Vol.4 Ch.31 – Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Introspection

Chapter 31: Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Introspection

Abigail woke up more relaxed than she had in... god, how long had it been that she'd woken up feeling this good? And why was she feeling this good in the first place?

She'd spent last night singing for the compound, which was a nice way of saying she'd thrown a pity party for herself and then? Right, she'd had that talk with Rachel and... She opened her eyes to see the succubus face to face with her, her tousled red hair framing her sleeping face.

God, the woman was pretty. Abigail knew pretty, knew it in the way you only could when you've been harassed for looking too good, and even to her Rachel was gorgeous. She knew well why most of the compound, boys and girls alike, was drooling over her. But, unlike her, Rachel actually enjoyed that kind of attention. Abigail didn't resent her for that. She wasn't jealous of it, either. Well, not exactly. She wished she could be this calm about it. That she could simply accept people's desires, that she could be fine with knowing what others thought of her. But to her it was always tinged with the worry of whether someone might decide to do something about that attraction.

That would be one benefit to this whole Oath business. If she were that strong then she wouldn't have to worry about that. The knowledge that she could fend off anyone who wanted to take advantage of her would certainly give her a boost of confidence. If only she could get over herself.

She almost chuckled. Yeah, that was the problem, wasn't it?

Last night had been amazing. She'd let go of her inhibitions, lowered her shields and just allowed herself to be vulnerable. And Rachel hadn't taken advantage of it, had in fact spent the entire night lying with her, just holding her, just taking all the hurt and pain she'd let out. Yet here she was, feeling better than she had in several years, having just woken up next to a genuinely beautiful person who had held her all night long, and the first thing she did after waking up was mope and whine.

Although... the self-loathing wasn't as pronounced as it used to be. She did feel lighter, infinitely so. She was still a basket case but she was no longer stuck in a cocoon of self-pity. She could actually see past her own shortcomings now.

She was still furious about the way she'd been taken out in that sparring match and she wasn't sure she could face Jeanne without it showing on her face but she was no longer furious at Jeanne for it.

She was still considering the Oath though, despite Rachel's words. And after spending the night like this the idea of actually swearing the Oath was no longer as repulsive as it had been.

It wasn't that her hang-ups about sex were gone but at least it no longer felt like a transaction to her. And the idea of being with someone who could overpower her didn't feel as terrifying anymore after spending a night with Rachel very pointedly not taking advantage of her.

She didn't know how to feel about it anymore. But at the very least she no longer hated herself for the desire to swear the Oath. So that was a plus she supposed.

For a moment she tried to shift her headspace. Sex wasn't something she thought of regularly. Attraction, if she thought of it at all, was more of something to avoid. She usually dressed in fairly frumpy clothes to deter potential suitors. But right now she tried something. If she did decide to go through with this she would have to sleep with Jeanne and Rachel. But could she?

She'd done it with a girl precisely once, early on in her career, before she'd developed a revulsion for intimacy. So this wasn't entirely new territory for her. She could appreciate a woman's body. And seen in that light there was a lot about Rachel to appreciate.

Rachel didn't look like how Abigail imagined a succubus should look. To her, sex demons would be more like inflatable dolls brought to life, like those bimbo pornstars, lips and breasts and asses inflated to bursting, except all natural. That's what Abigail imagined men liked and that's not what Rachel was at all.

Her breasts were only just large enough to fill someone's hands, her ass a cute little peach. She was a little bit lanky, her arms and legs a bit thin and a bit long. But somehow, when put all together, she looked perfect. Her skin was not a perfect alabaster color but had just the slightest hint of tan and it was silky smooth. Despite having one of the most exhausting jobs at the compound Rachel's body looked and felt as if she spent all day just taking care of her looks. One of the perks of being a succubus, Abigail supposed.

And while no feature of Rachel's body was perfect in isolation the same could not be said about her face. Rachel had a gorgeous face, perfectly symmetrical, her lips just full enough to be infinitely kissable without coming off as too big, her nose small and cute, her cheeks just round enough to give her a gorgeous smile and under those closed eyelids Abigail knew Rachel had the most gorgeous green eyes. Abigail never really noticed eye color in other people but Rachel was different, her eyes sparkling like emeralds being held up into the sun.

Abigail swallowed when she realized her mouth had gone dry and she realized she was breathing hard. Was she actually attracted to Rachel? Ludicrous. She hadn't felt attraction to anyone since...

Her thoughts were blasted out of her mind when Rachel opened those gorgeous green eyes.

**

Kaja had a lot of complicated feelings about her working relationship with Omega, both good and bad, but one of the most amusing parts about being connected at the hip to a man so taciturn you'd think he was constantly upset was how good she got at understanding him even when he said nothing. The man could practically hold entire conversations with her without even opening his mouth, to the point where she liked to tease him by calling him a Chatty Cathy.

Right at this moment, for example, he let out not even a sigh but just a somewhat forceful exhale. And to Kaja it was as good as a running commentary: He was voicing his disapproval of their mode of transport. Because Kaja and Omega were on a trip to the mortal realm in a Gospel.

And Omega thought Gospels were newfangled nonsense.

“Oh come on,” she said, “don't tell me you actually liked going through the Neverwhere every time.”

For centuries the Neverwhere had been the only way to go from one plane of existence to another, a metaphysical, metaphorical in-between realm that connected the different planes with each other.

Every major city, in Heaven, Hell and on Earth, had entrances to the Neverwhere. In Heaven and Hell those entrances were obvious, well-known and heavily guarded but in the mortal realm they were hidden away in back alleys or hidden behind a complex labyrinth of invisible lines around the trees in a park, where one wrong step would force you to start from scratch.

