# 022
"Then why you no want me talk sex?" Kaitlyn repeats Rosie's earlier words with a loud laugh. "Oh, gods. I thought I was going to die. And, the fact that she was using Jen's voice made it that much better."
"..." I just glare at my middle sister, waiting for her and everyone else to get it out of their systems. "Weren't we here to pick up an outfit?" I say after a minute when they're all still laughing about it.
"Oh, yeah." Maddie snaps out of it. "You wait here; I'll be back in a minute." It took longer than a minute, but I've been kept waiting outside clothes shops by Mom and the girls before, and this was nothing near as bad as that.
"All done?" I ask once she returns with a wrapped bundle in her arms. "Let's get to the guild then. The twins look like they're about to go on another rampage, and I can't think of a better place for them to do so."
One glance at them is all it takes for her to agree, and soon we all find ourselves at the doors of the adventurer's guild.
"Alright, girls, go nuts." I set them loose on the poor unsuspecting fools. "Try to keep the bloodshed to a minimum though." I call after them when they charge into the boisterous crowd.
"Katie." Jen holds her back before she runs off too. "Give me your cores and I'll go exchange them for you."
"Thanks, Jen. Try to get me a good rate." Katie hands over the large pouch with a smirk. "Now, whose ass should I kick first?" She looks over the crowd with a wicked smile playing on her lips.
"I don't even know why you'd want to bother with this lot?" I speak just a little too loudly while repeatedly flipping a gold coin in the air. "At least back in the city, you could find a decent match up. Why, I bet that no one here can last more than a couple of rounds against you, let alone win."
This isn't our first hustle and normally, I'd put a little more effort into it. But, it's just not worth it for this crowd. The only ones that might pose a problem for her are the handful of chaperone types and they've already got wide grins on their faces, knowing what's about to happen to their charges.
"Aww, don't scare them off, Cole." Kaitlyn looks down her nose at the crowd who is now staring at us with building anger. "Sure, they probably can't even handle the twins, but they can at least let me practice my legwork as I dance around them."
"Yeah, you lot couldn't even beat us." Sera shouts. "Yeah, if you're too scared to get beaten up by Katie, then we'll fight you." Esra walks right up to the biggest, burliest guy there, and punches him in the gut with all the force a seven-year-old girl can muster. Which is a lot more than he was expecting, and it shows.
"Look at that." Katie shakes her head in disappointment. "I'm gonna have to take them on two or three at a time just to break a sweat."
"Alright, you little brat!" A haughty, princess type is the first to break. "You want a duel, you've got one."
"A bit scrawny, but you'll do as a warm-up." The girl turns red as Katie mocks her. "What do you think, Cole, two minutes?"
"You heard her everyone!" I call out with a wide grin. "Three to one odds that princess there doesn't last two minutes. Five to one if, by some miracle, she makes it to three. Hells, I'll give you ten to one if she can knock my twelve-year-old sister down even once. Don't bother asking for odds on her winning, that's just not gonna happen."
The crowd erupts into noise as we all file back into the dueling arena. Dozens of the fools hand me their money, too stupid to know better.
"Do you do this often?" Maddie says into my ear, so I can hear her over the roar of the crowd.
"Every now and then." I grin back at her and pick Rosie up to set her on my shoulders so she can see.
"Well, this looks to be an interesting match-up." The guild head came down herself to officiate. Watching stupid duels like this is probably the only fun she gets to have around here. "Kaitlyn Ryder: dual swords versus Leeanne Beaumarch: sword and shield. Do you both agree to this duel?" They nod. "Then, fight!"
Kaitlyn's already in motion before the other girl can even take a ready stance. Once up close, my sister moves like she's going to circle around the girl's shield only to juke the other way with a spin. The abrupt move ends with one Katie's swords knocking the girl's sword away and the other at the nape of her neck, only stopped by a powerful magic barrier.
"I think you might have over-estimated her by just a smidge, Katie." I say into the now silent room, the crowd too stunned to say a peep. "Maybe you were right about having to fight multiple opponents."
