(Rewritten) Ch. 16 – Tinea Act VI; Name The Nameless

"Well, shit."

– Everybody, ever

***

I looked at the final design of who I would become, and tried to find a name that fit. I couldn't quite think of anything, but I'd kind of expected that. It wasn't something I was good at. Random names? Beautiful names? No problem. Names that also had a connection, a meaning? Urgh.

Problem was, I'd never fantasized…realistically enough about being a girl to, uh, bother coming up with a name. It was always thoughts and worries about not being a girl, rather than what it'd be like to be a girl. Less imagination, and more…self-castigation. Good little boy Aden, exactly as twisted and focused on what a bad person he is, as my so-called parent needed me to be.

The way I was buzzing with exhausted, jittery energy didn't help either.

I kept scribbling names in a text window, with a strange sort of mounting anger, until Tynea interrupted me.

Are you thinking about renaming yourself?

I stopped then.

Closed my eyes, and forced myself to relax.

"Hey, Tynea, yes. And, uh, I might need some help with this."

I would love to. What are you imagining? What would matter to you, about the name?

"Well. I'm…finding I lack that imagination. I want it to sound beautiful. I also want it to be connected to my new self. I want it to have some sort of actual meaning, a little more than nothing. But it's also not that important? I just don't want it to feel empty, but I don't have any specific idea of what I want it to embody either.

"I think…I need this name to be exactly as haphazard as this whole situation. I'm sitting here, only hours ago convinced that I needed to replace my desire to be a girl with the realization that it's better to be happy with who I actually am, yet now I'm designing my future self, who I'll be the next time I wake up. That's…janky. That's what my name should be, something that has that sort of meaning, something without a history."

And, what will the name do for you? Are you going to replace your current name, legally? Or is it more like a stage name?

"A stage name? Mmm…no," I decided…decisively. Heh. "No, this'll be like a new first name. An additional one. I don't want to actually get rid of 'Aden.' I am my past after all. But at the same time, I'll also be someone new. Someone who stood at a crossroads and chose to take a left, I guess. So, no, my new name won't replace my old. It'll just be another official identity. Two ways to refer to myself where the legal system is concerned. They'll both be me, but Aden will be the old me, who's my foundation and has earned his peace. And respect, for not dying too early. I think?"

That's quite something, Aden. I think that's a good attitude to go forward with. One more thing. As you probably know, most Vanguard take a new name.

"Oh yeah, it's the name they get famous with, right? Like Deus Ex, or Neon Girl Happy-Chan."

Indeed. People call these monikers samurai names. These are traditionally given to you by another samurai, usually in good faith, but they're not officially official. You could reject any, or choose your own, though that's rare. Is that what you want your new name to be?

"No, actually. I really want this name to simply be another first name. Not any sort of stage name."

Understood. May I make a suggestion?

"Oh, yes please! Do!"

How about Tinea?

The name appeared in front of me. I noticed it didn't have Tynea's y in there, just a normal i.

"Oh? What does it mean?"

Well, your wings are styled after an alien genus of an insect quite similar to your moths, and there is one on Earth called Tinea of the fungus moth family Tineidae. They're in fact the only genus to survive the ecological changes across the planet. They didn't start out as the prettiest or largest moths, yet they adapted to the modern world in creatively symbiotic ways.

Your wings are, as perhaps their name hints at, more comparable to the extinct saturniid moths, especially the Marbled emperor moth—A picture of a beautiful and large fuzzy moth appeared before me, white wings with brown, orange, and black bars and two eye spots. I could see the resemblance, more in shape than color.—but I chose the name Tinea, because it happens to be so similar to mine, and because that genus has proven itself so resourceful. I thought you might appreciate that.

I chuckled. "Tinea, huh? It's a little random, it's got a connection to you, who suddenly just appeared in my life, and it sounds pretty. Yeah, I like it. Why not? It fits. Thank you," I said.

You're welcome.

"Say, your own name. It's awfully obvious how…fitting it is to my new circumstances. Did you somehow predict that I'd arrive here?"

No, truly not. It seems too unlikely to be a coincidence, but that is exactly what it is. I admit, the likelihood is so infinitesimally small that even I have trouble properly calculating it. But indeed, my name was randomly generated.

"Huh. Isn't that something… Well. I don't think I'll ever not find it remarkable. That's as fucking random and janky as my entire situation, today."

It is something to be appreciated. Aden, when do you want to be called by which name?

"Oh, I'm still all Aden right now. When I wake up, that's when I'll begin to be Tinea."

Then that is the name by which I shall wake you.

