(84) Spiritual Reality

Date: ???

After what felt like the best sleep of my life, I open my eyes… And then blink a few more times, trying to open them again. What I see is an endless black chamber with a column of light in the distance. The air feels still, with no particular smell. Looking down, I finally understand where I am. The outfit I’m wearing gives it away - a striped blue and red bikini with a thong bottom that leaves almost nothing to the imagination. More importantly, it takes me back to the last out-of-body experience I had.

Quickly after this realization of mine, a voice echoes out in the dark chamber, “Woah, you got that faster than I expected.” Particles of golden light follow the voice forming into a figure of a pale, mature woman with star-shaped pupils, wearing a divine Greek dress.

Shrugging with indifference, I tell, “What can I say? After what I just witnessed, the other only thing this could be is the afterlife, but I’m guessing you don’t get to pick people’s outfits there.” Who else would dress someone up in a bikini for a serious conversation? I can only think of one.

Her face drops a little as she realizes her introduction is ruined. “Oh well,” the goddess sighs, then asks, “Should we just get to the meat of it? I was hoping to ease you in, but I can see in your face that you’re hungry for answers.”

Giving a heavy nod, I confirm, “Absolutely, Ness.” I gaze out into the darkness and then turn back to demand, “What was that thing, exactly?” I pause for a moment before continuing in a partially joking tone, “Do I just have to accept that when I’m dueling, there’s a non-zero possibility of accidentally summoning a demon?”

She mirror’s me, looking out to the side into the dark chamber, then following a long sigh, she explains in an indifferent tone, “Not a demon, just a local deity.”

Turning to the goddess while blinking a few times in frustration, I ask, “And how’s that supposed to be any better?” I walk in front of her, my arms hanging down at my sides. Facing the goddess, I exclaim, “From what I saw, that thing acted like a demon alright. Human sacrifices included.”

Ness looks up, playing with her long golden hair while her eyes gaze at the darkness. After a drawn-out silence, she reveals, while swinging her head from side to side, “Potàto, potâto, same thing.” The goddess looks down at my increasingly angrier expression and sighs.

With a snap of her fingers, the environment around us undergoes a drastic shift that is incredibly disorienting. We draw closer to the column of light, and I notice a figure that is chained to it. The creature is humanoid in shape, with a skinny human frame that is dotted with draconian features. Its wide wings hug the pillar tightly, and its skin is the same shade of pale-green as the demon I summoned earlier. The creature’s face is human-like, with a nose, small mouth, and big closed eyes, which only serves to make it even more unsettling. What is most unusual is its short platinum hair, which seems completely out of place for such a monstrous creature. As I try to make sense of what I am seeing, my mind searches for a comparison from my earthly memories. The closest thing that comes to mind is the duelist Z-ARC from ARC-V, but deeply corrupted, much like Yuya, yet to an even greater extent. It’s as if this thing doesn’t have a shred of humanity left, if it ever had any.

Thankfully, the goddess seems to be in the mood to give an explanation. Ness holds her hand out towards the column and starts, “This gigantic pillar you see here is, in the best way I can describe in English, a physical manifestation of your soul.” She moves her arm down to the figure. “And that? That’s a naughty parasite that grabbed a ride on it while it was being transported to a new realm.” She looks down at me and continues, “What you did down there triggered the right conditions to call it into the mortal realm. Conveniently also shutting off the mental connection I used to monitor you.”

I stare at the pillar, my eyes opening and closing involuntarily. The statement hits me like a truck, ironic considering the reason for this thing being inside me. I turn to the goddess and ask, “How could I have known that summoning a specific monster would trigger that thing to come out?”

She shakes her head, closing her eyes before opening them again and telling, “You couldn’t… Which is why I’m not blaming you for this.” Her lips close tightly as the goddess’ head tilts down as her eyes become half-closed. Then, in a low whisper, she admits, “This is my fuck up… And now you’re the one who’s going to suffer its consequences.”

My head turns to the goddess right away, my eyelids shotting right up. In a hurried tone, I ask, “What do you mean, ‘consequences?!’ What going to happen to me?!” I look around the room, my face scrunching up with panic as my breathing becomes chaotic. “I’m not going to be erased, am I?!”

