Chapter 186: On the Snowy Trail

“I miss breakfast,” Rosalyn whined. “Juice and pastries were so nice.”

“Ye might have wanted tae watch that,” Kat laughed. “Easy tae put on weight wit’ all that rich food.”

“I can work it off!”

“Aye, an’ that’s what we’re doin’ now!”

It had been two days since their escape from Korvas. Ann had gotten her trail legs back, and was enjoying the walk, but Rosalyn was taking longer to adjust. Clearly, she appreciated whatever comforts she could manage. Probably due to growing up without much.

Ann sipped her bottomless mug of ever-hot coffee, then passed it to Rosalyn. “Here. It’ll warm you up and wake you up.”

“Fine. Like the tea better, though,” Rosalyn sighed, grabbing the mug. “Wish this thing could add milk and sugar.”

“Yeah, that’d be nice,” Ann agreed. “Guess we get to either bring that ourselves, or get used to black. Milk doesn’t travel well, though.”

“Very true,” Bren nodded. “I could brew several teas that utilise milk. Sadly, that is not an option in our current circumstances.”

Ann perked up at that. “Wait. You can make milk tea? Have you all figured out tapioca pearls yet?”

“Tapioca?” Bren asked.

“Uh, not really sure how it’s made, to be honest. I know it uses some kind of starch and makes these chewy, almost flavourless balls that are just fun to put in milk tea. We called it Boba Tea. I was an absolute slut for that shit.”

“Now I wanna try it,” Kat said. “Does it have some kinda aphrodisiac in it?”

“What? No, that just meant I really liked it.”

“Weird,” Kat shrugged. “Ye can be me slut whenever ye want, though.”

“Aw, thanks, babe,” Ann said, patting Kat’s shoulder.

Lucia made a retching noise.

“I don’t want to hear that from you,” Ann shot back. “You’ll tell me what happened during the escape at some point.”

All she got back was an annoyed huff. Both the Thrundol and the Human had been tightlipped about their situation. Bren just changed the subject, and Lucia flatly ignored her whenever she brought it up. Blushes kept happening though. Whenever the two accidentally touched, or talked over each other, both of them would light up like Christmas trees.

“Aye. I’m curious meself.” Bless Kat and her picking up on things. “Ye’ve been actin’ skittish around ‘er since we got outta the city. Ye were holdin’ her hand when we found ye, but now this? Got me confused.”

“Please, leave it,” Bren sighed. “We are… working through things.”

“Betcha they kissed,” Ann laughed, elbowing Rosalyn.

“Hm, maybe,” Rosalyn hummed, tapping her lips. “Oh, look at that blush! If they didn’t, it’s something equally embarrassing.”

“Aye. Maybe they fell on each other tryin’ tae avoid an inquisitor? Hands went fun places?”

“We are present,” Bren grumbled.

“If ye’re not contributin’ tae the conversation, I’m countin’ that as absent. Nothin’ tae do but talk right now.”

“Gods help me. Fourteen more days before we arrive at our destination.”

“At least,” Rosalyn reminded him.

Bren let out an annoyed groan, his shoulder slumping. “With our luck, and Annita’s on top of it, this will take longer.”

“Then there’s the return trip. Who knows how long that’ll take,” Kat laughed. “It’d be easier if ye just came clean, though guessin’ is fun in its own way.”

“Private matters remain private unless all parties consent to them being revealed,” Bren stated flatly. It wasn’t the first time he’d pulled that line.

“Ugh, fine!” Ann threw up her hands. “What do you want to talk about instead?”

“I would very much enjoy more stories of your time,” Bren instantly replied. He was so fast he almost cut Ann off.

“Never ending with that,” Ann sighed. “Fine. Pick something. You get one a day.”

“What to ask… ah. You spoke of pantheons such as ours like mere myths. Ancient legends. What were some more contemporary forms of belief?”

“Cutting to the annoying ones. Sure you don’t want to know more about, like, the internet or something? It’s way more fun to talk about.”

“That will be for tomorrow,” Bren promised. “For now, please?”

“Fine. So, I’m gonna gloss over a lot here. There are probably hundreds or thousands of towns or villages that believe in their own local spirits and gods. Alright, so the big one was Christianity. Like the rest, it’s old as fuck, but it’s survived and was still followed.”

“Is this related to the Jesus Christ you exclaim occasionally when startled?” Bren asked.

“Yup. We’ll get to him. Basically, the religion started as a creation myth, which most of them did. One God.”

“Seems… boring,” Rosalyn commented.

“Eh, there’s cooler shit down the line here. So, he created the universe in seven days, but he took a nap on the seventh. Some sects took that to mean we should do nothing on those days. Anyway, he created the first man, Adam, and stuck him in a perfect garden. Adam, being a man, got bored and asked for someone to hang out with. The next part is controversial. Usually, the story goes that God made a woman out of Adam’s rib. So yeah, first man, first woman.”

“That seems limited,” Kat said, cocking her head. “Why wouldn’t he create, I dunno, way more people?”

