Chapter 121: Chip Thief
A/N: 121 chapters in and we finally get to those rascals on the other side of the galaxy.
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“Guys come on. How many times do I have to say it? If you eat the last of the chips, just order us a few new bags. You do NOT blow some air back into the empty bag and then reseal it to make it look like we still have more chips! Fess up, who did it?”
Peter Quill’s exasperated voice rings out through the Milano as the rest of its inhabitants are all silent for a moment. Until…
“It was not me. I am on a diet.”
Turning to Drax the Destroyer, Peter just stares at the Kylosian for a moment.
“A diet.”
Holding his head high, Drax stands his ground.
“Yes.”
“Drax, in the past two years I’ve known you, I’ve seen you eat all manner of things. And not once has your body ever changed shape. Not a single damn time.”
Before Drax can reply, Rocket pipes up.
“Well, you know it wasn’t me. Seeing as SOMEONE keeps putting the chips on the top shelf in the kitchen. Assholes.”
Bringing his fingers to the bridge of his nose, Peter rubs at them.
“Rocket, you can’t threaten to shoot and kill everyone who comments on your height and species, and then use said height as an excuse for why you can’t be guilty. Besides, we all know you climb up on the counter whenever you want in order to reach the higher cabinets. We’ve seen the tracks.”
“Tracks huh? You calling me an animal, Quill?”
“I am Groot.”
“Oh don’t try to play that card, Groot!”
“I am Groot!”
“Likely story!”
Peter claps his hands together, silencing the pair.
“Guys! Come on, someone did this. The empty chip bag didn’t just reinflate and seal itself! Do I have to get Mantis to go around and find the guilty party?!”
As the bug-eyed empath in question blinks at being mentioned, hesitantly smiling as she receives everyone’s attention, another voice calls out all the way from the pilot’s chair.
“That doesn’t seem like it would work any better than last time, Peter. She's an empath, not a mind reader. For Mantis to be able to figure out who did it, the culprit would have to feel guilty in the first place.”
And they all knew how likely that was, given just who the crew of the Milano was made up of. Peter groans as he covers his face with his palm.
“Thanks, Gamora! I was bluffing, but I guess that’s off the table now!”
As all of this good-natured bickering continues, one remains silent, watching from the sidelines with her arms crossed over her chest.
Nebula hates her sister and her friends. She hates them all so damn much. They’re all just so… ugh. But unfortunately, she doesn’t really have anywhere else to go. Still, Gamora is right. Peter’s ploy to use Mantis was never going to work to find the real culprit. After all, Nebula was the one who ate the last of the chips and then reinflated the bag instead of ordering more. And she didn't regret it for a single second.
Why? Because fuck all of them, that’s why.
Before Quill can continue his pointless and doomed investigation, however, the Milano’s communications bank suddenly chimes with an incoming call. Cursing, Peter sets the empty bag of chips he’d been waving around aside and walks over to the console, quickly accepting the call.
“Star-Lord, leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy speaking! How much can you pay for us to save your day?”
An elderly, stately looking woman shows up in hologram form. Just her head and upper chest, though that’s still enough to make Rocket curse under his breath and Peter take a step back.
“Peter Quill.”
“Err… Nova Prime. Wasn’t expecting a call from you… what’s up?”
Lips pursing, the leader of the Nova Corps looks off to the side for a moment before looking back.
“There’s been a break in on Xandar, Mister Quill. The artifact that you and your crew entrusted to our keeping has been stolen.”
Rocket’s cursing isn’t under his breath this time. In fact, nobody reacts well to hearing that… save for Mantis who doesn’t know what the fuck the woman is talking about. Nebula knows though. She might not have been their ally at the time, but she was there on Xandar when these idiots handed over a fucking Infinity Stone to the Nova Corps, one of the least capable fighting forces in the entire galaxy.
“Well… that sucks. Not sure what it has to do with us though.”
By this point, Nebula’s sister has made her way back from the pilot’s seat and smacks Peter across the back of the head.
“Ow!”
“Peter, that’s an Infinity Stone you’re talking about. It has everything to do with us!”
Looking to the hologram head, Gamora crosses her arms over her chest and narrows her eyes.
“Was it Thanos? No… he wouldn’t have bothered stealing it. He would have come to Xandar in force and only claimed it after killing half of your world’s population.”
There’s a brief pause as the less hardened people in the compartment all shiver at the matter of fact way Gamora says this. Even the Nova Prime looks a little taken aback. Nebula holds in the urge to scoff. Weaklings, all of them.
