Chapter 83: Definitely a Demon

Erik had quieted down by the time I’d made it back to the edge of the forest. I’d made myself look totally human again just to be sure, although I left aura sight on. I knew where we were supposed to meet back up—by the well nearest Erik’s family home. I just wasn’t sure how to go about this.

I didn’t get to make that decision. I only barely noticed the figures hidden up on the roof of the closest building before something magic was fired my way. Barely, I was able to dodge the arrow. If I hadn’t had my aura sight on, I would’ve been hit by it. Or Erik would have.

Predictably, he started screaming again.

Oh, screw this!

I dashed out of the treeline, dropped Erik, and moved a good few paces away. Another few arrows were loosed my way and one tore into my shoulder. I ripped it out, wound already healing. Erik, meanwhile, started shouting about demons and ran toward the town. I heard voices, but couldn’t make out the words at this distance.

“Can we talk about this?” I shouted. “Please?”

I was met with silence. Magic flared around me, the earth turning to mud and pulling me in. I let myself sink to my waist. The tall grass outside of my little mudhole came up to my chin now.

“Seriously? I haven’t lied to you except for the one thing you’re trying to kill me over. And the only reason I did that was because I wanted to avoid the exact situation I’m in now.”

Fira shouted an order and several more arrows flew at me. I stopped them with a wave of fire, reigning it in to stop the grass from catching. The earth started to pull me in farther, water turning it to mud.

For a moment, I felt fear. I couldn’t really use my strength in mud like this, and for all I knew I needed to breathe. I didn’t want to find out if that wasn’t true, but I also hadn’t ever heard stories of demons dying by drowning in mud.

I did what I could and tried to heat it—to burn the water out into dry earth. Fira’s magic fought my own, but was quickly overwhelmed. They shouted another order and the dried mud I was in tightened, as if trying to crush me. It didn’t work, and I started to pull myself free, limbs breaking through magicked dirt more easily than I would have dared hope.

Then, a massive slab of dirt and rock slammed down toward my exposed body. I lifted up a single hand and blocked it. For the first time in a very long time, my muscles strained, but only for a moment, and then the slab shattered and fell around me. I pulled myself the rest of the way out.

I took a few steps toward them, swatting more arrows out of the sky. Then, I did the only thing I could think of: I sat down in the middle of the field, cross-legged and frowning.

“So can we talk now?” I shouted. “I’m on your side!”

I waited for a response. Erik reached the group, babbled something, and was tackled to the ground quite satisfyingly.

“I’m not just trying to get close or something! I don’t need your permission to do that, and if I wanted to fight you all I’d be fighting you all.”

More silence. I could clearly see the hidden figures now, and I spotted Fira back behind the peak of a barn roof. I waved at them, and they stiffened, but didn’t wave back.

“I’d say I could wait, but I’m covered in mud, mentally drained, and I should probably give a statement about what I saw Erik doing. Really, I just want a bath, a change of clothes, and to not have people trying to kill me. Basic, normal stuff.”

More silence. I was controlling my fury at acquiescing to these mortals, based mostly on my distinct lack of a giant, sensitive, throbbing, ego. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t getting tired of this. The attacks had stopped. Whether that was from my display showing them they were mostly pointless, a conservation of their resources, or if they were listening to me, I couldn’t tell at all.

“Stupid question, I know, but is there anything I can do to prove anything to you? I’m not like most de—of my kind, really. I’m a little more, er, down to earth.” I rubbed my forehead for lack of a horn to tap. “Look, this conversation’s really hard to have shouting over a field where everyone can hear, okay? This is private stuff. Some of it is actually private and not just because, uh, yeah.”

“Don’t listen to her!” someone shouted.

Fira shouted to be quiet back.

I waited for a while longer, but I didn’t want to be out here until the sun came up. Casually, I walked toward the group. A few more attacks hit me, but I was able to avoid or rebuff most of them. The ones that did, didn’t do more than superficial damage that healed quickly.

I climbed up onto Fira’s barn only to find them and the others moving to the next one. I sighed, sat down until they’d gotten to their retreat spot—organized bunch, they were—and then moved. Now, I’m not as fast as other demons, but I don’t often get a chance to move at full speed.

Did I drop my transformation? Yes. Did anyone see? A whole bunch of Gelles Company folks, but hopefully no farmers. Could this maybe cause problems later? Yes, but I wanted to fix the problems I had now much, much more.

