Nun the Wiser – 3

The massive gears within the tower creak as they turn, spiraling the 9 o’clock tower up by three floors to reach its apex. You put your hands on your hips and beam. It’s nine in the morning, and you’re already done cleaning.

You are Quinn, and it’s the weekend. Normally, you’d finish off with some teatime with Star, enjoying her adorable mannerisms as she info-dumps obscure knowledge. Sadly, the dhampir sleeps late into the day on weekends. With her courseload, you’d probably sleep even more.

How many PhD’s does that girl need?

Either way, you’ve got nothing to do. You can’t even sneak back down to your room to head back to Haven. The visitors realized that you’re not there during the day, so some morons always try something.

Good thing your cute kids have a handle on them. And so creative with the punishments!

You’re heading down to the indoor spell firing range when you pass by one of the labs and notice people inside. A goblin woman in a neatly pressed gray dress and combed brown hair draws on the whiteboard. Occasionally, she stops to discuss with a lean young man with a gruff expression.

Hold on…that’s the librarian guy! The one you hypnotized! What’s he doing here? And the things they’re drawing…that looks interesting.

“Cleaning nun!” You chime and knock on the door.

The pair jump in surprise, the girl even hugging the guy’s leg in fear. When they see you, they sigh in relief. The goblin hand is still on the librarian’s pant leg as she pushes up her big glasses.

“Apologies…Ma’am? Sister?” The girl narrows her eyes. “We’re working on a project.”

“A very important project.” The human rubs his head. “Though I’m unsure where we are now.”

“Because someone erased the whiteboard since we were here yesterday.” The goblin glares at you. “You wouldn’t happen to know the caretaker responsible?”

Oops.

To be fair, a lot of his calculations were repetitive and his spellforms were a bit inefficient. Not to mention it was difficult for practically no reason. The only reason your fogholes work the way they do is because they depend on the rules unique to Haven itself. When you bring them out, only the mirror magic works. This guy was trying to make something similar in Avalon.

“Cirrus, please…It wasn’t too much trouble, and—”

“No, Klein! You spent hours calculating how much mana it would take to make a stable, movable spatial rift. You can’t let an undereducated nun walk all over you!”

Hey!

“You’re right. As usual.” Klein sits down in a chair and cradles his head. “I almost wish the Dean sent me to fight demons. I don’t think I can make a new communication network—”

“Don’t say that!” Cirrus snaps. “You’re a brilliant mage, Klein! Your teachers see that, the Dean sees that, I see that!”

“But why don’t the other apprentices want to help me? Why have me work in this cursed tower?”

“Listen…” The girl brings his chin up to her face. Well, she hops up and brings his face down to her. “Dean Sher’Khan has never been wrong. He must have a reason.”

Wow, they’re really having a moment. You’d feel hot under your vestments, if you could feel heat like that. Actually, all this intimacy is making your loins glisten. You should distract yourself before you do something you regret.

Like correcting that chicken scratch on the whiteboard over there. Again.

It is better than before, but still flawed. As the couple whisper sweet nothings to each other, you cross out some stuff, add a couple zeroes, consider the Fribble-Glipghrak effect, and draw some spell forms.

Interesting idea, but still wasteful. Maybe with a complex enough ritual circle and some very effective fuel…like prana. You shake your head. You’re not going that route. This solution is a dead end.

You move onto another whiteboard, buzzing out the intimate whispers in the corner of the room with magical and mathematic formulas. Their lips are so close! They’re going to kiss! No, focus! Drown yourself in the world of numbers and magic.

…isn’t this what Star does? If studying magic became her method of suppressing DESIRE, it makes sense why she never stops.

As you muse how you understand Star better, you write out a series of possible alternatives to what was essentially sending letters or supplies by wormhole. You break it down into two problems: transportation and communication. Then you plot out some potential solutions. Some ideas are ripped from Earth, others from Haven, and a few are improvements on Avalon’s tech.

