Ch 1 – Bad News (rewrite)

"So you are saying I was summoned by a supervillainess to another universe?"

Earl Bowman, the representative from the Victims of Paranormal Crimes Unit (VoPCU), occupied a chair situated opposite Jack Cooper. Jack was seated on a couch in the break room of the Caretakers, Empire City's most formidable superhero team. Intriguingly, Empire City appeared to be geographically identical to New York City in Jack's previous world. The Caretakers had recently undertaken a raid against the Diablo Alliance, a notorious group with an obsession for attempting to summon the Anti-Christ once more, perpetuating their dark agenda. In the process, they found a most unusual visitor to Empire City.

Earl scratched his chin and looked thoughtful, "Ehhh... basically? Yes." He cleared his throat and launched into a monologue.

Earl Bowman leaned closer to Jack, his expression grave, as he began to recount the dark events that brought everyone together. "We've completed our checks on you, and now we believe it's time to share the full story. The Caretakers are Empire City's primary defenders, and it's an enormous responsibility, I can assure you."

"In 1989, the Shadow Master successfully summoned the Anti-Christ right here in Empire City. The result was catastrophic, with a death toll exceeding a million lives lost in less than three days. It took almost a year, but eventually, we managed to banish the Anti-Christ back to whatever Hell dimension he came from, and the Shadow Master was exiled right alongside him. The devastation to Empire City was beyond comprehension, and it has taken decades for the city to recover as much as it has."

Bowman's expression grew graver still as he recounted more recent events, "However, we didn't capture all of the Alliance members, and several high-ranking members managed to escape. Two days ago, the Diablo Alliance attempted to breach the barriers between realities and summon the Anti-Christ once again. The Caretakers received a warning and intercepted them. We won, but when we destroyed the dimensional breach device, it had an unintended side effect."

Jack nodded in acknowledgment at Earl Bowman's narrative. "I got part of the story already," Jack interjected, "So, you're telling me that the real name of the Anti-Christ in this world is Jack Cooper, and when the machine malfunctioned, it essentially pulled the first Jack Cooper it could find from across the multiverse."

Leaning back comfortably, he took a sip of the hot cocoa they had kindly prepared for him. His eyes roamed the room, where a collection of beautiful women was lounging about, their expressions reflecting concern for Jack's well-being. The only other male presence in the room, aside from Jack himself, was Earl Bowman, a somewhat disheveled and effeminate-looking man in a nondescript suit, who appeared rather out of place among the more striking figures in the room.

Earl nodded and gave Jack a well-practiced smile, "Indeed. We're terribly sorry. This isn't the first time that someone from another planet or universe has wound up on our world. It's happened enough that we're, well... reluctant experts at dealing with the problem at this point."

Jack incredulously stared at Earl over his mug, "How many?"

Earl reached into his bag, retrieving a stack of forms, "Currently, in the United States, it's estimated that about one out of every hundred thousand citizens falls into the category of extra-dimensional immigrant." He explained. Earl then gestured with his hands, as if trying to weigh the statistics, "Roughly one out of every ten natives possesses some form of Meta power, but only about one out of a hundred of those actually have powers that are significant or useful." He continued while rolling his hand in the air to emphasize the numbers, "Additionally, we have around twenty-five thousand or so individuals categorized as aliens. Most are right here in Empire City."

Jack's eyes widened slightly, "Wow... I assume you don't mean coming in from Mexico."

Earl glanced around the room as he let out a soft chuckle, "What? You don't have extraterrestrial life in your universe?"

Jack nodded with a shrug and a raised eyebrow, "Exactly. We call it the great silence. For some reason, we seem to be alone in the universe. The deeper we look into the great void, the more we discover we are alone." He paused before adding, "Well... alone in OUR universe, it seems."

"Wow. No superpowers, no aliens, nobody ever arrives from parallel universes..." Earl looked stunned, "You must live on the safest planet in the cosmos!"

Jack sipped his cocoa and muttered into his cup, "I suppose in comparison..."

