Chapter 30: Scrubbing

~~~

I caught my reflection in the mirror above the sink. Dishevelled hair, dull eyes, and lips still faintly bruised from earlier. I grimaced and looked away.

Without another thought, I stripped down, kicking off my clothes in a heap on the floor before stepping into the shower. The tile was cold against my feet as I turned on the tap. A burst of water sputtered out before settling into a steady stream, pouring down in thick, hot rivulets.

My hair draped over my face, strands clinging to my skin, weighed down by the water. I reached out blindly, fingers brushing against the collection of bath items lining the wall. My hand found a bathing brush, one that Nora usually used.

I gripped it tight.

Then, I started scrubbing.

The bristles scraped harshly against my skin as I dragged it over my arms, my shoulders, my chest, anywhere I could reach. I pressed harder, faster, the rough bristles scraping away at the lingering filth I imagined still clung to me. My breaths came quicker, water mixing with the sweat forming on my brow, my jaw clenched so tight it hurt.

Harder.

Redness bloomed across my skin, pain flaring as I scrubbed without mercy. My body screamed at me to stop, but I couldn’t. Not until every trace of that feeling was gone.

By the time my grip on the brush finally loosened, my skin was raw, tender to the touch. My fingers trembled as I let the brush slip from my grasp, hitting the tile with a dull thud.

I leaned back against the wall, chest rising and falling in uneven breaths, water washing over me as if it could cleanse something deeper than just my skin.

But no matter how hard I scrubbed, the filth felt too deep within me.

Stepping out of the shower, the steam clinging to my skin, I drag my feet across the cold floor, too exhausted to even dry off properly.

I collapse onto the bed, the dampness seeping into the sheets, and let out a heavy sigh. Feeling too tired to care about anything but the pull of my body sinking into the mattress.

I just laid there, curled up at Nora’s remnants, inhaling the faint traces of her scent still clinging to the sheets. It was comforting, it soothed my mind, yet… I knew, I knew it was wrong.

She was right.

I shouldn’t have gone to that damn school.

I wanted to tell her that. To admit everything. I wanted to let it all out, to hear her voice tell me it was okay, that I could rely on her.

I stared at the doorway, waiting, anticipation tightening my chest. After a long while, I finally heard it, the clink of the front door unlocking, the soft creak as it swung open.

Nora stood there, weary… tired, her shoulders slumped, her head dipped slightly, and her eyes dizzily searching as they landed on me.

She looked worn. Like she bore the burden of the world, she barely even had the strength to keep standing.

Concern quaked in my chest, overtaking everything else.

My worries, my problems, all of those thoughts just… disappeared.

Nora didn’t say a word. Instead, she took a slow step forward, then another. Her movements were sluggish. Like this, she managed to reach the bedside.

Her breaths were slow, almost unsteady. Her shoulders sagged, her fingers trembled just slightly where they gripped at me. Whatever kind of day she’d had, it had drained everything out of her.

I couldn’t add to that.

I couldn’t drop my problems onto her shoulders when she was already like this.

So I swallowed it all down… the fear, the anger, the helplessness clawing at my chest. I forced it deep, locked it away. I’d figure it out on my own. Some way or another.

With a slow inhale, I forced my lips into a small, easy smile and lifted a hand, combing my fingers gently through her hair. "Long day?" I murmured, keeping my voice steady.

But before I could react, she slumped down further, her weight pressing against me as she buried her face into my shoulder.

“Nora…?” My voice came out uneasy, but she didn’t pull away.

Instead, to my shock, I felt the soft, warm press of her lips against my own. Then my cheek. Then lower. Slow, her glistening lips braising my skin, needy, searching.

My nerves jumped.

“Nora, what are you-”

She didn’t stop. Her lips dragged along my face, damp and wanting, leaving a trail of heat that made my body go rigid.

A lump formed in my throat. “Are you drunk?” I managed to ask, trying to gauge her expression.

Her eyes weren’t the glazed-over mess of someone lost in a drunken stupor. They were sharp, dark pools shimmering under the dim light, hooded with a dreary desire I couldn’t name.

And then it spiralled down. Each lick, each drawn-out claw and scratch, the pulsation of her flesh... as she whispered the promise of our children.

The entire night, I witnessed a familiar feeling of my body being robbed of me.

~~~

The steady roar of the taxi engine drummed our ears, with the faint vibration of the road rolling beneath the tyres. I stared out the window, watching the city blur past in streaks of morning light, but my mind wasn’t on the scenery.

I kept thinking back to yesterday. Like always, parts of it felt… hazy. I knew what went down. I knew what Selina had done. I knew Kael had been there, pissed off on my behalf. I knew we had gone to the dean and had been shut down like it was nothing.

But last night… I wanted to avoid recalling it.

It wasn’t just the usual gaps in my memory. It was the way my body felt off when I woke up, the lingering heat in my skin, the way my breath had caught when I first opened my eyes.

I swallowed hard, my fingers twitching against my knee. I didn’t dream often, or at least, not anything I could remember.

Awkward wouldn’t even begin to describe what I felt. Surprised? Dumbfounded? Horrified?

The idea that Nora and I were… doing that in my dream. It somehow surmounted whatever else had happened yesterday. That somewhere in the depths of my subconscious, that kind of thought even existed…

I exhaled sharply, pressing my fingers against my temple. No. That was just… just stress, or my brain twisting things in a messed-up way. I kept telling myself it didn’t mean anything.

