Chapter 123: Demon Over Wrath

“So I’m not going to get in trouble for killing Vivian?” I asked Guard Captain Kerra.

She nodded tiredly. “You’re not. At least not if I have a say in it. There’s significant evidence Vivian killed a lot of people under questionable circumstances. It’s your word versus hers, and even though you’re, well, a demon, your reputation is better.”

I almost stood up out of my chair and shouted for joy. My reputation as a demon was better than some human murderer! When my thoughts put it like that though, I calmed down fast. Baby steps, I guess.

“Gelles Company?”

Kerra nodded. “And the fact there’s someone on your side high up in the Church. Honestly, the only reason I’m as together as I am right now with you sitting there in all your frankly terrifying glory is because everyone else has just been so damn calm.” She pounded her desk to end the statement, then coughed a swift apology.

I smiled, careful not to show teeth. “Yeah. I get that a lot. I guess we can move on to what happened last night then?”

“We can, but first: who’s your new friend?” Guard Captain Kerra asked in a tone that suggested she had a good idea who Joisse was already. “And why are her eyes red? Demon-blooded?”

From the bags under Kerra’s eyes, I seriously doubted she’d slept, but she’d snapped at me when I asked about it earlier.

“This is Joisse,” I gestured to the wrath demon in her human transformation.

Joisse nodded meekly and mumbled an agreement. I imagined she felt bad that I’d sat her in the only other chair in the captain’s office, leaving Seyari, Taava, and Nelys to stand.

“Joisse?” Kerra asked sharply, staring the transformed demon down. “That name seems familiar…”

“Uhm,” Joisse bit her lip. “Well, Miss Guard Captain, it’s because…” she trailed off.

I kept a close watch on Joisse’s wrath. Her fury seemed almost alive at times, fluctuating and roiling in a way where I didn’t know sometimes whether she was influencing it, or it was the other way around. Ever since we’d gotten breakfast with her this morning and helped her into one of Taava’s least eye-catching outfits, she’d taken on a demure persona.

In short, she seemed detached.

I guess you do get less angry if you withdraw into yourself, but that can’t be healthy.

And so, when Joisse looked to me for an out, I just crossed my top pair of arms, tapped a finger on my knee, and waited. An undisguised demon (two, really) in her office bothered Kerra, but she’d get used to it.

Joisse looked between myself and Kerra, hoping for an out she wouldn’t get. Eventually she hung her head and sighed. “It’s because I’m the demon.”

Kerra’s eyes narrowed, darting between me and Joisse. She leaned forward across her desk, moving up and out of her chair. “The demon?”

“You told me to bring her,” I answered evenly.

I knew Kerra knew what Joisse meant. Joisse probably knew that too, if the way I had to put a lid on her anger was any indication.

Joisse pursed her lips and nodded, sinking down into the chair. “I-I just wanted the killing to stop, the war to be over and—”

“And you killed more people?” Kerra asked dangerously. She stood up and marched around her desk to stand over Joisse’s human form—suddenly far larger than the demon. “You killed innocents, Joisse. Do you have any idea the hurt you’ve caused? And not just for the innocents either—there’s a process for these things.”

Not like that process was really working, I thought, but didn’t say.

Joisse’s anger threatened to overflow, even as she sank deeper into her chair until she was looking almost straight up at the furious guard captain. I could tell I wasn’t the only one fighting her fury, either. The wide-eyed look of fear on Joisse’s face wasn’t from Kerra.

It was from what she knew would happen if she just let go.

“I…” Joisse stammered.

“You what?” Kerra cut in.

I glanced at the others. Seyari wore a hard expression aimed at me, Taava the same aimed at Joisse, and Nelys an anxious, nervous look like they wanted to jump in and broker peace but didn’t dare risk escalation.

I was about to interrupt when Joisse spoke up. Softly, shakily; each word was forced out with great effort.