The Druidess, a striking woman with ebony hair, obsidian eyes, and draped in flowing green robes, couldn't resist interjecting, her voice carrying an air of curiosity, "I can't even imagine such a place. It must be terribly... dull." Her form seemed to sway and move with an almost ethereal grace. Despite her loose and flowing attire, it managed to accentuate all the right curves of her hourglass figure. Jack couldn't help but notice her ample hips, gravity-defying bosom, and the occasional teasing glimpse of skin, hinting at her disregard for undergarments. Her age was difficult to discern. She didn't appear old, but not youthful either. She bore an ageless quality that defied the passage of time and an alluring aura.

Jack laughed with a touch of nervousness as he felt the weight of her attention, "Well..." He finished the last of his hot chocolate, "It has its moments."

Earl handed the pile of papers to Jack, "As for your case," His tone businesslike, "The government will provide you with a place to live for six months. There will be a month of mandatory monitoring by agents from Vop-cu. We've already secured an apartment for you; in about two days, we'll have all the paperwork finalized. Essentially, it's everything you'll need to start a new life." He handed Jack a card, bearing contact information.

"This is the information for your psychologist," Earl explained. "I'm afraid you'll be required to attend mandatory weekly meetings for a year, just to ensure you're adjusting well to your new circumstances." He sighed, his expression sympathetic. "I'm sorry we can't send you back. We don't know which universe you came from, and sending you out blind..." He left the sentence hanging, the unspoken implications of such a journey heavy in the air.

One of the women who was lounging in the corner waved two fingers, "Just call me Doctor Brown." She had long brown hair, brown eyes, a thin figure, well tanned, and came across as a stereotypical scientist type. In fact, that was one of the things that stood out about everyone that Jack was meeting. Everyone seemed to dress and act like a stereotype. Like her namesake, she wore a well-tailored, brown pantsuit.

Next to her was a strong, bulging muscle, Amazonian type with long, strawberry-blond hair. She towered over everyone else at almost seven feet. Her skintight outfit made her look vaguely like a baseball player. On her chest right between her massive breasts was a giant 'A', which stood for 'All-Star', her super-heroine name. She seemed to be oddly attentive, while at the same time trying not to stare at Jack too much. It felt like there was something unspoken weighing on her mind.

Earl started swiping along the surface of a tablet as he jumped from file to file, "Just to clarify... Sorry if all this is redundant, but I am required to confirm everything and make sure you understand the full story." He looked up over the edge of his tablet, "You are Jack Cooper, correct?" Jack nodded. Earl frowned, "Please speak aloud. This is being recorded."

Jack made an 'O' with his lips, "Ooo! Sorry. Uh, yes. I am Jack Cooper. I am from another Earth. There I am a citizen of that planet's United States. I have read the notes you gave me before and I am prepared to live under your laws, as it seems to be basically the same."

"You are twenty-eight years old. You were working as a..." Earl squinted, "Phone... Monkey?" He looked up, "What's a phone monkey?"

Jack cringed, "Sorry. I wasn't taking all of this very seriously when I filled that form out." He tapped himself on the side of his head, "It's only just now sinking in." He leaned forward and hunched his shoulders in a gesture of compliance, "Phone Monkey means I worked in a call center." He let out a nervous chuckle, "It's a bit of a joke."

Earl nodded, "AH. I understand." He returned to scrolling through the file, "You had no wife or girlfriend. Your mother is dead. You have two older sisters who... also died from cancer." He looked up, "My condolences."

Jack shrugged, "It was a while ago."

Earl looked back at his tablet, "And your father was alive last time you checked, but that was quite a while ago."

Jack shrugged, "The bastard cheated on Mom while she was dying of cancer. We had a huge fight the last time we talked, so there is no love lost there." He put his empty cup on the coffee table, "So I'm not going to miss him at ALL."

Earl nodded, "Well, that might be a good thing, in the long run." He checked his tablet again, "We did some checking, and it does not appear that any of them have dimensional duplicates here. Also, it does not appear that you are a true dimensional duplicate of our Jack Cooper, AKA The Anti-Christ." He looked up, "Which is for the best. You do not want his face."

Jack nodded, "Oh. I agree!" He paused, "If... it's okay. My name sounds generic where I come from, but it is MY name. Would it be okay if I keep it, or do you think I should change it, because of the negative association?"

"There shouldn't be any problems in that regard. Very few people know his real name anyways..." Earl rolled his eyes, "For security reasons, obviously."

"Obviously..." Jack echoed.

Earl sighed and took off his glasses to clean them, "Now... I know it's been a rough few days, but... well... I have bad news."

