Chapter 17-3 (Promised Love)
“Anything you want to do, it can be done. With my authority, nothing can stand in your way. I have the power to turn your desires into reality, to make them materialize before your very eyes. It is within my jurisdiction to transform your body into anything you please. All you have to do is ask me and I will grant your wishes."
So the goddess said, and Soma took her offer with open arms.
—————————…
Folia, similar to Soma, was born and raised in Karda. Her father was a successful merchant who sold goods to neighboring villages. He traveled frequently, bringing home exotic wares that intrigued young Folia's curiosity. As a child, she was always fascinated by the objects her father brought back from his journeys, spending hours studying them and marveling at their intricate designs and functions.
A bright child, she was.
Besides that, she would spend her free time playing with Soma, the only son of her family's closest friends. They grew up together, and their bond was forged over the years. Sometime in their days of youth, the both of them made a promise of love, to someday marry each other when they became adults.
Soma had always been the one person she could rely on, who cared about her and treated her with respect and kindness. He was her childhood sweetheart and the one she loved the most.
But their relationship wasn't meant to last.
Soma left Karda when he was eighteen years old, embarking on an adventure to discover himself and explore the world. He told her that he would return soon and fulfill their promise to each other. Since then, she would receive letters from him throughout the years, updating her on his life and activities.
During that period, they wrote back and forth, exchanging letters regularly. His letters detailed his daily routine and what adventures he experienced each day. Sometimes they even talked about their dreams and plans for the future, how they would settle down somewhere quiet, away from all the hustle and bustle of the city.
However, not even once Folia ever mentioned that she got married not long after his departure. It was six months right after Soma left Karda, her father introduced her to an acquaintance, a wealthy merchant by the name of Milos. She had no intention to be in a relationship with the man, but she had little power to resist.
It was due to her parents' insistence. Her father urged her to marry because he believed it would benefit both families greatly, helping secure their financial status and giving their business a boost. They had always dreamed of expanding their trades to other parts of the kingdom and possibly even beyond it. As for her mother, she encouraged Folia to wed the man since it would allow her to lead a comfortable life without having to work hard for a living.
Folia couldn't bring herself to object. She gave in to her parent's persuasion without much fuss. After all, she knew they were right and they only had her best interest in mind. Though her heart ached for Soma, she pushed down those feelings of regret and moved on. Although the distance between her and her beloved widened, the fact that she wasn't alone eased the pain of separation somewhat.
In less than one year of courtship, Folia and Milos married and consummated their union on the same night. Shortly afterwards, she conceived a child. A healthy baby girl named Rylai. The child was born with golden hair inherited from her mother. She inherited her father's striking blue eyes which made her look like an angel. The combination of two contrasting traits resulted in a truly unique appearance that drew gazes whenever she was out and about.
Folia lived as a mother and a housewife for the past five years. She raised Rylai well, giving her love and affection from when she was an infant till she grew up to become a toddler. As Rylai's fourth birthday approached, her worries and concerns for Soma gradually disappeared as her love for her husband and daughter grew stronger. The bond she shared with them grew deeper day by day, to the point where she didn't miss Soma's absence anymore.
She replied less and less to Soma's letters. Months became years, and her replies ceased altogether. At times she wondered about his condition, his whereabouts and what he was up to, but those thoughts faded away the more time passed. The happiness of being with her daughter and husband overwhelmed her worries for him.
It's not that she didn't want to write to Soma anymore. Rather, she didn't know how to convey her emotions through the written word. She felt guilty for ignoring his messages, especially when he always sent one every month religiously. She figured that she'd give him a letter someday, explaining everything and hoping for understanding and forgiveness. But until then, she was content with how things were at the moment.
However life started to take a different turn.
Since she grew up in a well off family, Folia rarely had to do chores and spent most of her time playing and socializing with other kids. Never a day she would starve without food or struggle with survival. When she married Milos, he hired a servant to tend to the house while he was away on business trips. That gave her even more time to relax and enjoy her life.
Spending most of her time with child rearing or reading books and painting, she never really worked hard before. Her whole life revolved around her husband and her daughter. They were her priorities, and nothing else mattered as long as they were happy. Nowadays though, her family finances got hit hard. A downturn of the economy forced her husband's trade to decline in popularity.
But that didn't make Folia feel disheartened, after all, Milos earned plenty before and he's bound to earn more after he recovers. She trusted him enough to keep their household safe and stable during the rough patch. That faith of hers however, proved to be misplaced.
