Chapter 33: Lady Sif

A/N: This chapter wound up a lot longer than intended lmao.

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Sif was starting to feel abandoned. This was not a good feeling, especially since she was no damsel in distress or hapless maiden in need of rescue. She was Lady Sif, an Asgardian Warrior in her own right.

And yet… months had passed since Thor’s departure from Midgard. Months instead of the weeks he had promised before he would return. She had been stranded here all this time, unable to return home.

Of course, Sif knew why this was. Heimdall and Thor had been kind enough to update her on what had happened on Asgard after Thor and the Warriors Three had returned. A titanic fight between Thor and Loki, who it turned out was Jotun of all things, had resulted in Thor being forced to destroy the Bifrost so that Loki could not use it to destroy an entire world.

In the end, Sif understood. She understood why Thor had to do what he did, just as she understood why the All-Father, despite his immense power, could not just bring her back to Asgard without using quite a lot of energy. Instead, the Bifrost was currently being repaired and Sif would have to wait on Midgard until they could bring her home again. Irritating? Yes. But by all accounts, she was welcome in the house of Thor’s Midgardian shield-brother, Tony Stark, so it wasn’t like she didn’t have anywhere to stay or resources to rely on.

Still… Sif had reached the end of her rope. Midgard was such a strange place after centuries away. The Midgardians, or ‘humans’ as they call themselves, had changed dramatically in the last few hundred years. And Sif… Sif was a little fed up with it.

Reaching the living room, she finds Tony Stark and his lady wife Pepper Stark enjoying a quiet moment together. Things have not yet reached the point of hot and heavy, but if allowed to, they would probably go in that direction with a little bit more time. Sif nips that in the bud right off the bat by barging in and clearing her throat to draw their attention.

“Lord Stark. I would spar with you.”

Planting her hands on her hips, Sif looks at Tony challengingly, almost daring him to try and deny that he has the strength and speed to give her a good fight. They both knew that she knew better than that by this point. Not only had she felt his true strength through the handshake they’d exchanged when they first met… but also, she’d wound up striking up an unlikely friendship with the man’s wife, Pepper.

It had been Pepper who had approached Sif, in truth. At first, Sif hadn’t been sure what the two of them even had in common. Pepper had helped her acclimate a little bit to Midgardian culture, taking her clothes shopping and helping her to gain a wardrobe that would allow her to walk around in public without drawing eyes for her strange attire.

Of course, she was never without her sword, so she still drew plenty of attention to herself whenever she walked the roads of Midgard… but it was the thought that counted.

Pepper had also introduced her to what she called ‘media’. Midgardians, it turned out, had voracious imaginations. Sif had read her fair share of epics and watched a number of plays on Asgard, but most of the time they were based around real events. The Midgardians however delighted in making up the strangest of stories that they called ‘fiction’.

In fact, Midgardians were so obsessed with ‘fictional stories’ that they even called reality, that is stories that had actually happened ‘nonfiction’. So very strange, that it was the real world that was given the negative modifier in Midgardian Tongue, rather than the fake and imagined.

In the end, Sif and Pepper had bonded over shopping, watching Midgardian media… and most importantly of all, training. Pepper Stark was a busy woman. She was a leader among leaders who shepherded hundreds, potentially thousands of other Midgardians through their day to day tasks. She was not necessarily a warrior, but she was akin to a General given the size of her workload, as opposed to a Master Craftsman with only half a dozen people below them at most.

Even still, Pepper carved out time each day to train her body and keep herself in shape. When Sif first found out about this, she had insisted on joining. At first to satisfy her own curiosity, but then later on because… well, she enjoyed it. Of course, she’d also discovered that Pepper was just as strong as her husband, and Pepper’s workout equipment was designed with this fact in mind. This in turn allowed Sif to make use of it as well with little concern over damaging it.

At the end of the day, neither she nor Pepper had ever acknowledged the secrets between them. Sif had done so out of respect for Pepper Stark and their budding friendship. But as previously mentioned, she was at the end of her rope here. She needed to do something to claw back her sanity, as well as her independence. If she was going to be stuck here on Midgard for the foreseeable future, she refused to dance to the whims of others… and that meant pinning down the mystery of Tony Stark once and for all.

To his credit, after a long moment of regarding her, Tony smiles and rises from his chair, Pepper standing with him.

“Very well. Follow me.”

