Chapter Ninety-Eight: Dealing with Goddesses

Edit:

I was very sleep deprived when I wrote the latter half of this chapter and when I was posting it. Numerous line spacing corrections have been made, as well as fixing a number of typos and rewording some things in the last section to sound better and line up more with what I'm trying to say. Also changed the chapter name to something much more fitting.

Rhallani paced back and forth. She’d been pacing since everyone had returned to the manor, chewing on her nail until there was hardly any nail left to chew on. Her gaze kept flicking towards the book on the library’s table. Her table, if she was being honest. She’d been reading it when they came home with Noelle’s unconscious form.

She’d run through it dozens of times by now and there was only one thing to do. She just had to get up the courage to do it. After what the others had told her about everything that had gone down with that woman Lilith, she knew they needed answers.

“Rhallani?”

She turned towards the uncertain voice, surprised to see Allie standing with her arms wrapped tightly around her torso. “Got a minute?”

Rhallani turned towards her, all thoughts of nail biting and pacing nervously gone. “Sure.”

Allie sighed. “Zaren needs you.”

“Right now?” Rhallani asked, already heading towards the door.

“Yeah.” Then she frowned. “Well, sort of. Pretty much.”

Rhallani paused. “He didn’t ask for me.” More a statement than a question.

Allie looked away. “Nope. And he won’t.” She ran her hands through her hair. “I know that look. He’s blaming himself right now, and if you don’t stop him, he’ll spiral. Noelle’s out, Serena’s trying to help her, and Tiana’s…”

“Yeah,” Rhallani said, nodding. “Yeah, okay.”

“I’d go myself, but…” she shrugged. “Not sure if I’d be welcome. I remember a time where I’d be the first one at his side at a time like this. Is it fucked to miss when we were literal slaves?”

Rhallani smiled softly. “You don’t miss being a slave, though. You miss how close you were with him. Have you thought about Serena’s offer?”

She nodded. “Yeah, after tonight I don’t think I can put it off any longer.”

“Good. Come on, then.” She led Allie up the stairs and into the main bedroom where they’d taken Noelle. They’d laid her down on her front so they could extend her wings. Tucked under them on one side was Safina, who had snuggled up next to the tiny Malachai and was gently stroking her back. She hadn’t left Noelle’s side since they got back, and Rhallani had a feeling they’d have to bring her meals up here until Noelle woke up. Safina wasn’t going to leave her side for anything.

Rhallani took a peek behind one of the curtained off corners where Tiana was taking care of herself with a combination of toys and Zaren’s shadows. He’d tried to tend to her when they got back but, Tiana being Tiana, she’d gently directed him to stay by Noelle’s side. It had probably been the right thing at the time, but Allie was right. Sitting by Noelle’s side and not doing anything was just going to lead to him thinking himself in circles.

“Wait here,” she told Allie, heading towards the group huddled around Noelle. Serena and Miril, the household’s only Seraphim, were going over Noelle’s freshly grown wings with a fine toothed comb to make sure they were whole and healthy. They certainly looked that way, long and well shaped. The red and black feathers shined in the light, and every so often they’d touch a spot that made the wing twitch so at least they knew the nerves were intact.

First she knelt down next to Serena. “How is she?”

“Physically? Fine.” Serena wiped at her forehead tiredly. “Her health is as full as I can get it and the wings don’t have any breaks or missing bones. If it were any other situation I’d say she’s just suffering from exhaustion, but considering the cursed otherworldly sword in the room I just can’t say for sure.”

That sounded about right. “So there’s nothing more you can do for her?” Serena shook her head. “In that case, I think Allie needs you.”

Serena glanced past the Arelim to where Allie was standing. Her eyes were locked on Zaren and she was chewing hard on the inside of her cheek. Her expression softened and she nodded. “Right. Good. He needs her, even if he’s being an idiot about this.”

“Especially then,” Rhallani said, giving Serena’s forearm a squeeze.

Rhallani watched her go, wishing she could go with her and join in on the naked cuddlefest. She was positive that Allie was delectable under those clothes with how efficient she was with a sword, but she could be patient.

Now it was time for the hard one. Zaren was sitting on the edge of the pit with his elbows on his knees, staring at but not really seeing Noelle. She was sleeping so peacefully Rhallani found it hard to believe anything was wrong, but it was hard to argue with the sudden appearance of those wings. She’d undergone something massive, and rarely was there given a boon such as this and no consequences.