“I’m sorry. I-I lost control, but I get that’s no good as an excuse. I want to make up for the hurt I caused—do more good than bad… make something of this almost-life that I have.”

Kerra narrowed her eyes and leaned forward over the wrath demon. “We should see you hang, Joisse. You know that.”

Joisse nodded.

“She wasn’t fully herself,” I cut in, finally breaking my silence.

Kerra jumped at my voice. “You heard her—that’s no excuse.”

I shook my head. “Yes and no. Nothing’s going to bring back the lives she ended—innocent or not. But I believe Joisse didn’t want to kill them. I believe the other fractured pieces of her amalgam soul forced aside her reason, and forced her claws.”

“What are you talking about, demon?” The guard captain took a step toward me, then thought better of it and leaned against the front of her desk instead.

“Zarenna,” Seyari corrected before I could.

Guard Captain Kerra sighed. “Zarenna. Sorry—you’re not the one guilty of murder here. Well, you are, but self-defense and…”

I waved a hand casually, resting my lower pair of arms on my knees and my chin on my knuckles. “Apology accepted. And I’m talking about the way demonic souls are formed.”

“Do you have firsthand experience?” Kerra’s tone pitched somewhere between inquisitive and accusatory. I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

“Yes,” I nodded. “And I’ve had an expert explain things to me: Isidore Travend, if you’ve heard of the former professor at Ardath University.”

Kerra shook her head.

I shrugged and continued, sparing a look at poor Joisse who was still pale, although sliding back up into a proper sitting position at a rate of about a hairsbreadth per breath. “I’m fortunate enough that I’m essentially the same as I was prior to my death, with a few extra pieces and memories thrown in—mostly from people I was close to who died around the same time I did.

“I can go into the details later if you’d like, but a greater demon’s soul—typically—has a single sort of core formed out of a large chunk of a mortal soul. A whole bunch of other, smaller fragments—that are little more than a few memories and lingering desires—get fused to it, and eventually merge into a single soul. These fragments can throw out a whole bunch of mixed emotions and desires, which can be difficult or impossible to control. And even then, that’s assuming the primary soul has more to it than, say, all-consuming wrath.”

Kerra looked at Joisse again, who turned her head to avoid the guard captain’s gaze.

“Oookay,” Kerra said slowly. “So how do you fix it?”

I shrugged. “Time—although not always—is one way. And I don’t entirely know that it’s “fixing” it so much as it’s getting all the pieces in harmony, but every demon’s different.” Kerra glared at me, so I hurried my explanation along. “In Joisse’s case, she’s made a contract with a much stronger demon of the same general type.” I pointed to myself. “And through our contract, she’ll be influenced by me in terms of both the powers she’ll have access to, like human transformation, and also how her wrath—and control over it—manifests itself. There’s a lot more nuances, but I get the feeling I’m already going into far too much detail.”

Kerra sighed. “Yes, you are. But I think I get it. Joisse was insane and you’re helping her to be more sane, right?”

I nodded enthusiastically. “Yep! That’s pretty much it!”

“And does that mean you’ll be taking her into your care?”

I glanced at Joisse, then Seyari. Seyari shrugged, but Joisse nodded firmly.

“It does. I can help Joisse learn to better control her own wrath, which I think at this point is necessary.”

A big surge of fury from Joisse took most of my concentration—and hers—to suppress. This is going to be a long, serious commitment. Thankfully, Kerra let us have our moment.

Eventually, however, she cleared her throat and resumed, looking between the two demons in the room. “Speaking of contracts, I’d really like to know what you mean by ‘more powerful demon.’”

“I meant what I said. A stronger demon,” I shrugged.

“Stronger among greater demons? How much of a difference is there?”

“Orders of magnitude,” I responded, “Though in our case it’s probably not that much yet.”

“Yet?”

Oops. In for a copper… “Well, I’m the Sovereign of Wrath, so I’m really only going to get stronger. At least that’s what I’ve been told, and what I’ve experienced.”