Improved airships, drones, mirror magic, better radio, quantum tunneling, electronic networks…

“Hey!” Cirrus yells. “What are you doing?!”

“Distracting myself from your lewd affections.” You say.

It keeps with the nun image. And it’s true: The DESIRE within them is bubbling beneath the surface. With a flex of will, you could have them switching spit and making babies in seconds. The goblin blushes a deep green and stomps over to you to give you a piece of her mind.

“Wait, Cirrus!” Klein rushes over with a grin. “By Celeste, she’s solved it! She’s—oh, wow…I don’t think there’s enough magic in Camelot to make it work.”

“What?” Cirrus looks over your work and her jaw drops. “Huh. Yeah. Thank you, sister? I guess?”

“No worries.” You shrug. “I was bored.”

But you also can’t stop writing ideas on the board. Even as they make less and less sense. It’s like your awareness is perpetually brought to the question you’re trying to answer.

“Why can’t I stop?”

Klein and Cirrus give you a weird look. Then, Klein’s eyes widen and he pulls you back from the whiteboard and flips it over, revealing an enchantment rune on the back.

“Dean Sher’khan makes these for me, to help me concentrate on tough projects. I thought it was less effective than usual, but it seems like you’re vulnerable to it.”

Now that you’re aware of it, you can sense the magic affecting your mind. You break it off fast. Selective magic Adderall? Aren’t you supposed to resist magic? Examining the magic’s form, you realize something: this was tailored to you. It would be less effective on people with less demonic minds…

That bastard! He pulled one over on you again!

“Say…do you mind helping Klein and I?” Cirrus asks. “You’re obviously smarter than I gave you credit for. A lot smarter.”

Clearly, Sher’Khan did this intentionally.

Maybe to distract you, maybe to educate you, maybe to make it up to the student you hypnotized. It’s not like you’re losing out on this. If you help Klein establish a communication network, you’ll learn enough to make your own! You'll be able to talk to your children in Camelot! You're getting worried for them; if you could end them some comforting words and maybe a few sexts, you'd feel a lot better.

“I did say I was bored…I’m Scarlet Lily.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Klein Bottle.” He offers his hand. “I’m taking the Dean’s Apprenticeship Trial!”

“I’m Cirrus.” She nudges up her glasses. “I look forward to working with you.”

The three of you nerd out and discuss your ideas.

Radio is out because towers and relays agitate monsters. Which is probably why they’re based in larger, defended cities. Klein thought that making an electronic network was a good idea, and Cirrus mentioned some friends who knew more about ‘mundane tech’. Drones wouldn’t work because of power and connection issues, and upgrading a fleet of airships takes time and surprisingly lots of political sway.

Then they ask about mirror magic. You wrote it without thinking too much about it, but it has inherently demonic origins. Even if you could hide that, you know enough about it that relies on a twinge of soul magic to ‘connect’ to a person. Non-invasive, but still very illegal.

After a couple hours of tinkering, you manage to modify the magic so that it plays images and sounds in a mirror and not much else. You keep yourself from showing videos of a very steamy threesome starring a goblin, a human, and a redheaded nun. Instead, you manifest a video showing the University campus. The images of Camelot University playing on the screen are good enough for the couple.

The tech and magic trees of Prillia are wonky, that’s for sure.

Your glorified college ad is distracting enough that they don’t hear the clip-clopping of a centaur making her way up the stairs. You smell her before you see her: Tenderhoof.

Ever since you quelled her DESIRE, she comes to visit every now and then when her ‘condition’ flares up. And every time, it’s harder not to offer her something long and flared to resolve her issues.

You’ve fucked a lot of different species. People people, magic people, short people, hybrid people, bird people, dog people, zebra people…You didn’t have a chance to fuck her type of horse person yet, and Prairie comes on by like a sizzling meal that you can’t touch.

Round blue eyes, poofy mauve hair, gentle smile, fat tiddies, and a thick horse ass…You never thought you’d want to try horse pussy, but here you are, nearly salivating as Prairie trots into the room.

