Internal Conflicts

So her name is Alice. From now on I will live with them. Maybe, just maybe, it won't be so bad...

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And once again my clinging side - I decided to name it this way since it would be boring to say 'my side that feels this inexplicable closeness' every time - took over. Honestly, I don't know what to do, I know I've already said this, but it's really not out of my head, this fight of 'personalities' is driving me crazy.

You might think something like 'it's simple to solve this,just pick a side and that's it or just try to merge the two personalities',but it's not that simple,do you think I haven't tried that already? These two personalities are like fire and water,no matter how hard I try,they can't coexist side by side without one affecting the other,let alone merge them,and if I try to choose just one,it won't work,there's no way I can just erase my personality overnight,just change it and that requires time or a drastic situation that affects my emotions a lot.

And it's driving me crazy,I don't know what to do,and it's not like I have someone to vent it all to since I can't even talk.

Well,but trying to put this conflict aside,I am now on my mother's left arm,with Alice on my right,while she plays and interacts with us despite being visibly tired,this has earned me several compliments to her.

While we were playing and interacting,I felt my body - more precisely my stomach - start to ask for something.

Simply put, I'm hungry. And something I discovered with this and displeased me was that I can't control my body properly, so I didn't know how to make it ask for my...I don't know why, but I'm embarrassed to say this...my milk.

After putting my brain to work at full throttle,the only thing I could think of was to cry,so I started

"Waah waah"

And then my mother and sister looked at me wondering why I was playing happily one moment and crying the next,and as if something came into her head,she asks me

"Are you hungry,sweetie?

Not as if she expected me to answer, it was like when you interact with a pet, you talk to it but you don't expect it to answer you, because it would be bizarre if it did. I think this example could be better, but I couldn't think of anything. First of all, why am I explaining this? You probably understood it when you saw it.

Back to the point, after she said this, she started to pull her breast out of the clothes she was wearing. Before I couldn't tell because it was covered by the sheet,but now that I saw it,I realized how giant it is,it's bigger than my head,but not totally exaggerated,something around the size of a melon,a little bigger maybe? I think so.

But I didn't focus too much on its size,what caught my attention was the small pinkish protuberance in its middle,at first sight I was mesmerized,as if it was the best treasure in the world for me,but not in a perverted way,it was like something I strongly depend on...well,I strongly depend on it,since that's where I'm going to feed myself from today on.

Pushing my head forward,my mother put my mouth on his nipple,as soon as I felt it in my mouth,I began to suck it with fervor. Don't judge me, I was hungry.

Seeing this, it seems that Alice felt hungry too, or was curious as to why I was doing this and decided to do the same thing. She looked at her mother with puppy dog eyes and an unjustified expression as she brought her little head close to me.

Seeing this,the mother just laughed a little and pulled out her other breast for Alice to suck on, bringing a happy smile to her face. Come to think of it,she seems quite intelligent and expressive for a baby.

With Alice starting to feed as well,I start to look around the room once more,and to my surprise I was so entertained with mom and Alice that I didn't even see when the old woman left and left us alone in the room.

And another thing I realized was that I haven't seen my father or had any news of him until now,and it's been at least a few hours since I was born,as far as I can tell with the setting sun visible through the window in the room.

Shouldn't he be here at the birth of his children? Even if he was busy with work or something else, he could have taken the day off, no? Wait, are there at least Fox Rights here? So be it. On the subject of my father, maybe he doesn't care about his children? Once again my guilty and clinging sides clashed. One doesn't care and the other was offended by it. But well, for now this is one less problem for me. I don't want to have to deal with an angry husband knowing that another man...or young woman...has taken over his son's body and is sucking his wife's breast, that would be problematic.

Not knowing my real age makes it even worse, what if I were an old man? Wouldn't that make me like those old politicians or rich people who, despite being up to their necks in the grave, show up every few years with a different young woman? Just thinking about it makes my body shudder, and luckily Mom didn't notice. But there is also the possibility that I am a young adult or teenager, which makes it a little less worse, but for me it is still wrong no matter what age, because I feel that I am taking advantage of a woman's innocence to use her body.

Even though I don't think or feel anything sexual towards her,I still feel that it is wrong. Haah,how many problems I could have solved if I would just accept my attached personality and erase the other one. Too bad it's not that easy.

Trying to put aside all these thoughts that disturb me,I turn my attention to my little sister who was satisfying her hunger. When I look at her, I realize that she was also looking at me, and when our gazes meet it brings a smile to her face. Haha, she's really adorable.

And so,while being suckled by my new mother,I was dragged off to dreamland,to the happiness of my overloaded mind.