Consultation 31.
Consultation 31.
“God, how can I make husbando stealing normies explode?”
I scratched my head trying to think of a mechanism to accomplish such a feat in the literal sense, but I couldn’t think of anything particularly satisfying. In the end, I settled on a more practical method.
“Simply making them explode would result in their death. Don’t you think you’d be letting them off too easy by allowing them a quick death like that after the grace sins they’ve commited?”
“Oh. That’s true, isn’t it? Why would I ever want to let them off with an instantaneous death like that? Sorry, God, I was too narrowminded that I forgot that they deserved fates far worse than death. They need to suffer through hell and face the greatest humiliation. But In that case, what would you suggest, God?”
“Well, whenever you see a bitch stealing a husbando and they are on a date, what you can do is slip the most potent laxatives you can find on the market. I’d recommend one that uses magnesium sulfate as it tends to produce a large volume of liquid stool. You then need to lock the two of them together in a room without any means of escape. That husbando stealing bitch will eventually be unable to hold herself back and fill the room up with explosive diarhea in front of her partner. With liquid shit flying everywhere; the floor, walls, ceiling, his shoes, clothes, and that pretty face of his, the husbando will be traumatized and never want to see her again.”
“The bitch will face the greatest humiliation and will be scarred for life. She may even want to kill herself from the shame. Even if she doesn’t end up killing herself, you can keep tormenting her by following her around in secret and slipping those laxatives into her food and drinks so she’s forced to continually relive that nightmare over and over again.”
“God…”
“What is it?”
“Are you really God?”
“Yeah. Why are you asking that?”
“You seem more like a devil.”
“Hah? You’re comparing me to a mere devil? I’m a benevolent God who answers the problems that plague you mortals. You have the gall to insult me by tagging me as a devil after I’ve answered your question?”
“I’m sorry, it wasn’t an insult. I was just so impressed. I thought I’d need to seek out a devil for a solution, but to think that Gods were this far above devils. I’m honestly in awe of your methods.”
“Tch. The advice I gave you wasn’t anything that great. Now get lost.”
“Thank you, God. I will be sure to deliver God’s wrath upon those husbando stealing bitches. I’ll spread the word of God to all my suffering comrades as well. We will forever worship you as our saviour God.”
“Yeah, yeah. Enough of the ass kissing, more the of the get the fuck outing.”
Winnie the Pooh, furry whore edition. I can't unsee this.
Secret Consultation.
“God, how can I bring death to all people within a capitalist country with minimal effort?” I squinted my eyes to verify I was seeing my client correctly. Their identity was… a furry. A whorish looking one at that.
“You really came here to ask a question with such an obvious answer?” I tried to play it cool. I had to maintain an air of professionalism after all.
“Of course. It’s quite important. I really want to see the world burn and everything and everyone die.”
“I see. Well, it’s actually not too difficult really. It just takes a lot of time and patience.”
“Oh? Does it?”
“Yes.”
“Because of the open nature of capitalist countries, there exist many gaps that can be exploited in the system. For example, people owning their own property is a very big opening that can be exploited as a means to bring the country down from the inside if exploited correctly. If you were from another country and were eyeing a capitalist country, it is the perfect place to start.”
“How so?”
“Well, the first thing you need to do when trying to conquer a country with little effort is to establish a base on the inside and build up a foundation. Essentially, you are slipping a trojan horse into the capitalist country you are eyeing.”
“That isn’t all though, you need absolute loyalty from the people you are sending to infiltrate it. You need to establish a means to control the people you are using to prevent the possibility of defectors surfacing. Such traitors may fuck you over for short-term monetary gain by ratting your plans out to the government or law enforcement in that country. To deal with this, you can brainwash the people you gather from a very young age or use hostages to keep them in check. Once you have these loyal death soldiers under control, you need to get them to slowly infiltrate into the country you have set your sights on.”