She sat next to Zaren and leaned against him, gently rubbing his back. “Has Ash said anything?”

He grunted. “She says Noelle just needs rest while her soul recharges. That she came close to running out of time, but things went as well as they possibly could have.”

“You’re angry with her,” Rhallani noted.

He sighed and ran his hand over his face. “Yes. And before you even start, I’m fully aware she did what she did to save us all. I’m also aware that Noelle is capable of making her own decisions, and if the two of them hadn’t teamed up we’d probably all be dead or collared by now.”

“But emotions are rarely logical,” Rhallani finished for him.

“Yeah. I’ll be fine, I just need time.”

She nodded. “You will, and Noelle will, too, but there’s someone who needs you right now.”

His brow furrowed, then he cursed. “Tiana. How long have I been sitting here acting like a jackass?”

“Long enough,” Rhallani said, patting his shoulder. “Now go on and fuck Tiana till she passes out, ‘kay? Noelle is going to be fine and Karina and Jayme are both in Karina’s room already. Zoey and Reese are taking turns standing guard outside her room and Valith has eyes watching every corner for blocks. Your family is here, and they’re all safe. Go take care of our girl and get some rest, we’ll wake you the second Noelle wakes up.”

He looked at her for a bit longer, then nodded. He went to Noelle first and brushed his fingers against her wings. A shudder ran down the length of the appendage and Noelle stirred slightly. Then he brushed a knuckle against her cheek and she murmured something unintelligible, nuzzling into Safina’s embrace as best she could with her wings.

That seemed to placate him. After that he went to the curtained off corner. Rhallani knew she needed to get a move on while he was distracted, but she couldn’t help but wait for a ten count then peek behind the curtain. She would never get tired of seeing Tiana riding their man like a madwoman, her breasts bouncing and her face twisted with ecstasy while he thrust up into her.

She was tempted to rub one out, but she’d just been granted a window. After the day’s events Zaren would freak if he knew she was about to leave the manor, but he’d be distracted for the next hour at least. Probably longer judging by how fired up Tiana looked.

But Rhallani was the brains of the household, so she wasn’t going to just sneak out. No, she was going to do the smart thing and talk to the second strongest person in the household. Luckily, Jack wasn’t hard to find these days.

She spent a lot of time in her fire resistant room reading books from afar behind the glass shield Zaren had purchased her. Rhallani had finished their prototype room just this morning, but everything had gone to shit before they’d had a chance to test it. She’d talk to Zaren first thing in the morning about at least taking Jack to see if it worked so Rhallani could start outfitting the main bed with the enchantments.

But that was besides the point. She only had to knock on Jack’s door once before it opened. “What’cha need, sprite?” she asked, crossing her arm and leaning on the frame.

Rhallani bit her lip. “An escort. Into the city.”

Jacks brows shot up. “And Zaren okayed this?” Rhallani’s expression told her everything she needed to know, apparently. She snorted. “Alright, I’ll bite, where to?”

“Temple district,” Rhallani offered. “I need to talk to a goddess.”

She rolled her shoulders. “Fuck it. Shit’s never boring with you lot, at least. Now, I’m guessing? While he’s balls deep in Tiana?”

“Um, yeah.”

She just nodded again. “Sounds good. Let’s roll, then.” She grinned. “I get to be there when you tell him, though.”

Rhallani would have laughed if her stomach wasn’t twisted in so many knots. They collected Reese on their way out and Jack had her let one of Valith’s scouts know where they were headed so she didn’t sound any alarms.

They made good time, only getting stopped once by a curious guard. Jack showed him a bit of metal that had him taking a large step back with a very pale face. Any other day and Rhallani would have asked questions, but today her mind was firmly occupied.

Jack shot her a confused glance when they bypassed Allura’s temple, but she didn’t ask questions. Rhallani led the way to a larger building on the outskirts of the district. This particular temple wasn’t devoted to any particular god. Instead it was meant to allow worshipers to pray to a number of smaller gods. It took Rhallani a moment to find the altar she was looking for, but soon enough she was kneeling in front of a statue of the goddess of lost children.

“Really hope you’re listening, Keone, or I’m gonna get yelled at for nothing.” Jack watched from a distance (standing a respectable distance from anything wooden or flammable) while Rhallani lowered her head and closed her eyes. She sat like that for who knows how long, asking Keone for guidance and a meeting.