“Hello Scarlet!” She beams as she notices the other two with you. “And is that Klein Bottle? I haven’t seen you in years! I’m so glad Scarlet is making friends from outside the tower.”

“Paragon Prairie!” Cirrus gasps. “Wha-Um-It’s an honor to see you here, Miss Paragon ma’am!”

“Oh, no need for all that.” Prairie waves her hands and blushes. “I’m here for a bit of help with something.”

She squeezes her arms together and looks away bashfully. She spots the whiteboards full of equations and cocks her head.

"That’s far too complex to be for any classes I know of. A personal project?”

“Klein is undergoing his Apprenticeship Trial.” Cirrus boasts. “We’re helping him develop a new method of long-range communication.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful Kleiny!” She trots over to embrace him, and you mouth ‘Kleiny?’ to Cirrus.

The goblin’s snickers stop as the centaur leans down to hug him, mashing her boobs in his face. His DESIRE barely stirs, but Cirrus frowns at the older woman’s attention. She’s got a good reason; you can sense the DESIRE peeking through Prairie. She doesn't know why she's doing it, but she's getting some form of satisfaction.

Cirrus is not the only jealous one. '

“I remember when Dean Sher’khan first chose you…I always thought you looked kinder than Slau—well, I knew you would do good! It’s like you’re making the next pony express!”

Kinder than who? There was a plot point she almost gave away there, wasn't there? Damn it, curse that sexy horse-woman! Trotting in here boobily, hugging a guy who won't even appreciate it, and then dropping foreshadowing like it's nothing.

“Do you mind if I borrow Scarlet for a while? Her magic does wonders for my, erm, joints.” She smiles your way and you forgive her instantly.

“Actually, she was showing us mirror magic and I think it has a lot of potential.” Klein winced at Prairie’s sad eyes. “But I can wait, I guess.”

Prairie leads you away as Cirrus whispers to Klein about standing up for himself, and if he could get her an autograph. Prairie brings you to one of the lounges and settles down next to a chair. You sit next to her and put your hands on her hindquarters.

Closing your eyes helps. Not because you need to concentrate to push the holy energies in her and reduce her DESIRE.

Looking at that horse behind is too tempting. There’s a serious question about the furry scale, and how you went from horse-cocked equints to human-shaped dogs. Now to a woman who’s completely horse from the waist down. Wait, doesn’t she have two waists? Or is she horse from the neck down?

Centaurs are weird.

You had a chance in Haven, while Cockslut was strutting around with that centaur. She could tell you wanted to take those glasses off him and have him mount you in the street. She was probably hoping to be the second to ride that pony.

But you behaved. Because, hey, there was bound to be a horny centaur eventually. And now you’re huffing up scraps of DESIRE from a repressed centaur woman. Trying very hard not to think about said juicy centaur woman as you cleanse her.

“You’re very quiet today.” Tenderhoof recovers as you sap the lustiness from her. “Troublesome project?”

“Little bit.” It’d probably be easier with Star.

“Why not ask Star for help?” Prairie apparently agrees.

Wait, ‘Star’? She knows Star by name. Which makes sense, now that you think about it. The Paragons are supposed to be guardians of Prillia, and Star is an incredibly powerful dhampir. Prillia must keep their vampires well-guarded.

“I thought Star wasn’t allowed to meet with anybody? At least, not without them wearing clothes like mine.”

Prairie frowns and gets up, the last whisps of her DESIRE fully suppressed.

“The vestments are supposed to be the first bit of exposure therapy for Star.” If Sher’khan tricked you into wearing these clothes… “I guess it may still be necessary for people who get close to her regularly. But I’ve seen her and even talked to her a few times these past few years. She should be able to handle her ‘urges’.”

You’re going to wring that Bendydick Crumblepatch lookalike’s neck. He forced you into wearing the most uncomfortable clothes for a lust demon, then had a bunch of sexy babes and dudes strut just out of your reach. And for what?