Jack looked around at everyone, "I was wondering why we were having the intervention." He took a deep breath, "I'm a rip the band-aid off kinda guy." He patted his chest with both hands, "Lay it on me."

The Druidess put a hand on Jack's shoulder, "Your results came back. You have superpowers."

Jack stared at her, "Annnnnd... Why is that BAD news?"

Doctor Brown stepped away from the wall she was leaning against, "There are several factors when it comes to having superpowers and how they manifest. The primary one is monad strength." Jack squinted and looked at her out of the corner of his eyes. Brown clarified, "Monads are the WIMP particles that allow people to manifest powers. About one in ten have enough monads to manifest SOMETHING. We chart it on a logarithmic scale. Most men are at a two. Most women are at a three. The average monad strength you need to manifest powers is a four. The ratio of women to men above a four is about nine to one. You... are a four-point one."

"Okay..." Jack rolled a hand in the air in a gesture urging them to get to the point.

Druidess spoke next, "There are three... well... general categories of powers. The elementalist is someone who has a very tight group of powers based around one thing, typically an element, but it can be any concept. They are very limited in what they can do, but they are the most efficient at monad usage. The next category is the generalist. They usually are limited to a certain broad category. They can do way more than an elementalist, but usually not as effective."

Brown spoke up, "For example, a fire elementalist could be made of fire, shoot fire, fly, detect fire, that sort of thing." She cleared her throat, "But a generalist might be able to make a flame thrower, or a dome of fire, or a much broader range of fire adjacent effects, but usually can only do one or two things at the same time, whereas a fire elementalist can do everything at once."

Druidess nodded, "And usually an elementalist can do it much longer than a generalist."

One of the women who hadn't said anything yet, giggled as she muttered, "All-star definitely can go much longer than the rest of us." All-star glared at her.

Druidess continued, "The third category is called... cosmic." She raised a single finger and slowly brought it down until it pointed at Jack.

Jack pointed at himself, "I'm... cosmic?"

Doctor Brown nodded, "Yes. Cosmic power users can usually do... anything. Well. They usually have some sort of limitation to help focus their minds, but in theory, a cosmic user can do anything, but..."

Jack nodded slowly, "But if you can do anything, you are the least efficient at using monads, I assume?"

The Druidess touched her nose, "Bingo. Honestly, I have no idea how you can even have a cosmic power framework with a monad score so low. Theoretically, it shouldn't even be possible."

Doctor Brown nodded, "I'll be surprised if you could figure out how to light a cigarette."

Everyone looked very concerned about giving Jack this bad news. To be so close to being a superhero, only to have your dreams crushed at the finish line. This is what all the women in the room were thinking. Jack had a different attitude about all this, "I... didn't have any powers to begin with, so even if I learn how to light cigarettes with my mind, that's more than I had back in my world." Jack smiled around the room, "It's all good."

All-star looked touched and a little impressed, "Wow. I read what you filled out on the paperwork, How you wished to be a superhero? I was quite moved. I thought you'd take this a lot harder."

Jack remembered what he wrote in the paperwork they asked him to fill out when they first rescued him. When asked what he wanted to do with his life, he wrote an essay that was dripping with sarcasm because at the time he thought this was one massive joke, ~If they looked at it seriously, they'd think that he wanted to be a superhero, more than anything. No wonder they all gathered around like this. They think they are shattering my life's dream. Ouch! Do they not have sarcasm here?~ He took a deep breath through gritted teeth, ~Well, best not be an asshole about this.~

Jack let out a long breath, then did his best to look like he was trying hard to put on a brave front, "Isn't the point of being a superhero to help other people? Just because I don't have any powers, doesn't mean I can't help people." He looked around at the people who had been taking care of him for the past three days and had to admit to himself they were very nice people. He had been rude to them because he was pissed. He was increasingly coming to regret his actions and resolved to do better.

Doctor Brown perked up, "Oh. We didn't say you didn't have ANY powers, you just... well... whatever they develop into, they are just going to be very, very, very WEAK."

All-star looked a bit sad, "And... I'm sorry but we'll have to turn down any application to join the team. It would just be too dangerous and we're full up on sidekicks at the moment." She tried to give him an encouraging smile, "However, I don't think anyone would object to you signing on for a support position."