Before Fira could move more than two steps, I’d crossed the distance, climbed up onto the protesting shed, and grabbed their shoulder.

Before they could react to me holding them, I let go. “Gotcha!” I said playfully, sticking my forked tongue out and showing my twin rows of beautifully sharp teeth.

Immediately, Drin attacked me, but Tren hesitated. The heavily armored woman brought her shield up to knock me off balance. I brought one of my upper arms up and let her hit me, hardly moving as her weight crashed into mine. The roof underneath made a cracking sound. She swung her sword down and I caught it in another hand—the mundane blade not even leaving a scratch.

“I understand why you’re afraid of me.” I said as calmly as I could. “Heck, for the longest time, I was afraid of—”

Drin cut me off by shoving forward again, attempting to unbalance me. Fira scrambled away, and warm water slicked the roof under me. Tren unhelpfully burned my clothes, the fire doing absolutely nothing to hurt me.

Unfortunately, I lost my balance. Double unfortunately, the roof lost its balance, and Drin, Tren, Fira and I went crashing through it. There were farm implements stored below, pointy ends up. I wouldn’t care, but the lightly armored Tren and Fira certainly would.

Before we landed, I grabbed the two of them and pulled them into a hug, my other arms shoving Drin to the side of the shed without pointy bits. Metal bent and shafts snapped underneath me as my weight crushed some poor farmer’s perfectly good tools. Said tools also ruined my mostly good shirt and trousers.

I was so close to keeping this set of clothes.

There was a moment of silence once we’d all crashed down and I seized the initiative.

“Is everyone okay?” I asked

Wait, wrong initiative! I wanted to ask if we could talk.

Drin coughed out a reflexive “Yeah.”

Tren nodded, still held by one of my arms. He stared at me, but didn’t speak. Fira, also held by me, stared at me intently. I withered under their gaze.

“You’re like her aren’t you?” they asked.

“Her?”

“The demon my former teacher said he loved.”

Well that’s a bombshell.

“Wha-who?” I replied, absolutely elegantly and in no way a mumbled mess.

“Professor Travend—I studied under him in Ardath before his expulsion and exile. He’d started dating a demon in secret; her name was—”

“Fira, Drin, Tren! Are you alright? Did you get the demon?” voices shouted from outside.

I couldn’t suppress a giggle.

Fira looked at me oddly. “Maybe!?” they shouted back.

“What do you mean maybe?” a voice replied. “Hang on, I’m breaking the door in!”

Drin, who’d been glaring at me this whole time, shifted out of the way just in time for the sad remains of the door to fall inward off its wooden hinges, kicked in by a rather sturdy-looking boot. A face followed the boot, and the man’s eyes widened when he saw me more or less hugging Fira and Tren on top of a bed of sharp bits of steel and wood.

“Hiya!” I waved with my tail because all my arms were full.

The man froze, fear evident across his face. Outside, there were shouts, footsteps and a cacophony of voices as the rest of the mercs closed in on the shed.

“Fira?” I asked nervously. “A little help here?”

“Don’t start shouting,” Fira said with a forced calm evident from how their voice strained against it. They twisted in my grip and I quickly let them go.

The man looked from them to me and I wasn’t sure if his continued silence was agreement or fear. I get it, I’m scary. Honestly, I’m not that scary, it’s really just the stigma of demons in general. Sadly, I’ll admit that’s earned. I kept my thoughts to myself. I felt like any sudden speech or movement would break the thin veneer of calm that was holding everything together.

“You heard Fira,” Drin grumbled as she stood up and rolled her shoulders. “Boss?” She inclined her head toward Fira.

They sighed and gestured to me. “Tell the others we need to meet up and talk about the demon.” I waved back and smiled sheepishly—lips only. “I think the big barn on the farm north of the town center isn’t in use—get people to meet up there.”

The man nodded hesitantly and backed out of the shed.

“Drin?” Fira asked.

“Yeah, I’ll go with him.” She gave one last look at me still holding Tren. “You alright, Tren?”

“Oh?” He seemed to snap out of his thoughts. “Uh, yeah, fine—great, actually. Just thinking about some stuff.”

Drin glared at me.