“Allura warned me you might be an issue,” a voice said from behind Rhallani.

She shot to her feet and whirled to face the slender woman with waist length black hair. Her skin looked like moonlight and her warm violet eyes seemed to chase away all of Rhallani’s fears and worries. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Keone let out a breath and started walking around the small, cozy room they were in. “Ask the questions you came here to ask, child.”

Rhallani gripped the hem of her skirt. “I’ve been doing a lot of researching, and I can’t find a single instance in scripture of Allura being able to reincarnate anyone. According to everything I’ve read, it isn’t a power that falls under her domain. She represents the bonds between living things. The connection between family members. Love. Nothing about birth, death, or rebirth falls under her domain.”

Keone turned away, clasping her hands behind her back. “Was there a question in there?”

“I did find a story where Allura worked with another god who could reincarnate. That god reincarnated the soul and Allura bonded them for eternity so that they’d always find one another in whatever incarnation they were born into. Just like she bound all of us to Zaren. I also found several instances that claimed that you would reincarnate lost children who died alone to give them another chance at happiness.”

“Yes,” Keone said, holding up a hand, “you’ve figured it out. I was the one to reincarnate you, not my mother. Though I did it at her request and with the power Zaren Nocht gave up.”

Rhallani nodded, her throat dry. “That’s why you had the marker. It was built to lead him to us, wasn’t it?”

Keone nodded curtly. “I won’t repurpose it though, no matter how much of a fuss Zaren makes.”

“He doesn’t know,” Rhallani said softly. “And I won’t tell him. Not that part, at least.”

“You just wanted to provide the last of your evidence before I so rudely cut you off?”

She blushed. “Um, maybe. Anyways, that’s not why I’m here.”

“I know.” Keone walked up to Rhallani, gently placing her cool palm to Rhallani’s cheek. “Do not ask this of me, child.”

“I have to. I don’t have any other choice.”

“There is always a choice.”

Rhallani shook her head. “I keep making these half connections. Sometimes I know things I shouldn’t. I remember things I’ve never learned. Like with the Primal classes.” She hugged herself. “I’m remembering things, aren’t I? Things I knew before.”

Keone let out a long, suffering breath. “You were mine, once. Hannah wasn’t your first life. Once upon a time you went through something that left a mark on your soul. You’re more connected to your past selves than you should be, though not nearly to the extent of poor Allisandre. I’m glad she’s doing better, by the way. I guided her to help as best I could.”

Rhallani saw the subject change, but she couldn’t stop herself from asking. “Will it work? Serena’s magic?”

“I’m not sure. If it does, I’m not sure anything will. Not with what was done to her soul.”

“Can you do it to me? Make me remember Hannah?”

Keone didn’t answer right away. She walked over to a window that overlooked a field of silver, glowing plants. “Yes, I can. But I would rather not.”

Rhallani stepped up to the window as well. All she could see was the field that went on for miles and a full moon that hung far too low in the sky, as if it were close enough for her to throw a stone at it. “Why not?”

“Because there are no half measures. If I remove the barrier between Hanna and Rhallani, you won’t just gain her memories. You will become Hannah, just as you are Rhallani. You will know everything. Not just what she knew, but her emotions. Her thoughts. Her hopes and her dreams. Her fears and her pain.” She looked down at Rhallani with sadness in her eyes. “Rhallani, if I restore your past life, you will know what it is to die.”

Rhallani swallowed heavily. The thought had occurred to her, sure, but hearing the goddess say it out loud? That was terrifying. But like she’d said before, she didn’t have a choice. There was something fluttering on the edges of her mind. Something she knew was important. Life or death. Hannah had a critical piece of information, she’d bet her life on it.

Or, at least, her sanity.

She took a deep breath. “You’ve done your duty and warned me of the consequences. Now please, goddess. Remove the barrier in my soul.”

# # #

“You’re sure you want to do this?” Therese asked for the hundredth time.

“With every fiber of my being,” Allie said, sighing as she pulled on a long shirt that she may or may not have borrowed from one of Zaren’s dressers. It smelled faintly of him, and took her mind off what she was about to do.

Nora wrapped her arms around Allie from behind. “Whatever happens, we’re with you. Until the end.”

“Good,” Allie said, stroking Nora’s forearm with her thumb. “Not sure I could do it without either of you.”

Therese sighed, then nodded. Allie understood where Therese was coming from. Her friend had come straight to her the moment Zaren had told her the short version of how she died. Even if, on some level, she knew it was the truth, she still refused to believe it.