I stole a glance at Nora. She hadn’t moved, still sitting there with her arms crossed, looking half-asleep. But my eyes lingered, travelling across her body, recalling the indecent memory.

There was no way she had any idea about the shit running through my head right now and I’d make sure she never would.

Half-asleep, Nora shifted beside me, moving with a slow, lazy weight, and before I could react, she leaned against me.

Her warmth pressed against my side, her breath soft and steady, carrying the faintest scent of her shampoo, something like a lemon tart mixed with something sweeter.

Her arms loosely curled around mine, and before I could even think to stop her, she burrowed against me, her chest closing around my arm in a way that sent a warm jolt through my entire body.

The dream flashed in my mind again, unwarranted.

I could still feel it, the faint of something that never happened. The way her lips had traced over mine, with a pulsing warmth.

The way her fingers had traced along my skin, possessive, needing. The hushed gasps, the overwhelming heat, the sheer wrongness of it all.

My heartbeat pounded in my ears, drowning out the quiet hum of the car engine.

No. No, stop it. Stop thinking about it.

I swallowed, forcing my gaze out the window, locking onto the passing scenery like my life depended on it. Buildings blurred past in a haze, but it wasn’t enough to drown out the feeling. My body reacted in a biological fashion I couldn’t control.

Carefully, I pulled my arm from her embrace, moving slowly enough not to jostle her too much.

She had slumped a little too much, her head tilted at an angle that looked uncomfortable. Gently, I adjusted her, easing her back against the seat, brushing a few stray strands of hair away from her face.

But as soon as I did, I realized that she was awake. Nora’s eyes, half-lidded, had an unreadable look settled in them as they flickered up to meet mine.

Then, just as quickly, they lowered.

Right to my crotch.

A slow, knowing smile crept across her lips.

Heat flooded my entire face.

I stiffened, a surge of deep, unbearable embarrassment locking my body in place. My breath caught in my throat, and for a second I was thinking of what all excuses I could make.

But all that remained was just a suffocating silence in that taxi. I don’t know if that was for the better or worse. Seconds turned into minutes, yet it felt like hours had passed, my mind replaying the shameful scene that took place.

Thankfully, or rather inevitably, taxi finally pulled up to the academy, slowing to a smooth stop in front of the Tera branch’s entrance.

Before the driver could even fully halt, I was already reaching for the door handle, desperate to get out.

Anything to shake off the lingering mortification crawling under my skin.

But just as I swung my legs out and started to leave, her voice, laced with amusement, stopped me in my tracks.

"So, big brother is also a man it seems."

I nearly tripped.

Heat flared back up to my face as I whipped around, barely catching the playful glint in Nora’s eyes before I scowled. “W-What the hell does that mean?” I stammered, cursing myself for how abashed I sounded.

She only smiled, leaning back into her seat, stretching like a satisfied cat. Then, softer, more casual-

"I love you."

Even with everything, her teasing, the smugness, the way she so effortlessly made my life a living embarrassment. I knew she meant it.

Sighing, I rubbed the back of my neck before muttering begrudgingly, “...I love you too.”

A small chuckle left her lips, satisfied.

I didn’t wait for anything else. Slamming the taxi door shut, I quickly turned and strode off toward the academy entrance, my heart still beating way too fast in my chest.

I steeled my resolve, to survive my second day here.

~~~

As I walked into the academy grounds, the usual hum of students filled the air, chatting, laughing, footsteps echoing across the campus. It was the same morning atmosphere as always, yet I felt oddly detached from it all. My mind was still reeling from the amount of stuff just going through my brain.

But as I climbed the steps leading into the main building, my eyes caught on to something. A pair of familiar round ears twitched peeking right above the railing as they shook idly. I went around, to take a look and the moment our eyes met, Kael’s ears perked sharply.

Her expression flickered, as if in surprise, before she quickly hopped off her seat and rushed toward me.

I barely had time to react before her arms wrapped around me in a warm, firm hug.

I blinked. My body stiffened instinctively, not expecting the sudden embrace, but the warmth of it wasn’t unwelcome. She held onto me tightly, her tail flicking behind her, and I could feel the faint rhythm of her heartbeat through her chest.

I let out a small, breathless chuckle, smiling despite myself. “Uh… what was that for?”

Kael pulled back just enough to look up at me, her usual smirk absent. There was something softer in her expression, something earnest.

“I was worried you wouldn’t come today,” she admitted.

Ah.

I looked at her for a moment, the sincerity in her voice catching me off guard. I just wasn’t used to someone outside my mother and sister who openly looked out for me.

A small part of me wanted to brush it off, make some joke to lighten the mood. But instead, I exhaled, the tension in my shoulders loosening just a bit.

“Well, I’m here, aren’t I?” I said, giving her a lopsided grin.

Kael huffed, her ears flicking as if she wasn’t entirely convinced. “Yeah, but still... I mean, if you didn’t show up, I totally would’ve hunted you down.” She smirked, poking my shoulder. “Dragged your ass back myself.”

I let out a soft laugh, shaking my head. “Good to know I’ve got a personal search party.”

“You bet.” Her tail swayed behind her, her expression brightening before she nudged me forward.

As we walked side by side, something in my chest felt just a little lighter.

Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad. And as we walked, her hand latched onto mine, her voice light but firm.

“I’ll always find you, y’know? No matter what.”