I put my free hands up in surrender. “I did nothing you didn’t see me do. All I can do is mess with people’s anger anyway, and you’d probably know if I did that. I think?”

Drin looked back at Tren who smiled and shrugged. She mumbled, “His love of magic’s gonna kill him someday,” and walked out.

I didn’t think I was meant to hear that last part.

With Drin gone and the crowd outside moving away (not without grumbles and a shout from Drin), Fira turned back to me. “Could you let him go, too?”

Whoops. “Yeah, sure!” I let Tren go.

He climbed down and I took a moment to pull myself off my bed of broken farming implements and sit cross-legged on the dirt floor of the shed. My tail twitched nervously behind me; I caught Fira’s eyes wandering toward it. Tren, meanwhile, fixed his gaze on the floor.

“Hey, uh, boss?” Surprisingly, it was Tren who spoke. “Can I learn magic theory from Zarenna, or would that mean I was ‘consorting with demons?’”

Fira put a hand to their forehead. “Tren?”

“It’s ‘consorting with demons,’ isn’t it?”

“Not now please?”

“So… it might not be?”

“Tren…”

“Uh.” I raised my top right hand. “May I?”

“Sure, Zarenna,” Fira replied, sounding tired. “You have my permission to speak. I can’t believe this is how tonight’s gone.”

They whispered that last part. Should I tell them about demon hearing? Probably not right now?

“Tren,” I looked at him and his hope-filled eyes, “I wanted to ask you that same question actually. I don’t know much magical theory at all—most of what I do is instinctual and, frankly, cheating by human standards.”

Tren slouched. “Really? Well, uh, I’d be happy to teach you! And you can teach me some stuff too! I’d bet there’s a lot you know that you might not think is special but could be revolutionary. But I guess maybe not? I don’t want to get kicked out of the company or anything.” He looked hopefully at Fira.

They shook their head. “All right, that tears it. You!” they pointed to me, “are clearly not a normal demon—whatever normal even means. And you,” they glared at Tren, “need to be kept away from anything even resembling forbidden magical knowledge or you’ll try to find a ‘good use’ for it.”

“Does Zarenna’s magic count as—”

“I. Don’t. Know yet.” Steam started to pour off Fira in waves.

Tren shut up and nodded rapidly.

“If we’re done here, then I’m taking us over to meet the rest of the group and we’re going to decide what to do about you together. Zarenna?”

I slouched to attention. “Yes, ser?”

“Make yourself look human again and follow me. Make any unexpected moves and I’ll…” They closed their eyes and shook their head. “Fuck. Just please follow my orders, okay?”

“Sure thing, boss!” I smiled broadly and the two of them shivered.

***

We made it safely to the barn, although I was hardly dressed for any social occasion. Fira seemed somewhat willing to believe me, which I desperately needed. I’d heard from them that they’d not told the town about any demons because they didn’t want to incite a panic or draw the Church’s eye and all the trouble it’d cause. They had planned to in the morning, however, so it was a good thing I’d not run away. They’d more or less arrested Salvador on suspicion of consorting with a demon, which, technically he was very guilty of. Erik had been tied up and was being questioned as we spoke.

Once inside, I could see the whole company group gathered in the small space.

“Yes, I am certain she has not influenced my thoughts,” Salvador told someone as I entered with Fira. I waved at him, and he waved back with a smile, continuing, “she’s a friend. A friend whom I trust.”

His conversation partner harrumphed and looked at me with distrusting eyes. I gave him a weak smile. This is going to be an uphill battle, but if I can pull it off…

“Attention everyone!” Fira shouted, striding forward to the center of the crowd. They stepped up onto a crate and motioned for Drin to close to doors. “There’s a discussion we need to have as a group. One I didn’t ever think we’d need to have. Now, I know a couple of us aren’t here right now because they’re guarding Erik so he doesn’t hurt himself or others, but we can fill them in later, and they’ll get counted for any votes we do make.”

“What’s all this?” an armored woman of Ordian complexion whom I barely recognized spoke up and pointed at me. “She’s a demon! Just cut off her head and be done with it!”

“It’s not that simple, Paula—”

“And why isn’t it?” Paula shouted back, hand on the hilt of her sword. “Or did she get her hooks in you too?”

“Paula,” Fira said dangerously, “I am the leader of this group. We will do as I say until such time that I am demonstrably compromised, at which point, by rule of supermajority, I may be removed and replaced. Am I understood?”