"That was a fluke!" The girl, Leeanne shouts. "I wasn't going to go all out against a kid."
"Sure, you weren't. Sure, you weren't." I nod, sagely. "Whatever you have to tell yourself."
"Fuck you!" She spits up at me. "And, bring it on, you little brat, your trick isn't going to work twice."
"You call that a trick?" My little sister laughs right in her face. "Go home princess, you aren't even worth my time."
"I demand a rematch!" The girl is red in the face by now.
"Fine." Katie rolls her eyes and returns to her side of the arena. "I suppose I can give you another thirty seconds of my time. Even if you actually try to fight this time, it's not going take me any longer than that."
"Should I even bother to open up the bets again?" I say with a dramatic sigh. "You're all just throwing your coin away at this point. Fine, fine. Five to one she lasts more than half a minute, ten to one that she makes it through a whole one. And, we all know princess there won't be able to knock her down, so say twenty to one she even lands a blow."
I don't even bother hiding my grin as the idiots hand over their silver.
"Do remember that the guild taxes all winnings at ten percent." The guild master says for the crowd, but she's looking straight at me with a shit-eating grin on her face. "You two ready? Then, fight!"
The princess thinks she's ready this time, but she couldn't be more wrong. Kaitlyn dances forward, her moves deceptively fast, even faster than her mad rush from the first match. Leeanne might be angry, but she's smart enough to not underestimate my sister twice. Too bad for the poor girl she never stood a chance. Not against a sword dancer, even a beginner like Katie.
In a move similar to, if somewhat clumsier than, the cross slash I used to take out the king slimes, my little sister knocks Leeanne's sword and shield away with one sword. The opening this makes is then filled by her other blade that is once again stopped by a magic barrier before it can take the fighter's life.
"Now, there's a trick for you." Kaitlyn says with a pitying gaze before spinning away to address the crowd. "Next! Someone who actually knows how to fight this time, please."
"You fucking bitch!" Princess loses it and tries to take a swing at Kaitlyn, only to end up flat on her back with a sword pressing through the barrier at her neck to draw a drop of blood.
"What did you call me?" My sister glares down at the sore loser with death in her eyes. "Eww!" She then screams like only a twelve-year-old girl can and jumps away when the girl pees herself.
"Leeanne Beaumarch." The guild master's voice roars out to fill the room despite her not raising it beyond a conversational level. "For attacking an opponent after the duel had ended, you are hereby banned from the Guild for a period of one year, and this location for life!"
As though lifted by invisible hands, the girl floats over the crowd and out the door. Everyone stands locked in place, even those who had her urine rain down on them are unable to move.
"Fucking idiot children!" The head's muttered oath breaks the spell on the crowd. "Good moves, kiddo. But, if I catch you cutting a barrier like that again, the same will happen to you." She pats Katie on the head before returning to her seat at the side of the arena.
"Geez, Katie." I say with an exasperated sigh. "Did you have to make her pee herself? Now nobody is gonna want to fight you." The laughter starts small, but soon every person in the room is laughing their heads off.
"Oh my god, that was amazing." A tall blonde with hair too long to be practical in the field bounces over to Kaitlyn with a group of friends in tow. "How did you learn to fight like that, are you really only twelve?"
"Fucking hell." I breathe out a relieved sigh while my middle sister is making new friends. "That hasn't happened in a while."
"Wait, that's happened before?" Madison stares at me wide-eyed.
"A couple of times before, yeah." I chuckle. "Some people just can't handle being beaten by someone half their age. The mocking doesn't help much either, but that's at least partly my fault; she's picked up on my general dislike towards adventurers over the years."
"I'm really glad I quit then." She laughs nervously.
"Me too." I put my arm around her with a smile. "Girls! Put those weapons back where you found them." Just as I was getting cozy with Madison, the twins decided to liberate a few pointy objects from the gathered crowd.
"Aww!" - "No fair, we never get to have any fun." They pout, drawing another round of laughter from the crowd. Well, all except the ones who just got pick-pocketed by seven-year-olds.