“The what of wrath?”

“Zarenna…” Seyari warned.

“Oh come on, it’s basically an open secret!” I groused, turning around in my seat to look at her. My tail twitched nervously, and I had to grab it to still the shakes.

“And that’s ‘cause ya can’t keep your trap shut!” Taava chipped in.

Nelys stayed quiet, but they did nod in agreement. Not you too…

I rotated back around and sank into the chair, almost as low as Joisse.

Kerra’s expression had grown an amused half-smile in the moments I’d spent looking away.

“Sovereign of Wrath,” I repeated. “The sovereign of wrath demons.”

Kerra’s smile vanished and her face lost some color. “So…”

“The strongest wrath demon,” I answered. “Maybe, anyway. It’s a long story I’m not going to tell.”

“…And you’re working as a mercenary?”

I nodded. “Yep. Good way to have backing, and I get to help people, some of whom have problems that need to be solved by violence. Not that I like violence, but I’m unfortunately good at it.”

Kerra stared at me, then Joisse. “Why?”

“I want a nice house in the countryside—close enough to a city to walk. I think I’d like pastel blue for the kitchen and pink for the bedroom. A garden out back, with enough space to get lost in, and a warm hearth for the winter in the main room. River rock, probably—I like how smooth it looks.

“Oh, and I’d like to try my hand out at blacksmithing again—I was an apprentice once you know. A hobby could be good for me.”

Kerra’s jaw flopped open. “Huh?”

Next to me Joisse perked up, sitting the rest of the way up and looking at me in surprise.

I smiled at Joisse, not showing teeth, and then at Kerra. “Besides wanting revenge on my murderer—and to be honest, who wouldn’t—I just want a nice, normal life. I won’t get it probably, but I’ll take what I can. And working as a mercenary gets me there, because I get to have cordial conversations like this in nice closed offices instead of shouting matches on a muddy battlefield. Besides, I control wrath, not the other way around.”

Kerra sighed, groaned, and flopped back don on her desk, kicking her legs idly. “Why couldn’t it be simple!”

“Would you rather I burned this city down?” I asked with what was hopefully enough sarcasm.

“No, of course not.”

“Would you rather Joisse dies instead of maybe getting a chance to redeem herself?”

That question took Kerra longer. “Fuck… I guess not. Fine. You win—I’ll let the murderous demon go into your care, Zarenna. But you’d better see that she doesn’t go on another murder spree.”

“If she does,” I replied, meeting Joisse’s eyes, “I think she’d want me to kill her.”

Joisse nodded rapidly. “Yes! I don’t want to be a monster. Or, uhm, well, more of a monster I guess—”

“You’re only a monster if you act like one!” Nelys blurted, speaking for the first time since we’d entered the guard captain’s office. All eyes turned to them. “And I don’t think you’re a monster, Joisse!”

Joisse’s red eyes went wide. And then they filled with tears.

Kerra let us stay in the office a little while longer to take care of all the paperwork, and to let Joisse have her moment. When we left, it was late afternoon, the sun dipping behind the horizon even as thick pale clouds drew in. More snow looked to be on the way, just in time for us to hit the road again. This time, our journey would end in Linthel.

Home.

***

We left the next morning in the snow, renting a wagon and two horses for the journey. This time, there was no contract. No other mission. No distractions. Just the five of us on a well-traveled road, even if there was little travel this time of year.

So why do I feel so anxious?

Vivian had deserved to die, but a part of me really wished I could have said or done something to help her turn things around. She’d been hurt, and her desire for revenge had eaten away at her. Had there been anything left? It was no use to wonder: between her and my friends I’d made the right choice, that much was clear. Letting her go would’ve gone against everything I held dear.

I guess I wondered if she’d become the primary shard for a greater demon. If she did, would she distinguish her violence as Joisse did? Would she still have her combat skills? How dangerous could she be for Gedon and the surrounding region if that came to pass?

