Chapter 70: In Which Miss Carrion Explains How She Intends To Capture My Heart

Miss Carrion raised an eyebrow. "Justify... the idea that there is some sort of justice in this world... I don't think that's true?" She stood up and started to pace a little. "We killed the gods long ago, and the hierarchies that were raised in their place were no more just or kind. Justice is, at it's core, not in the nature of humanity, nor of summons like yourself."

"You... or your previous self, if you still wish to play that game... tried to kill me. Was it just to kill me?"

"...I don't know. I lack information."

"I didn't know why you attacked me, either... let's say you had a good reason. If I had killed you in self-defense, would that have been justice? For surely one can't say that self-defense is an injustice when I didn't even have a chance to find out what I had done wrong... if one believes in justice." She turned back and smiled down at me. "Will it be justice when you are reduced to an utterly submissive slave to me?"

I furrowed my brow. "I... I don't think there's an objective thing such a thing as justice, but I want the world to be just."

"Awwwh... but darling, I'm the exact same way. I choose out targets which aren't needed by the world, do something that violates my sense of aesthetics, or wrong me, and I torture them into a state more like what I wish they would be... either a version of themself that I am glad to have in the world, or dead so they aren't mucking up the picture."

I slowly stretched my arms in front of me as I tried to get them used to the increase circulation which was making them feel painful, to release the muscles that had been tightened for a while, then lowered them. "...I don't think 'violating your sense of aesthetics' deserves torture or death, though, Miss Carrion...."

Miss Carrion laughed. "Well, we all have our own senses of justice, don't we, doll? That's sort of half the problem with the world. You've murdered entire families... sometimes slowly and cruelly, from what we can tell of the traces you leave behind. Their slaves too, more often than not. Tell me: what exactly is just about that? Did those people need to die suffering?"

I lowered my eyes. "I... don't know. I try not to pay attention to injustices I can't change."

"And your Mistress Eve and the Pretender are entirely out of your control. Poor little baby... I understand." Her voice was sweet, if rather condescending.

I lowered my head. "I... could've tried to do more to stop them, and I didn't."

"Well, they trained you not to, didn't they? When you accept you have no power, it's easy to accept the injustice of the situation, isn't it?" Miss Carrion walked towards me, pulling her hand back, and then I heard a loud crack, and I was on the floor sprawled half on my side, and everything was a little out of synch and my cheek hurt so much and I was crying and trembling.

Miss Carrion kneeled down next to me, and stroked my pained cheek gently, making me whimper.

"Why... why did you do that?" My voice was soft, and, I realized, fearful. My body was trembling again. I really did not know what this woman would do to me, despite how reasonable or unreasonable her words were from moment to moment.

"I'm being kind and reminding you that you have zero control over this situation, my little Eve. You have zero control over the rest of your life. Any little illusion of control I give you is just a kindness... any little glimpse of freedom you might see before you is just a trap. You only have one choice before you: submit to me utterly."

Miss Carrion grabbed hold of my chin and turned my head, made me look up at her. "Your only choice is when... do you do it today? Tomorrow? A week from now? I don't know... but I do so enjoy the journey."

I tried to blink back my tears and stare up at her, gathering my determination as best I could. "...how many slaves do you have, Miss Carrion?"

"Oh? None at the moment. I'm so gentle that when I see them with someone they'd love more, I sell my slave to the one they'll be happier with."

"...how many of your slaves have you killed, Miss Carrion?"

Miss Carrion narrowed her eyes, squeezing my chin tighter so it hurt. "I don't know if I like that implication, darling... only a few, and accidentally." She smiled, staring through me. "Sometimes I get just a little carried away with those I love. Someone who resists my will... well, I guess I can get a little bit crueler, when that happens."

"You can't like, count them, or remember their names?"

"Three... seven... does it matter? I certainly remember some of their names. But, that's the problem with training slaves who were violent rascals before I ever met them... lots of betrayals. So many times where they try to kill me a second time, or don't utterly devote themselves to me, and I am ever so disappointed in them as I torture them to death."

I whined softly and let myself relax against the cold stone floor. At least I had distracted her from giving away secrets.

"Maybe I'm just a romantic at heart, an eternal searcher for love... but maybe you'll be the one for me? I would so adore a you that was utterly devoted and loyal to me." Miss Carrion's boot pressed on top of the side of my head, and she leisurely started to rub her boot back and forth, grinding my head into the floor a little. "So... how do you call Mistress Eve back into you?"

...I guessed she had noticed the subject change too. "I can't. Not when you have me imprisoned here."

Her foot pressed a little harder. "So the Pretender has a method of instilling this 'goddess' into you."

...in a sense? "Yes?"

"And you're just... eager to utterly give your entire self to her like that?"

I bit my lip. It was getting more and more painful as she rubbed my cheek against the rough stone. "I... I can't actually escape except by killing her, so... she takes good care of me... it's not all bad... can you please stop, Miss Carrion? I'm answering your questions right now, aren't I?"

Miss Carrion removed her foot and nudged my nose with the tip of her boot. "And why do you think that I can't instill that same sense of loyalty, fear, utter helplessness and submission into yourself towards me? You may have been this 'Mistress Eve's' body up until now, but there's no way that's ever happening again. For you, your world is only me and this dungeon... for the rest of your life, unless you impress me."

"I... they still feel very real to me. Even if you say my world is limited to this one, I still know what might happen to them if I told you everything... and it's not like I know all that much... I already told you the big secret."

"Awwwh, you really did, didn't you? Just blurted it out... I barely even started torturing you, and you said it without even trying... so cute. Such a pathetic little excuse of a human... I love that about you, you know? You're utterly worthless and you know and accept that you are."

My hand tightened to grip at the floor a little... I really didn't want to hear this. I had quite possibly thrown away my entire future, the entire revolution... well, not revolution quite, with the crown Princess at the head, of it, but....

"Mmm, yeah. Be a good girl and go in there, and I'll give you a little rest." She pointed, and my eyes followed her finger to a barred cell. I hesitated, just for a moment, but then felt a hard smack against my butt and yelped, and crawled into my prison cell.

It clanged shut behind me.

"Now... I'll give you a few days to think about where your loyalties lie, Eve, while I make sure everyone hears about that absolutely delicious nugget of knowledge you gave me..." Miss Carrion walked and and reached her hand through the bars, and I pressed my head up against it, wondering how soon it would be until I saw anyone again.

She grabbed me by the hair and tilted it back. "And if what you told me isn't true, well... this is your one chance to back out. Because after this, if I find out it was a lie, ever, I'm going to torture you to death in ways you can't even conceive of."

A shudder ran through me. Protect myself, or others? I tried to make my mouth move, make myself say it was a lie, but I realized that if I forced myself to say it now, she'd see through me and just broke down sobbing. My Princess had taught me that I was not actually prepared for the consequences of my actions... certainly, I wasn't prepared to be put in this body. And certainly, now I hesitated and trembled in ways that made me obvious.

All of their training to make me loyal and obedient had led me to let something slip, and her efforts to instill the fear of death in me had just made me more hesitant, less able to act on my loyalty.

I hadn't stopped crying, but I started laughing too, both helplessly, as I realized just how utterly out of control I was of, well, everything, really.