“Come on, then.” Allie led them from the baths towards her room. After the fight, the least she could do was bathe before she spent any time wrapped up with one of Zaren’s girls. Nora looped her arm through Allie’s left while Therese interlocked her fingers with Allie’s right hand and they walked together to what Allie hoped would be the end of all this bullshit.

Serena was sitting on the edge of the bed wearing a robe when they walked in. She shot to her feet, clearly as nervous about what they were about to do as Allie was. “You’re sure you want to do this?” Serena asked.

Allie managed to suppress the need to pull her hair out. She knew Serena’s heart was in the right place, but if someone else asked her that question she was going to scream. Instead, she nodded. “You saw us out there, right? Me and Zaren, side by side?”

“I did.” She smiled. “You two were something else.”

“Fighting with him felt so… right,” Allie said, sitting on the bed. Therese sat next to her while Nora leaned against the wall. “And, if you’re right about all this goddess business, I can’t help but feel like she gave me my secondary class for a reason. So I could stand by him in combat. Be his perfect counterpart.”

She squeezed Therese’s hand. “I love my team. They’re my family, and fighting with them I feel like I fit with them perfectly. And with Zaren in the mix I felt… unstoppable. Since earlier, I can’t stop thinking that maybe I’m supposed to be at his side. That whatever threat we face next, I need to face it with him. And if we don’t resolve this, then there will always be a wall between us.”

Serena smiled. “Alright then. All that’s left is to decide how we want to do this.”

Allie bit her lip. “Can they stay?” she asked.

“Of course,” Serena said instantly. She stood and untied her robe, letting it fall to the floor. Allie knew why she was here, but it was still a shock when she turned out to be wearing nothing but a thin pair of lace panties underneath.

Allie forced herself not to look at Serena’s incredibly attractive body, now bared to her, and cleared her throat. “Right. Okay. We’re really doing this.” Gods, Serena was pretty. It might be foolish, but Allie couldn’t stop herself from imagining a future where she was a part of Zaren’s harem the same as the busty blonde. That, somehow, things worked out and all of Allie’s girls became Zaren’s girls too. That they could all be happy together.

Serena slipped between the covers and scooted as far back on the bed as she could manage. Vanni had spent a few nights in their room so Allie knew the bed could fit all four of them, but it would be tight. Before she could psych herself out, Allie pulled her own shirt over her head, though she kept it in her hands. She folded it up before sliding into the bed, laying it under her head as she laid down so close to Serena that she could feel the priestess’s body heat.

She felt Therese and Nora both climb into bed after, but neither touched her yet. They all waited on the priestess to take the lead. “My skill needs skin contact,” Serena said softly, blushing.

Allie nodded. “It’s fine. You’re Zaren’s girl, I’d like to be Zaren’s girl someday. Besides, it’s not like we’re having sex. Or doing anything Zaren hasn’t already suggested himself, right?”

She laughed softly. “No, I suppose not.”

Allie’s heart nearly leapt out of her chest as Serena wrapped those long, toned arms around her and tucked Allie into her bosom. Flesh pressed against flesh as they fit together like two adjoining puzzle pieces. Their legs entwined as if on their own and Serena’s long, callused fingers settled on Allie’s back. Only once they’d settled did Therese slide in behind her. She tucked into Allie’s back while Nora threw her arms over all of them.

“I’ll start healing in a moment,” Serena said, her chin resting on top of Allie’s head. “A fair warning, you might start to feel aroused. It's a side effect of my skill. If you need, ah, relief, then feel free to do whatever you need to do. Trust me, I’ve just about seen it all at this point. If you start to drift off then don’t fight it. From what you’ve told me, being unconscious might help your mind deal with the damaged memories.”

Allie just nodded, already feeling her eyelids start to droop. Then the soft, smooth flesh she was pressed against started to glow softly. Warmth seeped into Allie from every single inch that was touching Serena’s body, molding against hers so seamlessly it was hard to remember where one of them stopped and the other began. She felt warmth pooling between her thighs but it was secondary to a feeling like a thick, warm blanket being draped over her.

She listened to Serena and didn’t bother fighting the wave of sleep that washed over her. She let her eyes droop closed and the world fell away until there was nothing left but the faint scent of Zaren drifting up from the shirt she’d folded up under her head.