I hoped Paula would back down. Many others looked nervously from me to her and Fira and back again, shifting uneasily. Drin had her hand on the hilt of her own weapon, but was staring, along with Tren, at Paula. I didn’t know if it was for my sake or Fira’s authority, but either was fine by me.

I could feel a lot of anger in the room, coming from enough sources that I almost couldn’t keep track. Paula’s anger was the brightest by far. I didn’t want to mess with it yet. I could easily screw everything up by messing with people.

“How about we have that vote right now?” Paula challenged.

Fira’s piercing blue eyes narrowed. “Fine,” they gestured around the room, “we’ll hold a vote. All who think I am unfit to lead by vice of being compromised under demonic corruption, raise your hands.”

Around the group of gathered mercenaries, several hands shot up, and a few more followed timidly. The man Salvador had been talking to shifted his arm, took a long look at me, and kept his hand down. Did Salvador save me? Again?

My nervousness was showing—it had to be. Firalex counted the hands. Tren and Drin were not among them, and a few more went down as she started counting. In all, just under half of the room voted “aye.” Around Salvador was nearly a dead zone for raised hands.

Fira challenged Paula with another glare, their fiery hair gaining a bit of a sheen of dampness from magic held ready. This time, the armored woman backed down, though not without grumbling.

“If that’s concluded,” Fira started again after coughing loudly, “we can move on to the necessary business. Zarenna, if you would step forward?”

I did so, and Fira motioned for me to stop about eight paces from them (ten for someone of more normal stature). The mercenaries gave me a wide berth. Salvador gave me a serious nod.

“Show us your true form,” Fira ordered.

“Yes ser,” I answered, dropping my human transformation.

There were gasps around me, and I felt eyes all over my body. Suddenly, my knees felt weak and the tip of my tail shook. All the insecurity I’d thought dealt with started to rush back. I didn’t dare look at Salvador—I couldn’t bear to think what I might find, even as I knew it to be irrational. I just don’t want to put him at risk. What a crap justification.

Abby would tell me to think about everyone being in their underwear. I tried, but I couldn’t hold the image. I wanted Seyari’s hand to hold. Badly.

“Now that she’s exposed, she’s afraid of us!” Paula said triumphantly.

My anger flared. How dare you, you insolent little—

I reined it in just in time, but the temperature around me had noticeably increased. When I exhaled, a jet of fire left my lips. I reached up and felt, though the remains of my shirt, the gem on my symbol. They’re just shocked at seeing a demon in the flesh. This is normal. They’re not trying to demean me—most of them aren’t anyway. I’m not an imposter. I’m me, Zarenna: Sovereign of Wrath, sometimes human, and always a woman.

I took another deep breath and stood up straighter. Fira was looking at me with an expression I couldn’t hope to place. Something between pity and fear that ended up looking almost cross-eyed. I felt a laugh bubble up despite my continued anxiety and was only able to contain it to a giggle.

“S-sorry,” I mumbled.

“Aren’t demons supposed to be dangerous?” Paula taunted.

“Sorry I’m not ‘dangerous’ all the time!” I shot back before I could stop myself. “Do you think this is easy? Do you think I’m having fun? Do you know what it’s like to have to hide what you are from everyone except a trusted few and put on a face that you don’t want to wear all the time every. Single. Day? Huh—do you!?” My voice was almost a shout at the end. My anger was burning bright, and I didn’t want to force it back down to fester. “Sor—ry I’m not ripping your limbs off, I guess.” I glared at her and breathed heavily, small flames escaping from each breath.

Paula looked at me and blinked slowly. I looked around the room. Everyone was staring at me, Salvador with sympathy and the rest in varying shades of confusion.

“Sorry, Fira,” I apologized, looking sheepishly at the group leader. “I, uh, have some anxieties I still need to work out.” I took yet another deep breath.

“That’s… quite alright, Zarenna,” Fira responded slowly. “Now, if I could bring us back on topic: Zarenna wants us not to turn her in to the Church and wants to help solve what happened here with Erik. Personally, I think that, as a demon, she would be of immense help in determining the nature of—”

“You want us to trust her just like that? She’s a demon too! How do we know she’s not—”

“Paula!” Firalex shouted. “One more word out of you and you won’t be Company anymore. Am I understood?” Steam poured off her in waves.