...
"So, how'd we make out?" Katie runs up to me a while later; she's all sweaty and dirty from a few friendly spars, but still full of energy. "Not bad." She grins when I bounce the pouch in my hand. "Gimme, gimme."
Jen and Selene showed up during the spars and, surprisingly, so did Maria. The three of them were keeping their distance from me and Madison though, so I sent Rosie over to play with them as a little thank you.
"Hah!" I bark out a laugh and toss a coin pouch to her. "Here you go, you little pest. And, of course, here's the guild's cut." I toss a much smaller pouch over my shoulder to where the guild master was stalking towards us.
"Thank you very much." She catches the bag with a grin. "And, I don't suppose you'd be up for a little sparring yourself? It's been ages since I went up against a sword dancer."
"B-but, Karla. My girlfriend and half my family are watching." I start snickering when she blushes again.
"Alright, that's it, you little shit." She grabs me by the arm and drags me down to the floor of the arena. "Grab some swords; it's high time someone taught you the risks of teasing a guild master."
"Maddie, please forgive me, she's making me do this." I laugh as my girl's face turns a deep crimson. "Girls, don't watch. This isn't going to be pretty. And, you! Yes, you, the one taking bets. You can at least give me better odds than that."
"Would you quit fooling around already and pick some weapons?" The guild master says with a sigh.
"Where's the fun in that?" I smile at her before dismissing the training blades with a glance. "Those won't do, not if you want me to be able to put up a fight." Placing my hands at my waist like I'm going to draw, I close my eyes and will my mage blades into existence. "Willing to give me better odds now, you little shit?" I say over my shoulder with a smirk.
"Hahaha!" Karla's laughter rings out over the silent crowd. "I knew you wouldn't disappoint."
"I'll try not to, Ma'am." I reply while ducking my head shyly. "But, I'm still a teenager, and well... just look at you." She rolls her eyes, and I take my opening to dash forward.
My right blade flies forward, aimed straight at those eyes she foolishly took off of me, but it's intercepted by a hand-and-a-half sword that seemed to teleport into her hand. It was a long shot that she'd fall for such a cheap trick, but I had to try it.
We wear matching grins as I use the recoil of her block to dance away, only to slip back in to test her once more. Her defense is impenetrable though, even when my blades stab in from entirely different directions.
"You warmed up yet, boy?" She cocks a mocking eyebrow at me.
"What?" I shoot back all innocent. "Is my foreplay not good enough for you? On to the main course then." My speed doubles and doubles again, but that damned sword of hers blocks every attack with contemptuous ease.
"Oh. I suppose you were right." The woman sends me a pitying look. "You really are just a teenager."
"Hahahaha!" I just laugh at that, but mostly at the single droplet of sweat beading up on her forehead. "At least, I can make you sweat a little. For an inexperienced lad such as I, that truly is the highest of compliments."
She grins at me and finally goes on the offensive. But, just as she could block my every attack, I can dodge all of hers. Though, by ever-decreasing margins.
"You're not running out of stamina already, are you, dear?" Her blade flashes faster and faster with each word.
"Did you really expect anything less?" I return sadly. "I'm trying everything I can think of, but I'm barely holding on here. Any more of your skillful moves and I'm likely to lose it."
"Heh! Barely holding on, my ass." She snorts.
"I told you, not in front of my girlfriend." I say while tilting my head to one side to stare at her butt, only to then have to make several quick moves to avoid getting impaled.
"Slippery little shit." She chuckles.
"What can I say?" I shrug one shoulder. "That guy should have given me better odds." She laughs after looking up to the crowd to see that poor bet taker standing there with his face fallen while surrounded by a bunch of grinning chaperones.
"You've been drawing this out? Hah! Well, I think it's time to end things." I don't even see her move after that; she just appears in front of me, her sword ready to cleave me in two if not for the barrier and her own restraint.
"Thanks for the dance, love." I let my swords dissipate and bow to the woman who was toying with me the whole time. "I hope to one day be worthy of you."
***