The goddess hurries to shoot down the notion, “No, you’re not.” Laying a warm hand on my chilly back, she explains, “Not only would I be an irresponsible goddess if I tried to resolve the problem by sweeping it under the rug, but it would also be counter-intuitive.” She waves her arms around, making the chains holding the figure give off a golden glow. “While that thing stays chained to your soul, it is bound to you, erasing your soul would let it roam free again.”

Cocking an eyebrow, I tilt to my head to the side and question, “I-I don’t understand… If you have the power to, why wouldn’t you erase it?”

She walks towards the chained-up beast, with me following right behind her. While we walk, she explains, “Because it’s a local deity. They’re natives of their respective realms, so we aren’t allowed to eliminate them or purposely seal them - Solus said so.” As we approach the creature, she narrows her eyes and continues in a serious voice, “For most local deities, this isn’t an issue. A cooperative local deity can even lesser our workload in some realms, even eliminate if their own moral code is similar to the Pantheon’s own.”

We stop walking, mere meters away from the creature. “But for some particularly nasty deities, this becomes a problem. They refuse to abide by the pantheon’s moral code and sometimes go out of their way to violate it,” she says while focusing on the chained beast. “This ups our workload massively and we need to go around fixing the problems they create in their respective mortal realms from time to time.”

I take a second looking at the dark entity chained to what I just learned mere moments ago is my soul. “Then… You’re just going to allow this thing to stay inside me!?” I clamor, turning to the goddess with wide eyes.

She stops playing with her hair, closing her eyes and drawing in a deep breath through her nose as I look on in bewilderment. “That’s one of the options,” she says while slowly opening her eyes. Looking down at me with her eyes half-open, she casually reveals, “The other is me transporting your soul to yet another world.”

The weight of her words weighs heavily over me as I start to understand that gravity of the situation. Still, I can’t help but ask about that second option, “Would that erase the creature?”

Ness looks on at the unmoving spirit chained to the pillar. “It wouldn’t, and it would also allow it to break free and cause more chaos,” she tells. “But it would save you from having to live with a rogue deity clinging to your soul,” the goddess reveals with a heavy breath. “You could reincarnate again and live on peacefully.”

…

…

“No,” I don’t even consider it for a moment. Instead, I look on at the creature and exclaim, “I’m not letting that piece of shit ruin what I have now!” With vigor in my voice, I continue, “No matter what I have to do or how much I have to suffer, that thing won’t control me!”

The goddess leans away and looks off to the side, murmuring, “Heh, I still remember the last time I gave you that option…” When she turns back, she looks me in the eye and smiles, “Personally? I much prefer you like this.” She leans back up, eyeing the creature. “Hear that sleepy head?” she asks in a raised voice. “You’re not getting away that easily!”

As I gaze upon the chained entity, my forehead furrows in confusion. Suddenly, its lips curl into a smile as it lets out a loud laugh, “Hahahahahaha!”. Its eyes, with unnaturally green pupils, open wide and scan me from head to toe. The creature’s limp body suddenly tenses up, and it pulls against its chains, declaring, “Oh, you ignorant little bitch. You have no idea you’re being manipulated, do you?!”

Before I can even respond, the entity turns to Ness and continues, “Not only did that goddess murder you for her own convenience, but she also threw you into a random body and gaslighted you into accepting it!” It then turns back to me and exclaims, “And now she’s doing it again! For fuck’s sake, open your eyes!”

…

I look on into the monster’s creepy lime-green eyes, my lips forming into a frown as the muscles on my face scrunch up with a deep hatred. “I did… And what I saw was YOU taking advantage of me!” Yelling this, I stomp towards the creature while Ness looks on, conflicted.

Still, with the monster who threatened to kill my friends, bound and defenseless. I face it head on, shouting, “If you know that much about me, then you know very what my opinion is about what Ness did!” I glance at the goddess, who in turn looks away with a pout, clutching her arm in regret.