Paula’s anger exploded, bright enough that I had a hard time imaging what it would be like not to feel it. Before she could speak, I acted, pulling from her anger and ignoring how wonderfully filling the emotion was.

As her fury faded, Paula’s bravado and posture deflated into a slouch. Wordlessly, she nodded and then stepped back into the rest of the crowd. Her eyes met mine; I kept my expression neutral and looked away.

Fira seemed surprised Paula backed down, but their posture relaxed, steam dispersing. With a cough, they resumed talking. “I understand that trusting a demon is an outlandish prospect, but I propose that we do so for the time being.” They held up a hand to stall the budding protests. “Hear me out on this. We lack the firepower to kill her, as demonstrated earlier. I also believe she is easily capable of killing all of us, and has chosen not only not to do so, but not to do so in the face of violence. Lastly, Erik is in one piece, the demonic influence on him cannot be her doing, and she killed the demon that did it without harming the young man.”

“So what do you propose we do after we finish the contract?” Drin asked.

“I don’t know yet,” Fira replied tiredly. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. I’ll interview her tonight, and hopefully get the truth out of her. Are there any last questions before we adjourn?”

I looked at Salvador. He flashed me a tired, but happy smile. I smiled softly back. Thanks.

After a moment, Paula raised her hand. I’d kept a steady pull on her anger to keep it from rising back again—hers and a couple others. She had to have noticed something. I bit my lip and looked at the dirt floor.

“You may speak,” Fira said.

“That demon did something to me. Just now.” Paula spoke calmly—much different from before. “How do you know she’s not doing something to all of us?”

Fira noticed Paula’s change in demeanor. “Well, Zarenna? Care to explain?”

I exhaled slowly. Now’s not the time to lie, me. “I drained her anger. She was about to do something instead of backing down, and I didn’t think anyone—her included—would want that. All I did was make her less angry—nothing else. I can’t do anything else anyway.”

Several people started muttering at this revelation. Salvador started to talk softly again with those around him.

“Paula?” Fira asked.

“It’s…” Paula frowned and paused for a long time. I let some of her anger build back up, but not much. “True, ser. It’s true. I was about to do something stupid, and suddenly I wasn’t so angry anymore. I thought about what it was and stood down, ser.”

Fira raised an eyebrow but didn’t push the issue. “I’m glad you made the right decision, Paula.”

“Yes, ser,” Paula said softly. “I still don’t think we should trust her. I say we let the Church deal with her.”

“Will you go against my orders?”

“Depends, I think.”

“On what?”

“Depends on whether you want us to consort with demons and keep it a secret or not. I don’t—I don’t think I can do that, ser.”

Murmurs of agreement rippled around those assembled. I felt my heart tighten for a moment. On the edge of panic, I realized something: I didn’t either.

Quickly, I raised my hand, then blurted out anyway. “Ser, if I may!”

Fira nodded at me to continue.

“I agree with Paula.” My pride as a Sovereign would have stung if I hadn’t already made peace with myself for agreeing with someone so opposed to my nature. “I don’t want to ask that of any of you. It isn’t fair.”

“So what do you propose, then?” Fira’s bright blue eyes had a dangerous twinkle in them.

“I want…” I paused to take a deep breath. “I don’t want to hide anymore. I’m fine if you tell the Church of Dhias. All the times I’ve killed it’s been in self-defense, and as a last resort, or in defense of someone I care deeply about. I’m no more a danger to society than a competent mage or an armed soldier with training and a weapon.

“If you’d have me, I’d still like to join the Company, even. I’ll give you the whole truth tonight, Fira, and you can decide. I’ll make due with either answer.” I finished, and gazed around the room as calmly as I could, my mind racing but my heart unnervingly calm. I met the gaze of everyone I could. Some shied away, others met it defiantly.

“Fascinating,” Fira said eagerly. “Well, you heard her folks! No need to worry about keeping a demonic secret, and if we need to, we can be rid of her on the morrow. Now, if everyone wants to kindly get the hell out of here, I have an interview to do before the sun comes up.”

After a bit more grumbling, the meeting adjourned. The others left except for myself and Fira. I made sure to thank Salvador on his way out. He just smiled and nodded. I got the distinct and bizarre feeling that he was proud of me.