“… No, it was not your father. It was someone else entirely, and the reason I’m calling is because I was given to understand that you, Mister Quill, are a Terran.”
Furrowing his brow, Peter tilts his head to the side in confusion.
“Uh, yeah? What of it?”
“Considering that the King of Terra is the one who managed to slip past all of our defenses and make his way to our most secured vault before making off with the artifact, I was hoping you might be able to tell us something about him. He made audacious claims before absconding with his prize, but it is difficult to separate fact from fiction.”
Nebula’s eyes widen and she shares a look with Gamora at the mention of ‘the King of Terra’. What the hell would Tony Stark be doing on Xandar?
“Okay, so three things. Number One, Earth, or Terra as you know it, doesn’t have a King. Well, it has a few Kings, but none of them are King of the whole planet. It’s complicated. Number Two, assuming that just because I’m Terran means I know another Terran is pretty racist, to be honest. Do better, Nova Prime. And Number Three, I was kidnapped by ravagers when I was like eight and I haven’t been back to Earth since. So no, I don’t know your guy, whoever he is.”
It was rather ignorant of Quill to claim there was no King of Terra in the same breath that he admitted not having been back to it in decades, but that’s pretty in character for the idiot Terran from what Nebula has seen. Gamora opens her mouth to correct Quill’s misconceptions (for the umpteenth time, good lord what does her sister see in him?) but before she can, the Nova Prime speaks up again.
“I might be more willing to take your chastisement to heart Quill… if he weren’t standing right behind all of you.”
What?! Nebula whips her head to the back of the ship along with the rest of the Milano’s inhabitants to find that someone has indeed snuck on board without any of them noticing. A Terran man in full Power Armor matching the last known description of Tony Stark stands there looking at them all for a moment before smiling briefly… and bringing up a gauntleted hand to snap his fingers.
The call with the Nova Prime ends with that gesture, prompting everyone to immediately snaps into motion. Well, everyone except for Nebula. She stays back and watches… and she’s glad she does too, because the others all wind up looking like fools.
Weapons fire that might have vented the Milano’s atmosphere is caught in hand-sized portals. Drax’s roaring charge is abated by red strands of energy. Even Gamora’s attempt to remove Tony Stark’s head from his shoulders is neutralized before she can even get her sword within a foot of his neck.
It takes a grand total of ten seconds for the King of Terra to neutralize the so-called Guardians of the Galaxy. Neutralize… but not kill. That’s the only reason Nebula doesn’t step in. As much as she hates her sister and her sister’s friends, the only person who gets to kill them is her. But… on the subject of humiliation, Nebula is more open-minded.
His eyes glowing purple definitely makes it clear that Nova Prime was telling the truth though. He’s got the Power Stone… and from the look of things, he’s more than willing to use it to power his technology. Dangerous. Very dangerous.
“I didn’t come here to fight you lot. So if you could all just calm down, I won’t have to keep treating you like disobedient children.”
“Dude! You’re the one who showed up on MY ship! Who the fuck even are you?!”
Gamora cuts in before Stark can.
“He is Tony Stark, Peter. King of Terra.”
Nebula notes the way Stark sighs in exasperation, even as Peter makes annoying sounds of disbelief and incredulity. But Gamora just explains what both she and Nebula already know.
“It’s true. A few years back, Thanos made a play for Terra, because he wanted the Space Stone. He sent Loki, Princess of Asgard with the Mind Stone in a bid to conquer the planet. She failed in large part because of this man, Tony Stark. Since then, he has been recognized as King of Terra by the All-Father, Odin Borson, King of Asgard and Ruler of the Nine Realms. It doesn’t get much more official than that.”
Groaning from where he’s still pinned to the floor, Peter scoffs.
“Yeah? And what does the President of the good ole US of A think about that, huh?”
Gamora looks confused, while Tony just smiles.
“Both the last guy and the latest guy understand that times change. But I’m not here for that.”
Nebula watches as Peter just looks more confused, while Gamora suddenly looks pale and afraid. More than she’s ever seen her sister look before.
“… You hold three of the six Infinity Stones on your person, Stark. Not just Power, but Space and Reality as well if I’m not mistaken.”
Wait, what? Nebula looks again and internally kicks herself for not seeing it. Damn it all, but it was so obvious in hindsight. The blue portals, the red tendrils. Damn her sister for always having keener eyes, even despite their father literally replacing Nebula’s with cybernetics that SHOULD have been superior. But for all that Nebula had amazing eyesight, it didn’t matter if she wasn’t capable of making the same connections that Gamora did without even a single ounce of cybernetic enhancement…
“Hm, not bad. You’re correct.”
