Chapter 175: Seeing With New Eyes

Rosalyn Losenska

Rosalyn woke with a start. Blackness. That awful, cloying darkness surrounded her again. A whimper escaped her lips at the realisation that she was still blind. Ann’s arms were still around her, and someone was rustling papers over to her left. A depression and another hand on her thigh, a big hand, was Kat. That meant either Bren or Lucia was cleaning things up. Maybe both of them? Who knew? Someone who could see, that’s who.

“Rosalyn?” Ann’s voice asked against her ear. It was soft, honey smooth, like the first time Rosalyn had touched silk mere weeks ago. A decadence she never thought she’d have. “Hey. You awake?”

“Mhm,” Rosalyn murmured. Her throat felt a bit sore. Like she’d been breathing through her mouth all night. “Can I have some water, please?”

“We’ve got tea,” Kat offered.

“Tea’s good,” Rosalyn nodded. Shortly after her hand was taken and placed on the handle of a cup. It was warm, and smelled like one of Bren’s blends. Holding it with both hands, she took a sip and let it wash away the scratchiness of her throat. “Ah. Much better.”

“So?” Kat asked. She couldn’t see her, but she could hear Kat’s excitement clear as day. There was a worried edge to it, but excitement overrode the woman’s voice.

“Well, I definitely have someone in my soul now,” Rosalyn started. “Though they’re not at all like you two described. Her name is Xirali. She’s a sort of goat person? Cute. Flat as a board, and apparently doesn’t like clothes.”

“Wait, she’s humanoid?” Ann asked. “I thought they’d all be monsters or animals. Sounds like a satyr. A myth from my time, related to those gods I told you about, Bren.”

“Guess not,” Rosalyn shrugged. “Didn’t seem to be Vulhardrin either. Too much animal in her. More than you, Ann. She’s… bubbly? Kinda infectious with how much energy she’s got. I swear she could barely sit still to talk. Boy did we talk, too. There was a lot to go over. Set up some ground rules, likes and dislikes, what she’s allowed to speak up on, and not.”

“That is odd,” Bren hummed now from her right. “I would not think one of these creatures would be so amicable. Are they not out for our destruction?”

“Xirali said she thought that was stupid. If everyone was gone, who would be left to play with? Honestly, she’s a bit childlike with all of that. Plus, with Eas binding her to promises, I don’t think she’ll be too much of a problem.”

“Ah, so They are the one for you,” Bren nodded, scratches coming from his journal as he wrote. “What were They like?”

“Um… fleeting?” Rosalyn shrugged. “I only saw Them for a few moments. Told me to be quiet about seeing Them to Xirali and ruffled my hair? I just took that as it being ok. Once They did that, They just poofed like the wind. It was neat. This whole cloud of leaves that looked a bit like a person there one second, then gone the next. Totally get why Their temples are so open and free-form. Something like Them can’t be contained to a building with walls and all that.”

Rosalyn felt Ann tousle her hair and lean in. Soft lips pressed into the side of her forehead, and she leaned into the touch. “I’m glad I’m back.”

“That scary?” Ann asked.

“Still is, but now you’re here. Though I still can’t see. Was kinda hoping that’d be fixed before I got back.”

“Well, let’s just pass the time and see if anything changes. I don’t think any of us are sleeping anytime soon.”

“Speak for self,” Lucia grumbled. A creaking noise hit Rosalyn’s ears, and she cocked her head.

“She’s laying down on a couch. We brought it in while you were out. Also one of those big chairs for Bren.”

“You two can sleep. It’s been way harder a few days on you than me,” Rosalyn said, taking another swallow of her tea.

“Kat… could I ask you to, uh, take notes?” Bren asked. “Please avoid doodling in the margins.”

“What? Ye didn’t like the little coalshrew I put in there last time?” Kat laughed, shifting her weight on the bed, probably taking the journal.

“If it was a good illustration, maybe,” Bren grumbled. “It looked like a piece of feces with legs.”

Kat gasped. “Don’t ye insult Ser Soots! He is an honourable knight o’ the Kingdom!”

Rosalyn could feel Bren’s eyes roll. “Do your best. I will,” a large yawn, “grade you on the morrow.”

