Ch 14 – Everything has a cost.

[CW: Parental Abuse]

“Closely related to incubi and distantly related to vampires, succubi have their own unique attributes.

“Unlike most other species of demons, which tend to vary in strength and power, succubi appear to be universally minor in their threat rating. Few have any magical capability, and most accept their demonic summons out of desperation rather than other, darker motives. This is not to say they aren’t dangerous, given their intelligence and their need for blood.”

Something about the way the text spoke about me left a sickening feeling in my gut. I shook my head. No, what was I thinking? I wasn’t truly a succubus; why did it matter how others generally saw them?

My eyes scanned further down the page, finally spotting the section I was looking for.

“What makes succubi, in particular, a good choice for a first summon is their tendency to form emotional connections with their summoners. Whether out of gratitude, their general weakness in magic, or perhaps some inherent trait to their species, succubi are far more trainable than most other demons. They respond particularly well to forms of positive reinforcement, like praise, treats, or simple physical affection.”

Praise? Treats? My hands shook, tightening around the edges of the book. The text went on in further detail, but I was no longer reading it.

“I should burn this stupid thing,” I growled in a low voice. There was one fact that I was certain of: no one was taming or “training” me.

“You will not be burning any of my books,” Lilis said firmly.

I looked up to glare at her. The annoying woman wasn’t even looking at me, however. I couldn’t believe she was actually taking even the slimmest amount of advice from this stupid thing. We needed to have a talk.

“This is ridiculous,” she continued, staring down at the parchment in hand.

On that, I couldn’t help but agree, though I knew we meant different things.

Her eyes met mine, finally looking up from the list of items I’d spent much of the evening deciding on. “Mana crystals and siphons, daggers, a set of throwing knives, several different poisons, three rings with numerous enchants.” She shook the paper at me. “The chalk, books, and similar items are easy—expected, even. Though I won’t be getting you any men’s clothing.”

I gave a huff in response. We’d see about that.

She continued, “Mana crystals, on the other hand, are exceedingly expensive. Especially the ones you’re asking for here.” She tapped the paper.

“The provost said you had to get me what I wanted,” I argued.

“He most certainly did not. I’m to provide you with things you need, not whatever pops into your pretty head that you happen to fancy.”

I let out a growl, and stood. As I opened my mouth to give her a piece of my mind, I barely managed to hold it back. Instead, I barked, “You asked for a list of what I needed, so I gave you one. And I do need them. How else am I to defend myself? Do you truly expect me to simply rely on you and hope for the best? Forgive me, but no. I can and will solve my problems myself, with or without your help.”

It would be unfortunate if Lilis decided not to help, but I’d begun to form another plan for how to get most of them. To start, I would need to obtain a weapon of some kind. The sooner the better.

She stared at me, clearly thinking hard about something. I crossed my arms and waited.

“Alright, stop pouting,” she finally said.

“I’m not pouting!” I interrupted.

She rolled her eyes. “I’ll see what I can do. The crystals will be difficult, however. I’ll need to come up with some excuse for my family on why I need them.”

My eyes widened. She… she was serious? Lilis was really going to try and get them for me? I’d been certain she would reject most of the items listed.

“Before that, however,” she said, plopping down on her bed, “I want to know exactly how you plan to use them.”

I frowned. “Without control over my mana, I can’t power any runes or sigils that I create.”

“Yes, I gathered that much, but what sort are you planning to make?”

Maybe she had some intelligence in that head of hers after all.

“Defensive ones,” I said. “I plan to ward the room to keep out intruders and add some protections to my clothing. Plus a few other minor sigils.” The best lies were the ones that were mostly true.

Lilis sighed. “Somehow, I don’t believe you, but fine. Give me a few days and I shall have them.”

I’d changed my mind; she was an idiot.

Her eyes held my own. “Just know that I am considering this a favor. I’ll be expecting you to play by the rules we’ve established.”

“You’ve established,” I insisted.

“Sure. Fine. The rules I’ve established, then. My point still stands.”

I tilted my head up, looking away. “I suppose I’ve no choice but to accept.”

Ha! As if I planned to follow her ridiculous “rules.” What did she take me for? A fool? I knew that Lilis wouldn’t be willing to simply follow me around everywhere, and I had things I needed to do if I wanted to rid myself of this affliction while surviving the next few days to weeks. I needed a mana crystal sooner rather than later. Tomorrow would be ideal. It would be foolish to rely on her generosity, especially when there was no guarantee her family would give them up.