Sif feels invigorated and vindicated as she trails after Tony, Pepper walking with them. They descend some stairs into the man’s laboratory, where Sif has learned he works on his projects and his inventions, constantly creating new things. Some of which Pepper then sells to other Midgardians, and some of which never sees the light of day.

However, Sif is surprised when Tony leads them to the back of the laboratory and presses his hand into a seemingly innocuous grey wall. All of a sudden, the wall opens up revealing an elevator and Sif finds herself stepping onto the lift with Tony and Pepper Stark, a little nonplussed by the trip.

All she wanted was a spar. Where were they going, exactly?

Finally though, they reach their destination and Sif immediately understands why they have taken this journey. They’ve gone deep beneath the earth and entered into a strangely manufactured cavern… one that from the look of things, is made for exactly what she has in mind.

“… Can we fight at full strength here?”

Looking at her somewhat amused, Tony chuckles.

“Supposedly, yes. The room is as tough as I could make it with available materials. Would it hold off a Hulk? Probably not. Will it hold off an Asgardian? Well, I guess we’ll find out.”

Sif narrows her eyes at that. She knows he’s baiting her, trying to get her to ask what a ‘Hulk’ is. But she won’t fall for it. She won’t let him distract her. Nodding sharply, the Asgardian Warrior removes her shield and sword and places them aside, before beginning to do the same with her armor.

“Hand to hand first, I should think.”

“Alright then.”

Tony isn’t wearing any armor himself, but he does take off his outer shirt so he only has the undershirt and his pants on. Soon enough, the two of them stand across from one another, with Pepper watching from the sidelines. The red head doesn’t look overly worried or concerned, but she does call out to them as they size one another up.

“Let’s not test this room’s actual limits, please. Because if you’re doing that, it means you’re trying to seriously harm each other, and I’d rather not see my husband or new friend spilling too much of one another’s blood tonight. Am I understood?”

Sif scoffs but also gives Pepper a smile and a nod, recognizing the voice that the other woman is using as her authoritative voice. Tony chuckles and flashes Pepper a grin.

“Your word is my command, Mrs. Stark.”

Pepper flushes a little bit but then grins back.

“And don’t you forget it, Mr. Stark.”

Sif is jealous of the relationship the two have. She’s woman enough to admit that. Not only are they clearly deeply in love, they’re also so secure in their relationship that they routinely invite other women into it as well. Sif has caught them with these other women a couple times now, though of course she’s never stayed to watch. She’s not some pervert. Still, she only wishes she had love like the love they share.

Tony brings his hands up into fists, a classic stance that keeps his arms in close to protect his face and upper body. Sif also brings her hands up, even as the two of them begin to circle one another, looking for openings.

After a moment, Sif lunges forward, only for Tony to snake out around her strike and launch one of his own. From there, they exchange blows rapidly. Most don’t land of course, or they land on arms or are deflected by palm strikes. Either way, they’re soon falling into a comfortable rhythm.

Once they’re sparring in earnest, Sif finally speaks.

“I have been approached by what feels like dozens of Midgardians about spying on you, Tony Stark.”

Tony blinks at that, and then offers an apologetic smile.

“Sorry. Comes with the territory, I’m afraid.”

Sif narrows her eyes. He’s not even remotely surprised.

“I have also been approached by those who wish to poison me against you. Who have nothing but ill things to lay at your feet.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty par for the course as well.”

“Some have even tried to tempt me away from you with promises of wealth, power, and fortune. Some have told me that I could do better than whore myself out to ‘Tony Stark and his vulture wife’.”

That gets a wince from Tony and a hiss from Pepper, who of course is listening in from the sidelines. Sif offers a content smile as she tilts her head to the side.

“Do not fret. The one who said that last bit is missing quite a few teeth now. I would not let anyone impugn the honor of my new friend.”

Tony grunts, while Pepper nods appreciatively. Sif and Tony’s spar continues apace. For a moment, silence reigns and then Tony sighs.

“We know about all of those attempts, of course.”

Sif hums, having thought as much. She starts to nod her head, only to freeze up when Tony continues on.

“And of course, there have been the efforts to procure you through less kind means as well.”

What? Sif stiffens and would have taken a blow across the jaw for her inattention if Tony hadn’t pulled his punch at the last second. They pull apart for a moment, with Tony sighing again when he sees her reaction.