“So, now that I’m resident scholar, note taker, an’ expert in all things academic,” Kat said in a pompous tone, “what did ye see? What’s yer soul like?”

“Gods, where to begin?” Rosalyn sighed. She went over the details in length. The vista was seared into her mind as she recounted the babbling brooks, larger river, hills full of life with large rocks sticking out like sentinels. Even when she was done, she didn’t feel like she’d done it justice.

“Why the hell is yours so nice?” Ann whined. “I’d take that over the snowy woods any day.”

“Hmm,” Kat said in her best Bren impersonation. “Could it be that the inhabitants within our souls are molding them to better suit their malicious preferences?”

“Don’t sound like that,” Bren grumbled sleepily.

“Go to sleep,” Kat laughed. “So, Xirali? What’s she like?”

“Well, taller than me. Tan, but not as dark as Ann. She’s got these cute little goat’s horns that stick up out of her hair here and here,” she pointed at her own scalp. “Vines and leaves are all over the place, but never cover anything too much. Definitely not some wood creature, either. Flesh and blood. She’s got these really pretty eyes, too. You know goat eyes, right? Definitely like that. The weird horizontal pupils. They were sparkly and a deep brown. Honestly, brown seems to be her colour. Not in the boring way, but kinda earthy and nice. Gods, she liked to talk, too. I thought I could go on about things, but she just talked for what felt like an hour about how much she loved the river.”

“Mhm, mhm,” Kat hummed, scratching away furiously. “Ye said she was flat?”

“Oh yeah. I thought she was a guy at first, but nope! Like I said, really cute. Anyway, from there, she’s got chocolate fur all the way up her hips and then a pair of hooves instead of feet. She could run and jump so much better than I could, it was kinda unfair.”

“Yeah, that’s definitely a satyr,” Ann chuckled. “Or maybe some kind of fae that’s similar. Shit, if she’s fae, she’s gonna be tricky to deal with. Did she give you any bad vibes?”

“Kinda,” Rosalyn nodded. “Like, she talked a lot, but also felt like she was directing the conversation how she wanted it to go, rather than just letting it flow. Tried not to let her, and control things, but there’s only so much I could do. I didn’t answer many of the questions she had. Just the little things about me that she’d find anyway if she’s digging through my memories. My favourite snack, things about back home, my old house, all that. She was really enthusiastic about it all and kept me going. Kept calling me friend, too.”

“Manipulative,” Ann grumbled. “Be the most friendly person possible to get people to lower their guards.” Rosalyn felt Ann shake behind her. “Hate those people.”

Kat was still writing, trying to catch up with Rosalyn’s quick speech. “So we’ve got a Warped who wants tae be yer friend fer whatever goals they’ve got?”

“Even offered to help,” Rosalyn said. “Said I could call her my assistant. That she’d help with any knowledge she had when dissecting or fighting. Seemed like a good idea to accept.”

“Be careful with that,” Ann cautioned. “That’s a good way for her to send you into danger. Tell you to cut open a poison organ or something.”

“Call it a hunch, but I don’t think she’d do that? I’m not sure why, but that’s the sense I’ve got. Plus, if she was as nefarious as the rest, doesn’t she want me alive for later?”

“She makes a good point,” Kat muttered.

“It’s three points of data, with one being an outlier. I don’t think we can draw a conclusion from this,” Ann sighed. Her breath tickled Rosalyn’s ear. “Still, it’s another thing that we can use to keep asking questions. Not sure if Xirali will answer us honestly, but she’s more talkative than Waheela or the dragon.” Ann paused for a moment. “Waheela says that an overabundance of words doesn’t speak to one’s intelligence. Sorry, Rosalyn. Don’t think our Warped are going to be buddies.”

Rosalyn couldn’t help a giggle. “Probably not. Surly old wolf wants people off her property. Sounds like Grandpa before he passed. Well, at least I’ve got that part out of the way. Now I get to deal with the constant dread and stress questioning when I’m going to have more changes and if Xirali is going to get stronger. How do you two deal with the jabbering in your noggins?”

“Well, it’s not gonna start like tha’,” Kat explained. “Bettin’ she’ll be quiet fer a couple weeks unless somethin’ important’s happenin’. Then they just kinda start talkin’ when they want? Ol’ dragon likes tae do it when I’m feelin’ down.”