Jack nodded slowly, "You know what? Maybe... it's best I just take a few weeks to find myself, you know what I mean?"

Druidess moved her hand to give him a supporting pat on the knee, "That's a good idea. And hey, you are still young! Haven't quite hit that wall yet! Rather than running around as a superhero, you should focus on finding yourself a good woman and raising a family." She gave his knee a squeeze, "I'm sure any woman would be lucky to have you as a househusband!"

Jack gave Druidess a double take, "Househusband?"

Doctor Brown smacked her forehead, "Goddamn it, Druidess! Why do always have to keep spouting that trad crap? It's not the nineteen-fifties anymore!" She turned to Jack, "I'm sorry our friend here is a little sexist. It's perfectly acceptable for a man to seek a career outside the home."

Jack blinked and blinked HARD, "You don't say."

In the corner of the room was a girl with tattoos and a cybernetic arm. She had been fiddling with her arm the whole time and had not spoken up until now. Jack vaguely remembered the red-headed cyborg as Quantum. She glanced up, "We're making an assumption here. Do they even have men's liberation on your world?"

Jack looked back at her, "Are you talking about Men's rights?" Quantum nodded. Jack chewed on his thumbnail for a moment before continuing, "Theoretically, everyone is equal under the law where I come from. In practice..." He shrugged, "It is what it is."

Doctor Brown gave Jack a sympathetic smile, "Well, we'll address those issues as they come up. That's what the weekly meetings are about."

"Right-right." Jack kept nodding, "Well... thanks for all you have done for me. This has been a wild few days. I think-" He looked at Earl, "If I have an apartment, I'd like to go see it. If that's okay?"

Earl nodded and pulled out a small yellow envelope that jingled as if there was a set of keys in there, "It's not that far from here, and on a bus line!" He offered the envelope, "All provided by the government through section ten."

Jack took the envelope, opened it up, and upended its contents into his hand. A smartphone and a set of keys slid out along with some instructions on how to activate the phone and the address where he lived.

"Feels more like a section eight, to me."

Jack had spent several hours in his new apartment surfing the Internet on his phone.

His section ten housing was in a motel complex that had been converted to use by the government. You got assigned one of the motel rooms. If you needed to use a kitchen, there was one provided in a common area. The in-ground pool had been drained and left empty. There was parking available, but not many cars.

On the surface, this world was like his old one. Once you dug deep, you discovered several differences that stood out. Mainly how it seemed like gender roles had flipped. He tried to figure out why for the better part of an hour before giving up. Eventually, he just leaned back on his bed as he talked to himself, "I'm on a planet of horny, super-powered women."

He put his hands behind his head and regarded the water-stained drop tile ceiling above his bed, "Is there a downside to this?" He started bouncing his foot on the edge of the bed, "I mean, my life wasn't that exciting back home. The chances of me getting laid were non-existent. However, if I sleep around, I'll have to worry about slut shaming… right? Is there a way to have my cake, and eat it too?"

He abruptly sat up, "Do I give a shit what people think about me?" He got up and walked into the small bathroom that came with his one-room apartment. He looked into the mirror, "Do you?" He peered intently at himself, "Do you give a shit?" He hung his head, "Why am I talking to myself?" He turned on the sink and washed his face, then looked up again. He frowned as he concentrated on his reflected visage, "Wait a sec..." He turned his head to the left, then to the right, "Why... don't I have any stubble?"

He scratched his chin, "Holy shit... I haven't been growing a beard?" Straightening up he examined the mirror, "I wonder why? Wait. She said I can do anything with cosmic power, there are just... power limits, right? I can only do... small amounts of anything, I presume. If that’s the case, what is a small amount of..." He looked intently at his chin, “Shapeshifting?”

He straightened up and focused on his face, specifically the small scar on his chin. It always bothered him, even if it wasn't anything special. He focused on it and thought to himself, ~Smooth.~ He felt something click in his head and the scar disappeared. He blinked and staggered back in surprise.

As soon as he stopped concentrating, it returned.

He touched his chin and started to rub it, "What the...?" He thought for a few minutes then left the bathroom to go check the door. He made sure it was locked, then drew the curtains closed. He turned off the lights, retreated to the bathroom, closed the door, and locked it as well, "Okay..." He cracked his knuckles.

"Let's find out exactly what the weakest wielder of cosmic power can do!"