“As far as the movers and shakers of this world are concerned, you’re the first alien to stay on Earth for an extended period of time in quite a while now. They want to study you. Hell, if they could I suspect they’d try to dissect you. Stark Industries has been holding them off. Even the nicer ones would still lock you in a cell so they could scan you and test you and experiment on you to their heart’s content. The only real difference between them and the ‘bad guys’ would be the invasiveness of their procedures.”

Sif would be lying if she said she understood everything Tony was saying. But she understands enough to pick up the rest through context clues alone.

“… There are truly that many snakes here on Midgard? And you have been keeping me in the dark about these threats?”

Tony just shrugs again.

“It’s par for the course, really. Look, even I’m not informed about the majority of the attempts on our lives or freedom at this point. JARVIS has gotten very good at nipping the worst of them in the bud at this point without me or Pepper having to ever know.”

That was… Sif’s eyes glance at the ceiling, where she knows the Starks’ ever present servitor undoubtedly lurks.

“I see. You have my thanks, JARVIS of House Stark.”

“It is my duty, my privilege, and my honor Lady Sif. A friend of Mrs. Stark is a friend of the house.”

Turning her gaze back to a grinning Tony, Sif frowns.

“Is that what you are, Stark? Are you not of this world and the Midgardians just don’t know it?”

Tony pauses at that for a moment before shaking his head.

“No. Though I could see how you got that idea. Pepper and I were both born completely human. Or Midgardian, rather.”

Narrowing her eyes at that, Sif grunts.

“Prince Thor referred to you as a hidden king. He said that you were in hiding because the majority of Midgard has adopted a new government system known as ‘democracy’ and would hunt and kill you if they knew you for what you really were.”

Sif tilts her head to the side. She had thought Thor rather silly at first, but now after all she’s seen… it’s strange, she can almost picture it. Tony Stark and Pepper Stark reminded her quite a bit of King Odin and Queen Frigga. Not in the sense that they were equal to Asgard’s Monarchs in any way, shape or form… but rather, the similarities lay in the amount of power Tony and Pepper wielded in a number of different manners.

Ultimately, at the end of the day, to be Asgardian was to be strong. But everyone knew that the Royal Family of Asgard were even stronger than the average Asgardian. Perhaps that was where Thor had gotten this idea that Tony Stark was a ‘hidden king’. Because even though he and Pepper were still ‘human’, they were far stronger than most other humans.

“Is this the case? Do you hide your true nature for fear of persecution because of your royal lineage?”

Tony and Pepper share a long look at that and Sif begins to smile, thinking she’s finally gotten it. However, then Tony shakes his head.

“Almost… but not quite. It’s not our lineage that makes us special, Lady Sif. Rather, it’s modifications that we made to our bodies through science. However, you’re still essentially right. If the rest of Midgard was to know exactly how strong, fast, and durable we truly were, they would most definitely persecute us. The same people who have been trying to take you to experiment on you would redouble their efforts to do the same to us… and if enough people found out about us, public opinion itself might turn against us.”

Hm. Now Sif thinks she begins to understand. Modifying one’s body was… hard for her to wrap her head around, but to be fair she had always been Asgardian and thus the pinnacle of the Nine Realms. It made sense that Midgardians, often times regarded as the weakest creatures in the Nine Realms in both mind and body, would try to better themselves.

Even still… Sif grunts.

“I will be blunt, Tony Stark. I would join you and your lady wife in bed, as I have seen others do.”

Tony raises an eyebrow at that, but Sif simply plows on ahead.

“However, I am loath to submit myself to a man weaker than me… and even for all your modifications, you are still weaker than me. However, you clearly are not the sort of man who would bend in bed either. Your lady wife, yes. But you… no, you are a domineering force both in and out of the bedroom.”

To his credit, the Midgardian man recovers quite quickly from her blunt honesty. Then, he smiles crookedly.

“And how are you so sure that you’re that much stronger than me?”

Sif scoffs and puts on a burst of speed. She appears before Tony Stark in a flash and even though he registers her movement, an impressive thing by Midgardian standards, he still can’t stop her from burying her fist in his gut. She pulls the punch for Pepper’s sake of course, not wanting to blast a hole right through his back. But the blow still sends Tony to his knees.

Taking a step back, Sif watches as Tony Stark recovers rapidly from the debilitating strike, rising back to his feet in mere moments.

“You heal injuries far quicker than I do, Tony Stark. But as an Asgardian, I am still faster and stronger than you.”

Tony hums as he considers her words for a moment.

“… Yeah, I can see that.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Sif huffs.