# # #

The smell of cooking stew filled the small house as Allie chopped away, dicing the vegetables in front of her. The sound of kids playing drifting through the window brought a smile to her face as she scooped the next wave of ingredients into the bubbling broth. She set the knife down and wiped her hands just as a par of arms snaked under hers, pulling her into a broad chest she knew all too well.

“Smells good,” the voice she loved so much whispered in her ear.

She hummed, leaning back into Zaren and reaching up to rub her palm across the stubble on his cheek. “It’ll taste even better if you actually let me finish cooking, love,” she said with a laugh.

“Mmmh,” he said, pressing his lips to the nape of her neck. “I’m not that hungry.”

“Well I am,” she said, patting his cheek. He nuzzled into her neck, dragging his scratchy beard across her neck and driving her into a fit of giggles.

“Makes sense, I suppose,” he said, his hands lowering to the swell of her belly, heavy with their child. “Eating for two as you are and all.”

She closed her eyes and hummed happily, just enjoying the moment while it lasted. Even if it was false.

“You’re not real, are you?” she asked softly.

He froze, going far too still. “Eliya, what are you talking about?”

A tear tracked its way down her cheek. “This is a lie. A dream. I don’t get to have a happy ending.”

He didn’t answer. Her back grew cold, and when she turned around he was gone. The sounds of children had vanished with him, along with most of the color in the cozy kitchen. Allie didn’t bother wiping the tears away, letting them fall freely. Then she put her hands to her belly and found it flat. A sob escaped her at the overwhelming feeling of loss that enveloped her. She’d always dreamed of having a normal life. Being someone’s wife. Someone's mother. Nobody special. Not a slave or an experiment.

“I’m sorry,” an unfamiliar voice said. “I didn’t intend to cause you pain.”

Allie turned towards the woman. She was tall. Gorgeous. Glowing golden hair. Perfect skin. Curves in all the places that she wished her scarred body had. “Who’re you?” she demanded.

“Call me Allura,” she said softly.

“Well, Allura, you and your shitty dream can fuck off.” She angrily wiped away a tear. “I don’t need to see all the things I can never have.”

Allura gave her a sad look. “I only thought to give you something happy. I wish I could do more, I truly do.”

Allie scowled. She tried to remember where she was. How she’d gotten here. She remembered her night with Zaren, staring at the stars drawn on the ceiling of their cell. Falling asleep with her hand in his. Being woken by the collar and forced to leave before she could so much as say goodbye. Karn dragging her into his vault and opening the glass case that kept the giant blade that terrified her.

She remembered how eager he’d been when he’d ordered her to draw it. The searing pain as it ripped her apart from the inside. His rage and anger that she was another failure. That she’d failed to wield it for even a full minute. Then he’d started in on her.

He’d beaten her black and blue. Slammed her into the glass case so hard it had shattered it, leaving her feeling like she was made of cuts and bruises. Laying in a pile of glass as broken as her body. Sobbing from the pain and fear. Looking up at his hateful face as he gave her his final order. Forbidding her from healing herself.

Allie sucked in her breath. Tears sprung to her eyes. “I’m dying.”

Allura nodded. “Yes, I’m afraid so, child.”

A shuddering sob wracked her body and she clamped her hand over her face. Her eyes jammed shut. Her legs gave out underneath her and she sank to the floor. Allura knelt next to her, pulling Allie’s head into her bosom and stroking her hair.

“After what you’ve endured I thought it only fair for you to pass on in the midst of a happy memory, even a fabricated one,” she explained, “rather than in pain and fear.”

Allie wasn’t sure how long she laid there crying before she simply ran out of tears. She was never going to see Zaren again. Never going to see freedom. Never stand in the sun or feel the rain or curl up next to a fire with a good book or a million other things she’d only ever whispered to Zaren about in the dead of night, afraid speaking those dreams aloud would rob her of them.

“I want to see him,” Allie said finally. “One last time. Can you do that?”

Allura pursed her lips. “I can try, but Eliya… your death won’t be quick. Not unless…” Her eyes unfocused and her brows narrowed. Then her jaw set and her beauty shifted from warm and comforting to terrifying.

She touched her fingertips to Allie’s forearm. “Eliya, how much is it worth to you to see Zaren one final time?”

Allie frowned, sniffling. “I’m not sure what I have to offer you.”

Allura stood and clasped her hands in front of her. Something had shifted in the room, so Allie used the countertop that she’d been dicing vegetables on to pull herself up as well. “Allura?”

