Ch 27 – Sometimes you gotta strip yourself bare before someone and hope that things turn out well.

That evening, after changing into far more normal attire, Lilis dropped a stack of books in my hands and insisted that I spend my time the rest of the day studying. I grumbled, but ultimately gave in, knowing that I had little chance of refusing after everything I’d done that day. It would have been preferable to study for my own classes. But given that I would be attending along with her for the time being, it wasn’t the worst idea to know some of the material. Some of the professors at the academy could be quite vicious, and there was no telling how they might react to my sudden presence. A feeble excuse, but it was one.

I ultimately justified the task by pretending it was an exercise in expanding my knowledge of other fields outside my normal scope. The one minor upside was that the texts gave me a good idea of what sort of classes Lilis was in. There were several books on botany and magical creatures, one on potion brewing, and another on poisons, drugs, and other, more mundane substances. Apparently, magical potions and other, nonmagical liquids needed their own separate classes, as silly as that seemed.

The hours of needlessly dull texts began to grate on me, unfortunately as my feeble motivation faded. There was a reason I didn’t study such things myself. They were incredibly boring. Alas, every time I considered putting the books down, my eyes were drawn to my roommate. She was assured to complain or berate me, demanding as she had been in forcing the books in my hands. Inevitably, I went back to reading, each time feeling more irritable than the last. As the sun finally began to set, shining down into the room through the two large windows, I found myself yawning. I glared down at the text in my lap, fighting the temptation to throw the thing across the room.

At the sound of my yawn, Lilis turned, pausing her pruning of an odd plant with large, prickly fruit growing from its stems. “You should sleep. It’s been a rough couple of days for you, and there’s no telling how tomorrow will turn out.”

I huffed, staring back down at the detailed formula and discussion of a neutralizing elixir that was apparently important. “I think I can manage to pick a bedtime for myself,” I grumbled.

“Are you really going to be obstinate about this, Ruby? I’d really hoped that we were moving past this.”

“Yes,” I hissed back.

Lili rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she turned back to her plant. “Fine. Do whatever you want. Just don’t wake me up in the middle of the night. And don’t blame me when you’re tired tomorrow. I won’t tolerate any complaints.”

For several seconds, I continued trying to read the words below, only for my eyes to slide over the same lines over and over. I slammed the book shut as my frustration over reading the dry texts for several hours finally boiled over. Enough of this.

“I may need some amount of assistance in protecting myself, but I can otherwise take care of myself plenty well enough, thank you.” Even the small admittance of vulnerability brought a light flush to my cheeks, despite my displeasure. It didn’t stop my piercing glare, however.

“Oh? Is that so?” she said offhandedly, not even bothering to look my way.

“Yes!”

“Because it seems to me that you have a persistent habit of making quite dubious decisions,” she continued, before clipping away a browning stem.

I growled, standing up to my feet. My tail swished behind me. “I may be a demon right now, but I can make my own, perfectly reasonable decisions!” I knew that I was letting my frustrations get the better of me. Even still, I couldn’t stop.

Lilis sighed, setting down the small pruner and turning toward me. “I’d hoped as much at first, myself. Yet the more time I’ve spent around you, the less true that fact seems.”

My cheeks warmed further. “Just because I’ve had a difficult time controlling my new, umm, urges, doesn’t mean I have no self control,” I insisted.

Lilis crossed her arms. “Is that so? I suppose you can explain why you’ve struggled to follow even the simplest of rules we’ve agreed to. Like when I told you to stay in the room this morning?”

“I—”

“I can’t leave you alone for even thirty minutes without you running off and doing something dangerous. Really, I wanted to believe you had some sense of self preservation up in that head of yours. But how can I when you seek to prove me wrong the very first chance you get?” She strode forward toward me. “The information I’ve read on succubi seemed a bit dubious at first, particularly since you were originally human. But what other conclusion am I supposed to come to, hmm? You clearly can’t take care of yourself.”

She stared down at me, eyes unimpressed. I recalled my brief glance over one of the texts and its mention of training and positive reinforcement.

“You—you—I’m not some—some thing to be owned—to be trained. You can’t just—just…”

We were nearing the crux of the problem, I realized. It was time to put my foot down. If this thing between us was to work at all, she would have to respect my autonomy.

“I have perhaps made some questionable decisions,” I admitted, barely managing to spit out the words. “But they were not without reason. Everything I’ve done was in an effort to become myself again. You can either work with me or against me in that, but I won’t stop working toward it.”

“That’s not what I’m asking for. I’m perfectly fine with helping you find a way back to your old self, if that’s what you truly want.” Something about the way she said the words raised the hair on my neck. “It doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been exceedingly reckless. Why couldn’t you have simply waited till I got back this morning instead of galavanting throughout the academy on your own? You need help, regardless of whether you’re willing to fully admit to it. You didn’t even know that you needed to drink blood for gods’ sake. And even you’ve admitted that you struggle to control yourself when your libido is involved. Do you really think you can do this on your own?”

As Lilis’s gaze shifted to one of apparent pity, I let out a low growl.

“At some point you have to accept who you are, Ruby. Be it temporary or not.”

Her hand reached out to rub my head, and I smacked it away.

“Don’t you dare!” I hissed. “I don’t need your pity.”