And even then, reaching the Neverwhere was only half the struggle. Because the Neverwhere was a constantly morphing in-between it never looked the same way twice and some of the forms it could take could be fairly bizarre. Oftentimes it was simply a room full of doors but just as often it wasn't. Sometimes it turned into a literal highway to Hell and you absolutely did not want to miss your exit. Because not all the doors were ones you would want to go through.

The Neverwhere did not just connect Heaven, Hell and Earth. It also had entrances to the realm of the Fae, to the pocket realm the Fates resided in and a dozen others. And some of those, like the door leading to the realm of the Fae, could be outright lethal to step through, even for beings of their caliber. After all, it had taken both Heaven and Hell as well as the entire atmosphere suddenly being saturated with iron at the start of the Industrial Revolution to finally oust the Fae from the mortal plane. And they were not happy about being locked up in their own little realm. Anyone could step through the door leading to their plane but coming back out again was not as simple a task.

And with risks like this it was pretty clear why Heaven had wanted a different way to traverse the planes. And their solution had been the Gospel, a troop carrier equipped with a warp drive capable of plane-hopping. Before the Invasion there had been some concern that the warp drive technology might draw undue attention from the Outside but that concern had, understandably, gone out the window after the world was already overrun with Outsiders.

Kaja was fairly sure the Gospel had been a first step in the development of far larger vessels though she'd spent so much time on the front lines that she didn't know whether that research had actually gone anywhere.

Either way, she'd been so lost in her own head that she'd almost missed Omega's heavy exhale.

“Oh Lord, you're actually nostalgic for the Neverwhere,” she said with a chuckle.

He let his index finger tap the side of the wheel.

“It's a change,” she allowed, “but it's safer and faster.”

He didn't dignify that with a response.

“Drama queen,” she said, then leaned back in the cushy seat and waited for him to get over himself and activate the warp drive.

**

Rachel didn't really sleep like a human. She could make herself enter a state of rest at will but it wasn't really sleep. Her body shut down and her mind relaxed but she maintained her awareness, especially the senses she hadn't been born with, the ones that had come with becoming a succubus. And so, when she felt desire focused her way she was instantly awake and aware.

Abigail was scrutinizing her, in a way that wasn't as platonic as it had been earlier. Rachel could practically feel Abigail's gaze raking over her skin, could feel the slight increase in body temperature of the woman still cuddled in to her, could feel her breathing growing heavier. It wasn't the strongest reaction she'd ever caused but for Abigail it might as well have been a tectonic shift. The full succubus whammy the night before hadn't done as much to her as this was doing.

Interesting, Rachel thought. Was Abigail some variation of demi-sexual, someone who could only feel attraction to someone she had an emotional connection with? That would explain a lot, both in the sudden change and in the way she'd considered herself broken before.

If she played this right she might get Abigail to finally open up for real. And so she opened her eyes and found Abigail staring her like a deer caught in headlights. The girl looked embarrassed, as if she'd been caught doing something she shouldn't have. Rachel wanted to touch her cheek and comfort her but not only did she not want to spook the girl but, unfortunately, she still had her hands tied behind her back. She could fix that easily enough, after all she'd tied herself up with a whisper of magic, but for now she thought it best not to.

“Hi,” she said instead, keeping her voice low. She knew her voice always sounded like pillow talk, that just-woken-up husky quality, but it was even more pronounced when she actually had just woken up.

“Hi,” Abigail squeaked out.

“Whatcha doing?” Rachel asked gently.

Abigail's eyes darted back and forth before she took a breath and admitted: “Admiring you.”

“Thank you.”

“What for?”

“Appreciating me,” Rachel listed, “being honest about it.”

“You're not...?” Abigail began. “No, of course you're not.”

Rachel gave her a small smile.

“So about that Oath,” Abigail suddenly blurted out.

Rachel just looked at her. She hadn't expected the girl to ask about that. At least not now.

“What exactly would that entail?”

Rachel could have given a thousand smart answers. In any other situation, to anyone else, she probably would have. But not here, not now, not with her. Abigail hadn't asked about the specifics of a ritual, no. She didn't need to hear about the ramifications, either. She was asking because she wanted to hear Rachel talk dirty to her.

“Have you ever been with a woman?”

“Once,” Abigail admitted, like the number was something to be ashamed of.

“Did you like it?”

“I...” She considered her answer, considered saying more than necessary, then settled on: “Yes.”

“Now imagine holding me tight, so tight, my hand between your legs, working you and driving you wild...” She paused, just long enough for Abigail to start imagining it. “You're doing the same, playing with me, feeling how wet I am for you. We're kissing, making out. You're ravenous and can't get enough of me, you moan into my mouth. We keep going until we're putty in each other's hands, until our fingers and breaths and heartbeats sync up. I can feel your orgasm rising up from your depths and you keep teasing out mine and then, when we're right at the precipice, I push a piece of my soul inside you, giving you a piece of myself, to stay with you for all eternity while you come your brains out for me.”

Rachel would have loved to say the words caused Abigail to spontaneously orgasm but unfortunately they did not. She could feel warm dampness against her thigh. She had made Abigail soaking wet. But it hadn't quite been enough for that. But as far as Rachel was concerned this was already a win. Abigail did have desires and she did have desires for her.

Honestly she couldn't care less whether Abigail decided to go through with the Oath or not. She'd meant every word. Abigail was already beyond useful, even without it. But she wanted to pull the little nightingale out of the shadows. And, truth be told, she also wanted to pull her out of that turtleneck.