“There are many rules that govern what I’m able to do. I don’t like these rules, but I am bound by them nonetheless.” She looked away at something Allie couldn’t see. “There are so many things I cannot do, like intervene and save your life. But what I can do is tell you that Zaren is on the cusp of reaching his next level.”

Allie’s heart hammered, though this time for a different reason. “What are you saying? What are you telling me to do?”

“Truthfully? I do not know. What I do know is that I am tired of living by these rules. I am willing to challenge them, to bend them if I can, damn the consequences.” She turned to Allie. “I cannot give you any guarantees, but I will say this. If Zaren can earn a level before Karn sees him next, then there is a possible future where Zaren does not die in a collar.”

“I-I can save him?” Allie demanded, stepping closer.

Allura put her hands on Allie’s shoulders. “There must be balance. If something is given, something else must be taken away. But I’m hoping that if something is taken first, then perhaps what is given will be that much more potent. But Eliya, either way, there must be sacrifice.”

Allie bit her lip, then nodded. “Okay. Okay, alright. I… I can do that. I just… let me see him one last time and I’ll give my life.”

Allura reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind Allie’s ear. Hair that Allie wouldn’t have outside this dream thanks to Karn. “Whatever happens, Eliya, know that you are loved. By him and by me. When you take your last breath, I will be there.”

She leaned forward and brushed her lips against Allie’s forehead and the world faded away only to be replaced by pain. Horrible, throbbing, wracking pain that assaulted every inch of her. A strangled sob ripped its way out of her throat as someone shifted her.

A thumb wiped the tears and blood from her eyes. When she finally managed to open her eyes, Zaren’s tear stained face was looking down at her. “Eliya,” he whispered, cradling her head, “Eliya, it’s going to be okay.”

“Z-Zaren,” she choked out.

She cried out as he shifted her slightly, feeling bones grinding inside her where something inside her had been broken. “Shh, it’s gonna be fine. Once Karn gets back—”

“Stop,” she whispered. Already she could sense everything slipping away. She couldn’t feel her fingers anymore, and her arms weren’t far. Her head lolled as she tried to look around and her gaze fell on a jagged shard of glass big enough for what she needed to do. “I’m gonna die, Zaren.”

“No! No, no, no! You’re gonna be fine, Eliya. Please, You can’t—I can’t do this on my own.”

“You can,” she said, fumbling for the shard. Even though she couldn’t feel anything but pain past her elbows she somehow managed to pick it up. “Zaren, I-I need you to do something for me. Please.”

“Anything,” he said, starting to rock her. “Anything, Eliya. Just stay with me, please.”

Her eyelids were starting to droop already. She lifted the shard and he gingerly took it. “Eliya, you know we can’t hurt him. He’s got standing orders—”

“Not him,” she said softly.

His expression twisted with horror. He tried to throw the shard away but she grabbed his wrist. “No, Zaren. Please,” she begged. “I’m going to die. If-if I die, he gets all of me. All the experience from what he did. I don’t want to be a part of him. Please…” she coughed, the sound wet, “please. I… I want to stay with you, even after I’m gone. I want to leave a part of me with you. Don’t let him have me, Zaren. Please?” she babbled. The black on the edges of her vision was growing thicker by the second.

He held the shard with trembling fingers, tears streaming down his face. She hated doing this to him. Hated that he would have to live with this weighing on him for the rest of his life. But if he lived, then it would be worth it.

She whimpered as he shifted her again, gripping the long, razor shard of glass so hard it cut into his palm. A part of her liked that. That her blood would mix with his. He held the glass over her chest and she placed her bloody hand on his cheek.

“Zaren, don’t let this break you. Live. For me. For all of us.”

He nodded and she saw his demeanor shift. Saw subject thirteen take over. After everything he’d done, she knew he could do this, too. Even if it destroyed him. “Do you want to close your eyes?”

She made a sound that was almost a no. She knew what she wanted the last thing she saw in this world to be. Together they took one last shuddering breath. Then he plunged the shard down. Allie felt a sharp, burning pain, then everything went cold. It was a relief when the pain faded, then she let oblivion take her.

The cold took her, permeating every inch of her being. Then, bit by bit, that cold was replaced by a soft, comforting warmth. When she opened her eyes again she was in the same spot, only instead of Zaren holding her prone form it was Allura.

