Chapter 58: In Which Many Fates Are Revealed

From everything about the situation, it very much felt I had fucked up. My ears were slumped, my tail was curled around myself.

Wren, I, and Ava were all kneeling in front of Princess in her room, one on either side of me.

She reached over to pet Wren's head idly, before looking over to me and Ava.

"Wren, you did fine. You did everything you were supposed to do." Her eyes shifted to me, and her eyes narrowed. I couldn't read minds, but I could feel "oh, yes, wait for it, we are going to get to you, slave" in her eyes, and I lowered my eyes, biting my lip.

Her gaze shifted to Ava. "Why didn't you escape?"

Ava hesitated for a moment. "One, it could be a trap. Two, I don't really have anywhere to go, Princess."

Princess stared at her for a long moment, a blank dispassionate mask trying to cover the shifting emotions in her eyes. "You could survive on your own."

"Survive? Certainly, Princess. But I would give up what remains of my honor in the process, as well as my family, and my loyalty to you."

"I see. Why did you betray me?"

Ava looked up at Princess, looking genuinely surprised and hurt. "Betray you? How could I dare... I merely said since you were desperate enough to send Sasha to denigrate you to my face... well, it seemed you needed someone to take the blame. I don't think my chances of survival are good if blamed, but as your subject is my responsibility to shoulder that risk and dishonor if you demand it."

Princess sighed, and reached over to pet Ava's head, and the ex-noble let out her breath and tension in her shoulders. "That's not what I wanted. Why didn't you tell me about Velt?"

"Even if I had known about Velt, what reason would I have to prioritize her over you? I don't hate her, even after what she did... she voluntarily surrendered herself to your justice, which is not what I expected of a born slave, and you must have felt mercy for her to give her the option of the trial of hands."

Princess nodded slowly, as if considering something. "I was hoping she'd survive that. And I wonder whose loyalty was most in her heart when she made that decision." Even though my eyes were cast down, her eyes slowly shifted to me, and I swallowed.

She slid her fingers under my chin and raised it, and I looked up at her, unmoving except for the rapid beating of my heart.

"Breathe," she commanded, and I exhaled shakily, tried to start breathing again, regain control of that.

My eyes started to unfocus a little, and she gave me a gentle tap on my chin, and I focused back on her eyes.

She smiled slowly. "Now. I've been very gentle with you, haven't I, Sasha? I've given you a lot of leeway let you speak your mind, given you the opportunity to make choices at times, taken care of your needs... is any of that wrong? Do you feel I've been failing to take care of you in some way?"

"No, Princess." My voice was very soft.

"And yet you insult me. You utterly disrespect me. Would you care to repeat those comments you made?"

"...no, Princess."

"And why did you make those comments?"

"I... wanted to reassure Ava that Val and Warden weren't listening in."

"And for that trivial reason, you insulted me?"

Well... it proved her loyalty, in a way, right? But that seemed like the wrong thing to say. "I'm sorry, Princess."

"...I see. Any other reasons?"

"I... was upset that Velt had died. That you had allowed that."

Her hand tightened on my chin. "You think a traitor dying is wrong?"

"I... I think Velt died, but she... was the person who most welcomed me in when I came here, who made it feel like I could live here. It's hard to accept that she's dead now."

Princess shook her head slowly. "You really don't have any fear of your own death, do you? You've never faced death in the eye."

"...No, Princess."

"All right. I'm going to give you two choices. First of all, I very gently kill you." She paused, looking down into my eyes.

I whimpered, and Wren started rocking back and forth next to me a little.

I opened my mouth, but her gaze intensified, and I closed it again... best not to be hasty here.

"Second, you submit to the Trial of Hands."

"Well, that at least gives me a chance at survival... so that, please, Princess."

"Nononononono..." Wren was holding her head and starting to hyperventilate, and Ava reached over behind me, tapped her on the neck, and she stiffened, her eyes rolled back, and she fell over.

I swiftly grabbed Ava's arms, and she stared down at me, but didn't resist.

"Release her, Sasha."

I slowly unclenched my hands around her arms, let her go.

"Wren is fine, Ava was just putting her to sleep. Ava's been trained as an assassin, which is why I needed to be very very sure of her loyalty. You did do that for me, if accidentally, which I am grateful for. She's very valuable and beautiful, and her utter loyalty makes her a sparkling treasure of mine." She stroked Ava's cheek, and Ava closed her eyes, relaxing into it... it felt more like acceptance and the decision of subservience, rather than the ecstatic existential happiness I saw when Princess petted Valentine.

"So why are you...?"

Princess looked down at me. "Can you honestly say you'll never insult me again, no matter what?"

I opened my mouth, then closed it. "I'll... I'll try really hard, I promise...."

She scratched behind my ear, and a little shudder of fear and pleasure ran down my spine. "Such a good and honest girl... but with no fear of death."

"I do fear death, it's just...."

