Truth and Pain 3
Separating my lips from Kana, She gasped for air. That's the longest kiss we've ever had. Kana look disheveled cause of her constant struggle to get off me.
"Get off! Mmmn!!" Kana huff as she gritted her teeth.
"No I won't." I replied casually. I let my finger push inside her entrance.
"Nnn You are not him! Bastard!" Kana shouted as she spat curse on me.
"Yes I'm not him. However, I have his memories!" I smilingly replied to her. To tell the truth, I felt a bit I'm doing this in a bad way. But, I kind of like it.
"No you're not him even if you have his memories. So get off me scum!" Kana glared at me.
"Kana-nee... thank you for the compliment!" I said with a smile. Yep, I'm a scum and I know that from the very start. Even in my past life, I was scum that only raped wives in fron of their husbands.
I've only forget about my deeds because of how emotional Shido's memories was. I was influence by him and I gain a bit morality despite Shido having an immoral complex.
"It's not a compliment! Just hands off me now!" Kana creased her brows as she endured the pleasure through her body. The feeling of his fingers in her cave as it found her weakness.
"Again, I won't stop." I smiled. I know she like it.
"Why!? Why won't you stop!" Kana asked while giving me fierce glare.
"Eh, isn't that obvious Kana-nee, you are my woman after all." I said straightforwardly.
"Haah! Who's your woman!? You are not him and my heart belongs to him not y-yours to be." Kana said however the latter part she clearly struggled saying that.
"Kana-nee you're cruel. After we've been lovey dovey, now you are going to dump me." I pretend to tear up.
"Me cruel? You are the one who is cruel here! You lied to me! You liar! Get off!!" Kana snapped when I said those words to her. She finally cannot take it anymore as she hoarsely shouted that even made Akane flinched from the loud noise reverberating in the room.
My hand stopped fingering her cave. I stopped my facade.
"Yes you are right, I'm just a liar after all." I sighed.
"See! Don't you get it now you are a liar. You've decieved me and the others! You are terrible! Get off me now!" Despite how accurate her words are. Kana felt slight twitch in her heart when she said that. However, She ignored that because she can't forgive me.
"Un, I'm a scumbag and a terrible man... I lied to you, so it's right for you to hate me." I nodded and said softly while I my heart is so painful. This is my punishment and I'll accept it.
Kana bit her lip when she heard me. She stopped struggling for a moment as she look at my eyes. She realized deep in those eyes is pain, distress and self-reproach. Suddenly, Kana felt pang of regret when she said those words.
Her eyes starting to accumulate tears as it trickle down. She didn't tried to lash out to him anymore. The anger in her mind starting to subsided.
Because she also saw deep within those eyes is love. She can feel his tender love despite opposing his action. She now realized she overreacted, deep down she felt someone is whispering her mind. Call it woman's intuition, What she sensed is that the man in front of her didn't really take his advance seriously. She felt like her was acting and was enduring deep down.
Though, She was not angry anymore. She still couldn't accept her Shido is gone. In the past few days, When she interacted with him, She felt like she was talking to the real Shido. So, This man might not know it but Kana knows Shido's personality, If he isn't really the Shido they knew then Sona and their mother would have already discovered the change but in the end no one doubted him. Even if he say he was just acting like shido, that would not explain everything because of how accurate it was.
So Kana inhaled deeply. She then softly said. "Can you get your hands off me please?"
I got surprised when Kana didn't lash out to me and was shock a bit when her voice became soft and was not filled with anger. In response, I unconsciously remove my hands that was pinning her hands.
I also remove my hands on her slit.
"Let's continue our talk, However, don't misunderstand that I'm forgiving you because I still cannot accept who you are." Kana sternly said. She sat up and move away from me as she fixed her clothing while ignoring the aching in her womb.
"O-Okay." I nodded as I awkwardly sat on the bed with her. Ignoring my soaled hands.
"Tell me who you truly are. Where did you come from and why are you inside my Shido's body?" She said.
Seeing her calmed down... a bit? I also sighed in relief. To tell the truth, I didn't really want to force her however, embarassingly I don't have experience in normal relationship. That's why I don't know how to coax my woman.
Just like I said, my relationship with women is a bit complicated and not your exactly healthy relationship between lovers.
"I'd like to introduce myself again, I'm Kuromori Shin. In my past life I'm an 18 years old highschooler. I was born in Kumamoto Japan. As for why I'm inside in this body, I don't have any explanation to it. Because I don't really know myself. I only discovered that I reincarnated into this body because apparently Shido and I had the same souls." I calmly answered her questions. It's really weird but I ignore it.
Kana listened to my explaination. Then asked. "How did you know that you have the same soul as Shido?"
"Shiroe told me about it." I honestly replied to her. I don't really need to hide it anymore cause I've already decide to tell my love ones the truth.
"Shiroe? She knew?" Kana got surprised the reveal.
"Yeah, She knew. She accepted me who I am when she found out about it. I was relieved she didn't shunned me when she found out, more like she even willing to marry me... As for why Shido and I have the same soul, to tell the truth Shiroe and I is trying to find the answer. Shiroe also knew about reincarnated people, She discovered the common things between reincarnated people is that there souls are the same as their previous owner." I was lost int thought at the first part and remembered my life with my lovely wife in that space for a decade. Then snapped out when I feel my hair stood up, I don't know why that happens but my instincts told me it's dangerous.
"So in other words, just like you said earlier, You are shido but at the same time you aren't him." Kana continued.
I nodded. "Yes that's what it is."
"I know get gist of it... If you are still Shido... then... but, you are not him... aaargh, This is weird." Kana muttered loudly and I notice she was having a trouble accepting things easily. I also get her, If I where in her position then I would also find it hard to accept.
I could only say. "You don't need to feel troubled about it Kana-nee. After all, I'm the same as you... I'm also having an Identity crisis everytime I think of who I really am. Though, I would convince myself that I'm me and no one else, I'm both Shido ans Shin mixed together and resulting of who I am right now. Sounds stupid right?"
Kana stopped thinking as she listened to my words. She find it hard to believe that he was also having trouble. She felt guilty that she thought of him as different person and didn't think about the person himself is thinking. Her heart clenched as she now felt she was the bad guy here.
"No you are not stupid, I'm the one who is stupid. I didn't try to understand you better... I'll forgive you for now. However, please gave me time to think about our relationship..." She shake her head as she remorsefully said. She got upset of herself and became cynical when she thought he only wanted her for her body.
"Thanks Kana-nee. I will also work hard to love you more... but." I said softly.
"But?" Kana felt warm inside when I said that. Then got confused at the latter part.
"I didn't think you will refute when I called myself stupid considering of how many times you called me 'Stupid-Shido'" I chuckle.
Kana thought he would say heavy infliction but didn't expect he would joke around. However, Kana laughed.
"Hahaha, I still didn't forget about it Stupid Shido!" She huffed.
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