Chapter 128: Friends & Family

Not ten steps into running out of the graveyard, I stopped suddenly. “There’s one more grave I need to see.”

Seyari pulled up beside me and took my hand, her expression conflicted.

“Abby?” Joisse asked, standing close.

I nodded. “Yeah. Tania can wait a few more minutes. We’re looking for Abigail Hunter.”

Finding her didn’t take long; her grave was next to her parents and her nan. Her whole family was there: all in a line, all dead in the ground. I took the flowers I was still holding and placed them on the snow in front of the headstone.

I read Abby’s birthday—exactly two months and a day apart from mine. When I got to her cause of death, I stopped.

“Murdered by blade on the night of the Great Linthel Fire.”

I was listed as simply having been lost in the fire. I checked the headstones next to Abby. Her parents were the same death as mine, but her nan was also listed as murdered.

Seyari scooted closer to me and put her head against the side of my shoulder. “We know that Finley was caught—perhaps Abby’s death and the others he killed helped take him down.”

“Maybe,” I nodded. “One last victory for her.” I paused and took a deep breath. “Thanks, Abby. Thank you for everything, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry everything turned out the way it did for you.”

Seyari squeezed my hand. I looked down at her with blurred vision, and then over at Joisse who wore a hard expression.

“Really, though, I owe you,” I continued, staring down at the cold rock and dirt above my best friend’s bones. “You gave me this second chance, and you made damn sure I wouldn’t waste it stuck on the past. But… but letting go isn’t that easy, you know?!” My voice pitched up at the end, almost cracking.

Only wind responded, even though I half expected to hear Abby’s voice saying “Duh, dingus!” or something similar. Despite a strong protest from my frown, my lips quirked into a half-smile.

“Like you asked, I didn’t forget. I’ll get some flowers tonight, and I’ll stop by again before I leave the city. I’d take longer, and introduce you to Seyari and Joisse, but I think, in a way…” I placed a hand over my symbol and took a deep breath. “In a way, I think you already know them.”

I turned away and looked up, out and over the city, then back again to the southern mountains and their forested slopes. “Let’s go now, for real. Tania probably isn’t waiting there right now, but she’ll have a clue—someone I can contact or some lead I can chase.”

“What about Taava and Nelys?” Joisse asked.

I glanced down at the sprawl of Linthel, knowing the Gelles Company building was on the wrong side of town. “They… we should go get them.”

I remembered their near-death experience only days prior. I remembered the heat of my wings and of Seyari’s magic as we both pushed ourselves to the brink, only barely saving everyone. “We’re not going to leave anyone behind.”

***

Unfortunately, the “short” detour became a lot less short the moment I walked into the company headquarters.

Like back in Lockmoth, the Gelles Company in Linthel had a barracks and training field in addition to an administrative office. They also had a leader, their own Rodrik, who really wanted to see me.

I went up to see him while I left Seyari and Joisse to explain things to Taava and Nelys. Joisse was worried about losing control of her anger, but I could still feel through our connection. If she needed power, I could give it. Otherwise, Seyari knew what to do.

Arden was the leader’s name, and like Rodrik, he had a fancy office with an intimidating door. I’ll admit to assuming the “fancy” part.

Bureaucracy: the true enemy of a demon trying to have a semi-normal status in a human society. A bunch of big fish in small ponds each thinking they knew more than each other.

Perspective? Lilly had given me perspective. The incidents with Malich, Mordwell, and in Lockmoth had given me perspective. I had things to do that were more important than this man’s career, and while I wasn’t about to tell him that, I was also very annoyed I’d been forced to wait the better part of an hour to say to someone’s face what someone else they should have respected and trusted had already told them.

In short, I was mad. Not wrath demon mad, but frustrated, tired, and a little emotionally vulnerable having just returned from visiting not just the graves of my friends and family, but my own damn grave, too.

I knocked, maybe a little harder than necessary. “Zarenna Miller reporting, sir.”

“Enter,” a deep voice said tersely.

I obliged, slipping inside and closing the door behind me. I made sure to have my uniform ready in case I needed to show exactly what “Greater Demon” meant in my file.

