Chapter 190: Dreams and Desperation

The party was quiet during their hike. Trending east, Bren had pointed out they were heading for a cluster of Seeds. That wasn’t too much of a worry for them, but it did mean delays along an already detoured route. Now, while that inconvenienced them in terms of time, Bren did have the general area Orenous wanted them to search figured out. No getting lost and never finding their goal with him around.

Over the next couple of hours, they kept moving. Once dawn broke, they all stopped for a rest. None of them wanted to with the strange Warped in the area, but their bodies needed sleep and were denied a good portion of it. Ann took first watch, then passed out, curled up in Kat’s arms. Even on the hard ground, she was happy as long as Kat was hugging her.

Sometime before she woke up, Rosalyn had wedged herself between them and was now snoring contentedly as Ann’s eyes opened.

“Time,” Lucia said, keeping her voice quiet so as not to alarm anyone. “Moving on. Midday.”

Ann blinked and confirmed that the sun was in its zenith. Not that it did much to warm them, but it was there. Groaning, she extricated herself from the cuddle puddle. Rosalyn woke first, disturbed by the movement, then poked Kat with a horn to wake her. Kat started, looking around warily, but calmed down soon after. She’d been mumbling something in her sleep, but Ann couldn’t make sense of it.

“Enjoy your rest, everyone?” Bren asked, a fire burning and a pot of tea already boiling merrily. He looked good, if a bit messy from the night. As he reached for the pot, Ann saw his hand was steady. None of the trembling from last night persisted.

“Could always go for more,” Ann said, stretching. “Plus, it’s a bit awkward in armour, but we take what we can get, right?”

“Absolutely,” Bren nodded, handing her a steaming mug. “Come on, Kat. Get your massive ass up. Do not make me spill this pot over you.”

“Fine!” Kat grumbled, getting up from an attempt to catch a few more minutes. “Don’t ‘ave tae go that far.”

“We have to regularly dump you in the bath,” Rosalyn giggled. “You love your sleep.”

“Sure do, when it lets me,” Kat mumbled, taking her mug and cradling it lovingly.

“Been having problems?” Ann asked. “You’ve actually been up early these past couple days.”

Kat looked like she wanted to avoid the question, but sighed. “Aye. It’s been a lot. Dreams mostly. Bad ones.”

“That day?” Lucia asked.

“Aye.”

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Ann said, rubbing her girlfriend’s shoulder.

“Not like ye can do anythin’ tae help. They’re just dreams. I’ll figure it out.”

“Those events weigh on my mind as well,” Bren said, taking a sip of his own cup. “I still see your face before I was able to heal it. The sight terrifies me.”

“Well, ye did a great job,” Kat laughed, waggling a finger in her empty eye socket. “Coulda been much worse without ye.”

“Yes. I still feel that I should have done better.”

“Alright, this is getting mopey real quick,” Ann interrupted. “We all did everything we could. I’m still having dreams of Kat’s face bleeding all over me, way too much to be real, so I guess we’re all still fucked up. Problem is, there’s nothing we could have done to see it or stop it. Could you have gotten in front of your dad, Kat? Something even your Mom in full plate wasn’t able to do?”

“Nae,” Kat shook her head.

“And do you have any spells that can restore a lost eye, Bren? Or prevent significant scarring from a nearly mortal wound?”

“No,” Bren conceded.

“Then we did our best,” Ann declared. “We got a shit hand dealt to us, and now we’ve gotta pick up the pieces and keep going. Kat, if there’s anything we can do to help with the nightmares, let me know. Tell that Dragon to keep its claws out of those fears, or I’ll sic Waheela on it.”

“Xirali says she’d like to help, or at least it feels like it,” Rosalyn chimed in. “She must like Kat, or doesn’t like the Dragon. Could be both. I dunno.”

“Right. So, let’s get moving. I’ll see if Orenous has any advice on dreams while we walk.”

Kat took Ann’s offered hand, groaning as she stood. Bren kicked the fire out, and they took off once again.

Ann didn’t join the idle chatter between the rest. Instead, she took the time to try to reach out to Orenous. Honestly, even reading her scriptures, she wasn’t sure the Goddess could do anything about this.

There is nothing I can do.

Ann almost jumped as the quiet voice whispered into her mind.

Her dreams are a symptom of pain deep within her. She needs time. Time to heal.

Ann knew that was probably the answer. Magic, while great at doing a lot of things, couldn’t fix everything. Trauma, least of all. Well, maybe if there was a memory magic that could remove the bad memories, but that had all sorts of other awful uses.

“Ann? Get somethin’?” Kat asked.

“Huh?”

“Ye looked really concentrated. Thought ye mighta heard back from our favourite Goddess.”

“Actually, I did. She, well, she can’t help. Sorry, Kat.”

Kat shrugged, her face scrunching in a pout of resignation. “Figured. I’ll work me way through it. Don’t ye worry. Only been a bit o’er a week. Shite like this takes time. Heard stories o’ soldiers comin’ back that were wracked wit’ nightmares fer years. Guess I’m not immune tae the same.”