“Dunno,” Ann shrugged. “That’s just how it went. So, God has these helpers called angels. Glowy holy messengers of his will. Big wings. Sometimes human, sometimes geometric shapes with way too many eyes. Anyway, the prettiest boy of all the angels was called Lucifer. Like, take the prettiest man you’ve ever seen, give him wings and an ego the size of a mountain, and you’ve got the guy. Boy, did he know it, too. When God made Adam and Eve, he told the angels that they would be above them, plus all their children. Pretty boy supreme decided that fucking sucked and rebelled. Because he did this, God tossed his ass down to hell and called him Satan.”

“Hell? Which Hell?” Bren asked.

“They only had one. Fire and brimstone, never ending agony and punishment. According to this guy named Dante, there was a frozen part, too.”

“So the Fire Hell and the Frozen Hell were in the same place?”

“If that helps you understand, then sure,” Ann shrugged. “Point is, Lucifer fucking hated this. Hated it to the point that he tempted Eve into eating this fruit from a tree in that perfect garden God had specifically told her not to eat. The fruit let her know what good and evil were. Eating this, she decided Adam needed to lose his innocence, too. Coulda just fucked it out of him, but nope, they chose the fruit. That was the first sin. God kicked them out, blocked off the garden, and they had to figure it out on their own. Eventually they had kids, and their kids had kids. So on and so forth, until humanity was a thing. Oh, and their original two sons didn’t like each other, and one did the first murder on the other.”

“This is surprisingly simple, yet utterly baffling,” Bren said, scratching his head. “So according to this belief, humanity is the product of consistent and persistent incest? I find the implications disturbing.”

“I try not to think about it,” Ann said. “So the rest of the scripture is a bunch of stories that are essentially lessons about not being a terrible human being. Don’t fuck someone else’s wife, don’t kill each other, don’t steal, all that stuff. Humans sucked at following those, so God flooded the earth and started over with a family on a boat.”

“Wait, hold on, what?” Kat asked. “He just killed all the people he called better than his own angels? Sorry, better luck next time?”

“Yeah. Got a guy, his family, and two of every animal into a big boat, and they survived.”

“And we have returned to incest.”

“You…” Ann paused. “Shit, you’re right. That’s fucked.”

“Did no one question this?” Bren asked.

“They’d have had to, right?” Rosalyn said. “Like, that’s just common knowledge. Any close or semi-close relative is just asking for issues with childbirth and the actual child.”

“Dude, I don’t know. Maybe it was different? Fewer people back when this was written?”

“Our ancestors…” Bren said with a disbelieving look. “Gods above, some of this should stay forgotten.”

“Yeah, well, you asked,” Ann grumbled. “Want to know more? Promise it gets less incesty.”

“If ye hold tae that,” Kat said.

“Yeah. So after the whole flood thing, a lot of time passed. There were prophets, holy men, all that stuff you’re familiar with. God was a real angry son of a bitch, too. You messed up, you had a good chance he’d smite you. Eventually, those who followed the religion and were from a certain region got enslaved by the Egyptians. Old civilization I’ll get to eventually, Bren. Don’t have time right now,” Ann said, raising a hand to cut off the scholars questions. “God enlisted a former prince from the people who’d been adopted by the king. All sorts of insane magical things happened, and the people got out through a sea.”

“Through it? This sounds like magic. You are sure your people did not have powers?”

“Maybe they were vestiges of what was left behind?” Ann suggested. “We have no clue when the Gods left. Maybe some little wisps of their power did stuff. I think they just made it up, though. So, a lot more time passes, and then this carpenter and his wife have a kid. Funny thing is, they didn’t have sex. The wife just got pregnant.”

“Hah, yeah right,” Kat chuckled. “Bet she got railed by someone else in the village. Didn’t want tae fess up.”

“You’re probably right,” Ann said. “The story goes that this was God’s kid. I… shit, that’s kinda important. God is separated into three parts of himself. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. They’re all still the same being, but independent to a point.”

“Similar to Qu’Sella?”

“Yeah, exactly!” Ann exclaimed. “That makes things easier. Ok, so kid’s name is Jesus. You hear me say Jesus Christ, that’s him. Kid grows up and starts preaching for his dad. He’s a lot less angry than older God was. Taught acceptance, love, kindness, all sorts of pretty good stuff. He hung out with whores and the sick. Outcasts were some of his favourites to chill with.”

“He sounds really nice,” Rosalyn said. “Did he stay nice or did he go bad and angry like his father?”

“No, he was fine. Well, he died. Another kingdom at the time didn’t like what he was saying, and one of his close companions betrayed him. Jesus knew this was coming, though, and used it to his advantage. They hung him on this torture thing called a cross until he died. It’s said that as he died, he took on all the world’s sins. This opened the door for people to get forgiven in the eyes of God, so they could fix shit they’d made a mess of spiritually.”

“Aw. That’s really nice,” Rosalyn sighed. “Sad he had to die for it, though.”

“Well, funny thing about that,” Ann grinned. “They put his body in a tomb and rolled a big rock over the entrance, as was the custom at the time. Three days later, that rock was broken and his body wasn’t in there. Then he started showing up to those close companions showing them the holes in his hands where he’d hung by. He went around telling everyone to keep up the good work, then left again, back to where God lived. I can’t remember much past that. When Jesus comes back, he’s going to take the good people with him, and then a big war with hell for the earth starts.”