The creature scoffs, “Hmf! Oh, I did look into those.” Its eyes narrow and it furrows its brow. “And what I saw were unhinged fantasies which our dear friend over there fueled the best she could!” It goes on with a demented smile, “Really now, a 30-year-old man in an 18-year-old girl’s body, you couldn’t have a shred of dignity to let that happen.” It further narrows its eyes as it continues in a lower, ‘sympathetic,’ tone of voice “But what I don’t blame you for it happening, that’s our friend’s fault. What I blame you for is going along with it! You creepy bastard!”

…

I take a step back, my gaze lowering to the beast’s scaly legs bound by shackles to the column. My eyes close tightly, my forehead scrunching up as a deep anger boils over me. The finger on my hands, pressed against my legs, furl up into fists, and I look up at the delirious creature with a piercing gaze. “Why you—”

But then I notice something. The golden column behind the creature has become slightly discolored, particularly behind its binds, where a deep purple concentrates against anchor points for the chains.

Seeing this, my lips turn to a smile, and my fingers unfurl. “I see,” I utter while leaning away, taking a deep breath in to calm myself. “You were trying to make me angry so that you could try to escape, weren’t you?”

It scoffs again, “Tch, what of it? Doesn’t make what I said any less true!”

I grin, closing my eyes while laughing with my mouth closed. “You've really fallen off,” I say with a hint of amusement. “From saying that there was no one who could save me from you, to trying to get a rise out of me no matter what.” Opening my eyes again, I tell, “Lucky for you, I know just the way to deal with people like that.”

With that, I turn around and walk away.

Seeing me do this, it starts to growl. “Hey! Come back here! We’re not done yet!”

To this, I simply raise my left arm, giving him the finger while saying, “Yes, we are.”

As I’m reaching the goddess, it tries one last time to get my attention. “Oh, come on! Do you really want me watching over every dirty little thing you do?!”

“That’s not happening,” the goddess exclaims, holding out her hand to the creature. An opaque golden sphere materializes around it, blocking off its voice completely. Turning to me, she places her hand over my belly button, gathering particles of light. While she does this, she looks me in the eye, saying, “Good job keeping your calm. To tell you the truth, I thought you were going to lose it there.”

As the light around my belly fades away, a golden navel piercing is left behind. I look down to see two gems adorning it - a red ruby above my belly button and a blue sapphire within it. After curiously touching the ornament, I look at the goddess with inquisitive eyes and ask, “Thanks, but… What’s this supposed to do, exactly?”

She extends her hand out to the sealed creature and exclaims, “That.” Further moving her arms, the sphere turns from opaque to slightly transparent and she says, “It will control how much our little friend here can see and interact with your soul. In practical terms, it means that if you don’t want to, you can prevent that thing from looking through your eyes or even speaking to you.”

Hearing this, I let out a relieved sigh. “Aff, thank Solus. I don’t think I could bear that thing screaming that nonsense in my ear any longer.”

The goddess’ eyes close halfway as she turns her head to the void. “About what that thing said—”

“Ness? Can I tell you the truth?” I interrupt her.

She turns back to me, blinking a few times. She says in an apprehensive tone, “Go right ahead?”

I nod slowly, the sound of my breaths dissipating in the silence of the soul chamber. A smell of nothingness hanging in the air, a calming scent that fills my senses. I stare at the goddess; her face contorted with guilt and remorse, as I try to find the right words to say.

“While I understand what you’re trying to do…” My voice trails off, the words hanging heavily in the air. I take a deep breath, feeling the coolness of the air fill my lungs, before continuing. “To be honest… and I know this is a selfish thing to say, but… I don’t think trying to justify your actions would make anything better…”

I pause, letting my words sink in before speaking again. “In the last couple of months, my life has meant more to me than it has in the last five to ten years. And while I don’t agree with how you did things, or even what you did, it all turned out well in the end.”

I look at the goddess, her eyes wide with surprise, and reiterate. “Again, just because it turned out well doesn’t mean I think your actions are justified… But the original Yuumi passed on peacefully… And even with all that has happened, I am happier now than I’ve ever been…”

The room is still, the only sound a faint hum emitting from the golden light column. I turn to the goddess once more, my heart heavy with emotion, and plead with her. “In this instance, everything turned out well. So, instead of trying to justify the unjustifiable, could we please move on and leave the bad past behind, at least this once?”