“It’s mostly up to Jesper, who’s responsible for her. As the Paragon of Temperence, he’s got the most experience with bloodmad vampires. He decides the caretaker uniforms.”

Okay, so maybe there’s a good reason. Goodish reason. It honestly sounds pretty shaky, but whatever. If you made the rules, there’d be a lot of women in skimpy maid uniforms cleaning the towers. Heck, that’s the required uniform for everyone who works at the Pickleslut Hotel.

“Maybe I should ask her for help.” You stretch, pretending Prairie’s treatment took a lot from you. “But I doubt she’ll jump on the opportunity.”

“It’ll do her good.” Prairie offers a gentle smile. “Thanks for this, Scarlet. I won’t be able to get treated while the Paragons are mobilizing against the demons.”

Don’t slap her horse ass as she trots away. Don’t slap her horse ass as she trots away. Don’t—

The Paragons are mobilizing? Weren’t the Paragons supposed to be more magic sentai tactical nukes for dealing with big threats? Less armies and more BBEGs, like Kelfiroaxel the Dracolich, or Malachor the Shadowthief. Well, there was that one crisis in 1109, with Belfeggio of the Thousand Minds, but that was still technically one guy.

…You're not a nerd! Star’s history lessons are just really fun.

“Don’t Paragons leave the military matters to the knight orders?” You rush to Prairie’s side as she carefully takes the stairs.

Must be harder to take them when you've got huge hooves and four legs. If the stairs are steep enough, you can imagine a centaur cartwheeling down the staircase if they lean their human bodies too far forwards. Especially with the ballast Prairie's got on her chest.

“Normally, yes.” Tenderhoof’s tone is curt. “But some people believe we haven’t done enough as Paragons. That we need to cement our legacy instead of looking for our apprentices.”

She grinds her teeth. She mumbles something about toy licenses and book signings, but quiets down when she remembers you’re with her. Wow, that's the angriest you've ever seen the good-natured woman. Someone must be getting on her nerves. You’re betting it’s an agent. Prairie is about to say something when you hear someone stomping down the stairs.

Paragon Jesper is taking the steps three at a time, pausing only slightly when he spots you. He’s wearing a purple combat suit, shimmering with enchantments. High grade stuff. His eyebrows furrow slightly but he keeps his pace.

“Paragon Yellow.” He passes and doesn’t even turn his head. “Get in your uniform. We’re leaving in an hour.”

The guy has such a stick up his ass. Which looks great in his iconic suit, by the way. Don’t lick your lips, don’t think about pegging, just…don’t. You had sex with Tuesday and Sunday before you came to Camelot today, but you’re still horny from all the people with the DESIRE just begging to be released from their bodies.

Speaking of, Tenderhoof rubs her head and sighs. If her suit covers as much as Jesper’s does, she’s got a lot of work ahead of her.

She says goodbye and gallops down the stairs to catch up to Paragon Violet. You wish her good luck, pushing a bit of your holy magic her way. You’ve gotten good enough that your holy magic is not only stronger, but you’ve also figured out how to save the holy energy by using temporary blessings.

Should you have given one to Jesper? Nah, one for the team is enough.

He came from upstairs, too. He must have visited Star.

Hold on. If he’s Star’s chaperone and he’s gone to fight demons…Star’s on her own? Unsupervised?

This is your chance to have your favorite nerd touch grass. You rush upstairs at full speed, almost reverting to your true form to fly to the top of the tower. A variety of situations dance through your mind: picnics, sleepovers, joining her in bed to meet her lips in a tangle of limbs and pl—stooooop.

No lewding her, damn it! It was literally on the first thirty pages of Sher’khan’s contract.

PG activities only.

Cuddling is PG, right? It doesn’t matter, you’re at Star’s door. You smooth out your nun habits and push your red hair under the headdress. You’re about to knock when you hear her talking to someone through the door.

“More tea, Loretta? As I was saying, Mr. Jesper is going on an important mission, so I’ll be alone while he protects Prillia.” There’s a pause. “Of course, aside from you five. Where would I be without you?”