A big grin across my face. "I can't wait!"

There is an unfortunate detail we need to sort out. But first, do you also want a different family name?

"No, I'll stick with Rheinschiffer. It's less than special to me, but it does describe where I come from. When I give it up, it'll be because I've found somebody whose name I would like to carry.'

Very well. Shall I list the point prices?

"Is that the unfortunate detail?"

Yes.

To Unlock:

Subtotal Unlocks: 225 pts

To Purchase:

Subtotal Medical Utilities: 350

Subtotal Organics: 9165

Subtotal Therapy and Skills: 1055Total: 10795Remaining points: -1995

As you can see, even if you dipped into your emergency funds, you would not quite match the price.

"Oh."

Well, that was a bucket of cold water over my head and my mood ruined.

"Maybe if I… No. Need those for the wings… Give up all the skill stuff and the skin, and dip into the emergency fund? That could work!"

Aden, I feel compelled to remind you that you are physically and mentally exhausted. That any decisions you make now carry the risk of regret later. Your suggestion there is an especially bad one. If you absolutely wish, I will comply. But, please. Listen first.

"What?" I frowned unhappily.

Any compromise you make for wings, will hamper you. Without the supporting skills or augmentations, your ability to fly may exist, but you would be ineffective and clumsy. Unsafe, even. There aren't two thousand points' worth of augments in this list that you may safely surrender. Except for the wings. They are the one item that you do not need for anything else on the list. Thus, my suggestion would be to earmark those for later. I have saved your designs and you can buy them at any time, once you have the points.

Get used to your new body first. Learn to fight with everything you will have on the ground. If you lost the wings to an injury, you would be stranded on the ground with little experience fighting there. The risk of death in that kind of situation worries me, Aden.

"But…"

Aden. You forgot the safeties.

"Huh?"

When you wrapped up your weapons earlier. You were so tired that you did not remember to engage the safeties after your fight, and then did not think to check them before you began experimenting with your silk by wrapping up hot weapons. You never happened to point the weapons anywhere dangerous, so I didn't step in. But the rules by which I assist you will not stop me from letting you harm someone else, even by accident.

But you never realized you forgot the safeties, did you?

"Oh… Fuck. Okay. You're right." I kneaded my brows and sighed, suddenly deflated. All the jitter was just…gone, replaced entirely by leaden tiredness. "Let's do the wings another time. Two thousand's doable."

Thank you, Aden.

"Nah. Knocked some sense into me. One step after the other. And I'm actually getting some huge benefits here. I shouldn't let the lack of wings distract me from those."

With some effort, I breathed in and let myself just relax. I'd made one mistake, and nearly made another as bad. I got off lightly on both counts.

First thing, I carefully melted a line through the silk package, gingerly checked each weapon and made them safe, then bundled them up again, along with the overall and the helmet.

"I'm gonna need new defensive gear afterwards, aren't I? This stuff isn't gonna fit me anymore."

Yes, though the active defense can be stripped from the helmet. Strap the unit to yourself with a sticky sash, and you'll be fairly safe until you can get something more comprehensive. Your new skin will already be a whole lot tougher than the overall, too. Its price is justified.

"Oh, that's good. I won't really know how that'll feel until I eat an attack, I guess," I said and leaned backwards against the bubble.

Shall I order everything, then?

"I think so? Did we miss anything?"

No, the list is fairly complete for the points you have. Anything more would have to wait.

"Yeah, alright. Let's do it."

Here you go.

Unlocked:

Total cost: 225 ptsRemaining points: 8575

Purchased:

Subtotal Medical Utilities: 350

Subtotal Organics: 7165

Subtotal Therapy and Skills: 1055Total: 8570Remaining points: 5

Shall I help you set yourself up?

"Yeah, thanks. Let's actually talk about that for a second. My body is going to be goo, right? Except for my brain? How is that going to work? And will I feel anything while I'm dreaming? Do I need…anesthesia, or something?"

The nanites will sever and numb all nerves leading from the brainstem down, so there will be no pain even without anesthesia.

Once you're asleep, the nanites will tear down your body. That's a fast process, especially since you're already mostly slush from the waist down. It's usually the bones that require the most time, and while they're already fused back together in many places, the seams are still brittle. Easy to cut.

Your brain will be enveloped in a dedicated sack and fed by the nanite swarms, and the dream implant shall keep you under for the set length of time. I'll manage that for you.

You should have no awareness of the lack of a body during the process. Perhaps there may be some uneasiness, but generally, you should be quite distracted. You may feel flashes of intrusion as implants and augments are connected to your brain, but nothing that will bother you overly much.