The goddess’s head hangs back, and she looks away, going back to playing with her hair. After a few seconds of silence, her eyes inch over to me and she says, “Are you really satisfied with letting me off the hook so easily?”

With a heavy gulp and a light nod, I voice a weak. “Yes…” I look back up at her, pointing towards the piercing “Now, what does this thing do other than mute that annoying creep?”

Her eyes narrow as she goes on, “Right… On a more basic level, it also completely binds it to you, which means that disaster down there won’t repeat itself.”

As she mentions what happened, my eyes grow distant and I look to the side, voicing a weak, “Oh… I see…”

While I don’t see it, I can only imagine she turns to me, as I hear her say, “…Yuumi? It wasn’t your fault, you know?” Seeing me stay silent, she goes on, “You couldn’t have known…”

Taking a deep breath, I inhale the empty scent of the dark chamber and sit down. The floor is cold and hard beneath me, and I can barely make out my own hands in the dim light. It’s a place that feels timeless and eternal, a place I can only assume is the chamber which holds my soul.

With a ragged breath, I pose the question that’s been haunting me: “How many did that thing kill?”

The shuffling of the goddess as she sits beside me is the only sound in the chamber other than the slight whine coming from the pillar. She speaks in a voice that’s as ancient as she is: “I don’t know. They never appeared at the lake of reincarnation.”

I close my eyes, and my mind wonders back to the scene. I can still hear the voices of those whose souls were taken, their screams echoing through my mind like a never-ending chorus. Then there’s the field of husks it left behind… A terrifying display of cruelty.

The goddess breaks the silence, her voice low and mournful. “That thing absorbed their souls to fuel itself.”

The weight of her words hangs heavy in the air. My eyes water as I know that I’ll never forget this moment - this place where I’m confronted with the reality of what my actions lead to. Yet, from deep inside me, something else reveals itself, a deep necessity to know what led to this. It is this curiosity that wins out as I open my mouth again to ask, “How does summoning a duel monster even become the condition to call out such an entity?”

—

Following a bout of silence, I hear shuffling, and this time I look back to see the goddess standing up again. She looks on at the darkness as she pulls her left arm in front of her and golden platform like a duel blade appears. “I have theory,” she reveals. Looking back down, she asks, “Mind if I take one of your cards? It may become damaged.”

“Sure,” I agree, standing up to match her, interested in what she needs one of my cards for.

Nodding, particles of golden light congregate in the goddess’ right hand, forming a blue card with link arrows. She lowers the card on the golden ‘Duel Blade’ and a figure similar to Ness materializes in front of her. It’s Selene, a curious choice for a goddess to pick, but I can see the appeal.

“Now…” the goddess draws on as she closes in on Selene and waves her hands around. The duel monster’s figure evaporates, and what’s left behind is a small dot of silverish light hovering where Selene once stood. Ness moves closer to the orb, touching it with her right hand. “Intriguing…” she comments as the light flickers, responding to her touch.

Looking on from behind at the esoteric movements she makes with her hands, I prompt, “So…? What did you find?”

Ness leans back from the silver flame, still rubbing her chin. “An artificial soul, it seems… Or at least a fragment of one,” she reveals. Turning around to see me looking on with confusion, she explains, “Every being with a conscience has a soul. It doesn’t matter if it is a human, beast, or even a self-aware artificial intelligence. As long as something is conscious, it has a soul.” She moves her hand below the small silver flame. “This is a type of soul you would see associated with a manufactured conscience,” the goddess reveals. “In the worlds I normally see them in, they’re linked with golems or other created magical beings, but since this world doesn’t really have magic, it is safe to assume it’s from an AI.”

I look down, my brow furrowed. “So, wait,” I urge. “Are you telling me that cards have AIs in them?” Then, after thinking about it for a second, I ask, “Why?”

The goddess shakes her head, crossing her arms. “They don’t,” she says. “But they seem to contain fragments of one. As for the reason…” She draws on, her eyes gazing up. “Oh! I know!” Walking over to me, she asks, “Put your arm up like you had a duel disk on.”

Confused, but seeing no reason to refuse, I do what she tells me. With Ness hovering her hands above my left arm, a similar golden duel blade to what she has on appears on top. Following this, a card materializes in my right hand: Yet another copy of Selene.