“Holy shit. How many units is all of that worth?”
Rocket’s whispered greed aside, Nebula finds herself focused on the byplay taking place between her sister and the King of Terra. Gamora is growing tenser and tenser, and Stark is looking more amused by the second.
“… Are you trying to complete the set then? Why are you here, Stark King?”
Tony hums, pausing for what seems to be dramatic effect.
“I’m here… because I need… your sister.”
Gamora had been growing tenser with every word, and at the start of ‘your’, she’d looked positively terrified. And then he finishes with ‘your sister’ and Gamora just looks downright confused… as Stark turns to Nebula and points at her. Nebula blinks, also a little confused. For a second there, it looked like the King of Terra was about to say he was there for Gamora. It certainly seemed as though that was what her sister was afraid of. But instead…
“Her?”
“Me?”
Nebula finally breaks her silence, narrowing her eyes as she takes a step forward. Stark just smirks.
“Yep! I’m planning on killing Thanos. Thought you might want in.”
A jolt goes through Nebula’s entire body at those words. She ached to agree immediately. She ‘wanted in’ very much. At this point, Nebula’s most heartfelt desire was to kill her father. In fact, ever since she’d found herself traveling with the Guardians, and ever since that idiot Quill had been forced to kill HIS father two years ago, Nebula had been contemplating it.
It was no easy thing though, which was why she hadn’t pulled the trigger just yet.
“I too ‘want in’! It was Thanos’ armies that Ronan the Accuser led when he massacred my people and killed my wife and daughter.”
Drax’s outburst takes Stark’s attention for a moment… or it seems to. Gamora makes another attempt at attacking the King of Terra the instant that he’s looking away from her general direction, only to get smacked down again. Without even looking at her, Tony Stark gazes at Drax’s restrained form.
“… Sorry buddy. My condolences for your family, truly… but you’re not part of the plan. You’ll just have to be satisfied with the knowledge that he WILL die… so long as Nebula here is up to the challenge.”
Drax doesn’t take that well, forcing him to be gagged on top of being restrained. Nebula, meanwhile, finds herself the only person on the Milano besides Tony Stark who ISN’T restrained at the moment. Taking a step forward, she frowns.
“What exactly does someone of your power need me for, Stark?”
Chuckling, the King of Terra shakes his head.
“All the power in the world is meaningless if you can’t find the bastard you want to use it on. Your daddy has gone to ground and is hiding himself from most conventional methods of location. However, that doesn’t matter for you, does it? Papa Thanos is all too sentimental. He left a signal in your head… a way to always find your way back to him if need be.”
Nebula’s eyes widen. How does he know-? No, it doesn’t matter. Because he’s right. Though she doesn’t necessarily agree that it has anything to do with sentiment. Rather, it’s just one more insult laid at her feet by her so-called ‘father’. Amidst all of the alterations he’d had made to her body, all of the parts he’d ‘upgraded’, Thanos had also installed a reverse tracking device of sorts.
She could always find her father. No matter where he went in the galaxy, she knew she would be able to locate him, to go to him… to return to his side. Or to try and assassinate him, once and for all. Nebula knew that last one was the thing she’d been working up to for the past two years. But now… well, now it seemed like there was another option to reach her vengeance.
“Nebula, no! You can’t possibly be thinking about going with him! It’s suicide!”
Looking to her restrained sister, Nebula blinks… and then scoffs. Gamora’s words have the opposite effect of what the other woman intended. Rather than making her second guess herself, all it does is make her realize she’s wasted the past two years on nothing. Hanging around the Guardians has done nothing to advance her goals or get her revenge. But Tony Stark…
“Very well. I will go with you and hear what you have to say.”
Tony Stark grins wolfishly and with a snap of his fingers creates another, larger portal of swirling dark blue energy.
“Wonderful. Let’s be on our way then and I can tell you all about my plans.”
Nebula nods, as she follows him through the portal. Behind her, she hears her sister cry out in anger, and the sounds of the Guardians all scrambling to their feet as their restraints dissolve… but there’s nothing they can do. The portal closes before any of them can react. Then, it’s just Nebula and Stark as the King of Terra tells her exactly how he’s planning to stop Thanos, and what he needs her to do in order to make sure their plans succeed.
It’s not quite what she was expecting… but she will do anything to see her father dead at her feet. Absolutely anything at all.
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A/N: Hm, how'd I do with aping the Guardians' particular brand of comedy? And yes, we don't know yet what Tony's plans involving Nebula are. Only that in a previous chapter he revealed that he's been reluctant to implement them. I wonder why