“No,” Lucia said. “None are. Fear tricky. Pain deep. Time. All needs time. Knew hunter, almost died on Warped hunt. Mother said woke screaming. Never went back. Never hunted again. At least no screaming. Would gag.”

“Oi, that’s not fair,” Kat protested. “Can’t help if I wake up screamin’ in terror. Shite’s bloody awful!”

“Right. Still loud. Gag helps.”

“Listen ‘ere ye little sealgair. I’ll be the one tyin’ ye up if given reason.”

“Can try,” Lucia shrugged with a smug grin on her face.

“Oh, what, ye got some skill fer gettin’ out o’ ropes?”

“Maybe?”

Kat gave her a suspicious glare, then huffed. “Bren, yer girlfriend’s bein’ difficult.”

“We are not!” Bren protested.

“Ye feckin’ kissed. Ye’re most o’ the way there, damnit.”

“I have kissed many women with whom I did not form a relationship!”

“Like that woman back in Graven Keep?” Ann asked.

“Ye’re not helpin’, love.”

“She is correct. A lovely night, but nothing further.”

“Before?” Lucia asked.

“Oh, he never told you?” Rosalyn gasped. “How could you, Bren?”

Bren rolled his eyes. “As if you were sober enough to remember details.”

“I wasn’t that drunk. Ok, maybe I was. She looked pretty, though, when she ran out of your room half-naked. Cute butt.”

“Rosalyn!” Bren cried.

“What? She did! And you thought so, too. Don’t lie to me. I’ll know.”

“Describe?”

“Oh, she was, what, a blonde bartender. Bren went to go get us drinks, and he came back with a date for the night. He’s super smooth when he tries, apparently, cause that took like ten minutes to get her all interested. Anyway, she was cute, her face was a little plain, and she had a third eye on her, um, right cheek?”

“Now we know ye were drunk,” Kat laughed. “She was brunette, Alfhindur, an' it took far less than that. What was her name, though?”

“June! She was worried I was dating Bren before I got my drink,” Ann recalled. “Asked permission. It was really cute! Shoulda seen the eyes she was making over him, Lucia. Completely smitten.”

Lucia squinted, but remained unreadable. “No. Don’t like.”

“Ooh, jealous type. Watch out, Casanova,” Ann laughed.

Bren pulled his hood up and did his best to hide while they walked, but red and blue made a terrible camouflage against the snow.

“Don’t worry, lass,” Kat laughed. “He’s had a couple relationships before. Once he makes it official, ye’ve got one o’ the most loyal men I’ve ever met. Hold on tae him, now. Break ‘is heart, an’ I’ll teach ye a lesson. Got it?”

Lucia gulped and nodded.

“Kat, stop giving her shit,” Ann laughed. “She won’t beat you, Lucia.”

“Not sure,” the woman said, giving Kat a suspicious look from behind her long, straight locks. “Seemed real.”

“Was it real, Kat?”

“Kinda?”

“Kat…”

“Fine, I won’t hurt ye. Might get mad at ye, though. That alright?”

“Fine,” Lucia relented.

“I can hear you all!” Bren yelled.

“That’s the point, o brother o’ mine!” Kat cackled, running to catch up with him.

“Like siblings,” Lucia pointed out. “More than thought.”

“Oh yeah. You’ve seen them argue. Fought like that with my brother all the time. Swear to Orenous that he just said things to make me angry. Just to get a reaction, because he thought it was funny. Once we got into college, he mellowed out, though. Still gave each other no end of shit, but there was less bite to it.”

“Sounds nice,” Lucia said.

“Wait, I don’t think you’ve said. You an only child?” Ann asked.

“Yes. Well, was. Not sure. Might not.”

“You grew up as an only child, so that counts,” Rosalyn said, kicking a rock through the snow ahead of her. It tumbled, creating a divot before Rosalyn kicked it again. “Same here. Never got any of the sibling stuff. It sounds exhausting, but in a good way. Like the kind where you’re so annoyed but you can’t help but like it? Though Ann does that now and then.”

“I do?” Ann asked, shocked

“Well, yeah, sometimes. Like, when I’m in the middle of studying on something, and you insist on hugging me, or just talking a lot, but don’t get me wrong, I love you, it’s just sometimes I want a little quiet?”

“Oh,” Ann felt her tail and ears droop. “Sorry.”

“Hey, come on. Everyone wants some alone time now and then. Doesn’t mean I love you any less.”

“Is fine,” Lucia said, trying to comfort Ann. “Bren does. Books talking. Too much reading. Should be doing. Frustrating.”

Ann grumbled to herself. They were both right. She could get kinda clingy, and while neither of her girlfriends complained, she could see how annoying it could be at times.

“So, you wanna know something that does make me happy?” Rosalyn asked.

“Sure,” Ann moped.

“When you sit me in your lap and let me read what I’m working on to you. It’s fun, and really sweet that you take an interest in that. Not everyone’s so… understanding about my fascination.”

“I like those times too,” Ann said, letting go of her pack’s strap to ruffle Rosalyn’s hair. “Just the two of us being close and learning. It’s nice.”

“Bren wouldn’t,” Lucia grouched.