Soon after her daughter's birthday passed, a new establishment opened in Karda. It was called the Rabbit Hole and it boasted of gambling and entertainment services, ranging from card games to drinking contests, all of which attracted countless visitors every single day. However, their main attraction was none other than the 'adult service' they provided. Hermaphrodite women in all sorts of physique wearing their lewd bunny outfits displayed their bodies to their customers. These hermaphrodites who came from mysterious origins and unknown backgrounds worked under the proprietor who ran the establishment: The goddess, Lady Ginova. She had supposedly used her influence and powers to gather all the girls into one place.
The Rabbit Hole, a place filled with sin and debauchery. Many were drawn to it, lured by the scent of gold and lust. Men who found themselves enraptured by the charm and seduction of the hermaphrodites wasted all of their savings. Even the strongest of warriors who visited the place got sucked into the rabbit hole, finding it difficult to leave.
Like divine nectars, a taste of the pleasure that the hermaphrodite workers offered drove patrons to fall deeper into the depths of vice and depravity. Once you set foot into the Rabbit Hole, you would never leave the same person as before. It was an undeniable truth. The sins that were committed under the goddess' influence spread across the village, polluting the minds of the naive and gullible ones, leading them astray and corrupting their moralities.
Folia's husband, Milos, was not an exception. His addiction to the sex that the hermaphrodites offered cost him a fortune. He frequented the establishment without his wife's knowledge. Every evening after working hours, he would go out to seek pleasure at the Rabbit Hole instead of returning home. Oftentimes, he would arrive home late at night and be drunk. Sometimes he wouldn't return until the next day. When asked by his wife, he would usually excuse himself by saying that he was doing business negotiations with potential clients or suppliers.
Fortunately, she believed him without a second thought. Having trusted her husband completely, she was unaware of his dishonesty. Her confidence that her husband would never cheat on her, let her forgive him without any suspicion. After all, she wouldn't want to taint their marriage and jeopardize her daughter's upbringing. The peace within her household needed to be kept intact.
Little did she realize that the money her husband made was not only spent on business expenses but also on lustful indulgence. The gambling and alcohol alone had cost her half of his annual salary. At that rate, the business funds would run out in no time, forcing him to take out a loan to cover up his losses.
Their family's income took a huge drop because of her husband's addiction to vice. In addition to losing the majority of their assets, she started to notice his personality changing drastically. Whenever he came home, he acted strange. His behavior became increasingly erratic. He yelled at her often and was quick to anger, making her fearful of saying anything that would upset him.
Things spiraled downward as debts piled up while she struggled to support herself and her daughter. Until on a fateful day, someone came knocking on their door. A beautiful young woman arrived at their house, she had blue hair tied to a ponytail and a sword strapped to her waist.
"Is Milos here?"
"E-excuse me, but who might you be?"
"I'm from the Rabbit Hole. I work directly under the goddess, Lady Ginova. Milos has been indebted to my master for quite some time. I am here to collect his payment today. Where is he?"
"Y-you must be mistaken. My husband doesn't owe anyone money. Besides, he's doing his work right now..." Folia claimed with uncertainty.
The blue haired young woman was none other than Sera. She shook her head and spoke, "That's not true. He borrowed large sums from the goddess. He's been using the money for gambling, hoping to win big and pay off all his debt and then some. However, he hasn't been able to repay us at all, even after multiple warnings from our servants. Rather he has been indulging even deeper and harder than usual. This is why I am here today to personally deliver the goddess' message to him, I'm sure you understand what I'm implying."
"D-debt? B-but he's always telling me that he's busy making deals and such... That can't be true!" Folia tried to deny Sera's claim with a shake of her head.
"Unfortunately it is the truth, the goddess does not like people who cannot keep their promises. And since he owes her an enormous sum of money, the goddess demands complete and total payment by the end of the month, or else... severe punishment shall follow." Sera replied.
Her tone remained calm, unfazed by Folia's refusal. "Your husband should've explained all this to you already, you being his wife and all."
"M-Milos... he never mentioned anything to me about this at all... not about the debt or about the Rabbit Hole. I... should have known..."
Sensing that Folia was being genuine, Sera smirked at her before stating her next words with conviction. "Regardless, you cannot ignore my master's words forever, nor can you run away from reality."