“However, at the start, you must do this very slowly. If caught onto in the infancy stages of this plan, all will be for naught. As time goes on and you get more and more people into that country you can start to gradually increase the numbers. Of course, you can’t slip in only people loyal to you. You need to slip in others as well. Why do that? Because as the number of people under your control increases, the other country will inevitably take notice of them.”
“Thus, the ones who have no connection to you that get into that country are a means to an end to keep the people under your command out of the scorching sun where they will be burned alive. Those that have nothing to do with you are trees that your people can hide amidst to avoid being caught. They won’t even realize that they’re being used in such a manner to indirectly aid in your plan. The best sort of help comes from the earnest sincere ones that don’t realize they’re helping you after all.”
“Oh, that’s pretty smart. What’s next then?”
“Once your foundation has been established and enough people on your side has slipped in, you can start founding companies. You will begin to recruit that country’s people to work for you. You will slowly over time make them indebted to you. You can then start to discreetly morph their thinking and mindset on a subliminal level. Ideally, you are to target the younger generations as they are the future of the country.”
“However, just attacking them from one side is too obvious. What you need is an accomplice. One that you can use to divert their attention away from you and even make them think that they can let their guard down around you. A sort of quasi ally country comparable in size to yours would be ideal. The perfect candidate must be someone with similar beliefs to your own. Perhaps a close neighbor would be for the best. A secretive one that is sure to keep them wary and on their toes.”
“Meanwhile, you will also put on a front of being open and accepting of learning from the capitalist way and establish close connections by making them think you’re willing to meet them halfway. In reality, you’ll simply be biding your time to build up your greatest secret weapon. That countries’ own people. You don’t even need to take hold of all of them. You just need a large enough amount where you will be able to divide the country in two, split them in half right down the middle in their beliefs. Separate them so far that they can no longer meet each other at the middle.”
“Once the country has been divided between two extremes where they no longer see eye to eye, they will crumble on their own. Throughout this process, you will begin to build up your own media in that country to spread small sprinkles of your ideals to their people. You will slowly reel them in and gradually ramp up those ideals further and further until it is nearly indistinguishable from your own. Once that is accomplished, you must spread the seeds of destruction you have diligently cultivated within their own people to media controlled by their country.”
“Slowly, but surely, those individuals will work their way up the ladder. Once they are in a high enough position, they can start spreading the whispers of the devil to higher ups. Either take them over altogether or incentivize them financially to invest in your country.”
“With their own media gradually doing more and more of your bidding, you can freely spread good words of your country within their borders. You can then target businesses and large corporations. You will attack them by invading with your people in conjunction with the media. Word of how your country is a great investment will spread far and wide. Labor in your country is very cheap, they will praise. All sorts of seductive sounds as sweet as a woman’s moans in the heat of night will enter their ears. They will be seduced and move their businesses and even willingly hand over their technology and techniques to you on a silver platter.”
“You can improve your own economy while taking away the advantage their country holds with the promise of financial gain acting as a strong incentive. Cheap labor is very desirable to them, while greed is something most of those at the top can’t resist. You’re not only boosting your economy by taking these opportunities away; you’re also gaining valuable hostages. Their factories will be yours to keep them in check. If they lose them, their supply chain would be completely destroyed and they could face bankruptcy once they’ve fallen too deep into the trap.”
“Another benefit you reap through taking these job opportunities away from the people is creating dissatisfaction in the people’s hearts. Before the people of their country grow dissatisfied with your country, they will turn to a target much closer within arm’s reach, the very companies that you set your sights on.”
“There will naturally be some in the country who grow dissatisfied with you, but at the end of the day, they can’t really touch your country. They can only eat that bitter pill. In fact, some people will actually blindly thank you because your hard-working people are producing these products at such a cheap price resulting in the price they pay as consumers being greatly reduced. As such, it will give the illusion that their own standard of living has increased. Thus they will be under the false impression that their own lives have been made easier when in fact it is quite the contrary.”
“With these pieces in hand, the country can be considered successfully divided. However, there is still much more you can accomplish to ensure their demise.”
“Oh? What else is there?”