The room inside was neatly kept and full of large, heavy furniture made with dark wood. Partial shutters let in some evening light and cast a light/dark pattern across both the big desk and the man sitting behind it in a high-backed chair.

I’m really tired of desks and offices.

Arden was a large man—not so large as Rodrik—who looked to have kept most of his muscle, and his hair, despite his age. His gray mustache twitched when I straightened up from ducking through the door.

“Miss Miller, have a seat,” Arden gestured.

“Is it alright if I stand? I have someone I need to meet tonight.” I tried to keep my voice polite.

Arden narrowed his eyes. “Sit.”

I sat. No use arguing and making this whole process longer. I still needed the Gelles Company, and by and large they’d treated me right. Firalex had treated me right, to be honest.

“I don’t appreciate jokes in bad taste, Miss Miller,” Arden said seriously. “I cannot fathom how you managed to create a fraudulent file, nor how it has—”

I ended my human transformation, cutting Arden off. “I didn’t lie. Word was sent ahead for a reason. My record is spotless. Can I go now?”

Arden stared at me, shocked at first, then seeming to run through a long list of emotions. I held my gaze against his, unblinking.

“If you ask me to complete any sort of test to ‘prove I’m not evil’…” I made air quotes with all four of my hands. “I’m going to show you I’m not evil by injuring no one when I make a new door through your wall and out of here.”

Eventually, Arden blinked and sighed. “I’ll be damned.”

I quirked an eyebrow. “You’ll be damned? Do you have any idea what kind of hoops I have to jump through? How annoying every little detail is unless I stay looking like a human and keep my head down?”

Arden closed his eyes and leaned forward on one hand, elbow planted against the desk. “No, I suppose I don’t.”

“Then can I go? I can give you a few additional details about the incident Nelys and Taava already reported if you’d like, but I really do have somewhere to be.” I jerked a thumb back toward the office door.

“You can go—I need time to reevaluate the details your two friends gave me anyway.”

I stood up to leave.

“If… if you don’t mind me asking: why the Gelles Company? Why try for this sort of thing?”

I turned back, one hand on the door even as my claws retracted and my skin shifted back to a human tone. “Because, Arden, I want the life I never had a chance to have when I was human. Or something similar, at least. Thanks for not pushing me.”

Arden didn’t respond, and I closed the door behind me without so much as a glance back at the Linthel branch head of the Gelles Company. No one stopped me on my way out, and I’d just buttoned my extra set of sleeves back into place by the time I reached the lobby.

My friends were all standing around chatting, although Joisse looked visibly nervous. I need to get her out on her own more—as soon as she’s stable.

“How’d things go?” Seyari asked.

“Fine,” I responded in a level tone. “I think I got my point across.”

“Any scorch marks left up there?” Taava sprung up on the balls of her feet. “Any soiled trousers?”

“No. A simple conversation and a quick fix to the misunderstanding. Although, I am getting very frustrated at repeating the same mantra over and over again. As soon as I can, I want to set things up so I don’t have to hide here in Linthel. For now, let’s just go. I want to get back into the city and find an inn before dark.”

“Why not find an inn first?” Joisse asked.

“Because we might not be staying in one tonight, I think,” Nelys responded quietly.

I nodded. “Exactly.”

We left quickly, and walked down the main street across town, through side streets, past the walls, and up into the hills beyond the city. Out here, little had changed.

As if by pure luck, I spotted the farm where Abby and I had first seen Linthel burning on that fated night. The field lay blanketed in snow, the nearby barn’s roof sagging a little more with age. A new fence had been put up recently, in the same spot as the old.

The others caught me looking.

“Hey Renna?” Nelys asked. “Is everything okay? Did you get enough time earlier?”

“I did, I think.” I took a deep breath. “How much did you tell them, Sey?”

“As much as I could in a public space with eyes and ears everywhere.”

“Right.” I sighed. “I’ll be okay, Nelys. Really. We’re just tracing back where I went on my last night alive. Funny how I thought meeting Tania out this way would be a good idea.”

Sey gave me a quick hug from one side. “You had to make a fast choice, Renna.”

I shook my head. “If I had all the time in the world, I’d make the same choice.”