Folia lowered her gaze dejectedly while clasping her hands together nervously, "Please don't hurt my family... Please..."
"Hahaha... That's not something you say to me, Mrs. Folia, you are the one who should protect your family from us. Anyway, where's your husband? I'm running out of patience. Tell me where he is. As long as he can pay off the debt, the goddess will show mercy. Though, the longer time passes, the more difficult it will become for him to find his way back."
"B-but he isn't here... He's at his workplace! I swear! I swear, it's the truth!" Folia pleaded desperately, hoping to convince Sera to spare her family.
Sera narrowed her eyes and gave her a cold stare. "And how can you guarantee his whereabouts, hmm?"
"Because he always goes there and does his work, I know it!" Folia exclaimed while keeping her eyes locked onto Sera's blue pupils.
Sera crossed her arms together and looked away disdainfully, "Very well then... I'll let you off this once. I'll visit him at his place of work later... If what you say turns out to be false... let's just say that you'll regret it."
Without giving Folia time to respond, Sera turned on her heels and left immediately.
"......"
Seeing the blue haired woman leave her residence, Folia felt her entire body turned cold. She closed the door and tried to walk back to her room, but before she reached the staircase, she collapsed onto her knees. A loud thud resounded throughout the house as her body landed heavily on the wooden floor. Her hands trembled heavily and tears began rolling down her cheeks as she sobbed.
'Milos... you... you lied to me... I can't believe I was so blind to not see it.'
The news came to her like a slap on the face. She had been ignorant and trusting towards her husband's actions for too long. She regretted not questioning him more thoroughly regarding his whereabouts and work schedule. She regretted not investigating his secret activities deep enough to confirm whether they were legitimate or not.
"M-mommy? Mommy! Why are you crying? Are you sad? Did you hurt yourself? Are you alright?"
She felt tiny arms embracing her waist tightly. Folia lifted up her head slightly, noticing her 4-year-old daughter's concerned face gazing back at her worriedly. Despite her young age, Rylai displayed great maturity for her age, exhibiting incredible concern and affection for her mother. The young girl stroked her hair gently while whispering words of comfort and encouragement.
"Shh, it'll be okay mommy... Don't cry! Please don't cry mommy! Everything's going to be okay..."
At that moment, the image of Rylai smiling warmly flashed through Folia's mind. It reminded her that her daughter relied on her more than ever. She couldn't let her despair now, she had to be strong, she had to fight for her own sake and her daughter's future. For both of them, she would continue to strive forward towards greater heights. Even if it meant sacrificing her personal happiness and suffering humiliation and abuse, she would endure everything in order to provide her daughter with happiness and safety.
After all, a mother's duty was to ensure her child's survival above all else. And Folia would do anything to accomplish that goal. Absolutely anything.
For Rylai's sake.
Tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she embraced her daughter tightly, burying her face against her soft locks of golden hair. Rylai's sweet fragrance calmed her nerves, relieving her stress and anguish.
—————————…
That very same night Folia waited for Milos to return home. Rylai has already fallen asleep a while ago. Time kept on ticking and as the clock pointed to two in the morning, the front door creaked open, revealing her husband staggering into the foyer. He had a glassy look in his eyes and his breath reeked of alcohol. She greeted him with a cold smile, her eyes filled with disdain and contempt. He stumbled towards the couch, collapsing onto the cushions, muttering incomprehensibly.
Her husband was out of it, oblivious to the situation at hand. He didn't notice his wife's fury building up inside her body like a raging storm ready to burst at any moment. Without warning, Folia slapped him across the face, startling Milos awake. He stared at her dazedly, his jaw slackened and his eyes glazed over. She had never hit him before. But this time she couldn't contain her rage. She screamed and yelled at him, cursing him for his betrayal and dishonesty. She demanded answers for his actions and confronted him with the debt he owed the Rabbit Hole.
"You were lying to me... All this time..."
Milos remained silent. He averted his gaze in guilt and avoided eye contact. Folia grabbed hold of his collar and pulled him close, shouting into his face, accusing him for cheating on her while abandoning their household to spend more time gambling his money away instead of providing them with much-needed income. She berated him for ruining their marriage, destroying her trust, and abandoning her daughter. She scolded him for his incompetence and selfishness, blaming him for all of their problems.