“Another insidious plot, of course. With people divided, the next thing is to create a target for the side you are manipulating to hate. It needs to be someone who is easy to dislike that can unite your side under one banner. With the media under control, accomplishing this isn’t very difficult. Start off slow and build your way up though. First, pick someone that is charismatic. You will secretly use your sway to prop them up from the shadows by painting them in a great light with the power of the media at your disposal. This person will act as a bobblehead, but he will never realize a thing.”
“Your side will be able to get this person into office and gain control over the entire nation. However, you don’t have full control over him. In fact, you mustn’t have full control over him. He needs to act independently on his own, however, you will still greatly sway his decisions from the shadows with sweet whispers of nothings, tempting him to make decisions that he shouldn’t. Giving him ideas that seem good at first glance, but turn out to be a failure when actually implemented.”
“The other side will grow dissatisfied with him and want to get him out after they have grown to hate him. The divide will only keep increasing and escalating from here on out. When the time comes to elect a new leader, use this person to egg on someone who is an easy target for your people to hate. You can use your accomplice to assist you in this part. They don’t even directly need to really do anything very complicated. They only need to utilize social media to sway the people’s opinions.”
“Meanwhile you will have the media under control to bash the opposition while propping up a candidate the other side greatly detests. This will ensure they all go out to vote. They will remain silent as your side controls the narrative through fudged national polls to make people think your side is is far ahead. Even your side will think that is the case. They will grow complacent, as such, turnout for voters on your side will be greatly decreased to the point the other side wins.”
“When the other side wins your side will naturally be enraged. This is where things get really nasty. Don’t accept the result and continue to have the political party you’re manipulating with those on your side keep bogging down the new leader. Make random wild accusations, they don’t even need to have really happened, it just needs to enrage and confuse the people. The person with the loudest voice writes history after all.”
“Once things reach a breaking point where the raging oil is about to spill, it simply needs a single spark to set everything into motion. As for what that spark is, the best would be an unseen enemy that can throw everyone into disarray and confusion, if you know what I mean.”
“Hahaha. God really is interesting like I thought.”
“Oh? Why’s that?”
“Because you’re dangerous.”
“I’m dangerous?”
“Yes, to come up with such a meticulous plan… you really are quite dangerous,” she said with narrowed eyes.
“I’m just here to provide life counseling, nothing more nothing less. If that was all, can you please scram? This should be enough of an answer for you. Not like you really needed this answer.”
“Yes, I’d never actually go through with something as heinous as all this after all.”
“Yeah, you’d definitely never do something like have your country control organizations to incite or fuel protests and riots from behind the scenes to destroy a country.”
“That’s right, I’d never do that.”
And I was born yesterday. I rolled my eyes.
“I suppose I’ll take my leave then.” She stood up from her seat ready to depart but I stopped her.
“Sure. Oh, wait. One more thing.”
“What?”
I stood up from my seat.
With my head over the divider on my desk, I broke out into a cough, “Kohoh. Kohoh.”
“Are you sick?”
“Of course not, I just choked on my saliva when I stood up.”
“What was it you were going to say?”
“If you were going to use a certain means as a spark, you’d naturally want to develop a fail-safe in case of the worst-case scenario, right? So you might even start years in advance on that fail-safe, right? However, if that kind of fail-safe came out from your country first, it might look suspicious, right?”
“Oh? What do you mean?”
“Well, if your accomplice was the first to say they created that fail-safe and said the only reason they were able to create it so quickly was because they’d been doing research on something similar and they were able to adapt it to resolve the problem that arose from that spark of yours. Well, it might serve as a good camouflage to veil the truth behind the whole ordeal is all.”
“Hahaha. I really have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Right. Hahaha. Sorry for saying something weird. Now, please get the fuck out, you psycho bitch.”
“It was a pleasure meeting you, God.” She said with a sharp snake-like gleam in her eyes on her way out.
Everything I just said was all nonsense I made up on the spot though. It seems she took it pretty seriously for some reason. Sheesh. Learn to take a joke, would you? Bitches be crazy.