“Waheela kinda just talks when she feels like it, but makes an effort when I’m feeling shitty,” Ann agreed. “I’ll figure her out sooner or later.”

“Hope she actually helps. Would be nice to have someone to double check my work that knows a bit about it.”

“Doesn’t she just know what ye know? How’s that different from ye double checkin’?”

“Well, she obviously knows something more, but even then, hearing it repeated back to you helps make sure your thinking isn’t dumb. Kinda like when you read out this big letter you wrote, find a sentence that sounds really stupid now that you’re reading it out loud, and have to scrap it and try again. Or when you’re just monologuing to yourself as you dissect various woodland beasts, cataloguing each part as you go, then you realise you missed a part, have to go back and double check, then gather the useful things and leave the rest to the scavengers. Simple stuff.” Rosalyn shrugged into the blackness.

“Uh huh,” Ann said slowly. Rosalyn didn’t need to see to know she’d probably said something weird again. She’d heard that tone hundreds of times. They didn’t get it, but that hardly mattered. It was her brain, and it worked how she wanted it to. Well, maybe not all the way, and now it had a roommate — a really cute roommate — but still, now it was all crowded and Xirali better not make a mess or she’d have to sweep everything back into where it was supposed to go. Wait, could Xirali move things around? Could she sweep her brain? That sounded dumb, but getting into your own soul and having a conversation with another entity was completely batty, so it might be possible? Would she have a normal stick broom or a big push broom like the carpenter had? Was she limited, or could she get a broom however she wanted? It was her brain, her soul, so maybe she could do whatever in there? But it was mostly dirt and grass. Sweeping wouldn’t do much. Maybe she’d get into gardening, help with some of the weeds, though some of those weeds were wildflowers and those were pretty, so she’d leave those, but the nasty spiky ones would get pruned. Sure they had some purpose in the real world, but in her own soul? Nah, she could do without. Unless it affected the bees, because those were really important for everything to grow, because pollination. Bees were super cute. What was she thinking about again? Right! Ann and Kat being confused about how her brain worked.

“You know you can ask me to explain, right?” Rosalyn giggled. “I know my brain doesn’t always make sense.”

“Don’t worry, lambchop,” Ann said, using that nickname. It was kinda funny, she loved it, even if it was food. She thought she probably should be offended by it, but Ann said it with so much love that eventually she’d accepted. Miiight also be concerning with her newly discovered fetish for being scared, but that was something she was deliberately not thinking about, so she should focus on what Ann was saying. “-figure it out. It’s fun watching you be you.”

“Sorry, I got distracted, what?” Rosalyn asked.

“Just saying that you think some things are normal that would have someone blowing chunks. Usually we can figure it out, so yeah,” Ann clarified. She was always patient like that. It was one of the things she liked most about the lady. Focus.

“At least people aren’t calling me a witch here, so that’s nice.”

“Wait until we start travellin’ again,” Kat joked. “Might get tae reclaim yer title.”

“Uuugh, can we not?” Rosalyn groaned. “Years! Years of that! I. Am. A. Druid!”

“We know,” Kat laughed. “Just pokin’ some fun at ye.”

Rosalyn pouted and crossed her arms, which only got happy noises from her girlfriends. It wasn’t fair that she couldn’t act grumpy without them thinking it was cute. “Bullies.”

“Love you too,” Ann laughed, giving her a quick kiss.

“So what does it look like? My eyes, I mean. What does it look like when I have them closed and no eyeballs behind them? You grow yours back so quickly, Ann, that I never get a good look. Almost like the old set pushes out the new set.”

She felt a large, rough hand take her chin, tilting her head back. That was Kat. Ann’s hands were still soft, even though they were what she used to fight. Maybe another thing from Orenous.

“Definitely different. Apparently, the back o’ yer socket is a lighter colour than yer skin. When ye have ‘em closed, they’re more flat, but they still work. Folds’re still there. Just really weird in general.”

“Might ask you to try to pause your eye regrowth next time, so I can see what it’s like, Ann. See what I looked like a bit, but you’d probably look beautiful regardless, cause you’re you, and even missing eyes wouldn’t hurt that much, but your eyes are so pretty that I don’t want that to happen. Wait, you’re still in your purple fur, I completely forgot, you never changed back. Still got the gold eyes?”