As she poured out her emotions to him, she felt relieved somewhat. Her voice began to crack as she continued yelling at him relentlessly. Even when tears trickled down her cheeks, she did not stop scolding her husband for his transgression. She made sure to make him feel bad about what he had done and reminded him that he needed to take responsibility for his actions. She demanded he change his ways and learn how to behave responsibly, promising to support him if he truly wanted to improve himself.
"We can still fix this... We can still get through this together."
Folia managed to utter before letting go of her husband's collar and collapsing to the ground. She cried in defeat, unable to handle the pressure and stress anymore. Milos glanced at her tearstained face. His expression mirrored the sadness and hopelessness she felt within her own chest. The realization struck him hard. His irresponsible actions had caused the family he had once loved dearly to collapse under the weight of his debt. He blamed himself wholly for causing this mess and he promised himself he would do anything to make amends for his wrongdoings. He swore he would redeem himself to her and earn her forgiveness once again.
"I'll change. I promise..." Milos mumbled under his breath before stumbling into his bedroom and passing out in his bed.
That night, Folia didn't get much sleep either. She sat in front of her daughter's bed, staring at Rylai's peaceful slumbering face illuminated by the moonlight seeping through the curtains. Her adorable sleeping expression soothed her troubled mind, easing her worries away. Seeing Rylai's blissful appearance helped her relax and recover.
In that span of one night, Folia's life was flipped upside down. She learned that her husband has been sleeping around the hermaphrodite women in the Rabbit Hole as well as ruining the family's business. The amount of debt he accumulated far surpassed their annual income and it wouldn't be long before they lost everything they owned. With a heavy heart, she knew what she must do. She would go to the Rabbit Hole in the morning and confront Lady Ginova, her husband's creditors. If she couldn't get them to accept a compromise or settlement, she would ask her parents for assistance and see if they were able to save their business.
"I'll do everything I can to protect you... I promise you I'll try my hardest."
She leaned forward, planting a kiss upon Rylai's forehead. She watched the young girl's chest rise and fall in rhythm as she breathed deeply in her sleep. Folia's breathing became labored and her eyelids grew heavier. As her vision blurred, her consciousness faded as her exhaustion took over her body. Before long, she drifted asleep, joining her daughter in the realm of dreams.
In that dream, she saw a familiar scene from the past, buried and forgotten. It was of someone important, someone dear to her.
Someone that she made a promise with a long time ago.
A sweet memory, one that will never come to fruition.
Now it has become nothing more than a ghost haunting her of what could have been.
Yet she held it dearly to her heart, afraid of letting it go.
A promise broken and unfulfilled.
An empty vow.
—————————…
It was futile.
The goddess, Lady Ginova, showed Folia evidence of her husband's spending. Receipts and statements proving Milos' indebtedness to the Rabbit Hole for every single coin he spent there. The amount was staggering, it exceeded his earning capacity, even if he worked multiple jobs. It was evident that Milos had gambled away most of the family's savings.
Desperate for a solution, Folia sought her parents for aid, begging them to take her daughter and give her a better life. But her father refused, stating that they couldn't afford to help. Her mother had little to say, only offering her sympathy and consolation. They told her that she made her choices and they would not interfere.
'It's useless... there's nothing I can do.' Folia thought with defeat. She didn't have the resources or the authority to solve this issue. She had failed miserably as a wife and as a mother. She lost her husband to his addictions and her daughter to poverty. She was all alone and helpless to change her fate.
All she had to look forward to now was the inevitable.
She sat in her bedroom, alone and isolated. Her surroundings seemed bleak and dull, filled with darkness and shadows. Her spirit had shriveled up, leaving her feeling hollow inside. The wind blew through her windows, sending shivers down her spine as her skin prickled with goosebumps.
It was getting colder and colder…
The nights became longer and excruciating…
There was no more hope left…
'I don't want to be separated from my daughter...' She lamented. Tears dripped from her eyes as she remembered the image of her daughter's happy face before the revelation of her husband's infidelity.
'I wish I was dead.'
She wished in earnest, wishing for everything to disappear and for the pain to end.
'I wish I could forget about my life, and live it anew...' Folia closed her eyes and pictured her daughter's lovely smile. Then her mind conjured the image of a distant man. He stood in the middle of a field filled with flowers. He wore simple clothing, nothing fancy. His face was obscured, but his demeanor was gentle. She felt a strong sense of warmth emanating from his presence.
His figure became clearer, sharper as time went on. She could see his features more clearly now. He had short brown hair and tanned skin. He appeared youthful, but at the same time he had an air of maturity about him.
