47 – Never mess with the mind of a loli

"Well then, let us hear what you have to say. There's no way you can ask something that I can't answer."

"Would you rather have sex with a goat, or would you rather let a baby drool in your mouth?"

For a few seconds the voice completely froze.

"WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!?? That can't even be called a question. Opinions are biased, so choices like that can't even be taken into consideration. Ahem. Please ask a serious question."

Yeah. I didn't expect that to work either. But lucky for me, I can be serious too if he really wants me.

"Okay. Then how about this… How much is 1 divided by zero?"

"Eeeh!?? Are you for real? You can't divide by zero."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why? It's a universal law! You can't gain something from nothing."

"Are you sure? It's said that the Gods created the world from nothing."

"But… but… wait… what is actually zero? Is it a void or an unknown dimension? Or maybe…"

Good. If there's one thing a kid excels at, that's being annoying. Strike one. I put him in a pickle. Let's strike the iron while it's hot.

"Speaking of universal laws, what's outside the universe?"

"... I don't understand."

"I mean, if the universe is constantly expanding, there must be room outside of it so it can expand. So what's outside of the universe?"

"What!? Something like that… but you do have a point… Gods created the universe, so there must have been something before anything was created… but… aww… my head is spinning… these aren't normal questions! Can't you please ask something on a mortal level?"

"I thought you said there was nothing you can't answer. Some sage… but ok. I'll give you another chance."

Strike two was finished. He's flustered and I can tell that his voice is shaking. One last push and this battle is mine.

"Which orange was first? The fruit or the color?"

"Excuse me?"

"If you hit yourself and it hurts, are you weak or are you strong?"

"Umm… well… that is…"

"If a cyclops closes his eye, is he blinking or is he winking?"

"..."

After my 3rd "mortal realm" question, silence once enveloped the room. Until a small earthquake brought us back to reality. And from the ceiling… something unexpected fell down.

"Aaaaa!!"

A loli. From the tree ceiling a loli fell down. She was screaming and holding her head with both hands. She also started rolling around on the floor from left to right, right to left and also frantically kick the air with her legs.

"What kind of monster are you? With so little questions you proved to me that there are stuff that aren't worth knowing. Or explaining. You literally overheated my brain!!"

"Err… who are you?"

"I'm the Great Sage. Although you're kinda putting that concept in doubt. My name is Ruri."

"Hi? Umm… then that heavy voice earlier…"

"That was me also. I reverberated the sound to make it sound scary."

"But… isn't the Great Sage supposed to have lived for hundreds of years? You're a little girl like me."

"Baka. Don't lump me together with you. This is an artificial body I created. Age is something that can't be conquered, so in order to live for that many years, I create artificial bodies and transmute my soul from body to body."

Did she just invent immortality? Regardless, it's hard to take her seriously when she's panting like that. But more importantly…

"So, are you going to bring my girls back? Or do you want me to keep going?"

"No!! Don't. Seriously, I don't think I can handle another one of those absurd questions. I'll bring them back right now!"

She clapped her hands and a magic formation appeared in front of her. Then, similar to how you would push buttons on a tablet, she pushed various symbols on that magic formation. When she finished, a bright light enveloped the room and my girls returned safe and sound.

"Ara, ara… my head is spinning so much." (Shera)

"Was that supposed to be a form a torture? It didn't feel good at all. I'd rather peel off my skin than do that again." (Nier)

"Scary. Everything was swirling in white… I couldn't even tell up and down apart." (Rena)

"Girls! I'm glad you're all ok."

A big group hug is mandatory when reuniting with loved ones. Once everyone calmed down, I once again turned my eyes towards the loli sage. I got closer to her. A small sweat drop appeared on her face and she tried getting distance again, but I didn't let her.

I pinched her cheek.

"Ouch! What the hell?"

"Ooo. It's actually soft!"

I then hugged her and started my cheek against her.

"Hey are you crazy? Let go of me!"

"But your skin is so soft! It's because this is a doll body? Let me feel it more!"

"Get away you pervert!"

"Denied!"

No matter how much she struggled, she can't overpower me. It's not as good as mofu mofu, but her skin is silky smooth and I like the feeling of it. She had no choice but to let me finish my routine. And of course, my girls were giggling and happy to see me happy.

"Aww, that felt great, Ruri-chan!"

"That was weird. And don't call me 'chan'. I'm older than you."

"Nope. You're cute just like me, so I'll call you Ruri-chan."

"Ugh, trying to reason with you is impossible, so I'll change the topic. Is there something you want from me? I assume you didn't come here just to fry my brain and rub against my skin."

Oh, that's right. For a second I forgot why I came here to begin with.

"Well, there are a few questions I want to ask."

"I can't oppose you at this point, but they better be reasonable questions."

"Yup. I'll be serious this time. So let's start with the basics. What do you know of Kwan Kwan?"