“That could line up with the Gods return,” Bren muttered. “Though what few records we have do not mention such a disappearance prior.”

“Like I said, this is probably all made up, but it made people feel better, so it was popular. Of course, some people were better at following the message than others. Some took advantage of it. All sorts of crap.”

“And this God never once spoke to anyone else?” Bren asked.

“Nope. Oh, sure, people claimed he did, but there was no real evidence. Just what they said.”

“I can see where the opportunity for corruption was,” Bren mumbled. “If no one hears the God, then anyone could claim it. If that someone was in a seat of authority, then they could enforce their delusions or lies as truths.”

“And going against the religion would be seen as its own crime,” Ann nodded.

“Despicable. A God should be more careful with his followers,” Bren spat, the snow to his left cratering with the impact. “If he had been more communicative, this would not be a problem.”

“Yeah, but people are shitty, and that’s true for all times.”

“Aye,” Kat nodded. “All sorts o’ schemers still in society.”

“Greed,” Lucia said. “Common factor. Power. Wealth. Status.”

“Nailed it,” Ann said, shooting Lucia finger guns. The Thrundol just looked confused.

“So, yeah. Jesus was born in the fall, so we celebrate it in the dead of winter, obviously. Ritual consumption of his body and blood in the form of wine and bread were common, and all sorts of crazy stuff. Did I mention I don’t believe any of this? Never did. It was just so ubiquitous that I learned it all.”

“Major religions will do that,” Bren nodded. “We all know the basic tenets of each Temple.”

“Lucky you,” Rosalyn laughed. “I know Bryltia, Orenous, and Illdall. Have no clue what Voltid’s deal is beyond being a mountainous God who likes smithing. I’m apparently going to need to get to know Eas’ directions as well.”

“Ah, Eas is easy,” Kat said. “Be free as the wind. Always be blowin’ toward yer destination. Do not fear distractions, however, as they can be hidden opportunity. Let the winds guide ye. Be an enigma tae others, never completely reavealin’ who or what ye are. Ye are the wind. Ye are formless. When others stand in yer way, be not the gentle breeze, but a roarin’ storm. When the wind calls, answer it. Always be listenin’ fer the next breeze. The next opportunity.”

Rosalyn was quiet for a minute as she processed the information. Only the snow crunching under their boots and their breathing reached their ears.

“I don’t think I really like the part that says to be an enigma. I don’t want to be all mysterious. Just want to be me, you know?”

“Guidelines, little lamb,” Kat said gently. “Ye think Ann follows all o’ Orenous’ tenets?”

“I’ve still gotta read a few of those,” Ann grumbled. “These books are surprisingly dense.”

“She definitely doesn’t follow the one where it asks ye tae be content with what ye’ve got when it comes tae love. Bein’ greedy is a good way tae get intae trouble. Yet here’s Ann wit’ two girlfriends an’ if I can get me heart tae agree wit’ me head, maybe more.”

“Hey, I’ve got plenty of love to go around,” Ann shrugged. “But you two always get the most.”

“Aw,” Rosalyn cooed.

Lucia gagged again. Bren laughed.

“She does not find this nearly as repulsive as she lets on,” he said.

“Oh? Softening her up are ye?”

“It’s about time,” Rosalyn huffed. “Seriously, you two have been making bedroom eyes for days. I would know. Ann and Kat give me them all the time.”

“Like you don’t egg it on,” Ann said, knocking on one of Rosalyn’s horns. “You, ma’am, are far more into this than you let anyone else know.”

“Right, cause that’s private time, and then there’s people and people don’t want to hear about how much fun I have in the bedroom, which is a lot, let me tell you.”

“I do not need elaboration,” Bren sighed.

“So, ye gonna tell us? Bren, it’s only gonna make this more awkward fer days.”

Bren looked at Lucia, who just nodded.

“Fine. We… well, we got cornered by an inquisitor during the escape. She had a skill that made it difficult to tell lies. I could not come up with something that got around it. Lucia, however, did. She was asking about why we were hiding from the guards. Lucia said that we needed privacy, which of course made her ask why. Well, Lucia took me by the collar and kissed me.”

“Hot damn,” Ann whistled. “Good job, Lucia!”

Lucia returned a high five reluctantly.

“Did ye like it?” Kat asked, elbowing Bren jovially.

“It was pleasurable,” he muttered.

“Was good. Liked,” Lucia said.

“So you two lovebirds gonna share a tent? Get some more kissing in?” Rosalyn teased.

“We have not discussed where this will go next,” Bren said flatly.

“Well, don’t let us stop you. We’ve got nothing but time.” With that, Ann walked further ahead of the group, Kat and Rosalyn catching up to her. Ann’s sensitive ears caught Bren calling her names, but with no heat behind them.

“Aw, they’re gonna be so cute,” Kat laughed.

“Orenous?” Ann spoke to the sky. “Good job.”

A lighthearted feeling washed over her. Her Goddess was pleased.