'Soma... I wonder if you are faring well... I can barely remember how you looked...'
Knock-! Knock-!
"Madam, excuse me."
"....?"
Folia snapped her eyes open in surprise as she heard one of the servants rapping on her bedroom's door. It sounded urgent.
"U-um, yes?" She answered shakily, wiping her face with her sleeves before calling out.
"Pardon my intrusion. I apologize for disturbing you while you're resting." The maid continued, "But there's someone who claimed to be an old friend of yours outside. He requests to see you."
"An old friend?" Folia frowned. She was exhausted after everything that had happened. She was tempted to tell the maid to send away the guest for not being in a welcoming mood, but she reconsidered it after remembering Rylai's adorable smile. Now was not the time to wallow in self-pity.
"Who is it? What does he want?" She asked instead.
"He identified himself as Soma. He says he hasn't seen you for several years and wishes to reunite."
"...!"
The name startled her. Folia stood up from her chair and ran downstairs past the bewildered maid. She practically leaped through the doorway, nearly crashing headlong against the man standing outside. The man caught her falling body easily with both arms before she fell backwards. The impact caused her breasts to smush against his muscular chest. Heat rushed to her cheeks as she gazed at the man's face. He was tall and handsome. His eyes were dark brown, almost black, and his skin was no longer tanned like it used to. He had short hair and he smelled like fresh flowers and herbs.
"So... ma...?"
"Folia? Is that really you?"
There stood a handsome- no, beautiful man. His face looked nothing like the Soma she remembered. In fact, his facial traits looked completely different if not for his eyes. He possessed long lashes, plump lips and prominent cheekbones. His jawline had softened, and his eyebrows were more feminine looking. Overall, his appearance resembled that of a young girl's more than an adult's. His body too, looked more slender and delicate compared to his previous self.
But she could recognize his soul through his eyes. Those kind eyes that always looked at her with love and affection, those were Soma's. It was an odd feeling, as if she knew without a shred of a doubt that this person was Soma and none other.
"It's me, Soma. I'm here now. I know I looked different, but it's really me." He smiled at her.
"Soma... Soma!" Folia threw herself against him, burying her face against his shoulder. She wrapped her arms around his neck and wept. His arms circled around her back and cradled her close as he nuzzled her hair. She couldn't believe he came back to her life like this. After all those years apart, Soma has returned to her at last. She tightened her hold around him and pressed herself closer to his body. His familiar scent filled her nostrils and memories flooded through her mind. Memories of when they played together as kids and shared their dreams to one another.
"What are you doing here?" She sniffed, "Why now? Out of all times?"
Soma rubbed circles on her back soothingly as he replied. "I was away for five long years, Folia. I thought it was a good time to return after all the adventuring and seeing the world I wanted. I didn't expect to come home to... this."
"Ah... You... must have heard about me..."
"I did."
For a moment there was an awkward silence. Folia hesitated to speak while Soma waited patiently for her reply. After a while, she said quietly, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I betrayed you..."
Soma responded with an understanding smile, a hint of melancholy crossing his features. "Can we... Can we talk inside? It's freezing out here."
Folia nodded and led him inside.
"Make yourself comfortable." She gestured at the sofa before sitting opposite to him. She folded her hands together and placed them between her thighs, nervous to look at Soma directly. She didn't dare to peek at him since she was ashamed and embarrassed of her current situation.
Folia asked the maid to prepare some refreshments and hot drinks for the guests. Soon the maid came back carrying a tray with two cups of tea and set it down on the coffee table in between them. Soma thanked her briefly and the maid excused herself afterward.
"Have a cup," He offered one cup to her, and she accepted it with a nod. The aroma of the herbal concoction calmed her nerves and made her feel more relaxed. She took a sip from the drink and let out a quiet sigh.
"Are you hungry? Do you need something else?" Folia asked.
Soma shook his head politely. "I'm fine."
Another brief silence ensued as neither uttered another word. Finally Soma spoke, breaking the quiet atmosphere, "I came back to Karda a week ago, more or less. I reunited with my mom and dad, as well as the elder. They are well and healthy, albeit somewhat older than last I remember."
"They are indeed." She agreed.
"I didn't mention your name to them at all. I also didn't try to find out how you were. I was afraid. I was terrified that my fears would come true."
"......?" Folia blinked at him.
