come back as though I were some puppy leashed to a post? Was I really this pitiful?

I clenched my hands into fists as I stared down the hall where Lilis had left.

If I wanted to truly be able to face my father with any shred of my dignity intact, I could not simply wait around for whenever Lilis was ready to help. This was something I needed to take on myself.

I took a step forward. Then another, until I was walking firmly down the hallway, my mind made up. I felt bad for leaving her, admittedly. But the truth was, my father wouldn’t show up when it was convenient for me or her. I didn’t want to think of what he’d do if he appeared only to see that I’d been piddling about instead of putting my all into becoming human again.

Lilis wouldn’t be able to protect me from him. She couldn’t even protect herself against the professor in class. Even the idea that I should be looking to her for protection was another symbol of how far down I’d fallen.

The more I thought about it, the firmer my resolve became. It was time to stop screwing around and get the last ingredient. Then the healer could make her potion and everything could go back to normal.

With everyone in class, the underhalls were quiet, much to my relief. I trudged through them, making my way toward the only way down that I knew of: the crypt entrance that Lilis had taken me through for one of her classes. This time at least, I was unlikely to encounter any of Melkar’s lackeys, but there was no telling what other dangers might lurk below.

I knew the smart thing to do would be to get my hands on another weapon of some kind, along with some food and water to bring with me—or in my case, blood. Chances were good that I could end up lost down there. But I also didn’t want to risk running into Lilis, given the time that obtaining such things would assuredly take.

I sighed, turning the other direction back toward the dorm. I would regret this, no doubt, but I would regret going beneath the school without any sort of supplies far more. After reaching our shared room, I quickly searched for anything that I could find.

The twin gods of luck were thankfully on my side today, as after stumbling around Lilis’s seemingly endless collection of plants, I found a simple blade that had been hiding within a drawer below a gardening pruner and even a flask full of more blood atop Lilis’s desk. I sighed, relieved that I would not yet have to go crawling back to that wretched healer. At least not yet. Hopefully not till I’d found this final ingredient and the potion could be made.

I’d have to thank Lilis later…after I apologize for abandoning her.

With a sigh, I stared around the room, as though this were the last time I would see it. It wasn’t, of course. Even if I were to find the ingredient soon, the potion was unlikely to be completed today. But it would undoubtedly happen in the upcoming few days. My tail curled around my leg as I stared at Lilis’s seemingly haphazard collection of plants. As annoying as the girl could be, she wasn’t all bad I supposed. Would I miss her when all this came to an end? Would we still be friendly with one another?

I shook my head and made my way toward the door. That was all something to worry about later.

Despite now being equipped, I felt…nervous. Not about going beneath the underhalls, oddly. The prospect of being alone down there didn’t truly bother me. No, for some strange reason I felt nervous about the idea of this all being so close to over. Once I found this last ingredient, Healer Aevn would make the potion and that would be that. I’d be back to being Gellin. I should feel relieved, so why did the prospect instead bother me? Why did I feel a building tightness in my chest?

I left the room, only to stumble back through the door as a figure nearly plowed into me. I blinked, catching my balance as two piercing green eyes glared into my own.

“L-Lilis?” I stuttered, looking the frazzled girl over.

She gripped the doorway, taking several deep breaths as she struggled to regain it. Had she run the whole way here?

“You really had to run off the moment I was gone, didn’t you?”

I frowned. “I’m sorry, but I really don’t have time to attend classes with you. I must insist.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I realize that you want to get this potion made, but doesn’t it make more sense to wait for when others can help? Why are you in such a hurry all of a sudden?”

I bit my lip, realizing that I wasn’t going to get out of this without an explanation, at least not easily. Lilis had classes to attend, and she quite sensibly didn’t want me out of her sight. There was bound to be another incident with Melkar before long. I would have to reveal something—to be at least a little vulnerable, as reticent as I was to do so—if I wanted her help.

“I received a letter,” I began, straightening my back as I stared her in the eyes. “From my father. He intends to meet with me soon, though I know not when exactly.”

“Is that really such a big deal that you couldn’t wait a few mere hours?”

I took a step forward, interrupting her in a shout. “Yes! Of course it is!” I huffed in annoyance. “I realize that you know very little about me and my family, but if my father were to see me like this, merrily attending classes and wasting my time away instead of doing something to fix my mistakes, being disowned will be the absolute least of my worries.”

She pursed her lips. “I suppose that makes some amount of sense.” Then after a pause, she continued, “Fine. Alright. Against my better judgment, I will skip classes just this once in order to help you. What is this last ingredient that you are so desperate to find?”

My lips were already parted, ready to argue my case further, only for me to realize she’d actually agreed to help. Had it really been that easy? That simple?

Still, I couldn’t help but feel reluctant to bring her along. It felt antithetical to what I was attempting to do, which was to prove myself capable. To prove that I was still my father’s son.

“Well?” she asked.

It wasn’t as though my father had to know. And I trusted Lilis to keep her silence about this were I to ask. The thought sat oddly in my mind. Did I really trust her so thoroughly? When had that happened?

Putting the thought aside, I told her about the final ingredient that the healer had assigned to me, the three argentum vicus, crystal-like flowers that apparently grew somewhere beneath the underhalls of the school.

“I’m vaguely familiar with them,” Lilis admitted, “but are you certain of her claim that they grow beneath the academy? It seems just as likely that she’s sent you on a wild chase for unicorns. Why would she not just go gather them herself if she knows their location?”

It was a question I’d pondered over myself. “I believe she claimed to be too busy. Or perhaps, too lazy. Not to mention that it benefits her to have me waste my time searching for them. She wants more of my blood for whatever foul concoction she’s planning to make.

“The woman might not even believe me capable of obtaining the ingredients at all, given what I’ve become. I’ll admit that I got rather lucky with the demonic heart. Melkar made obtaining it rather easy thanks to his own hubris. So long as I can prevent him from getting it back, it very much simplifies things for me. And if I cannot find the flowers there, whatever the reason, then I will have to simply find some other means to acquire them. It matters little how I get them, just that I do.”

Lilis hummed.  “I’m sure that I could ask my mother, but that would take time. And I imagine that you’ll be insistent on this excursion regardless.” I nodded. “Very well, then. As I already agreed, I’ll skip the rest of my classes, at least for today.”

I felt a wave of relief, followed by one of shame. I was far too reliant on her—far too weak. Would it have been better to have spent my time relearning how to use magic instead, such that I didn’t need to feel as though I needed someone around to defend me? That is, if succubi could even use magic in the first place. There was every possibility that such an endeavor would have been even more of a waste of time than everything else that I’d done.

I sighed, “Alright, grab whatever you need then, and let's go.”

Lilis gave me a brief look as though expecting me to ask nicely, before heading into the room and gathering her own collection of equipment, loading it all into a small backpack. Then finally, after far too much wasted time, we set off toward the forest.

In no time, we were facing the entrance to the crypt. The same small pyramid shrine to Mir, goddess of death. The bells dangling around it jingled in the light breeze, making the scene far more eerie than it needed to be. We moved through the entrance and down into the long, winding stairway.

I just hoped that this time, we didn’t encounter anyone. Or worse, anything.