Allie tried to open her mouth and speak, but she couldn’t seem to find her voice.

“Shh, it’s alright. It’ll take your soul a moment to adjust to not having a body,” Allura said, gently stroking Allie’s hair.

Allie started, sitting up clumsily. She felt weightless and off balanced, but she was more interested in the fact that she had hair on the side of her head again. Then, as the world slowly started to come into focus, she heard him.

Zaren screamed, clutching her body to his chest. It was a raw, agonizing sound that would haunt her for the rest of her… well, whatever her existence was now. She felt Allura’s hand on her back. “I thought you might want to see the aftermath of your sacrifice.”

When Allie looked at the goddess, the corners of her mouth had turned up in the shadow of a smirk. “Did it work?”

“Better than I could have imagined,” Allura said softly. “It seems I still have a bit to learn when it comes to the nature of cosmic deals. I only assumed you’d be giving up your life. I didn’t factor in your future. Your happiness. The damage to your eternal soul. The pain you knowingly caused a loved one. You sacrificed so much more than a simple life, and it showed in the other end of my deal. The depth of that sacrifice gave me more power to uphold my end of the deal.”

Allie turned back to where Zaren had finally gone quiet. It was surreal to see herself from an outside perspective. She was sure if she could cry in this form she would have as she watched Zaren set her body down, gently rearranging her limbs so she might have been sleeping. Blood poured from the deep cut of his palm but there was so much of her blood on the floor it was difficult to notice if she didn’t look for it.

He sat in silence, just staring at her body, for what felt like an eternity until the door opened. Karn strode through in all his twisted glory. She’d hated him for a very long time, but she hated him even more seeing the look of satisfaction on his face.

“Thirteen,” he said, and Zaren’s collar lit up. “Answer me with the truth. Did you love her?”

Allie held her breath as she waited for the answer. She wished she hadn’t had to die to hear how he felt, but at least she would—

“No,” Zaren said, his voice ragged. If Allie hadn’t been sitting down she surely would have fallen as stabbing pain ripped at her chest. “I took comfort in her body. Nothing more.”

Karn’s expression fell. “You simply used her for sex, then?”

Zaren didn’t look away from her body. “I did.”

Some of the pain started to fade. Her and Zaren had never had sex before. He’d lied. He’d lied after Karn had explicitly told him to tell the truth. He’d ignored a direct order from the collar.

When Allie looked at Allura, she was smiling. She turned back in time to hear Karn order Zaren to follow him before turning and leaving the room. Zaren didn’t move in spite of the collar’s glow. He gently touched her face and she knew in that moment he’d lied about not loving her, too.

Then Zaren finally got to his feet. The vacant look on his face scared her, even if she’d seen it before. All she could do now was hope her last request would be enough to keep him moving forward until he could find someone who saw in him what she had.

He looked at the door, then he turned away and walked to the cursed sword that had nearly killed her. He lifted it, then with trembling hands he unlatched the blade and pulled it partway out of its sheath. Solid red smoke twisted around his arm and snaked up towards his torso but he didn’t even flinch.

It kept spreading up the limb until it touched the collar. Where the crimson smoke met metal it began to smoke and rust. Next to Allie, Allura sucked in her breath. In seconds the collar had fallen to the ground and Zaren was shoving the sword back into its scabbard. After one last look towards Allie’s body he walked out the door after Karn, dragging the heavy blade and its scabbard behind him.

“Magnificent,” Allura breathed after he’d vanished beyond the door.

Allie didn’t answer. Not right away. She stood there, looking at her own body, for what felt like hours before the numbness suddenly faded away, leaving her feeling like a raging inferno had ben lit inside her. She'd known it a moment before, but she understood it now. This woman was a goddess. “Why?” she demanded as anger bloomed in her chest. “Why wait until now? Why let us go through all this? What made you start caring all of the sudden?”

Allura schooled her expression fast. “You might not believe me, but in truth I only recently learned of your predicament. I was… led here.”

“By who?”

Allura raised a brow and Allie very briefly questioned her own sanity at questioning a goddess, but she quickly moved past that. Then Allura sighed. “I have been following a trail of breadcrumbs left by a goddess much older and much more powerful than I. One who died long before I ascended to my godhood. Pieces set in motion in a place very different from this one.”

“Different from Karn’s place?”

“Not quite,” Allura said with a smirk. “I thought that trail ended with the blade, but I think I was wrong. I think it’s Zaren that’s the key. The linchpin. A Convergence of cosmic impossibilities that just might give us a chance in changing our fate.”