Soma sighed sadly before continuing his explanation, "For the past few years, I noticed your letters have grown less frequent. Sometimes I wonder if you forget about me. Perhaps you found somebody else? Or perhaps you weren't interested anymore?"
Folia's cheeks flushed red and she stammered. She felt guilty about neglecting their communication during those five years. "N-no! I...I was just…!"
"That's why I was afraid. I was afraid that when I returned, you'd be married to another man... and I'll miss my chance to be with you. I'll have to stand on the sidelines while you enjoy your life with your new partner." Soma's voice trailed off weakly and he hung his head low, avoiding her gaze.
"That's why I can't meet you right away. I was avoiding you."
"I... I'm sorry." Folia whispered as her voice choked in her throat, "I didn't mean to... I should've told you sooner in the letters... but I couldn't bring myself to tell you the truth... I guess I didn't want you to worry or judge me."
Soma lifted his face, his brown eyes staring straight at her. "But that's the thing, Folia. I have always worried about you, ever since I left. Every day, every night, every moment, I kept thinking of you. I thought of your smiles and your laughter. I wondered what you were doing and whether you were happy. When I got your letters, I read them over and over again, trying to imagine what your face looked like as you wrote each word."
"Then... when I realized that you might have found someone else... that was when I realized that I had to come home, no matter the cost or consequences."
Soma paused for a second, gathering his bearings.
"I wanted to know for myself if my assumption was correct, or if I was wrong. I wanted to meet you and talk to you face-to-face, without being separated by thousands of miles of distance."
Soma took his time to formulate his words before speaking once more. His tone was calm and measured. There was no anger or accusation. Just honesty and understanding. "This may sound selfish, but I need to be honest with you, Folia. I... want you."
Folia swallowed down her saliva, trying her hardest not to cry. She stared down at her feet, unable to look into Soma's eyes. His words echoed inside her head. Her whole body trembled as her emotions threatened to overwhelm her senses. A part of her rejoiced hearing his confession, that he stayed true to his promise. Another part however, felt conflicted and guilty for hurting him with her actions. How could she possibly reciprocate his feelings after she ruined everything they once had? She didn't deserve such happiness anymore, not after her husband shattered her heart and trust. She deserved to suffer and repent for her mistakes.
"I understand our promise was made when we were nothing but clueless children, but it meant a lot to me. It is why I fought so hard, endured so much to keep it intact. But things didn't go the way I wanted it to be." Soma continued, "We are both adults now. I won't blame you for not keeping our promised love. It's natural that you'd find someone else who can take care of you and offer you security and stability. I can't blame you for moving on and wanting a new future."
He finished saying with resignation. "However, I wish you would have told me sooner instead of letting me spend sleepless nights worrying about you. If I knew beforehand that you already found another partner, I would have gotten closure quicker and would have been less tormented in my thoughts."
Folia lifted her eyes to look at Soma. His expression reflected sorrow and acceptance, which pained her heart. She opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything. A lump formed in her throat and tears welled up in her eyes. She fought hard to prevent herself from crying. She clenched her fists tightly, digging her nails into her palms and gritted her teeth in frustration.
"Soma... please... stop talking like this! Stop sounding so sad..."
She brought both hands to her face, covering her eyes as tears ran down her cheeks. Her shoulders shook from sobbing and she felt like she was about to collapse from exhaustion. She couldn't bear to see him suffering because of her failure as a person. She hated herself for not keeping her vow to him and letting him down. It hurt her beyond belief knowing she caused her childhood sweetheart such grief.
'Soma...' She prayed within her mind, hoping he could forgive her and move on without being haunted by their past relationship.
She thought back to when she was young. To the day they met in the flower fields. She recalled how she used to tease him when they first played together.
'He was so cute when he got flustered, wasn’t he…?'
Those days are long gone, nothing more than a fond memory.
'If only things had been different... If only... If only...' She lamented within her thoughts. 'You and I... Together... We could've been... happy...'
Folia was ashamed of herself for thinking and missing Soma only at dire times like this, when she was desperate and scared. In her happier times she abandoned him, ignoring his letters, choosing instead to focus on her marriage and raise her daughter.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." She said, her voice quavering as she struggled to suppress her emotions.
"Please don't apologize." Soma's tone sounded gentle and caring, as he reassured her, "You didn't do anything wrong, Folia. I'm happy for you. I'm glad that you found someone else. I'm glad you had a fulfilling life. I'm sure you had a wonderful marriage and an amazing child."