As the Sovereign of Wrath, it would be my responsibility to take care of her in that situation. Probably by killing her… again. But even that was clear—a black-and-white morality where the only hard part was swallowing my feelings to do what I knew was right.

I couldn’t figure out a real reason for this gnawing feeling of anxiety by the time the sun showed its vague location through the snow clouds, high in the sky. I had a short list, but all things pointed to Linthel.

The city I’d grown up in.

The city I died in.

The city that had survived a fire, a war, and the elevation of its lord to a king.

The city where I had no clue what was in store for me. What we’d even do to pass the months until the summer solstice when I would meet my sister.

Perhaps I’m just anxious because I wonder if I’ll even recognize my home city. Or if it’ll recognize me.

I turned to Seyari driving and checked the back of the wagon for answers. Joisse and Nelys were playing a card game with Taava. The “bard” spent the time between her turns plucking strings on her lute and cards from Joisse’s deck both. The poor girl wasn’t even aware enough of the cheating for her anger to spiral out of control.

I had to pick targets to ask. Joisse had, for all intents and purposes, died in the war and had come from a small town near the border. Nelys had lived a continent away. So, I had two very different options

“Hey Seyari—or Taava. What’s happened in Linthel since I died nine years ago?”

Taava giggled. “That’s a weird question, boss. Just outta nowhere like that.”

Seyari glared at the kazzel.

“Hey!” Taava protested. “What’d I do?”

“I… did find Taava’s comment funny, Sey,” I added.

Seyari sighed. “Whatever. I was in Liseu during the war, so everything I got was secondhand. Though I can say the general Turquioser sentiment was ‘good riddance to the empire.’ I know King Carvalon was lauded as a brilliant tactician whose surprise tactics led to a lot of early Edathan victories and ensured the war wouldn’t end swiftly in favor of Ordia.”

“Carvalon?” I snorted. “Brilliant? When I lived in Linthel, everyone knew ‘Lord’ Carvalon as an empty-headed fop whose only positive trait was his looks.”

“That’s not true!” Joisse jumped into the conversation, slamming her hand of cards down for Taava to pick through. I had to fight her anger, although I made sure to let at least some through. “King Carvalon himself spoke to my regiment once, after I joined up. His tactics won us the battle—a-and I didn’t die then because of it. If we’d stayed in the valley, then…” she trailed off.

I furrowed my brows and frowned. I tapped at a horn that wasn’t there and tried to cross arms I didn’t have before settling on just twitching my tai—never mind. “I… find that hard to believe. What if someone or something was puppeting him behind the scenes? What if they still are?”

“Maybe!” Taava shook her head and finished stacking her deck with cards from the distracted Joisse’s hand. “I’ve never really been keen on the details, but I’ve heard from travelin’ around that Carvalon was playin’ everybody for fools. Coulda been a demon or somethin’ pullin’ the strings, I guess, but I’m not sure.”

I sighed. “Great. Just great. So Carvalon is either a not-so-secret genius, or someone’s pulling his strings. I don’t like it.”

“I wonder if it’s Envy,” Seyari pondered. “Could that make sense?”

“Yeah, it could.”

Well shit.

“Fuck,” Seyari leaned back in her seat, gazing up at the thick gray-white clouds visible through the trees. “We’ll just have to assume Avarice or Envy are involved then, won’t we.”

“I think we should try to find out more when we get to Linthel,” Nelys added, trying to make head or tail of Taava’s impossible last play. “None of us were there in the city, right? It’s suspicious, but Joisse has the only firsthand account and she says he’s smart on his own.”

“Yeah…” I nodded slowly. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. But I’m still going to be paranoid about it.”

Nelys frowned. “Sorry, Renna.”

Now it was my turn to look up at the clouds. “Thanks, Nelys.”

Great. Now I’m even more anxious.