"Everything else gets in the way, because you don't really know what it's like to be on the edge of death, do you?"

"...no." Even when I was utterly at Eve's mercy, it had been hard to truly believe she'd kill me.

"So this is a gift to you." She kneeled down next to me and wrapped her arms around me. "If you survive this beating -- and that's a big if -- you'll know the proper sort of fear to hold in your heart. I do appreciate that you love me, but it's just as important that you fear me, so you don't make this mistake again more publicly, and force me in a situation where I have to kill you to save face."

I nodded, sniffling, then blinked my tears away, looking up at her, confused. "...wait, beating?"

"...yes?" Princess Asperia raised an eyebrow. "Do you really not know what the Trial of Hands is? Eve's been neglecting your training."

"...No. Sorry, Princess."

Ava was sitting next to me, looking straight ahead, but she had stiffened a little at the latest talk.

"Ah. I suppose I can tell you now. Ava, Sasha was once the Hero From Another World. She gifted her body to her Mistress, Eve." Ava's obedient kneeling pose stiffened like a board at this revelation, but Princess kept talking as if she hadn't noticed. "Sasha's extremely loyal and submissive, she just has a bit of an impulsive attitude and wants to save everyone... so we need to remind her that one of the people she needs to save is herself. Ava, tell her what the Trial of Hands is."

Ava took a deep breath. "Essentially, everyone in the harem hits you. Once."

I tried to calculate how many members of the harem there were, and my hands clutched at my thighs hard as I started to tremble, staring at the ground. "I'm... I'm going to die no matter what! Please, even if you don't care about me, I need to take care of Wren and Eve!" Fuck fuck fuck fuck I was so dead and this was going to fuck up everything and I wanted to live and--

My looping thoughts were interrupted as Princess slid her fingertips along my scalp and grabbed onto my hair on the back of my head, forcing my head to look up at her. "It's their decision how hard to hit you. That's what makes it a trial. It can be a light punishment, a heavy one... or death. It's your job to stand up as best you can, and not guard yourself from anyone blows, to prove you're accepting your punishment."

"Velt..." What the fuck had she gone through? Slowly beaten to death, and getting up each time, letting herself to be killed... like Valentine had been with that shit master of hers, a long time back... this was wrong. This was very very wrong, and I was going to die. I started shivering violently.

"I'll have it ready in half an hour-- I don't want to keep you waiting now that you know your fate. Ava, bring her back to your room, and bring her there at the proper time. Dress in a white dress that doesn't expose her belly, I leave the other details up to you.

Ava inclined her head. "Yes, Princess." She wrapped her arm around my shoulders, and stood up, helping me do so as she did.

She held my hand and led me out of Princess's room, and I was trembling mess, trying not to sob.

"You... nevermind." Ava quietly guided me back to her room, and sat me down on her couch.

"You're going to be brave for this. I can give you a drug to cut the pain a little if you want, but it does reduce your chances to survive just a little." Her voice was even, a little distant. "I'm not sure if that's because of an innate effect, or because your decreased reaction to blows makes people think you aren't getting hurt."

"...I... Ava, do you hate me now?"

"It's... been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. I've been trained in how to endure pain, but I'm still recovering from it. And Velt... I did know that girl well, even if I didn't particularly like her. I thought she had finally found her place, but she was still betraying us. And... those words you said about our Princess... if we were both nobles, I would have challenged you to a duel on the spot."

I lowered my head. "...sorry. I... sorry."

"Don't worry about it. You'll be either sufficiently punished or dead within the hour. Is there anything you want in the meantime?"

"...can I... can you hold me, Ava?"

She was silent for a long moment, then nodded, and sat down on the couch, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me very close. I turned and clung to her, trembling slightly. "I... I'm going to die, aren't I?"

"I don't know. You did a grave crime, but before that, slaves have thought highly of your actions, overall. Someone dealing the killing blow to you probably risks their life, given how protective I've heard Eve is... I can't believe the Princess's fiance has the soul of an animalfolk."

I blinked and stared at her. She looked back to me. "Don't get me wrong, I know animalfolk are living creatures too, and I hold them no ill-will... but being the fiance of the symbol of our kingdom, our future queen, even if it's in another body... it's far worse than merely scandalous. Why did you give your body to Eve, exactly?"

"I... she... well, you see... it's complicated," I finished, settling on a non-answer.

Ava didn't reply just squeezing me a bit tighter, and I relaxed into it.

"I... well, after I accidentally caused the downfall of Wren's family, I realized that I didn't know how to wield my power. Moving fast, killing things, sure... but not the repercussions. I sort of... offered my body to Eve, and she accepted, and she switched our bodies... if I die from this, Mistress and Princess are going to try to kill each other, probably."

"...that would be bad," confirmed Ava after a moment. "I suppose we just need to do what we can." She slid away from me, petting my head a bit absently. "I'm going to go find a dress, you strip. We should get you looking as nice as possible."