Tomorrow was the second day of week’s end, meaning that classes would resume the day after.

“How quickly can you get me the knives or daggers?” I asked.

“I suppose I could purchase some in the morning. Why?” Her eyes were full of suspicion.

I shrugged. “Melkar found me in the library today. He didn’t seem very enthused about me turning his offer of ownership down. I’d like to have some way to defend myself.”

She mumbled something to herself before saying, “Melkar Kheln, the diabolist student?”

I nodded.

“I will do something about the Kheln boy. The provost and Professor Fell have put you in my care. It is my job to handle it.”

Did she really think I was going to just stand by and do nothing while she “handled” things?

Just as I was about to lash out at her, I instead took a deep breath. No, now wasn’t the time. I could put the idiot girl in her place later. A different tack was needed here. I would let her believe what she pleased.

“I’d still like a way to defend myself,” I reasoned. “I don’t like feeling helpless.”

She stared for a long, silent moment, before relenting with a nod. “Alright. In the morning, then. But know that if you betray my trust, you won’t get it back. I’ll make certain you’re roomed with someone else before the day ends, and I very much doubt they’ll be anywhere near as accommodating.” Her glare said she meant it.

“You have my word as scion of the Zellians that I’ve no intention of using the weapons to threaten or harm you in any way, so long as you can promise the same,” I stated sincerely.

“Acceptable.” Her lips curled up into a genuine smile. For some reason I couldn’t help but smile back.

I turned away from her, crossing my arms. “Right.”

She stepped forward and held out a hand. “I’m glad we could reach an agreement then, Ruby.”

I scowled, and reluctantly shook it. It was obvious she was deliberately using the name. Was she trying to annoy me? “You don’t need to call me that all the time.”

“I think it's best we both get used to it. Otherwise, one of us may inevitably err at an inconvenient time.”

I… couldn’t deny the logic in that.

“If we must,” I grumbled with clear exasperation.

“Perhaps we should retire to bed,” she suggested.

I wanted to argue the point on principle, until it occurred to me that the sooner we went to sleep, the sooner we could begin the next day.

“That’s fine by me. Though I can’t help but notice you’ve yet to get me a bed.” My eyes lingered on one of the shrouded bed posts and the strings of ivy snaking up it, curling around the purple drapes.

“I just assumed that you’d sleep with me,” she said. “A bed wasn’t even on your list.”

I spluttered, “That’s—that’s ridiculous! Why would I want—” I cut the question off, certain that I didn’t want to know the answer. “I want my own bed!” My arms crossed, and I stomped my foot on the ground for emphasis.

Lilis brought up a hand to cover her mouth, though I could still tell she was smiling behind it.

Is she laughing at me?

I growled, “This isn’t funny. I shouldn’t need to make note of a bed of all things. It’s obvious!”

The Thorn Princess snorted, just barely holding in her laughter. “Where would I even put another bed?” She gestured to the room, and I eyed the, admittedly, full space.

I shrugged. “We’ll just have to toss out some of this trash.” My foot tapped against a random shelf covered in rather dangerous looking succulents.

Lilis gave me a sour look. “I think not. Though I’ll see what I can do. Tonight, however, you’ll have to make do with my bed. Unless you’d rather sleep on the floor?”

“Why don’t you sleep on the floor?” I sneered back.

She ignored my words, a smile once again reaching her face. “The bed it is, then. Most of my night gowns should fit you.” The woman made her way over to a tall dresser and began searching through it.

I frowned. A gown? Was that truly necessary? I wanted to argue the point, given that I could easily just wear what I already had on. Though somehow, I knew that I was unlikely to win that argument. Plus I— A yawn slipped out from my lips.

I was admittedly rather tired. It had been a long day.

That didn’t stop me from grumbling at the far-too-cute pink and white gown that she pulled out and shoved into my hands. After several minutes of complaints, along with Lilis stripping out of her own clothing and pulling out something similar, I gave in.

As she slipped into the gown, I was certain my cheeks had caught fire.

“Do you need help?” she asked, turning my way. There was a sly smile on her lips that told me she knew how much my eyes were devouring her.

I quickly shook my head and bumbled into the bathroom. Lust flooded through me, my hunger making itself known. As the door shut against my back, I let out a groan of frustration. I should have done something about it. If the arbiter was right, I’d be feeling starved by the morning.