“Yeah,” Allie said, “I don’t know what most of that means.”

Allura smiled ruefully. “Apologies. I’ve always been fond of humans, and there are few gods I trust with the things I’ve learned. I tend to let my mind get away from me.”

Just as Allie opened her mouth to ask what comes next the door opened again. Zaren limped into the room covered in blood and soot. He fell to a knee beside her body and cupped her cheek. “I killed him, Eliya,” he rasped. “I put my arms around his throat and I squeezed until he stopped breathing. I killed the rest of them, too. It’s over. It’s over, and you saved me.”

Then, with extreme difficulty, he managed to lift her over his shoulder with one arm while his other still clutched the blade. Eventually he stood and limped back out the door as the room started to fill with smoke.

“He’s the key, I know it,” Allura said, more to herself than anything else. “Now if only I could find a way to guide him.”

“Guide? Or manipulate?”

She started as if she’d momentarily forgotten Allie’s presence. “I would prefer to guide him. Support him from afar. After what he's been through the last thing I wish to do is use him against his will. But if it comes down to it, to prevent  the end of everything as we know it, I will manipulate him if I must. Only as a last resort. I just wish I knew how.”

Allie felt more tired than she’d ever felt in her life, but she forced herself to straighten. “What’s that information worth to you?”

The goddess’s eyes gleamed. “Looking to make another deal?”

“Giving you inside info on the man I love? That’s gotta be worth quite a bit. Especially if I don't know if I can trust you not to hurt him.”

“I could give you another chance,” she offered. “Reincarnation isn’t one of my powers, but I know of someone who would be willing to do me that favor. And, for what it is worth, I give you my word that I have his best interests at heart. I firmly believe that being the key to saving our existence is something worth rewarding.”

Allie thought it over for a good while. After all, it wasn’t like she was on a clock any longer. “Fine, but not for me.” Allura frowned, then nodded for her to continue. “My friends. The others in my trial. They deserve another chance. Maeve and Gwen. Isabel. Davis.”

“Not you?” Allura asked softly.

“No. No, I’d rather wait for Zaren.”

She hummed. “Very well. Four souls given another chance for the information on how to guide Zaren to his destiny.”

Allie tried not to feel guilt at the deal she’d made. Instead she focused on her next words. Maybe if she played her cards right she could help Zaren from beyond the grave. Maybe she could offer him the chance at the life he deserved. Besides, this goddess was going to try and use him one way or another. This was Allie's one chance to make sure he came out on top.

“You’ll never control Zaren. Not really. He’ll always find a way to slip your collar and rip off the hand that feeds him. The second you manipulate him or lie to him about your motives even once you’ll lose him. He'll never stop trying to undermine your efforts or taking you down, especially if he even thinks you might use others to manipulate him. You'll have to prove that you're not just another Karn. If you want him on your side you’ll want to give him two things.”

“And those two things are?”

Allie looked at the pool of blood. Hers and his. All she could do now was hope her next words wouldn't damn him. “You need to give him something to lose. Then give him an avenue to protect it. There is nothing Zaren wouldn’t do to protect the people he cares for.”

That seemed to surprise Allura. “You would have me blackmail him?”

“Try it, I dare you,” Allie said with a dry laugh. “No, if you really want Zaren to do whatever it is you want him to do, you need him to be your ally, not your tool. He doesn’t respond well to authority and he hates following orders. He’s more of a ‘point and set loose’ kinda guy anyways. Karn learned fast that Zaren is more efficient the fewer direct orders he’s given. Give him a task and no real direction as to how he should go about accomplishing it and watch the magic happen.”

Then she sighed. “Not that he’s got anyone left that he cares about. Karn took them all away one by one by one.”

Something shifted in Allura’s expression. There was a glimmer in her eye that made Allie wary. “Thank you, Eliya. You may have just earned this plane a stay of execution. Like I said before, I believe that those that allow us to survive deserve rewards, not punishment. Now I have one more deal to offer you, independent of the one we just agreed upon.”

Allie crossed her incorporeal arms. “Yeah?”

“Your soul is supposed to go on to its afterlife. Thanks to the cosmic overflow from our first deal I was able to hold you here a bit longer after your passing, but that time is almost up.”

She turned towards Allie fully. “Entrust your soul to me, and I will ensure you see Zaren again.”