“So then you see the impasse we are at. How should we settle this?”

Grinning, Tony glances to Sif’s armor, sword, and shield.

“Arm yourself and let’s go at one another full tilt. Winner bends for the other in bed. Simple as that.”

Sif’s eyes widen. He wants to fight her in her full Asgardian Equipment? With what armaments?! Sif looks around, trying to see where he might be hiding his own armor and weapons. But… she sees nothing.

“You are unarmed, Stark. It would not be fair.”

And yet, Pepper looks unbothered by this development. She knows something Sif does not. Tony, meanwhile, just scoffs and waves her off.

“Worry about yourself, gorgeous. Go and get ready your way and I’ll get ready my way.”

… He definitely did that on purpose, but it doesn’t stop Sif’s blood from boiling at the use of gorgeous. Pointing a finger at Stark, Sif growls.

“After I beat you within an inch of your life, I will endeavor not to enjoy your head between my legs as I kiss your lady wife TOO much.”

Then, she whips around and makes her way over to her set aside equipment, strapping it on in record time and gathering up her sword in shield. It’s as she’s strapping her shield to her arm that Sif catches a glimpse of Stark out of the corner of her eye… and has to do a double take. Whipping fully back to the man, Sif stares with her mouth wide open in shock.

“Careful, you’ll catch flies like that, darling.”

It’s Tony’s voice that comes out of the suit of armor that the man is suddenly wearing. It’s just… where did the armor come from?! As if thinking she believed him to be a cheat, the helmet suddenly pulls back much like the Destroyer’s face would open up, revealing Tony within the suit.

“Still me in here, promise. You ready to get your ass kicked, Lady Sif? Or do you just want to give up now, get down on your hands and knees, and crawl over here to lick my boots?”

Oh… oh, she knows he’s just engaging in pre-battle banter. But damn if he isn’t good at getting her blood roaring in her ears. Stomping back into the center of the room and standing across from Stark, Sif takes a moment to catalogue his armor. It’s… honestly like nothing she’s ever seen before in all of the Nine Realms.

“Where did you get such exquisite armor, Stark?”

Tony preens.

“I made it of course. Like it that much, do you?”

Sif flushes but has never been one for dishonesty.

“Your craftsmanship gives even the Dwarven Blacksmiths and Forgemasters of Nidavellir a run for their money. I have rarely seen something so well put together. That said… armor is only as strong as the material it is made out of. Do you really think that my sword will not part you pretty tin can like butter?”

Chuckling, Tony raises his armored hands and makes a come hither motion.

“Let’s find out, shall we?”

Sif doesn’t need anything more than that. She launches herself forward with her sword raised to come down on Tony’s left shoulder. A disabling strike, but nothing too life threatening. She could stop from cleaving the entire man in two if his armor can’t stand up to her.

Tony raises an arm to meet her strike… and a shield suddenly forms along the forearm, taking Sif by surprise. But what takes her even more by surprise is the way her sword strikes the metal… and then rebounds without leaving a single mark, her entire body thrown back by the reverberations, as though the energy behind her blow… had been turned against her.

Sif lands on her feet of course, she’s too good of a warrior to fall on her ass even when surprised. However, she does pause for a moment, her eyes glittering as one of her questions is answered.

“Vibranium. Your armor is made of Vibranium.”

Tony tilts his armored head to the side at that.

“Well now. I suppose it IS a space metal, isn’t it? So it makes sense that Asgard would know about it. Tell me, Lady Sif… how does Vibranium measure up against your sword?”

It measured up quite well, actually. It measured up so well in fact that Sif feels her blood pumping even harder as a wide grin spreads across her face.

“Finally, a worthy opponent on this mud ball.”

“Hey now. I feel like I should be a little offended on behalf of Earth for-!”

“Our battle shall be legendary!”

As Sif charges at Tony again, she thinks she hears Tony mutter something about ‘when she got the time to watch Kung Fu Panda’. She pays the man’s ramblings no mind, instead battling him and his Vibranium Suit of Armor with all her strength and skill as a warrior.

One way or another, they and Pepper Stark would wind up in bed after all of this. All that remained to be determined would be who was on top and who was on bottom.

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A/N: I figure even an ES3-empowered human isn't quite as strong as an Asgardian Warrior yet... though they do heal a lot faster.

However, put that ES3-empowered human in a suit of Vibranium Nanotech Iron Man Armor and suddenly...