Soma paused and continued, "Although I must admit it hurts me immensely. I can't lie to myself. I envy him. I hate him for taking you away from me... It pains me to think that he will live the rest of his days together with you, instead of me... I'm envious, jealous... spiteful. But despite all that, I'm proud of you, Folia. I admire you. You achieved everything you always wanted to accomplish."
Soma's words hit Folia like a slap in the face. Her husband... Envy her husband? Jealous of Milos?
'Why? Why does he keep saying these things?' She pondered with a face of disbelief. 'How can he be proud of me when I cheated on him?! How can he just sit there and praise me for finding a new man when I broke his heart!? Doesn't he hate me for abandoning him!? How can he not loathe me for betraying our promise, for not waiting for him? How can he speak of him with respect when he's a lying, cheating scumbag who ruined everything for both of us!? How...?'
Anger welled up within her as she glared at Soma through blurry eyes. She couldn't believe it. Soma actually admired Milos? The same Milos who gambled all of their fortune away and forced her to seek charity from her own parents? The same Milos who caused her family to become poor and bankrupt? The same Milos who humiliated her countless times by publicly cheating and seducing other women to satisfy his perverted needs?
"No! You are wrong! Wrong!" Folia shouted out loud as she jumped to her feet abruptly. She turned away from Soma, trying her best to hide her face behind her hands, unable to hold back her tears any longer. "Do you hear me!? Wrong! Milos... He isn't worth anyone's respect!"
Soma was stunned. His brows furrowed as he observed Folia's trembling form, wondering what could cause her to react in such a way. "What's wrong? Did something happen between you and your husband? Did he do anything bad to you?"
Folia shook her head. Her voice cracked as she tried to explain the situation, "I... I never loved Milos... He... He only married me because my parents arranged our marriage... He betrayed me, lied to me, and broke my trust... He left me alone and ignored our daughter... He gambled all his money away... And worst of all... He cheated on me... many...many...times. So you see... you are wrong... my life... isn't fulfilling or wonderful at all..."
Soma stared blankly at Folia's tearful face as he processed her words. He didn't say anything and stayed quiet.
"Because of him we are in debt! Our family is bankrupt! We have nothing left! The servants haven't received their wage for weeks! And I don't even know if we can feed ourselves by next month! We have nothing left! Nothing! I don't even know how long this house will stand! That's why... That's why..." Folia started crying harder, unable to finish her sentences due to her hysteria. She gasped for air in between her cries. Sobs escaped her lips, causing her to hiccup loudly.
"Shh..." Soma got up from the couch and approached Folia, enveloping her into his arms. "I understand." He whispered into her ear tenderly, "You've suffered so much... It's alright to cry, it's okay to grieve. It's okay to be angry or sad."
"You... you don't understand! I can't forgive Milos! I can't forgive him!" Folia exclaimed in rage, "I hate him! I wish I had never married him! I wish he had never existed! I'd rather die than be his wife! I refuse to let him ruin my life! Ruining Rylai's life! I want him out of our lives! Forever! I...! I...!"
Soma squeezed Folia tight against his chest and embraced her with all his might. She kept yelling and shouting profanities at Milos, cursing him for damning her and their daughter. After a while she became more and more tired, her voice growing weaker until it became hoarse. She rested her forehead against Soma's shoulder, her breathing slowing down and calming. Her arms dropped to her sides lifelessly, her body swaying with unsteady gait as she regained her composure. She felt lightheaded, dizzy, drained.
"Rest." Soma murmured as he held her close and led her to the couch.
Folia let Soma guide her body back to the seat without resisting, too exhausted to object. He sat beside her and kept her head against his chest, stroking her hair lightly. She didn't fight him anymore, letting her body relax completely while enjoying the warmth emitted from his body.
"I don't understand... why..." Folia murmured after a while. "I don't deserve your kindness, Soma..." She raised her head slowly, peering at Soma's face from below. Her eyes widened upon witnessing his beautiful features illuminated by the chandelier lights. She blinked twice, checking if her vision wasn't playing tricks on her. But it wasn't. He was even prettier than she remembered. His dark brown eyes glinted under the light, shining brighter than ever. His plump lips curved up into a small smile, forming dimples on his cheeks.
"Even after what happened between us..." She began to speak again, her voice coming out strained. Her gaze shifted from his face down to his chest, his toned and muscular torso hidden underneath his white tunic.