“Oh,” Sey said with unusual quietness. “This may not be a good time, but have you really…?”

I stiffened. “I have, Sey. Just not… all the way. All the other ways. Abby and I were a lot more than our first kiss.”

“Renna, I…”

“Abby told me, remember? How could I not move on?” I shouted, surprising myself. I choked back a sob. “I don’t… please, Sey. Please don’t do this; don’t make me—”

Seyari reached a hand out and up toward my face, gently. I paused, watching her pale fingers. For a moment, we hung like that, frozen. Then she started moving her hand again and I let it rest against my cheek.

“I’m sorry, Zarenna. I… I shouldn’t have doubted you. It’s just… I don’t want what we have to end, but I also don’t want there to be something other about our relationship.”

I swallowed, then placed my own hand against hers. “I love you Sey. Totally and completely. Abby and I ended our relationship before she gave her soul for me. While it’s still hard to accept she’s gone, as I stand here right now, I’m mourning her as a childhood friend and as the person who helped me find me. As the person who gave me my name, Seyari. That’s who I’m mourning.”

Seyari winced as if she’d been struck. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I guess I don’t have an excuse—I’m just—”

“You’re just worried.” I pulled her into a hug and she went from stiff to limp. “You’re worried I’ll never be as close to you as you need. Well, I hope that’s wrong. I am going to be closer to you than anyone else—as close as I possibly can be. I’m not going to leave you, Sey. And I’m not going to put you second in my heart. But I’m also not going to forget my best friend, Abigail Hunter. Can you accept that?”

Seyari hiccupped, then pulled tighter against me, her head buried between my breasts. “I don’t know! I want to, but I’m not sure I can. I thought I could, but I’m just so worried we won’t be right for each other.”

She has no one else, I realized. I thought back to the Lady of Liseu: crewmates, acquaintances, but no true friends. Likewise, she had no close relationship with Salvador, or any living family to turn to.

“I’m not going anywhere, Sey. And I’m not going to give you anything less than my everything. But more than that, you’re not alone. You have Nelys, Taava, Salvador, Joisse, and half a dozen people from Lockmoth whom you can consider as friends. Confidants. And…” I looked at Joisse who was looking nervously at her feet. “Even potentially family.”

“I…” Seyari hiccupped again and looked over at our other three friends.

Joisse and Nelys were both tearing up, but looking at both of us with an expression of absolute sincerity. Taava was rubbing the back of her neck and kicking at the snow, eyes up toward the clouds, but flicking down occasionally.

“We’ll see,” Seyari said sadly. “It’s hard, you know. After all these years.”

“I don’t know,” I said confidently, “But I’m trying my best to learn—we all are.”

“Right!” Nelys chirped. “Like it or not, I’m your friend, Sey, and that’s not gonna change!”

Taava coughed and looked away.

Joisse fidgeted, glancing up with big red eyes. “Uhm, if you’ll have me, S-Seyari, I’ll be your friend, too. You seem nice and, well, if Zarenna approves then I do.”

Seyari smiled a tear-stained smile. “Thank you. I… I still need time though. All of this—I guess if I wanted to be deep like Zarenna, I’d say it’s all hitting me right now how real all of this is.”

I gave Sey a light squeeze. “I’m very real. Your heater wouldn’t lie to you.”

Seyari looked back up at me and smiled. “Sorry, Renna, but I’m too anxious to laugh right now.”

I frowned. “Let’s go get an inn room then, whatever message my sister has can wait another night.”

My fiancée shook her head. “No. Give me a minute and I’ll be good to keep going. Just because I don’t have family doesn’t mean I should stop you from reconnecting with yours.”

“Thanks, Sey.” I let her out of the hug. “And you do have family, even if not by blood.”

For a fleeting moment, a faint smile played across Seyari’s features. The half angel stepped away and gestured to the dark, dense trees in the distance.

A quick glance up showed the forest ahead in deepening shadow. Another newer farm had pushed the tree line back, but I could see where we needed to go.

I resumed walking, and the others fell in line behind me. Honestly, it felt awkward to so clearly be the leader of our little band. “Onward, then,” I said, mostly to myself.