Am I going to be able to sleep like this?

After several minutes of getting changed and doing my best to cool down—with little success—I edged my way back into the bedroom. Lilis was on top of the bed, legs crossed atop the covers, and a book in hand. It was with some relief that she made no comment on how long I took. Though she did glance up from the page.

Her eyes froze me in place, and I fidgeted under her gaze.

Gathering my meager courage, I slipped beneath the covers to the left of her without a word, pulling them up to my neck. Somehow, they didn’t help me feel any less naked. Lilis marked her book, closing it. As I eyed it, I realized it was one of the ones on demons. My lips pursed.

With three snaps of her fingers, the lanterns in the room flickered out, and she settled into bed.

“Good night, Ruby.”

“Humph.” I turned away from her, wrapping my arms around a stray pillow. Several minutes later, so quiet that even I couldn’t hear it, I muttered against the soft fabric, “Good night.”

— — — — —

Amethyst turned her head. I could see my friend’s beaming smile shining over at me—a golden ray of sun upon my soul in an ever darkening world. Even when she was still, her very spirit seemed to dance through bright flowery meadows.

My father stepped beside me and a large, heavy hand landed on my shoulder. The breeze in the courtyard grew suddenly colder. A pit inside me grew by the moment, threatening to consume me. But I couldn’t break down, not in front of him. The punishment would be somehow even worse than…

I clutched the blade in my hands tighter. If only it would crumble into dust; though there would always be another that followed. They were endless.

My father moved down to one knee in front of me, becoming almost level to my height. The pressure on my shoulder intensified. His words came clear and succinct, cutting straight through the fog that seemed to cloud my mind. They were etched into my very being, like something I’d already heard a thousand times—despite this being the first time he’d ever spoken them. Each one hit me like an anvil, and I knew I would never forget a single word.

“I’m sure you’re wondering ‘why? Why I would ask this of you.’”

I looked to face him, reluctantly pulling my gaze from that of my friend in the distance. Though his tone was neutral, this was a rare moment of sympathy from the man. My father rarely explained himself, and never acknowledged my feelings except to berate and punish them. This was different.

His eyes pierced into my own, that firm and dangerous intensity simmering out as it always did. I halted my instinct to back away, knowing that it would only bring punishment.

“Everything has a cost, my son. It is a lesson that my father taught me at your age. One I did not fully understand until I was much older. But it is something you must begin to learn now, or you will one day find yourself facing a price you cannot pay. As my firstborn son, you will learn this Truth as I did.” His fingers squeezed my shoulders, another unthinkable—for him—expression of sympathy.

I nodded my head as though I understood, but truthfully, I did not. Not yet.

He stared for a long moment, and then he turned to watch my one and only friend. Reluctantly this time, I followed his gaze back over to her, as though fearing that by just looking her way, I’d find that the task he’d asked of me had already been done. He had a way of making things happen with just a look of his eyes.

Seeing her happily playing with dolls beneath the swaying green oak brought a short-lived relief. Perhaps it would have been better if someone else had done it. My hands hurt, squeezed around the knife so tightly that they’d become a pale white. I didn’t dare drop it. The dark pit within me threatened to spill over. For two months we’d been friends, the only friend my father had ever given me. We played and laughed, enjoying the best days of my life. It felt like a lifetime.

Everything has a cost.

One moment she was far away playing with her dolls. The next, she was there in front of me, pale, and staring down at the ground. A shaky hand was held out toward me, just as my father had commanded.

He stood to my left. His words left no argument.

“It’s time.”

‘Just a finger,’ he’d said. My hands shook.

I looked down at the blade, at its deadly, sharp edge. My older, adult self looked back up to see Amethyst still there in front of me, though far smaller with my added height. Even through her terror and silent tears, her golden heart seemed to shine out.

The blade fell from my hands, but it never seemed to hit the dirt below.

“Disappointing.”

Runes lit up around me. My confused gaze turned to meet my father’s. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. He took a step toward me, and I took one back.

“Ruby.”

Something pinched my chest, and I looked down, finding myself unable to breathe.

“Ruby!”

I gasped, my eyes flying open as I shot upward in bed.

In front of me, Lilis released a sigh. “You were shaking. Are you alright?”

“Just a nightmare,” I mumbled as my mind was released from the fog of sleep.

Everything has a cost.