Once your body has been…pureed, the virus capsules will be released and guided by the nanites. They will seek out and enter every cell of your body, both in the slush and your brain where necessary. There, they'll target and rewrite the DNA strands that they've been designed to edit. The nanites will then reconstruct your body according to the new DNA, from the material already present. Usually it would be necessary to add more biological matter to the chrysalis, but as you are reducing the volume of your body during your sex change, even with the additions, you'll end up with a surplus. Some of it will be stored for future healing, most of it will have to be expelled the natural way.

Finally, once per day a nutrient capsule and a nanite capsule will be released into the chrysalis. The former to revitalize your cells and brain, the latter to resupply the swarms.

"Okay, seems like you have it in hand. Is there anything left for me to do?"

Two boxes appeared at my feet.

These are the two dispensers, as well as their magazines.

I opened them and found an unevenly formed, fist-sized, roughly rectangular device in each, along with one magazine in one box, and two in the other.

The dispenser with the single magazine is for the nutrients. Please load its magazine at the top.

I picked it up and studied it a little. There were two holes in two abutting sides. A smaller round one that I assumed would spit out the capsules at the front, and a bigger rectangular one at the top. The magazine slotted neatly into it.

A screen lit up at the front, just above the round slot. Settings to determine when how many capsules should be released.

Please have the first one given in four hours, and then one every twenty-three hours.

Safety buffer of one hour? Made sense. I plugged in the numbers and moved on to the second dispenser.

This one had two parallel rectangular slots with no defining difference, and both magazines were accepted. A wider screen lit up, showing split settings for both.

Left are the nanites, please set the same schedule as the food. The viruses on the right should all be released in ten hours.

Oh wow, so I was gonna be all juice in ten hours?

That hit different.

But anything for tits! I would have my tits! Yes!

In went the numbers.

Please affix the devices directly overhead, front down. The capsules are programmed to dissolve a split second after having been discharged, creating a shower of fresh nanites and nutrients to saturate…you.

"Gotcha." I used liberal amounts of sticky silk to glue both devices to the ceiling of my bubble, and made sure they were stuck. No amount of shaking and tugging got them loose.

Ready for the dream learning implant?

"Sure."

Please sit down, lean forward, and close your eyes. It will feel somewhat like when I teleported myself into your head.

Oh great, that had been scary enough I still hadn't forgotten.

I sat, bent over a little, breathed in, and closed my eyes. A short, sharp pain somewhere really deep and low in my brain was followed by a hard bout of vertigo that nearly made me puke. And then it was over.

I groaned. "Yeah, that sucked. Why does it hurt anyway?"

There is a moment during which the blood vessels in your brain are forcefully relocated, which sends the typical pain signals to your brain that you'd read as strong headaches. But a very thin layer of nanites is released immediately from the surface of the implant to deaden those nerves and take care of any complications that may have arisen. Not that there are usually any, or were any for you. The pain signals are used to assess the success of the operation. In other words, if you feel pain, that means it went well. We haven't had anybody who didn't in a very, very, long time.

"Hmmm? I…guess that's a good thing? Well, it's done, anyway. What else?"

I've already downloaded the relevant lessons and the treatment for your fear of height. Now would be a good time to stow your packed gear, as well.

"Alright," I said, and got to it.

The package affixed next to the dispensers, I sat down again.

"Well, I guess this is it? Did I forget anything?"

Not that I know of. Once you are ready, please lie down and attempt to sleep. There are sleeping aids available, if you need them. The implant will begin dropping you towards your first REM phase—that is your first dream—shortly after. Ten days hence, I shall greet Tinea.

And the happiness was back with a big smile on my face. "I'm looking forward to it, Tynea. Hope you don't get bored?"

No, I can keep myself busy. Plenty of my siblings around, after all.

"Oh, you can talk to the other AIs?"

Most certainly. How else would I keep my vast powers of calculation occupied, but with equals?

"Hah, that showed me, huh? Hmm. Yeah, I look forward to meeting some other samurai, too. I'm sure there'll be some fun to be had."

Then let's be done, Aden. Good night.

"Good night, Tynea. And I really, really, appreciate it."

You're welcome. Just keep being you.

"That's the plan. Sort of."

Exhausted as I was, I nodded off pretty easily, even with all the excitement.

Soon I found myself in a weird partially lucid dream, jumping hurdles, tossing javelins and parrying spears, driving a thousand different cars and bikes through a hundred courses, and unraveling the fear of heights in careful exploration.

It was a timeless ride, and it kept going until I heard Tynea's gentle voice once again.

***