"Why would you still want to see me again? Why would you risk coming home to me, even though I am not worthy of your affection anymore?" Her gaze remained focused on his clothes, noticing his muscles through the fabric, his masculine frame filling her imagination. She bit her bottom lip nervously, glancing at him bashfully, averting her gaze when she found his piercing stare gazing directly at her.
"Folia." Soma called out her name, raising her chin and tilting her face towards him. She locked eyes with him again, mesmerized by his captivating stare. He caressed her cheeks gently, using his thumbs to wipe away her tears. Her heart raced faster than ever, beating loudly against her ribcage. She couldn't stop staring at him, entranced by his beauty, by his irresistible charm.
"You know exactly why I returned home." He smiled widely, showing off his pearly white teeth. His charming smile sent butterflies fluttering inside her stomach. Her whole body shivered with emotions, her arousal surging through her veins. The mere thought of having him here, in the flesh, stirred up desires within her loins.
"I..." Folia stuttered, finding it difficult to concentrate when all she wanted to do was ravish his body right there and then. She gripped her fists tightly and kept them at her sides. She tried her best not to let herself go wild with lust. She needed to control herself. She needed to keep her desire under check, lest she acted irrationally and made a fool of herself in front of the person who mattered most to her.
"Ever since you promised me, I never forgot you nor stopped loving you. No matter how far I traveled, how long I wandered, it wasn't enough. I returned home because of you." He confessed earnestly, his thumb caressing her chin lightly. She gulped audibly, her eyes closing halfway as she succumbed to his touch.
"I love you." He confessed once again, leaning closer towards her face until his nose brushed against hers. His breath tickled her skin, sending shivers up her spine. She opened her mouth to answer him but nothing came out.
"We... can't... We can't, Soma." She managed to force herself to speak those words while turning away from him. "It's wrong... What if... What if Rylai..." Folia whispered, pausing mid sentence to take a deep breath before finishing what she had to say, "I can't do this to Rylai."
Soma narrowed his eyes slightly but did not respond otherwise.
"If I do this... I wouldn't be any different like Milos, would I...? He cheated on me, on us, his own family... but that doesn't give me the privilege to commit adultery in exchange, does it? It's immoral... and wrong. If Rylai finds out, she will be hurt. Not her... not like this..." She continued, her voice cracking in her throat as tears began welling up in her eyes.
Soma remained silent for a moment before nodding in understanding, "...I see. I understand."
"I'm sorry... Soma... I'm sorry. I... I've never stopped loving you. I wish I could... But... I can't... I can't do it. I... I'm sorry. I don't deserve your love." She sobbed as she buried her face against his shoulder, letting her tears soak through his shirt.
"It's okay. I understand. Don't worry." He responded with the gentlest tone he could muster, rubbing circles on her back to comfort her shivering body. He stroked her hair, tucking loose strands behind her ears, and kissed her temple tenderly. They stayed in each other's embrace for quite some time before Soma broke their hug with reluctance.
They remained in the same position for a while as Folia continued to sob until she fell asleep on his lap, her body curled up next to him on the couch. He gently moved her onto the sofa before calling out the maid hiding behind the hallway, peeking at them with an apparent worried look.
"Help me carry her back to her room. Let her rest. Also, bring some water for her. She will surely wake up soon and will need something to drink to relieve her fatigue." Soma instructed. The flustered maid obeyed without any questions and did what he had asked.
As Soma carried Folia back to her room guided by the maid, he noticed a little girl watching him from the corner. Her blue eyes glowed in the dimness of the hall as she stared at him with transparent curiosity. She tilted her head to one side as if questioning him, 'Who are you?'
The young girl hid herself further into the shadows right before he got to call her.
'It must be Folia's daughter, Rylai. She looked just like her mother when she was young...'
He contemplated whether to approach the girl or not but decided against it, deeming it unwise to scare her off. Instead, he turned to the maid, "Watch over her while she sleeps, she shouldn't be alone in her condition."
"U-understood..."
With that said and done, Soma left the residence. Leaving Folia and her daughter alone for today. He didn't touch her anymore than necessary, choosing to stick with the plan in his mind.
Despite still having romantic feelings for Soma, Folia chose to keep her remaining dignity and morals, to stay true to her marriage despite having been wronged multiple times by her husband.
This was the end of the first day.
The first of the seven days journey that Soma had started and forgotten.