“Ruby—”

“No!” I shouted, cutting her off. “I won’t let you treat me like this. I’m not some toy for you to use.”

For a moment, I held strong, shooting her a weighted glare. Something in her eyes quickly shattered my bravado.

A silent tear rolled down my cheek, and I reached out, grabbing the edge of her cape. “Please,” I insisted. “I’ll follow your stupid rules, okay? I’ll—I’ll be good, or whatever. Just don’t take this away from me. I need this.”

My words fell off, weakening from an angry insistence into a shameful plea. I stared down at her feet, unable to meet Lilis’s eyes. Then her fingers touched beneath my chin, lifting my face.

Her words were soft. “You’re not a toy, Ruby. Perhaps I’ve been a bit too over eager and pushed things too far.”

Lilis’s eyes held an honest contrition. That, or she was far too good at acting.

Two arms wrapped around me, pulling me into a tight hug. My face pressed into her shoulder and the soft, white blouse. “I suppose I’ve been treating you rather poorly, haven’t I?”

Much too embarrassed to respond, I did the only thing I could think of and circled my own arms around her. One of her hands moved up to brush the back of my head. I wanted to simultaneously hug her harder and run away out into the halls. The feeling was strange, unfamiliar.

She had certainly pushed things between us. Though if I were honest, I’d gone quite willingly along with her. How often could I have turned her advances down, yet didn’t?

That was all rather beyond the point, however.

It jolted me back to reality as I realized exactly what I was doing. I stumbled backward, pulling out of her grasp. My balance caught up with me, and I turned to the side, folding my arms. Almost instinctively, I gave her an indignant glare.

“I can take care of myself,” I insisted once more.

Lilis rolled her eyes, but smiled. “So long as you can actually follow the rules we agreed on, I suppose I can treat you a bit less like an unruly demonic—” she coughed, “well, pet, I suppose.” Then her eyes narrowed. “But if you can’t agree to be sensible about this, I will go back to using some of the methods listed in those books. Understood?”

Once more, she grabbed my chin. “Because whether you like them or not, some of them were actually making progress.” A voracious glint flashed through her eyes.

I huffed, ignoring the way my cheeks warmed, and brushed her off me. “Fine. Whatever.”

Following a few little rules? How hard could this be?

“Well, regardless of what you’re wanting to do for the night, I’m heading to sleep. Please try to be courteous and not wake me up, would you?” She raised a brow.

“Yes, yes. I can go to bed as well.” I expected her classes to begin at daybreak, much as mine had before. “As you said, we both could use the rest.”

She smirked, and I turned my head, snubbing her.

As she turned and walked away, the embarrassment from our conversation fully hit. Had I really started to cry over something this stupid? What happened to my manly pride?

Lilis began to unbutton her blouse, not bothering to worry over hiding her body in front of me. I found myself once again glaring at her, as though she too was proclaiming my lack of masculinity.

“I’m going to sleep naked tonight,” she said. “If that’s alright.”

The comment caught me by surprise. “Naked?”

“I normally sleep in the nude,” she admitted.

“But, you have so many gowns,” I responded, remembering the one she’d given me the night before as well as the ones I’d seen while searching through her things.

“At the insistence of my parents.” She shrugged, waving it off. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured or uncomfortable the first night, so I opted to wear one. It did disrupt my sleep, however. So I’d rather not wear anything, so long as you’re fine with that.”

I bit my lip. It wasn’t as though we hadn’t already done much worse. Still, something about the idea of sleeping together with a naked woman seemed so… intimate. The sort of thing that the old Gellin would have assuredly found uncomfortable. That was silly though, wasn’t it? Shouldn’t a man be thrilled to sleep with a naked woman?

Lilis slipped out of the last of her clothing, tossing it into a small laundry bin to be washed later. As she bent forward, gathering the rest, I caught a generous view of her ass. She rose, clothes in hand, just as I realized that I was staring and turned my head.

“Sure. Sleep however you’d like.”

Rather than responding, Lilis gave me a small nod and moved toward the bed. I couldn’t help but watch as she slipped beneath the silken sheets, entirely naked. Something about the act caught my breath.

“You can sleep in the nude as well, if you’d like. It’s only fair, after all.”

“I—I’ve never,” I stuttered out.

“It’s entirely up to you,” she said. As she shrugged, my eyes caught the slightest bounce of her still-bare chest. “There’s nightgowns hanging in the back of the armoire, as well as a few folding in one of the cabinets near my desk.”

Would it really make much of a difference? I’d felt practically naked in the nightgown to begin with. In a way, I might as well sleep completely naked.

My thoughts briefly ran in circles as I fidgeted in place. It was the growing heat between my legs that ultimately made the decision for me. The skirt, blouse and underwear found their way to the floor. I looked up to find Lilis eyeing me, and very clearly pleased by the sight of me.

I squirmed and took a brave step toward the bed. Then my feet scurried forward, and I slipped beneath the covers. It felt so different on completely naked skin. Though I could definitely see why Lilis might prefer it, even beyond just the simple exhilaration.

With a gust of air, the lamps in the room went out.

Next to my ear, she whispered, “Goodnight, Ruby.”

I had a suspicion that sleep would try to elude me.