Ness walks towards the silver flame that is floating in the darkness. With a swift motion, she grasps it and when her fingers unfurl, the silver flame is no longer there. Taking a few steps back, she starts moving her arms in circles, causing the figure of Selene to reappear.

I look on, still not understanding what she intends to do.

The goddess looks back at me and says, “Right, tell your Selene to attack mine.”

I shake my head with confusion apparent on my face and ask, “What? Won’t they just destroy one another?”

The goddess shrugs. “That’s what should happen, but let us see if it really does after I took that AI soul fragment out of mine.”

Blinking a few times, I finally begin to understand what she wants to test. “Right…” I then order, “Selene! Control your energy and attack!”

As I stand beside the copycat goddess, I watch as she draws her bow, effortlessly forming a golden arrow between the bowstring and frame. To my surprise, the other Selene, who stands next to the real goddess, does the same. With precision and grace, they both release their attacks almost simultaneously, sending their arrows flying through the black void.

As expected, my attack reaches the Selene next to Ness first, causing her to shatter into shards of glass which then evaporate. However, the counterattack aimed at my summon looks to go unnoticed by Selene, and the arrow flies straight through her, causing no harm.

Cocking an eyebrow, I comment, “I’ve seen this before.” I clarify, “Back when I and the cheer squad were experimenting with solid vision, there was one time where a projected firework went off out of timing and shot straight at a dark magician girl that Naeko had summoned. But it just went through…”

The goddess nods. “That sounds about right for what we saw here.” Lowering her gaze to the card on her golden duel blade, she explains, “When a generic solid vision object and a duel monster interact, the fundamental laws of conscience take over. Those laws state that an entity with a soul is always more powerful than an entity without one.” Ness narrows her eyes at the card, concluding, “Either knowingly or by accident, someone down there figured out that by including a small fragment of a soul in a projected beast, in this case an AI, it could overpower any other mass projection.”

I narrow my eyes and gaze at the floor. “That… Actually answers a lot of questions I had…” ‘Like why everyone would even bother with these cards when they could just project nuclear bombs and be done with it.’ “Still,” I voice, turning to the golden sphere hanging from my soul. “What does that have to do with that thing appearing when I tried to summon ‘Supreme King Z-ARC?’”

The goddess also directs her attention to the golden sphere and begins speaking. “Well…” She pauses for a moment to think, before continuing, “If that duel disk had the ability to project not only physical creatures but also fragments of souls, then the entity could’ve manifested its soul in the form of a card. By swapping itself with the actual card, like a parasite, it would’ve let your duel disk do the hard work while it enjoyed an express ride to the mortal realm.”

Taking a step back, I look down as a terrifying thought passes through my mind. “Wait… Are you telling me this all could’ve been avoided if I just looked at the damn card I was about to summon?…” I ask as I look back up at the goddess with wide eyes.

Her neck arches up, sighing. “Oh, crap…” Ness yells for what I think is the first time, “You couldn’t have known that card was different!” Then, placing a hand on my shoulder and looking me straight in the eye with her brilliant star-shaped pupils, she tells, “Yuumi, please, stop trying to blame yourself for this! This is my fuck-up! I already told you: there was nothing you could’ve done.” She leans back up, looking away. “Besides, blaming yourself won’t resolve anything. You’ll only give that thing what it wants.”

My eyes gaze at the ground, looking out into yet more void. “I know,” I voice in a weak whimper. “I just wish this hadn’t happened…”

…

…

After a few seconds of silence, I feel someone’s arms wrap around me, heating my icy body up right away. I know it’s Ness. There isn’t anyone else who could do this here, but hearing her comforting voice proves it. “Just relax Yuumi; let it all out if you need to.”

I don’t know if it’s because she’s a goddess, but feeling her play with my hair while her soft hand hovers over my back brings a deep sense of comfort, like a mother comforting her child. Yet, I don’t intend to cry, as I know very well that this isn’t over just yet. I still have my friends to face.

Still, I lean into her soft chest, her silky dress pressing against the side of my head, and there, I let myself relax a little. Maybe even too much. As a little soon after, I feel myself floating away yet again…