Another pause, longer this time. You strain your ears to listen but hear nothing.

“Hahaha…” Star laughs nervously. “You shouldn’t say such mean things, Delilah. Mr. Jesper is only trying to protect me…and those around me.”

This pause is tense.

“What do you mean, ‘what people?’” Star sounds hurt. “Dean Sher’khan is a friend! So are Jesper, Miss Tenderhoof, and Doctor Prism. And we can’t forget Scarlet Lily.”

This is getting a bit sad, even if your heart does somersaults at that last bit.

“W-well, I have a condition, Felicia! There’s a good reason the only friends I have are paid to be here. They’re not here for the ‘bountiful hazard pay.’”

Okay, that’s enough. You don’t care who’s in there, you’re not going to let them walk all over Star. She may be able to level half of Camelot with her magic, but she’s still a sensitive person. This cinnamon roll is too precious to be bullied!

You creak the door open. Just enough to peek. Star is sitting at a table with her back to you, holding a teacup as she talks animatedly with her guests. Five stuffed animals on chairs stare lifelessly into their empty teacups.

Cute.

Star’s ears twitch. Her purple eyes flick over and her pupils shrink into thin slits. You didn’t know vampires could blush.

Star yelps and the door magically slams into your face at Mach 3.

SL-crack-AM!

That crack? That was your nose.

Black, demonic blood leaks from your nostrils and you stifle a moan. Of pain, for once. You magic your blood away before it could stain the floor and encourage your demon healing to fix your nose with a burst of DESIRE.

Breathing clearly? No bloodstains? Good. You knock on the door.

“…who is it?”

She saw you, right?

“It’s Scarlet. Do you…want to talk abo—”

“No!”

There’s shuffling behind the door. She’s on the other side, leaning against it like an angsty teen movie protagonist. To be fair, she’s obviously dealing with some heavy stuff. You spare her a glance of your soulsight. Loneliness, guilt, doubt…negative thoughts and feelings all held back by her discipline. Her soul is quickly obscured in a fog of magic, a spell she’d developed after your third tea time.

“Don’t do that…” Star whispers through the door.

You know what? Star is miserable. No amount of studying or magic is going to make that disappear. At best, it’ll only make it fade away. Or worse, come back stronger when she least expects it.

“I have a friend who’s working on a project. Sher’khan’s student, Klein Bottle.”

“Kleiny?”

Seriously, what’s with these women all having the same pet name for the same grumpy guy?

“Yeah.” How do you explain it without making it seem super boring? “We’re working on a communication network based on mirror projection magic and spatial data transference.”

It’s quiet for moment, until you hear Star shuffle away. You should have known better, that sounded super dumb. There’s got to be another reason to get her out of her room!

There’s a woosh and the crackle of some powerful magic, and you hear Star come back.

Star opens the door, holding some strange markers. Peeking behind her, her room is spotless and organized. No sign of stuffed animals.

“Sorry, I had to grab the three-dimensional markers; it makes understand multi-dimensional spatial calculations a lot easier, especially considering we’ll be interfacing with a magic I’ve never even heard of before—Wait, do you think I’ll need my mithril-tipped instruments…”

Hearing her blab about nerdy stuff is nice. You’re not tricking her into making friends if she’s rushing into mad magiscience with you. She’s yapping like crazy, but she still hasn’t left her room.

She’s scared to step out. Her eyes dart in every direction, her kissable lips moving in a hypnotic dance—

You don’t have time for this. You grab her by the hand and pull her out of her room. Star squeezes her eyes shut, expecting something bad to happen.

She opens one eye and you smile at her.

“I don’t think Mr. Jesper would like it if I left my room…”

“Then we keep it a secret. He’ll be nun the wiser.”

Star huffs and rolls her eyes at the pun, a small grin exposing her adorable fangs. She's so pretty, so cute. This nerdy girl will be the death of you.