“You should ask him to! Maybe you’ll be surprised! He can be very energetic when you show some interest in what he’s studying. He could probably talk your tusks off with histories, maybe even share some about yours!”

“Know history.”

“Yeah, sure, but it’s doing something for him to share an interest. Heck, you might teach him something he doesn’t know! Just listen and engage with him. It’ll do wonders for trying to get him in bed.”

Lucia turned dark green at Rosalyn’s words, and Ann couldn’t help but laugh.

“I was going to ask if you wanted him to be doing you earlier, and I think that confirms it.”

“Does not.”

“Lucia, look at me, would ya?” Ann asked.

She activated Lover’s Intuition, and a wave of desire hit her. So strong was the emotion that Ann actually stumbled.

“Jesus shit, girl. How does he ignore that?”

“You looked,” Lucia glared.

“Yeah, cause you’re not being honest with yourself. I cheated,” Ann shrugged. “You’re so goddamn in love with him that I can barely handle a peek. The fuck are you doing waiting?”

“Not right time.”

Ann rolled her eyes. “It’s never gonna be the right time if you wait forever. You kissed him, right?”

“Yes.”

“Did he kiss you back?”

“Uh… yes?”

“Holy shit, I need to write out a dating plan for you two. Seriously. No, wait, I have a thing. One minute,” Ann said, slinging her pack off her shoulders and rummaging through it as she walked. Being tall was nice, since the straps didn’t dangle in the snow and accidentally get stepped on. “It’s somewhere… ah!” She produced a book. It was really more of a pamphlet; it was so thin, but it was more than what a pamphlet would hold. “Love and You: For the Romantically Inexperienced and the Lovely Dense” read the title. It was some silly little thing one of the priests had slipped into the literature she’d received. Probably a joke, but it was useful now. It wasn’t the only thing that’d been slipped in. Apparently, a couple of priestesses she’d talked with had slipped smut in as their contribution to her holy studies. All of it was about women like her, too. Good to know that people were still horny as fuck for that kind of thing.

“Here, this is for you.”

“Stupid,” Lucia grimaced, reading the cover.

“Yeah, maybe, but some of it might help you either understand Bren or yourself. Orenous’ temple knows that the fuck they’re talking about when it comes to fucking, and relationships. Good mix of both, that lot.”

“Except Rowena. She’s really into having sex with you,” Rosalyn pointed out.

“Yeah. Still kinda sad I couldn’t reciprocate that.”

“We’ll be back in Korvas eventually. If Kat’s done being stingy, then you, or all three of us, can show her exactly how appreciative we are of her help.”

“Break her brain even more?”

“Until she’s as bad as I am during sex?”

“Maybe worse.”

“Ooh, sounds fun,” Rosalyn giggled.

Lucia sighed. “Need words. Sorry. I wish I had even a bit of your confidence. Talking so openly about this makes me feel inadequate.”

Ann stopped dead in her tracks, gaping at the Thrundol, who was blushing furiously at her. “You can talk normally?”

“Try not to. It’s inefficient. Surprised Bren didn’t tell you.”

“He keeps his lips shut about anything between you two,” Rosalyn said, still gawking in disbelief.

“I like that. I just wish he wouldn’t do it about us, too,” Lucia sighed. “Feels like he just would rather avoid talking about it than, I don’t know, talking about it? It’s hard to corner him into it, too. So good at avoiding the topic or changing the subject. Infuriating!”

“Theeen, how about we don’t let him? We’re bound to run across a village at some point. He’d plan for that. What say you, we take his nerdy ass and lock him in a room with you until he actually talks?”

“Doesn’t seem like it’ll work,” Lucia shrugged. “We’ve been alone plenty. No different.”

“Maybe we could get him drunk? I’m more talkative when I’m tipsy.”

“That’s possible?” Lucia asked, giving Rosalyn an amused look. She got an adorable pout back. “Joke. Maybe? Could work.”

“Listen, I’ve got a plan, but it’s gonna need you to help with it,” Ann said, leaning on Lucia’s shoulder conspiratorially. “So, what you’re gonna need to do is start really flirting with him. Lay on the pressure.”

“Seduce?”

“Eh, not that serious. Just try with him. Get close, try touching him here and there. No, not like that,” Ann said to an accusatory eyebrow. Those crimson eyes could really look judgmental. “Just little stuff, hand on his shoulder, a friendly nudge. That kind of stuff.”

“That’s enough?” Lucia asked.

“Not alone, but it helps get him to relax around you. More willing to talk to you. It’s… ugh, I’ve been reading a surprising lot about this; it’s human psychology to want to touch the one you like. Not sure if it’s nature or nurture that you don’t, but give it a try. It has a way of pulling attention to yourself and showing you care. Just… don’t go overboard with it.”

“I can do that,” Lucia nodded.

“I’ll fill you in on the rest of the plan later,” Ann winked, then let Lucia catch up with Bren.

“What’s the plan?” Rosalyn asked.

“Same thing I told her. If they’re not gonna figure it out, we’ll lock them in a room until they do. I don’t care how long it takes. It’s for their own good.”

“That’s mean,” Rosalyn giggled. “Let’s do it!”