“Yup. Need to get those changed soonish. Go back to regular me.”

“Green does suit ye better,” Kat agreed, letting go of Rosalyn’s chin. “An’ the darker colours. Agree wit’ me mum. Makes ye look like some exotic fruit. A fluffy, gorgeous one, but still.”

“Aw, thanks,” Ann said sarcastically. “The scales make you look like a tropical fish.”

“Might as well be a feckin’ fish wit’ how much ye cum. Goddamn waterfall.”

“At least I like getting eaten out.”

“Ye’re not helpin’ wit’ the fruit thing, love.”

“I know,” Ann groaned.

Rosalyn felt an itch deep inside her head. It was in a weird spot she’d never felt before. “Ann? Kat? Something’s happening!”

“More pain?” Kat asked, alarmed. Always protecting, that one.

“No…” that changed quickly. “Yup! Oh wow, that hurts! Why’s it gotta hurt?” Sparks filled Rosalyn’s absent vision as a headache even worse than the one from a couple hours ago. Ann held her hands still so she couldn’t scratch or do anything dumb, and she was grateful, because wow did she want to rub her eyes. She couldn’t help the whimpering noise that came out of her as she braced against Ann’s hands. The pain blossomed and grew until she was sweating, her breath ragged in her throat as she groaned. At long last, it was over, and she was left panting, sagging in Ann’s grip. Her eyes were still closed. She was scared to open them.

“Is it over?” Ann asked.

Rosalyn whimpered, but nodded.

“Take yer time,” Kat soothed, wiping her forehead with a cloth. “Whenever ye’re ready.”

Rosalyn fought and got her breath back under control. Why did her first change have to be all painful, and Kat’s was just itchy? It wasn’t fair. Still, she needed to see what had happened to her eyes. Bracing herself, she opened them.

At first she thought nothing had changed. Everyone looked pretty much the same. Colours looked right. Depth perception seemed fine. Kat looked worried as a mother hen, but that was to be expected. Ann’s arms were there, and her purple-furred legs. “Oh, oooh,” Rosalyn said, as she moved her eyes around. “That’s gonna take some getting used to.” Her peripheral vision was insane. She could see around her so much better than she used to. Unfortunately, it came at a cost. Her vertical vision was worse. It just blurred and ended further down. She had an idea what had happened.

“Are they at least still the same colour?” she asked weakly.

Kat leaned in, inspecting, then smiled. “Aye. Still brown wit’ the flecks o’ green.”

“They’re sheep’s eyes, aren’t they?”

Ann twisted her head by the horn to take a look. “Yup. Woah, that’s really cool. What’s it like?”

“Peripherals are really good but the, um, the up and down are not as good. Kinda blurry and darker? Like, harder to see the sky, I guess, or the floor if I’m looking straight.”

“Well, that’s not great,” Ann sighed. “At least glasses are a thing. Wonder if they could help with that.”

“Ann, magic is a thing,” Kat chuckled.

“Shit, right,” Ann laughed. “So, what? Wendyl?”

“Wendyl,” Kat nodded.

“They’re really pretty,” Ann said, picking Rosalyn up and carrying her to a nearby mirror.

She was right. They were still pretty. That nice brown and green blend she’d had her whole life. Overall, it wasn’t too much of a change. The new pupils were definitely striking, and stood out a lot, but not in a bad way. She could get used to that.

“So?” Ann prompted.

“I like ‘em,” Rosalyn nodded. “Wish I didn’t have to go blind for a while to get them, but they’re pretty.”

“Maybe whatever’s next will be less painful,” Ann said, carrying her back to bed.

Rosalyn let out a loooong yawn. Suddenly all the adrenaline left her system, and she felt weak and tired. “I’m kinda sleepy,” she slurred.

“Think we all are, love,” Kat said, reaching out to take her from Ann. Rosalyn was passed between them, and snuggled up against Kat.

“I’m still sweaty.”

“Shh, it’s ok. We’ll take a bath in the mornin’.”

“Mmmm, g’night,” Rosalyn mumbled as Ann pressed up behind her.

“Goodnight,” both her girlfriends said back.

Rosalyn felt sleep, maybe more exhaustion, slowly take her away.